Disclaimer:

I do not own nor claim all the rights to 鬼滅の刃 | Kimetsu no Yaiba | Demon Slayer; all rights are reserved to its respective creator, Koyoharu Gotōge. This is purely a work of fiction; names, characters, businesses, events, localities, and occurrences are all extrapolated from the author's writings and imagination or utilized in a fictitious manner. As such, any direct or indirect references to actual entities, dead or alive, or events do not, in any shape or form, resemble the opinions of the author.

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"..." = Dialogue

'...' = Internal monologues

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It was bright and clear outside, and the window pane allowed for the irradiance of the sun to shine its beams confidently without a moment's hesitation.

Flowers were blooming, and a cherry blossom tree was fully adorned with its iconic, pink sakura.

It wasn't blistering hot nor was it numbingly cold; the moderate conditions between these two extremes attested to the Spring weather outside.

Nevertheless, despite such a picturesque setting, a heavy weight was pressing down upon the atmosphere, bringing about an air of despondency that is seldom replicated in most instances.

The contrast between what is and what is to become was evermore present. In other words, what lies ahead is bleak, and the soul is likely to be dispirited and utterly at the mercy of the ruthless hand of reality.

The infectious grip of despair and sorrow had manifested themselves under such tenuous circumstances.

*Beep* *Beep* *Beep*

The rhythmic pulse of the vital signs machine echoed brazenly throughout the expanse of this particular room.

In isolation, this repetitive sound gave the impression of a subdued environment bereft of any redeeming qualities.

Because, in essence, that is exactly what currently defines this particular place at this particular time.

..

..

"Even if Muzan Kibutsuji and his lackeys are defeated, even if you and your beloved Tomioka Giyuu survive the carnage that will inevitably follow, and even if all that you hope for is made true... you will still have to taste the bitterness of mortality."

"Whether by the sword, the disease, or the slow decay of time, Tomioka Giyuu will die before you."

"And there will be no comfort for you. No comfort to ease the pain of his passing."

"He will come to death. Much like those who came before him, it would harken to the end of an era for the myths and legends of ancient Japan; the magnificence and glory of the Hashiras and the Demon Slayer Corps will rot away with him. Becoming only a forgotten piece of history, lost forever in the memories of the deceased."

"But you... You will be one of the few that keeps that connection alive, but only for so long."

"You will linger on... in the darkness and doubt that is your grief. Nightfall and winters will come without a star, without a glimmer of hope or happiness in the confines of your soul."

"Here you will dwell, spending the last of your days bound to your grief. The passage of time will feel agonizing and torturous."

"You will forever be separated from him. Never to see him, never to speak to him, never to touch him, and never to love him."

"In due time, your life essence will succumb to that grief, and you yourself will pass away in sorrow."

"Whatever feelings, memories, or value you hold towards him will disappear the moment you will have utterly spent all that is left of your lifespan."

"You will die knowing that you will never be able to see your beloved again."

"Your love never to reach him again..."

..

..

Shinobu

I had lost all sense of reality.

I couldn't perceive my surroundings correctly because I was drowning in my own mind; the anguish was released so passionately from the inner sanctum of my heart that I couldn't function properly.

As if all the pent-up emotions I've been suppressing have now simultaneously been unleashed.

Tears were unabashedly streaming down from my eyes, clouding my vision. Every rasp of breath compressed my lungs and choked the life out of me, as my sobbing was too great for me to control my breathing.

As I perched myself on the floor, sitting on my knees, I didn't dare to look up from the bedside—to look at Tomioka and his frail state.

The love that had brought solace to me was now tormenting my very soul.

I was utterly heartbroken, unable to reassemble the shattered pieces of my spirit.

I couldn't bear the thought.

The thought of him dying again, the thought of watching him on his deathbed before he departs the Earth, and the thought of being alone once again—without him by my side.

I don't like it.

It hurts. It tortures me.

It pains me to the core, depriving me of any hope I had hitherto held about my feelings.

Doubts were arising, doubts about those very feelings—the tenderness and warmth of my fondness towards Tomioka.

I care about him. I want to protect him. I want to be at his side as much as I possibly can.

I love him. I love him so much... But I love him too much to watch him die in my arms again.

How can you love when death constantly surrounds you? Is it worth it? Is that small interval of blissful delight worth the inevitable devastation you will feel?

Is there a point to any of this?

I am lost once again, caught at an impasse between my future and my convictions.

It was as if I had been thrusted back to that grief-stricken state, all the memories rushing into my head, reminding me of the costs of such sorrow.

