Inspired by the prompt 'While putting your favorite condiment on a sandwich, you accidentally make a magical occult symbol and summon a demon.' There's more.

Phoebe has an odd family.

Her grandfather Bennie had welcomed demons in his home for sandwiches when he had just been a business student. Her grandmother Callie had inherited cookbooks and a demon guide from her own grandmother. They gave birth to Uncle Niko and her father Levi and Aunt Iris.

Uncle Niko has an odd talent with cats. He marries a vet named Amara, who understands the family business. They give her cousins: Simon, who loves squirrels. Mirabelle has a fondness for peacocks. And Bliss. Nobody comments on when she goes into the forest with a hunting knife and returns with bloody hands. As long as she doesn't kill pets or humans or the three animals stated above, there's no problem.

Aunt Iris always has irises tucked into her hair. Sometimes people look away from her and her crazy multicolored outfits because she is so unabashedly human. She loves women instead of men and marries Daphne, who is a culinary student. They don't have children, but they did adopt Arihi, a girl descended from the shamans of Polynesia.

Her father Levi is the friendly man who something in you tells you not to trust, but you do anyway. He meets her mother Carolina when they are in college. She is the seventh daughter of a strict Catholic family and was in therapy for what Bliss does. Nobody in the Hall family minds. They have been shaped by magic, and they know magic appears in odd ways.

Odessa is the first daughter. She wears her hair back in a severe bun, and she has an air around her that makes you think about pain. The twins are second, Sol and Sky. They are balls of energy, tricksters both. Sky is the one who doesn't get caught. Art loving Bianca is next, then gloomy, head stuck in the clouds poet Sonnet. Graceful Grace is the dancer, every movement like a long dance. Then there is beauty Gemma, who people wisely say isn't as beautiful as Aphrodite. Then Jefferson is born. He's a gamer and groans about working in the pub but everyone knows its sarcasm.

Then, finally Phoebe.

At this point, the strict Catholic grandfather on the maternal side says she has to have a godparent. (Clearly, he didn't know the family his daughter had married into.) He has tolerated the others before her, but not this one.

Levi has a history degree, and Carolina has a literature degree. (Most grownup Halls do, along with either art or folklore or something else in those realms. It keeps them from pissing off anybody.) This was before they knew about immortals, and they jokingly decide to write Persephone di Death down.

Persephone, goddess of spring and queen of the Underworld.

It is two days after Carolina and the new baby come home. They haven't had a name picked out, because everybody's minds are oddly blank. Sol is manning the counter when they come in.

He is tall and dressed for business, but Sol can't really see his face. Her eyes slide off and onto his partner. She is a redhead, dressed in black and pink and a flower crown, looking like she is in college. She assumes that they are new spirits who heard of the place from a friend. "Welcome to Hell's Café, what can I get you?"

The woman smiles. "Such a polite girl. I'm afraid I'm not ordering anything. I'm here to see my goddaughter."

Sol drops the coffee pot in her hand in the dead silence. It is caught by the man's skeletal hand because he is a skeleton- She turns and calls into the kitchen. "Aunt Iris, Persephone's here to see the baby."

"What-?" Iris pokes her head out and then sees the couple. Somehow, somebody got Carolina. She comes down with Levi, holding the new baby. A soft puff of red hair has formed on her head already.

Persephone takes the baby from her parents' arms, staring at the child. A smile forms as she lets out a coo. "Hello, Phoebe." The newly named child giggles and watches in wonder as Hades waves his hand. Small lights like fireflies appear, and Phoebe reaches.

"You aren't going to take her, are you?" the mother asks finally.

The two gods looked shocked. "Of course not," Hades says. "My wife is her godmother. She's meant to be watched over." A smile appears. "Unless you want us to take her?"

At this point, five-year-old Jefferson who was not happy about having a baby in the house, says "Yes."

That's when chaos erupts.

At least three members of the family launch at Jefferson to keep him quiet. Levi and Carolina start begging for their daughter back. Bennie lets out threats and heads to the box that holds the banishing spells for troublesome customers. The rest of the customers looks ready for a fight.

Persephone hands the baby to Hades and lets out an ear-piercing whistle. Everyone silences. "You do realize I was making a joke, right?" She asks before taking Phoebe back. She hands the child back to her mother. "Seventh daughter of a seventh daughter is a rare occurrence, after all." She stands, taking her husband's arm. "Bye-bye Phoebe."

They leave. The tension in the pub didn't dissipate until the next day.

Phoebe grows up to love stories, finding a large bouquet of flowers every year on her birthday. In the center of each is a flower made of jewels.