authorʼs note:
1,893 words? for someone who's preparing for their finals examination? haha i just really can't resist the want to write, forgive me, everyone. T^T

03 | Johanʼs Point of View

"Care—" I felt Harikiʼs hands grabbed on both of my waists to guide me step a foot out of the now parked car. But since I couldn't see anything, I'm still awfully sensitive at everything that suddenly touches my skin. So, I got startled at the sudden contact and unintentionally palmed him in the face. "—ful."

The doctor said that I still have a chance to see again as long as I continue to focus on recovering and taking extra care of myself. But he also warned me not to get my hopes up as the bullet to my head really did some damage.

"Donʼt also lose hope, there will always be ways to regain your sight back. Instead, be grateful that youʼre awake now. Your family was afraid youʼll no longer wake up as it has been two years since you fell into comatose. I must say, youʼre a fighter." Was the doctorʼs encouraging words.

But honestly, I don't know what I should feel about this whole situation. They said it was miracle. A Godʼs doing while I'm left to wonder what happened to my own body. Where is Mike now? How is he? Is Jamaica looking for me? How about my grandparents? They must already miss me considering that it has been two years.

"S-Sorry," I excused, making a peace sign and biting down on my lower lip to hold back from giggling as I found what I just did funny.

I heard Hariki scoffed but he was patient to continue support me me as we made our way inside of the house. His one arm is wrapped around my shoulders while his other hand was clutching on my arm to prevent me from stumbling on my feet.

I find it really cute of him because unlike what he said being Jakeʼs older brother, Hariki gives off a more younger sibling attitude. The type that even when he complains a lot, he would still run you errands. Makes me wonder whether he was lying when he first introduced himself to me.

It has been weeks since I woke up and ever since I first regain consciousness, Hariki has been taking care me. He was patient although he likes to start a banter with me all the time. Still, he supported me when I was receiving physical therapies. He stayed by my side whenever I donʼt want to be alone. Feed me, helped clean myself and get change.

He helped me with not almost but everything.

He literally became my own eyes.

So, it really leaves with one question. How was Jakeʼs relationship with Hariki before the former attempted suicide and before I possessed his body? Because despite Harikiʼs confident and mischievous demeanor, I could tell that heʼs still distant and hesitant towards me.

"Okaerinasai, wakasama!" the maids—I think? Greeted in unison using Japanese language as soon as the door reveled Hariki and Iʼs presence.

I must not understand the language but anyone can tell it was a greeting. And I did not expect to be greeted with such warmth at all. Especially in a house I'm fully aware I don't really belong to. But still, it made my heart jump in delight.

"You've arrived?" a man with a firm and masculine Japanese accent spoke, his deep voice echoing through the tranquility of every corner of the house.

"Oyaji. . ." Hariki called using an unusual soft tone, making me turn my head at his side. Accidentally, the bridge of my nose lightly bumped with his chin and I shit you not, I was amazed to learn that he was absolutely taller than me than I anticipated.

This guy is not only an inch taller than me.

He's a giant.

Alright, I'm convinced. He's older than me. But! Isnʼt it usally the younger whoʼs taller than their older siblings? I never had any sibling but that is what I observed from Mikeʼs and Jamaicaʼs height difference with their siblings.

"You're leaving?" Hariki asked in a low tone almost as if pleading. "But Jakeʼs just got discharged—" Harikiʼs attempted to beseech the man to stay but he was interrupted by a phone ringing.

The man or I must say Hariki and Jakeʼs father answered the call before returning to Hariki and answered the male, "I have work, Ni-Ki."

I heard footsteps make its way towards us until the sounds stopped in front of me, their presence towering over me. That is before I felt the man lay his hand lightly on top of my head to give me a gentle stroke on my hair before finally walking away without any hi or hello.

"Is our dad the typical workaholic type of man who often forgets about his family like in the movies?" I asked Hariki in a whisper manner and let out an awkward haha.

Hariki responded with only a hum, refusing to give me a definite answer whether is it a yes or no. But even without any enough explanation, I already understand. A sense of camaraderie as my own dad is also a man who is too focused on his work.

My grandparents have told me countless of times that my dad wasn't always the workaholic he is now. Yet, they canʼt blame me for getting hurt everytime dad will make it clear to me that work is way more important than attending my school meetings and activities. Even missing my birthdays and only offer gifts that he swore he wouldn't be able to buy at all if he don't prioritize his work over me.