I can see my parents and Nee-san. I can see their corpses, and their names inscribed on the family grave. Their final words to me, and how their deaths still haunt me to this day. How it was like poison in my veins; the indescribable pain when I realized that they were truly gone and I was truly alone in this world.

My worst fear, the worst pain one could experience, is the feeling of loneliness and wistful longing after someone you rely on the most leaves you.

"You thought you could replace the love you lost through the death of your family with the love of your fellow Hashira. Pathetic. You are naive. In the end, you're just a lonely little girl craving for minutiae of love that will fill the gaping hole in your heart."

Nothing's changed. I naively thought that everything would magically change if I simply acknowledged these feelings.

But, of course, it's all hopeless.

Not only does Tomioka hate me for my deception, but he too will leave me one day...

Like everyone else...

Strong palpitations in the chest further aggravated my heightened level of anxiety and distress; as tears were strewn across my face—blurring my vision—my body began to feel incredibly heavy and, thus, rendered immobile.

The emotional weight was too great: I couldn't physically or mentally comprehend the implications of that burden and suppress its effects.

I was at a loss.

As if I've already given up at this point.

Given up on fighting this demon, escaping from this illusion, and pursuing those intimate, passionate feelings of ardor for the Water Hashira.

It's all pointless anyway.

Death is inevitable anyway, and there's nothing I can do about it.

I felt myself hollowed out, each teardrop deprived me of the will to persevere—to resist and fight back against my enemies.

I could feel my chest being chewed out from the inside, the inconsolable grief implanting its pernicious grip over my soul.

I felt completely demoralized.

Nothing mattered anyway.

There was no point to any of this.

If the end result is always sadness and pain, then there is no hope in my life.

Happiness will forever elude me, leaving only anger and despair in its wake.

I once believed that the road of happiness continued forever and ever into the distance...

When it was destroyed, I realized for the first time that it lies upon a thin sheet of glass...

..

..

..

..

..

..

*Rattle*

There was a sound from the entrance of the room: the sound of the shoji screen door being slid open.

Then, a footstep or two, indicating the arrival of an unknown individual within the room's perimeters.

*Rattle*

The door was shut close.

Shinobu was sitting directly to the left of the bed, whilst the entrance was approximately 10 feet (3 meters) to its right—meaning, she couldn't visually detect this person who was supposedly standing opposite to the bed, which was blocking her line of sight.

But she didn't care much.

After all, she was experiencing a wave of torment, and she did not want the pain of looking at Giyuu's perilous state again—not daring to stand or to look upward toward the future.

Overwhelmed by the despair, she had lost the motivation to do much of anything.

She continued to weep, to weep for the futility of it all—the futility of her aspirations, emotions, and efforts.

But, most of all, she wept for Giyuu's passing; she had vowed to never again let death snatch her beloved away, only to realize that such a development is far beyond her control.

She was powerless once again, just like with her parents and Kanae.

Her essence was being shrouded in a cloak of spiritual darkness, which engendered self-doubt, nihilism, grief, and fear all at once.

Happiness will elude her, but death will always be a constant.

Shinobu's submission to this grief was all but a certainty at this point. Kanashimi took comfort in knowing that her mission had been completed with such ease.

Nevertheless, the demon was slightly confused by the presence of this new entity within the room. She hadn't summoned them, so why are they here?

No matter.

The Insect Hashira is within her grasp.

She will now almost certainly capitulate.

..

..

..

..

..

..

"Hey, Grandpapa..."

I stopped.

I heard a voice, its source being from the opposite side of the room. Likely the person who had just walked in.

"Sorry I'm late."

The cadence was of a masculine nature, yet it wasn't too mature to characterize it as a full-grown man. Indeed, it exuded a youthful energy that had lived a life of happiness and comfort—a perfectly normal boy.

"It was a long train ride from Tokyo... so it took a while haha," he chuckled almost unenthusiastically.

There was a hint of dither from his tone—it was quivering ever so slightly, yet that tremor in the inflection was concurrently being suppressed to put up a comported outlook.

This person was clearly disquieted by the image before him, but he was trying to put up a strong face.

"If you're wondering, university is going well for me. I've managed to maintain good grades by studying hard—like you wanted me to."

"..." Tomioka didn't respond, he was likely asleep.

"Nee-san and Nii-san have been doing well too. Although, you probably already know that, given how they're already here and I'm the last to arrive..."

"..."

"H-How have you been," his voice began to shake, "Grandpapa...?"

