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5. You, Me, and my Denial

Taehyung found himself struggling to make sense of everything that had unfolded throughout his day. As he sat at his kitchen table, immersed in his assignments, his thoughts kept circling back to the unexpected encounter with Park Jimin and the exciting job offer he had scored, all because Jimin said he was cool.

He had tried to communicate to Jimin that he wasn't looking for a relationship, but he couldn't shake the feeling that his message hadn't gotten through. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate Jimin's appearance or charm; it was just that he didn't think it was the right time for him to get involved with anyone.

He already had a lot on his plate and didn't want to create unnecessary complications. Besides, there was someone else who had caught his eye. Even though he knew things with that person might not work out, he held onto hope that they could, and he didn't want to miss out on that chance by being in a relationship with someone else.

The sound of his apartment door creaking open startled him. He sprang up from his chair, swiftly cleared the empty bowl next to his book and laptop, and placed it in the sink before heading towards the door. Given the late hour, he hadn't expected Jin to show up at his apartment.

Jin wrinkled his nose as he walked into Taehyung's apartment and asked, 'What's that smell?'"

"Sorry, I was just finishing up my tuna sandwich," Taehyung replied hastily before running to grab his air freshener, frantically spraying it to combat the residual aroma of the tuna.

Jin shot him a glance but remained silent. He nonchalantly shrugged out of his jacket, letting it fall to the floor, before heading over to the sofa and taking a seat.

Taehyung followed close behind, scooping up the jacket and draping it over one of the hooks behind the door.

"I thought you said you didn't like Jimin?"

Joining Jin on the sofa and sitting down, Taehyung turned to Jin with a thoughtful gaze. "I don't, and I don't know why he is interested in me," he confessed.

"I am not sure either. I guess everyone has their own taste."

"I don't think there's anything wrong with anyone liking me," Taehyung responded, not liking Jin's reaction.

Jin smiled as he positioned himself to look at Taehyung, "Who said there was anything wrong with anyone liking you?"

"You didn't exactly say that, but earlier, you mentioned that Jimin had a bad taste in men because he stated that he and I were dating. I may not meet your standards, but that doesn't make me a bad person."

"I said shitty!"

"I understand what you said, but I'd prefer not to repeat it exactly as you said. Either way, I am not like that. If I were, I wouldn't have allowed you to sleep in my bed almost every night for the last six months while I slept on the sofa. I also wouldn't have given you a key to my place." Taehyung was aware that he lacked in many areas and did not meet the standard of most people, but he was certain that he wasn't a shitty person.

Jin remained silent, continuing to stare at Taehyung. Taehyung met his gaze but then looked away. "I have no issue with you staying here, so please don't misunderstand."

With a smile, Jin leaned back on the sofa and crossed his legs. "I know you don't."

There was silence between them after Jin's comment, and they didn't speak until Taehyung stood up from the sofa.

"Where are you going?" Jin asked.

"I have to take out the trash; I forgot to do it earlier."

"Leave it and do it tomorrow; I am sure it will be fine."

"Since the place is small, it will cause a mess, so it's better I take it out now," Taehyung explained, as he didn't want to wake up to the smell of the garbage. He had experienced it before, and it was horrible.

Jin, clearly exasperated, rolled his eyes and reluctantly got up from his seat. "Fine, whatever, let's go. Maybe you should consider getting a bigger apartment."

Taehyung brushed off Jin's remark and reassured him, "You don't have to come with me. It's right around the back of the building; I will be fine."

Jin stood by the door, slipping on his shoes and snatching his jacket. "I know I don't have to; I don't need you to tell me that," he muttered with a hint of frustration.

Taehyung picked up the heavy, bulging trash bag and went to the door without uttering a word. He bent down to slide his feet into his shoes before grasping the doorknob and holding it ajar, waiting for Jin to join him. Once Jin stepped through the door, he followed and gently closed it behind them.

As they strolled down the corridor, Taehyung suddenly felt Jin's hand loop around his arm, drawing him in closer. Caught off guard by this unexpected gesture, Taehyung was about to say something when Jin asked, "Why didn't you put on a jacket?"

"I don't usually wear one to take out the trash," Taehyung said. He typically runs to the trash area to dump his trash bags, but since he was with Jin, he decided to stroll.

