Let Me Down Slowly- Alec Benjamin

Note: Not edited (excuses few mistakes here and there)

He stands in front of the familiar door, unable to look at the wooden frame but more to his worn out shoes as they shuffle over each other in his normal nervous habit.

What a stupid idea it was to come here in the first place, with no idea at all on what to say, yet Felix still found himself where his heart tugged towards to.

This is stupid.

So so stupid, but it's something he has to do.

He can't keep running away.

Not anymore.

So with what's left of his nonexistent pride, Felix raises his hand and knocks on the door, now considering running away after he realized what he just did.

Fuck!

Fuckkkkkk! Fuck!

What did he just fucking do!

Nope, not happening.

Its not too late to run.

Yes, mind as well do that-

The front door suddenly clicks open, revealing a tired Yeosang standing there in the midst of yawning.

He nearly choked on air when he sees Felix instead.

Too late.

Felix shivers on the spot, gulping thickly when Yeosang rubs his eyes to make sure he's not dreaming and then glances past Felix to notice he's alone.

"My brother?"

Felix fiddles with his shakily hands, trying to control the way they're shaking now, "He's at the arcade with the rest. I came alone because..... Well I need to talk to both-"

The front door was just about to slam shut on his face, but thankfully Felix was quick enough to put his foot in between to stop it.

Oh that annoyed Yeosang badly.

His still busted lips snarled, "We have nothing to fucking talk about!"

"Yes we do!"

"Felix?"

His eyes snaps past Yeosang to look at Hwanwoong standing behind him, glancing between the two cautiously before finally settling his gaze on Felix. The burning emotions are clear behind his eyes as his face softens to the sight of Felix, slowly going up to Yeosang and placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Let's just see what he has to say, okay?" Hwanwoong whispers to his boyfriend, who's a heaving angry mess with his glare unnerving to Felix, "We need the closure, don't you think?"

Yeosang didn't react, not instantly at least, however he did release a heavy sigh a few moments after before rolling his eyes and extending the front door wider to let Felix through.

Well...... Here goes nothing.

Now wanting nothing more but to puke all of his organs out, Felix steps inside Yeosang's home. The couple didn't do sparing much of an awkward silence as they walk to the living room with Felix behind them. Yeosang nods to the couch for Felix to sit while he leaned against the wall and Hwanwoong sat on the other side of the couch, his full attention to Felix.

How badly Felix wanted to stall right now.

He wanted to let the Earth completely devour him from existence and hope he doesn't come back out alive. He's trembling so bad in nerves but he knows he has to do this sooner or later.

Now he's here and is left with no choice.

So with a deep breath, he nods to himself and gulps thickly, "I uh..... I know you guys have been trying hard these past two years trying to get me to talk to you guys again, or even for us to be in a relationship. I've pushed you away and I know I shouldn't have done that," He manages to say while trying to not make his voice quiver, "That night when we... Were about to take that step..... I panicked badly and I didn't think you guys would understand. I thought our relationship would change and that's why I left."

Now hearing it, Felix wants to slap himself across the face. Well they were pretty young so of course he had every right to be scared and panic, but to complete ghost on their lives was a bit too far.

Closing his eyes now and taking a deep breath, Felix rubs his hands together before fluttering his gaze to his shoes, "I know it was a bit hypocritical for me to start showing my attention when things got rough, and you have every right to be mad at me, but I just-" He's struggling over his words now, not knowing what to even say, "I just hope you guys can understand where I was coming from when I made that decision to leave."

Silence.

Just silence.

It wasn't an awkward silence, but it was a silence that was forced to digest the heavy words that dripped Felix's lips.

He didn't want to look up, but he couldn't fight the temptation to take a glance just to catch a glimpse to the atmosphere.

Yeosang remained with his face tense, rock solid hard, but he didn't appear angry anymore. He was definitely conflicted, perhaps a little troubled, but he remained silent with eyes studying the ground. Meanwhile his boyfriend held a more gently smoothness to his facial features, but his gaze held onto the steady conflicting spark as well.

Felix knew the memory of the night he stormed out of the house was flashing in their minds, blasting his phone with apologies and that if he didn't want to take a step further than it's definitely okay to wait.

Never again have they heard from him since then, only when he send the break up text and that's it.

He doesn't blame them for what happened. Felix thought he was ready for the next step, but perhaps not yet. Two years Hwanwoong and Yeosang held onto that guilt that they did something wrong, but Felix just didn't know how to handle himself. He didn't want for them to turn out to be just a sexy deprived couple, he loved how things were going.

Guess fear is was drove him away, and now he's not so afraid anymore.

When it's already too late.

Suddenly Yeosang and Hwanwoong glanced at each other, speaking through their eyes a conversation that Felix can't understand anymore, but it was something that made both of them relax.

And Yeosang spoke up first, "This whole time we thought we hurt or did something wrong to you. You know we wouldn't pressure you if you weren't ready."

"I know, okay? I know," Felix mumbled in distress, rubbing his hair underneath his hood, "I'm sorry..... I should've been vocal more about my feelings."

Hwanwoong stares at Felix with his gentle eyes, twitching a soft smile to his lips before reaching to Felix's trembling hands and caresses his knuckles, "Hey, it's okay. You reacted out of your feelings and did what you thought was right at the moment, just thank you for telling us."

Leave it to Hwanwoong to always set the peace between them.

Every single time.

He doesn't like conflict, and thankfully Yeosang cares too much about him to pull any fights to his face.

Felix glances at him and twitches a smile in return, feeling as though a weight lifted up from his shoulders. This has been a ghost that has followed him all this time, and now he feels like he's free from it.

Well.....

Actually not entirely.

His smile slowly twitches back fo a frown and he pulls his hand back, glancing at the two boys with a bit of hesitation, "With all thing being said, I still don't want to be in a relationship," Hwanwoong's face falls but Yeosang looked as though he expected this, "But I would like it if we were friends."

This is where knew perhaps Hwanwoong would agree but Yeosang? Doubtably.

Despite him being so rough around the edges, he had a very sensitive heart. He suffered a lot when Felix left because he thought since he first spoke with the idea, he was the one who drove Felix away.

For him he will probably just..... Need time.

And it went exactly as Felix predicted. Hwanwoong slowly nods but Yeosang only huffs and walks out of the living room, dismissing his side of the conversation completely.

Yet that still felt better than him saying something he wouldn't mean.

He just needs his space for now.

"He'll come around," Hwanwoong comforts him while rubbing his back, encouraging a grin to help Felix ease up a bit more, "Well, talk to me about what I've been missing out on."

And Felix smiles to the boy who once upon a time, made his heart melt just to the sight of his smile.

___________________
A/N:
Well at least that's somewhat explained... Right?

Let's hope Yeosang won't have to deal with anymore fights- Oh right there's still Jimin......

Lol

I PURPLE YOU! <33