Grandpapa? Tomioka?

I was initially baffled at the first utterance of such words, as my head was still reeling from the breakdown I was having.

But it wasn't too hard to come up with a plausible conclusion.

This is Tomioka's grandson...

"..." silence continued to enclose the room with its suffocating atmosphere.

"Do you remember, Grandpapa? That one time when you told me..." he abruptly stopped, unable to finish his sentence without expressing any form of melancholy.

I didn't know what to make of any of this.

Tomioka's grandson... implying that one of this boy's parents is a child of Tomioka.

Which all implies that Tomioka wedded some woman, someone to bear his child.

I felt a pang of heartache—as if the depths of my despondency couldn't go any deeper.

I was afraid.

After all, Tomioka hates me, doesn't he? I've lied to him, deceived him, so he's bound to hold grudges against the likes of me.

Everything he said on that fateful night in the forest...

..

"Tell me Kocho, do you really think you can fool me with those fake emotions?"

"You never cared about me!"

"You just want to leave me..."

..

He was right in hating me...

Why would he love a person like me? A weak, lying, and callous woman who can't even reciprocate the kindness he has shown me!

I'm so selfish. I prioritized my feelings over Tomioka; never once had I considered the possibility that my love might be an unrequited one.

I assumed that my love would reach him because I'm the only woman he interacts with.

What a stupid notion.

I have no right to monopolize his feelings

He deserves better than me. I can't just deprive him of the choice, the agency to choose his own happiness.

And he won't find happiness within me: I'm a miserable and pitiful woman not worth his love.

He has every right to hate me.

I don't deserve to be jealous, to be heartbroken, or mad over whomever he chooses to feel a deep affection for.

And yet... And yet! I don't want that to be true!

I want Tomioka all for myself, I want to pour all I can give to him and receive all that he can offer.

I want to be the only woman at his side, forever and ever.

But I know that even such selfishness will still not save me from the grief that will transpire with his death.

I just don't know anymore. What is the answer to my woes?

How do I love and live happily ever after?

I felt myself drowning again, my mind racing without hesitation—concerning itself with matters that only serve to further assail me through the exacerbation of my uncertainties and insecurities.

Intimate attachment is like a double-edged sword: you want more of it, but the more you have, the harder it is to inevitably let go of it.

The grandson was able to speak again: "... you told me that, 'You will only realize the true value of something after you've lost hold of it. You will only notice how truly important something or someone is after they've passed. Cherish every moment, so that you won't have to do so when it's too late.'"

As if by instinct, I immediately lifted myself up, instantaneously recognizing those fateful words articulated by the boy.

I could never forget those words. The wisdom, the suffering, and the affection are imbued into each word, each sentence. The collective culmination of one's journey in life; the ultimate lesson that ought to be heard by all.

Whether from Akihiro-san or Old Tomioka, each voice expresses and imparts that knowledge just as powerfully as the other.

Arising out from the oppressively caliginous caverns of my heart, out from the Darkness that encompassed my thoughts, I emerged into the light—into the wider world.

The ascend was laborious and anxiety-inducing, but I pressed on nevertheless. My knees, evermore heavy in spirit, wanted to drop down and relegate myself back to that depressive state of self-anguish, but I felt obligated to answer this calling—this reminder of something I've overlooked, something I have forgotten.

The light pulled me in, offering consolation to lingering doubts that I have perpetuated.

If I didn't take this opportunity, then I will have forsaken something that is far greater than me.

I may find what I seek here.

"I didn't understand much of it at the time, and I even thought it was pretty lame... But I think I now understand why you told me, why you also tell Mama and everyone the same thing," the boy says.

My eyes were still watery, so I was momentarily blinded. But I could distinguish the outlines of a figure standing on the exact opposite side of the hospital bed.

"..."

"You've suffered a lot, haven't you? You've experienced worldly pains that I couldn't possibly imagine," he continues.

My blurry vision was gradually improving. With each passing second, I was beginning to discern more and more of the environment and the boy that stood before me.

"But you also know the purest forms of happiness. You and Grandmama raised my Mama and her siblings—my aunts and uncles—with such great love and care. And they, in turn, raised me and my cousins with an equal amount of endearment."

As I rubbed off the last of the watery substances situated alongside the eye sockets, I was now able to look at the interlocutor without hindrance.

My eyes widened.

This boy looked like someone in his late teens to early 20s, confirming my prior assumptions regarding his age.

I could tell, though, that he was the spitting image of Tomioka, with long, unruly black hair and a facial expression that would've—under normal circumstances—appear to be staid and emotionless.

