05 | Johanʼs Point of View

"Jake." A voice starting to sound impatient called me for I don't remember how many times.

But I continued to refuse to open my eyes, still too sleepy to give a mind to whoever is trying to shake me awake.

"Itʼs already past ten, Jake! How can you sleep with the sun so high up and hot?!"

The way he wouldn't let me be and keeps on being persistent aggravate something within me that my brows meet violently. I opened my eyes to shoot glares at Hariki. But I ended up closing them again with an exasperated sigh, disappointed as I didn't get to witness how high and blinding the sun is just like how he described.

"What do you mean high?" I sulked, lips curled into a pout. "It's all dark, Hariki. And give me back my blanket, I feel cold with my ass exposed."

Grunting, I curled into my knees as I shuffled to the bed. I stuck both of my hands in between my curled knees for some warmth as I plan to go back to sleep. Completely ignoring Hariki until I no longer could as the suddenness not only made me yelp embarrassingly but literally shook my whole system awake and fully aware.

Automatically, I stood up from the bed and started to aggressively rub the left cheek of my ass, cooling down the burning feeling from the forceful slap Hariki gave me. I heard Hariki bursting out laughing as he distanced himself away from me––and from what I might do to him.

♫ ♫ ♫

"How do you have dark circles around your eyes, Jakey? You fell asleep too early last night for you to be so lethargic today," Jakeʼs mom asked curiously, offering both Hariki and I more hotdogs to which we responded with a "yes" and "please" together.

Not a second passed by when I heard a metallic object make a clunk sound as it made contact with Harikiʼs plate first and then mine, a cue that we were given what we were offered.

I uttered a thank you and started to look for the hotdog using only my senses but I couldn't pierce it with my fork, failing twice as the silly hotdog slids away every time I try. Until I felt Harikiʼs familiar slim and long fingers on mine to help me so I could finally eat.

"Well, sleeping more than eight hours is not also healthy," Hariki said edgewise before finally letting go of my hand. "Or perhaps. . ."

The suspense made me turn my face on him, invested in whatever he has to say.

But I can't lie that my heart didn't drum in nervousness even though I know to myself that I have nothing to be scared of and be cautious of.

I know. I know.

But even more so, I can't also deny the relief I felt when I finally heard what Hariki has up his sleeves.

"Perhaps, Jake woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't get back to sleep because heʼs already accumulated eight hours of sleep." Jakeʼs mom giggled at Harikiʼs conclusion and by confident he sounded with his guess while I only shook my head in amusement.

"This guy. . .really," I commented, trying to find the right words to say but to no avail.

They didn't make a big deal of it too, thankfully so I can shrug the topic off even when my mind is slowly drifting off back to what really happened last night.

F l a s h b a c k . . .

"Jake, what do you mean. . .your own body?"

My lips are slightly ajar as the words at tip of my tongue got stuck in the air. 

And as though the time had stopped ticking, the breathing of my heart also stopped for a moment; before it started pounding so hard it feels like it's going to jump straight out of my chest.

He came back?

And beard me?

But how did I not hear him until he spoke?

Was I that lost and clouded by my own thoughts?

"Jake?"

As someone who grew up with very conservative grandparents, I always knew even when they never told me; they expect me to be a good boy who doesn't know how to say a single bad thing. A boy who doesn't curse like the other kids my age even just on a whim, accident, or even when I didn't really mean it.

But fuck it to the heaven and back, what am I supposed to do now?

"Donʼt try to pretend to be asleep now, Jake," the guy warned.

And that made me furrow my brows. Because how can he catch me like that?

"You know that I can see you attempting to slowly close your eyes with the lights on so bright. Youʼre not so slick, man."

Ah. . .

Jesus, why did Hariki leave the lights on?!

I was already caught red-handed, i know. But I still chose to continue my act, eyes closed and body unmoving on the bed. Pretending to be asleep, I instinctively pressed my tongue on the roof of my mouth as I don't only feel nervous but alsp tensed.

"You said we'd talk." I heard him smack his lips with annoyance as he pulled a chair to sit on, his voice coming from the direction of the study table not too far from the bed. "You could've told me straight to my face you actually don't want to rather than treat me like this, Jake. You're hurting this guyʼs fragile heart, ya know?"