Iʼd like to believe that dad already has an unhealthy fixation with his work, only finding validation and self-worth when heʼs disregarding his own sanity and stability. Not caring for anything else but work and work and work even when his own body is already begging for him to take a rest.

Grandma said that it has something to do with my mom who left us. That my father was unemployed when he and mom had me, impulsively. Graduating students who were still dependent on their parents.

And as parents and their parental nature, my grandparents from my mother's side forced the two to get married without much planning, refusing to abort the baby as they believe doing so is a sin. Which in the end resulted with more problems because my parents were never ready to have a baby. Feeling like their plans and dreams got shattered by one heat of a moment, their love that was once full of admiration got replaced with disgust and hatred.

But none of them regretted that decision more than my momʼs parents. Realizing that my dad can never give her a secured future, they forced the two again but this time to divorce. They took control of everything and never did once let my parents decide for themselves. And I believe that they were the reason why I grew up with a broken family.

They were cruel and manipulative to the point that they took mom away right after the divorce got settled, only came back with the news that mom finally gave birth to me, a baby boy. And coming with the news is their strong refusal to take responsibility of me.

♫ ♫ ♫

"You didn't have to carry me on your back, I'm blind but not crippled," I retorted, settling on the soft mattress where Hariki placed me. "I should be able to memorize how many steps the stairs are so I wouldn't be much of an inconvenience while regaining my sight back."

"Donʼt worry, I've already requested dad to install a stair climber. I donʼt want to always carry you as well." I heard him open every window, shuffling the curtains. "Come here."

I stood. "Where?"

A lock clicked open. "Follow my voice, Jake."

Inhaling, I turned my head to the side where I heard his voice coming from and slowly moved my feet to take little steps, trembling hands in the air, searching for anything I can reach and hold onto.

"Where did the big talk go?" Hariki teased, grabbing my hands to lead me out the balcony. He made me clutch on cold steel railings before letting go of me. "Welcome back, Rapunzel."

"Rapunzel? As in the Disney Princess with extremely long and bright golden hair?" I questioned, tightening my grip on the railing.

Here I am, back at pretending to be Jake.

"Hey. . .how was my relationship with you and everyone before? How was I before I lost my memories?"

I might be in a vulnerable situation right now but I need to cope up. I'm at a disadvantage, losing the ability to see, but I have faith that things will go back to how they used to be. Soon, I will find answers to my questions: what happened to my own body? How did I wake up in another personʼs body? How can I go back? And where did Jake go?

"You were unfriendly, you don't talk to other people unless necessary," Hariki started. "You never walked to school with me, always glaring when you look at me, and you told your classmates to ignore me."

"Wow, thatʼs terrible."

He laughed at my reaction. "I didn't like your classmates anyway, they think too highly of themselves just because you guys are honor students from the star section."

"Personally, I think I'm good at math and physics," I commented, earning a snort from Hariki that made me chuckle.

Hariki let out an airy laugh before continuing, "do you know that youʼre a church boy despite your ugly personality? You're part of a choir and you play violin."

I listened attentively to his story, taking in every informations that might be useful for me later. But suddenly, Hariki stopped talking.

As though he realized that he made a mistake of mentioning something that might be too sensitive for me. But I really don't mind, what harm can he do to me anyway? I'm not Jake. But at the same time, I figured that it must be hard for them as well as Jakeʼs family. So, I didn't push it and let him go when he said he wanted to take a rest after a whole day of looking after me.

I feel bad. I feel really bad.

After learning about Jake and Harikiʼs past relationship, it leaves me with more questions. What kind of life do they have? They don't feel like they're struggling financially. Is it school? Jake's friends or classmates? Why did Jake attempt to kill himself?

Due to too much thinking, I fell asleep before I even realized it. I was awakened by the door at the balcony of my room being slid open, still feeling lethargic, I didn't mind the noise at first. But the second that the question: "did I lock the balcony before going to bed?" came to my mind, my eyes immediately shut open.

But what was more alarming than the sound was the darkness that blinded my eyes, terrifying me to the core as not even a sight of light can be found at every direction I turn my head to.

Petrified, I wanted to desperately shout Harikiʼs name to call the guy for help, not caring about the time and if I am going to disturb anyone. But when I was just about to move my lips, I immediately froze on my position.

"Jake?" a man called out, his voice coming from the balcony door.

He's clearly not Hariki.

//

japanese terminologies:

okaerinasai means "welcome home" or "welcome back".

wakasama is "young master".

and lastly, Oyaji means "father" or "old man".