"That's not a good idea. If you get sick like that, it can affect me too. You won't like the consequences if you make me sick because of it. You need to take care of your health so it doesn't compromise mine."

Taehyung smiled and responded, "I'm sorry. I hadn't thought of it that way before. You're right; I won't do that in the future."

As they arrived at the dumpsters, Taehyung gently released his grip to dispose of the bag he was carrying. Jin promptly grasped his arm once he had finished. Jin was surveying the surroundings, struggling to make out anything in the darkness, which he found unsettling.

"I want to go back inside now."

******

"Here you go." Taehyung handed Jin a steaming cup of milk, its warmth seeping through the ceramic. "I don't have hot cocoa; I would make you some if I did. Next weekend, I should be able to get groceries, so I can make it then," Taehyung said with a smile.

"That's disappointing," Jin said, taking the milk and immediately sipping it.

Taehyung sat down without saying anything; he wished he had more to offer, but he didn't.

"Why did you choose this apartment so far away from school and work?" Jin asked as he turned his attention to Taehyung while drinking the warm cup of milk.

Taehyung gave an honest response, saying, "It's what I could afford."

"If you found an apartment near the school for the same price as what you pay now, would you move?"

"I probably would, but that's highly unlikely to happen."

"What if Jimin asked you to move in with him? Would you do it?"

Taehyung looked at Jin, confused, and asked, "What? Why would he ask me that?"

"Maybe because he likes you and you like him."

"I don't like him."

Jin sighed, "I'm still not convinced. He said that you had lunch together."

"Yes, but it was as friends, I don't-"

"When did you become friends with him? I thought you didn't have friends."

"Seokjin, why do you keep asking about Jimin? Whether I like him or not, you don't care. So what's the point with the questions?" Taehyung asked, feeling a bit frustrated.

"I don't care! I want it to be understood that whether you choose to date him or not, I will not stop sleeping here," Jin said as he stood up. "I am tired; I am going to sleep now."

"Okay-"

"You can sleep in the bed tonight."

Taehyung displayed a hint of surprise before responding, "No, I'm perfectly okay with the sofa. You should keep sleeping in the bed. The sofa will end up hurting your back."

"I meant you can sleep in the bed with me."

Taehyung hesitated before shaking his head, "N-no, it's fine. I don't mind sleeping on the sofa." The thought of sharing a bed with Jin for the night made him feel nervous.

Jin set down the empty cup on the arm of the sofa and made his way to the bathroom while declaring, "Well, I don't want to sleep alone in bed tonight, so that's where you are going to sleep."

Taehyung sighed heavily and then took the cup to the kitchen to wash it.

After Jin completed his bedtime bathroom routine, he made his way to bed. Taehyung entered the bathroom to freshen up, savoring the quiet moments and wishing Jin had fallen asleep by the time he finished.

As Taehyung emerged from the bathroom, he was met with Jin's disapproving remark: "For someone who doesn't have money to waste, you'd think you would be conscious about how much water you use." Though Taehyung remained silent, the comment left him feeling his time in the bathroom had been wasted.

"Turn off the lights, please, and let's go to bed; I am tired."

As Jin's voice echoed in the room, Taehyung listened, switching off the lights and making his way to the bed. Nestling into the corner, he embraced the feeling of his back meeting the mattress, a stark contrast to his uncomfortable night on the sofa.

However, his peacefulness was interrupted as Jin's leg draped over his waist, drawing him into an embrace. He was then overwhelmed by the gentle touch of Jin's fingers stroking along his chest through the opening of his t-shirt. "Seokjin..."

As Taehyung had attempted to speak, Jin moved closer and straddled his lap, leaning in to rest his head on Taehyung's chest. His hand slipped beneath Taehyung's shirt, settling against his rib cage. "I just realized that if you were to date Jimin or someone else, it would probably be difficult for us to sleep like this," Jin said softly.

As he struggled to regulate his breath and emotions, Taehyung expressed, "I have no intentions of getting into a relationship. My life is already complicated and challenging as it is. I don't have time to date."

"I agree with that," Jin said and sat up on Taehyung's lap. "Focusing on having a better life should be your main priority. It's also expensive to date. Jimin likes fancy dates, and I'm sure most people do."