As though his words were darts, they shot straight to my tightening chest, penetrating deep as their sharp ends forcefully pierced my skin. And guilt started creeping up into my head that I decided to open my mouth––to finally speak but I felt as though I grew a lump down my throat, I only managed to let out a pained growl.

And I sounded worse than a horse.

What the heck was that? Honestly?!

Now, the awkwardness that wasn't even in the atmosphere earlier was now thick and palpable. And my feelings got really hurt when I heard the guy busted in his seat before finally breaking into suppressed laughter that he obviously tried so hard to keep from escaping his lips.

Jerk. Tawanan ba naman ang kahihiyan ko?

"Youʼre really not as mysterious as you want people to think of you, Jake," he blurted in between the snort and the gasps he makes when he feels out of breath from too much chuckling. "Why am I even friends with you? I don't know!"

The guy couldn't stop laughing that I winced and even had the urge to bite on my lower lips because I was afraid his noises would wake Hariki whoʼs room is just next to mine. I had to endure the humiliation until he finally calmed down, refusing to speak even when I wanted so badly to tell him to shut up but was afraid that I'm gonna make a fool out of myself again.

"Welp" he gasps. "Iʼm glad that I agreed to get Lucasʼ guitar for him, at least I discovered you were finally back. I haven't told any of them though because I knew you hated it when other people decide things for you."

So, Jake is like that kind of person too. The type who dislikes it when his privacy is being invaded. And I think itʼs really a great thing that Jake has a friend who understands that part of him and respects it too.

"I'm not sure if you wanna hear how the bandʼs been doing but since you wouldn't speak, imma just yap here." And just like how he said, he spent hours and hours talking to me even though he never received any response from me.

I listened, though. I tried so hard to be attentive despite the drowsiness I'm starting to feel. I listened until the end. I listened until he's finally lost for words. Until he has nothing left to say.

"We tried so many times to pay you a visit but the hospital wouldn't acknowledge us because your parents and guardians never heard of us, of the band. Imagine how hard you tried to keep us a secret not from just your classmates but also your family? You're hilarious." He sighed. "I won't blame you, though. I'd never. But Troye was so pitiful."

Troye, his relationship with Jake seems deeper than what I can grasp from this guyʼs stories. Perhaps, Troye is Jakeʼs best friend. A friend he can trust his secrets to just like how Mike is to me.

"Troye blamed himself for what happened to you and decided to leave the band he gave all his life to build. Lucas said that he can't play in a band with no vocalist and joined another band. I wanted to keep them, really bad. But I was the youngest and none of you three has actually ever listened to me."

The guy eventually stopped talking when we both heard the birds chipping. I also only realized now that the temperature in the room is starting to get a little hot. The sun must have risen up on us two.

"The birds are scolding me for keeping you up 'till the skies are no longer dark, sorry," he apologizes, contentment is visibly noticeable in his voice. I heard him stand from the chair and walk straight to the balcony where he slid the door open. "Should I come back again? Raise your thumbs up if no then raise your middle finger for yes."

As silly as it may sound, I actually raised my middle finger up in the air to answer him, making us both laugh. Finally, the guy bid his goodbye just like how I've been wanting him to do minutes ago but it didn't feel right for me to let him leave right away.

That I sat up from laying down to shout to him, "wait! What's your name?"

I was surprised as well. And I wish I hadn't done that. Especially with the guyʼs response.

"Mikael. I'm Yang John Mikael. I don't know whether you're amnesiac or you're no longer the Jake I used to know but I'll definitely come back to get my answers. Goodbye for now and see you again next time."

E n d  o f   F l a s h b a c k . . .

//

authorʼs note:

guys, look look look look look at what radvelvet got me as a birthday present. T^T

yes yes yess dats effin right, it's jake! my wife, my husband, and my man, waaaaa! liiiiin, thank yaaa talagaaa for supporting me with my obsession, hahaha.

it's not only jake, mind you, hahaha! she also got me my babies! saur cuitees. ><