But, more importantly, his pupils displayed a tinge of deep lavender, or amethyst, irises that reminded me fondly of my mother's eyes...

"I just wanted to thank you, Grandpapa—and Grandmama too. You both have seen the worst of what this world has to offer, but you both showed your children the best this world has to offer. You and Grandmama are incredible people and... I just..." his voice cracked.

His face then softened with a meek grin, "I just wish I spent more time with you..."

There was this inexplicable connection I felt towards the boy.

Like someone I wanted to caress and tenderly reassure that everything would be all right, someone I would soothingly care for on the merit of familial bonds.

I don't know why, but looking at him calmed the discordant, chaotic state of my emotions—as though I had to do so by duty.

Almost along the lines of a motherly instinct to protect her children.

Familial bonds...

"Sh-Sh-Shinobu..." Tomioka's scratchy, weak voice called out.

Upon hearing this, I carefully turned my head down, looking at the emaciated Tomioka once again—and, once again, bringing pain to my chest.

Why is he calling for my name? My first name, at that?

Shouldn't he be calling for his wif—...

"W-Where is Sh-Shinobu..." Tomioka asks again.

It had already clicked.

The boy smiled, "Grandmama is doing fine. She is upstairs right now, resting. She hadn't left your side for a second; we had to practically force her to leave this room and rest elsewhere."

"Good... Good... As long as she's fine... I'll be fine," Tomioka sighs, relieved to hear the status update.

My heart skips a beat.

Oh, Kami-sama... I'm Tomioka's wife...

And this boy in front of me... is also my grandson.

We have children together... and then grandchildren...

The very thought of it is enough to raise my spirits significantly and eschew all the negativity that hitherto circulated in my mind.

I can feel butterflies in my stomach and my heart fluttering like some novice bird taking its first flight.

I then recall something incredibly important that I had forgotten.

..

"I was... always have been... and always will be... in love with you."

..

He chose me then, and he still chooses me now.

I'm beginning to understand why he said all that; why it had to be said. Because there's no other way to describe such a timeless and boundless feeling: regardless of which timeline it is, irrespective of how our lives may end up, he still chooses me.

It's as if the threads of destiny tie our paths together, creating an eternal and everlasting bond that goes beyond the constraints of time, life, and death.

Even when I passed, he loved me.

Even when I'm alive, he loves me.

Even when everything goes awry, even when we are at the lowest of lows, he still loves me.

And I still love him.

"Ginosuke..." Tomioka beckoned this boy over by name.

Ginosuke... Our grandson's name...

"Grandpapa," Ginosuke acknowledged as he descended and sat on his knees, he then pulled out both his hands and clasped Tomioka's left hand.

Tomioka reoriented his head to face him eye-to-eye, "You are a wonderful, bright boy, Ginosuke. And you have a bright future ahead of you. Your Papa and Mama are lucky to have you as a son, and your Grandpapa and Grandmama are lucky to have you as a grandson... "

Tomioka then smiled weakly, "Shinobu and I are incredibly proud of you."

Tears began swelling at the corners of Ginosuke's eyes, and he lowered his head as both a gesture of appreciation and sadness.

I walk over to Ginosuke, to my dear grandson.

As I watch him, as I watch my future before me, thoughts begin to swell.

It was then that I remembered another vital memory.

..

"I have indeed felt a great loss, but love is timeless and eternal. His love for me has not left this world. It is still inside of my heart, and it is reborn in the form of new love—my children. Those little rascals carry a part of Hiroto-san and me, and I think that's the beauty of it all. He will always be there."

..

Looking at Ginosuke, my grandson, I finally understand it all. I finally understand what Akihiro Yui meant by this.

My love for Tomioka Giyuu isn't simply defined by what we choose to do in the present. It isn't a transient phenomenon with no external consequences.

The true value of love is not that it continually exists perpetually but merely that it HAS existed—that there WAS something meaningful and pure about it.

And that meaningful part can manifest itself in so many different ways.

By virtue of their very existence, my children and their descendants are proof of the everlasting nature of our love.

I will indeed grieve for Tomioka Giyuu's death into the future, the very thought of it still induces fear and sorrow within me—even if I still have many decades before its arrival.

But I cannot succumb to despair.

Even if my feelings can no longer reach him in the material world, it will be reborn each time our descendants are brought into this world.

Even if I can never see him again, I will have children and grandchildren who will always carry a part of Giyuu with them—whether by appearance or manner.