As Taehyung adjusted his position, he folded his hands and placed them behind his head, gazing at Jin. The soft glow from the street lights outside illuminated Jin's figure, allowing Taehyung to see him. "And what about you?" he asked. "Do you also enjoy fancy dates?"

"Do I like fancy dates? What do you think?"

"I don't know, Seokjin, that's why I am asking. It's hard knowing what you like vs. what you don't."

"I am sure it's not as hard as you are right now," Jin smirked.

Taehyung was at a loss for words and remained silent. Despite his efforts to steer his thoughts elsewhere during their conversation, he found it challenging to suppress his natural reaction.

"Don't think too much about it. It would be questionable to me if you weren't. As for me and dates, I don't know what I like. I like surprises, but nothing has felt like a surprise lately."

"Why is that?" Taehyung was genuinely curious.

"I am tired," Jin murmured, leaning in and gently kissing Taehyung's lips. "Let's go to sleep."

*****

Hoseok groaned as he pressed the phone to his ear. "Why? Just why?"

Jin chuckled as he unlocked his apartment door. "Wake up! Why are you still asleep?"

"It's 6:30 a.m.; what do you mean? Why am I still asleep? I am tired. Please let me sleep. I will call you later, I promise. I love you."

The phone call abruptly ended just as Jin was about to speak. His eyes widened in shock as he hurriedly redialed Hoseok's number, only to reach voicemail.

He attempted to call Jimin with a heavy sigh, but unsurprisingly, it went straight to voicemail. He called again and once more landed in Jimin's voicemail. Knowing that Jimin cherished his sleep above all else and often switched off his phone, Jin felt frustrated.

He stood with his back pressed against the door, fumbling to dial Taehyung's number, only to discover that it was out of service.

*****

Taehyung's eyes widened in alarm as he heard the creak of his door opening. Startled, he quickly snatched his towel and swiftly wrapped it around his waist, taken by surprise as he had just stepped out of the shower and hadn't expected Jin to return.

"Why is your phone off?" Jin yelled as he burst into the apartment, his voice echoing off the walls.

"I-it's just for right now. I am going to put it back on over the weekend. Did something happen?" Taehyung asked with a worried expression, his eyes reflecting genuine concern.

As Jin approached Taehyung, he reached into his wallet and pulled out a sizable wad of cash. Placing it on the bed, he gestured towards it and said, "Here, use this to cover the cost of getting your phone reactivated today."

"Seokjin, I don't need any money-"

"I don't care what you need, just put your damn phone back on. Do you know how ridiculous it is for me to drive here when all that could've been avoided if your phone was on?"

Taehyung inched closer to Jin, reaching out to hold his hand as he gazed intently at him. "Seokjin, did something happen? Are you okay?"

"Nothing happened; I am fine," Jin said, pulling his hand away. "Are you done with the shower?"

"Yes, why?"

"There is a leak at my apartment; I am going to shower here," Jin responded. He returned to the front door where he had left his bag, collected it, and walked to the bathroom door.

"Okay. I probably won't be here when you are done-"

"Where are you going?"

"I have class."

Jin glanced around the room, nervously chewing on the inside of his lip. "Please wait until I am done showering before you leave. It won't take long. And don't worry—I know you are a nerd and can't miss class, so I will drive you to campus so you are not late."

"Sure, you don't have to drive me. If you shower quickly, I can still arrive on time."

"I will," Jin said and turned to head into the bathroom. He stopped and looked at Taehyung. "Why aren't you dressed? You know people can see through your cheap windows, right?"

"I was going to, but you came in suddenly," Taehyung said, choosing to ignore the other unnecessary comments.

Jin stepped away from the bathroom door. "Go get dressed. I will shower once you are done."

"It's fine. I have my clothes here. You can go shower. I will get dressed out here."

Jin folded his arms and gazed at Taehyung, asking, "Where can people see you?"

Taehyung gazed out the window and then turned back to Jin. "No one can see me," he said.

"I don't care. The bathroom is a better place to get dressed. You might want to invest in some curtains, too."

Taehyung gathered his clothes and walked toward the bathroom to get dressed.

As he did that, he strolled over to the window nearest the bed and gazed outside. Peering downward, he caught sight of the dumpsters they had visited. "I guess no one can see in here," he whispered to himself. "But he still needs curtains." 

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