And, I too will be a part of my children as well, and their children, and so on.

It is a timeless, boundless, and eternal phenomenon. A flexible, incorruptible, and infinite feeling of contentment.

As I gaze upon my own grandchild, I am given the living, tangible proof of that conviction.

I smile.

He has my eyes but Giyuu's face.

He composes himself like Giyuu but speaks like me.

I can see so much of me and Giyuu within this boy, this grandson I will not see for another few decades.

The child of our child, the greatest gift bestowed upon a parent: the elation of having to witness the baby you've nourished and guided to adulthood start a family of their own and bring their child into this world.

It's a sentiment I shouldn't technically be having right now. But I suppose I'm merely getting a head start with this.

There are a wide array of emotions, including ones contradictory in nature, swirling around the confines of my body. They touch and prod the soul, battle for the spirit, and create an adequate response to what is occurring before me.

I am aggrieved by Giyuu's poor condition, and yet a feeling of warmth encases my soul like a warm blanket when I look at Ginosuke.

Ginosuke began weeping, hitches of breath interrupting his flow of respiration. Nevertheless, he maintained his grip on Giyuu's hand—not daring to let go.

'Poor child, he needs to be comforted,' were the first thoughts that came into mind.

As if by nature, I gently approach him, subsequently sit seiza-style right next to him, and wrap my arms around him for a warm embrace.

I hug him with all the motherly affection I can possibly give, the affection that I have conjured up very prematurely for this situation.

"Shh... It will be alright..." I instinctively say, knowing full well they can't hear me. "Grandmama is here..."

Within seconds, Ginosuke's weeping ceased, and he was carefully lulled back into a state of gentle acceptance.

Interestingly enough, even though they can't see or hear me, I can still touch them to some effect.

As Ginosuke calmed down, I also reached out my hand to Giyuu—whose hand was still holding Ginosuke's.

"Hm..." Giyuu beamed with glee, and then promptly shut his eyes.

I began to recognize my true purpose.

Even after all this time, after all the vows I've made, I still wavered in my convictions and still doubted these feelings.

But now those doubts are no more.

I now fully comprehend the task that lies ahead of me.

I have to continue to uphold what I fundamentally believe in.

I have to continue pursuing those feelings, affirming them, and solidifying them. I want to at least give it a chance, to give that life the chance it deserves.

After all, it's not just Ginosuke, but also my own children and other grandchildren that the heavens wish to nourish with life.

And all of them will be a testament to the love I have for him.

An intimate, passionate love for a certain Water Hashira. And that love will remain timeless and boundless.

It won't be an easy task, and happiness will not always be guaranteed. But grief is a natural state of life, and it's what you choose to do with that grief that determines whether you live a genuine life that will leave you content in the end.

A life that you can look back on with no major regrets, with no intention of reversing.

Grief has a grip over me, but I refuse to let it devolve toward a path of despair.

I intend to escape that well of grief, triumphantly climb out of it, and uncover the light that lay dormant within my soul.

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..

It was the dark void again.

And Kanashimi stood before Shinobu once again.

"Do you understand now? The futility of it all? That mortal beings are all doomed to the grief of death?" the demon states, confident in the end result.

She goes on, "The only way to truly resolve this, to truly be with your Tomioka Giyuu forever, is to become a demon."

"..." Shinobu didn't respond.

"Well? It's either immortality or I kill both you and the Water Hashira. Not too terrible of a choice, I would say."

The Insect Hashira then eyes her opponent with indignation, "I understand it all, indeed."

"Perfect, then we shall proceed with—"

"I understand that demonic immortality does not shield you from grief," Shinobu interrupts.

"What?"

"It actually plunges you into despair."

"Nonsense! Immortality is the key to fighting grie—"

Shinobu wasn't as patient and, therefore, interrupted once more: "Mortality is pitiful, yes. However, there is more to guaranteeing happiness than simply denying one's pathway to death. Grief is a natural state of life, it ensures our resiliency against—"

"SHUT UP!" Kanashimi aggressively reproached, "You clearly haven't learned a thing!"

"Now why would I be taking lessons from a demon," Shinobu merely smirked.

"So be it, you have just signed your death warrant."

Shinobu unsheathed her Nichirin Blade, "Oh dear, I suppose the negotiations failed. Well then, shall we get to the fun part?"

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WHY THE FUCK DID I WRITE THIS AT 3 AM. I'M SO FUCKING STUPID.

Anyways, hopefully the next update won't take an eternity. (and hopefully it's better than this chapter lol)