BLAKE

I looked down at the twins who were sleeping in their cots and I couldn't help but feel a sting of pain right through my heart.

I thought I had lost Ellie. I thought that she was dead and that I was going to have to do this all on my own. I haven't got a bloody clue what I'm doing and I certainly proved that when I ended up hitting Michael; now neither of the boys want to speak to me and Jayson is still in the hospital.

I am a terrible friend and I would have been an even worse father if I was left to do this alone. I need Ellie by my side but she keeps doing things which are going to get her killed one day and, when that day comes, I don't know what the hell I am going to do with my life - she was only gone nine days this time around and I could barely cope without her.

I loved both the twins. I really did love them and being a father is a dream come true. I had always wanted my own children so that I could give them all the things I never had and I could give them the life I never got when I was growing up, I wanted to be everything to them my own father wasn't to me, but it seemed like there was constantly something there which meant I was going to screw it all up.

I sighed to myself as I turned away from the twins and waked over to the bed. The bed which had been so empty without Ellie. The bed in which I had made love to my mate so many times. The bed which now seemed like it was nothing more than a bad memory which was better left forgotten than it was remembered.

I wanted the simple life back. I wanted the life where people weren't trying to kill Ellie and where they weren't trying to kidnap my children. I wanted the life where Nicole was a friend, a second mother, not the life where she was behind the plot to murder my mate because of the fact her son did a disappearing act. I wanted the life where I didn't know what Jayson had done and where Jackson was still young, still as innocent as the day he was born.

But everything was changing and it was changing far too quickly for me to be able to keep up with everything which was happening. There was a million different things all happening at the same time and there were another thousand things which were still to come.

"Blake?" I looked up to see Elliot and Jamie walking into the room. I could see from the looks on their faces that they were worried about me but they didn't need to be. I was tired and there is still only so much of Link a person can handle.

"Yes?" I sighed. I turned my attention back to the floor and I remember the night Ellie told me that she was pregnant. She had knelt down on the floor in front of me, taken my hands in her own, looked me in the eyes and told me that I was going to be a father. I will never forgot the tears which were in her eyes as she told me because she thought I was going to run off terrified.

"What happened downstairs? And, before you tell me it was nothing, I know you better than anyone else in this house. I am, after all, your sister," Jamie was the one who spoke up.

"Ellie said that she tried talking to you but you didn't want to listen to her. So, tell us, what the hell is going on with you Blake?" Elliot asked. You had to admire her straightforward attitude and the way she got straight to the point. Regardless of who she was talking to.

"Nothing," I muttered.

"Tell us the truth. I am worried about you Blake," Jamie sighed quietly as she sat on the bed beside me and wrapped her arm around my shoulder with her head against my arm. It had been so long since I spent any time with my sister that I almost forgot what it was like to be in her arms. She was my little sister and I had been ignoring her for my own selfish reasons.

I acted like I was the only one who had lost everything. But she had lost the same as me. She had also lost her older brother and I was all that she had left now but I was treating her like she was the enemy and it wasn't fair.

"Even the boys are asking for you," Elliot tried to lighten the mood with the mention of Daniel and Michael. But their names only served to remind me of what I had done to them earlier in the day.

"El spoke to them and explained what happened. Michael understands that you didn't mean to hurt him and Daniel understands that adult wolves get angry sometimes. Even Luca chipped in to explain it to the both of them," Jamie said. I wanted to tell them that it was useless. That I was useless.

But I didn't need them knowing what I was thinking. Or even what the hell I was feeling. Because I didn't understand either of them myself. All I knew was that I was a failure in every sense of the word and I was tired of being that.

I wanted to be something. I wanted to be someone the twins were proud of when they grew up. I wanted to be someone who was good enough to stand beside Ellie in everything she did. I wanted to be someone people looked up to rather than felt sorry for. I wanted to be everything that I wasn't and I don't even know why I was feeling this way.

"But I don't think this is about the boys. At least not directly," Eliot spoke when I still didn't say anything. Her pacing around the room was annoying the fuck out of me now and I wanted to shout at her but I kept it in instead. I didn't want to piss another one of my friends off.

"No. This is about me and the twins. This is about my recklessness and his inability to be a proper father if something should happen to me," I looked up to see Ellie leaning against the doorframe with her arms across her chest. I could see the hurt which was written on her face and the sadness in her eyes. "You really should remember to shut yours thoughts off. I've seen everything going through that head of yours."

"Let us just assume for a moment that something was to happen to Ellie, and you were left to bring up the twins alone, you must know that none of us would ever let you do it alone?" Jamie asked. But that was the problem. With everything which was currently happening, I didn't know whether I would have people there for me if I needed them, I didn't know whether they would leave me to deal with it all alone or if they would be there for me.

Elliot and Jackson were preparing for the arrival of their baby. Link and Jamie were slowly moving forward with their relationship and they were finally working through their differences. Luca was probably one of the lucky few who had another mate waiting for him out there somewhere but, until he found her, he had the boys to worry about. Jayson as good as hated me and he had his mother to worry about, he needed to decide what he was going to do about his relationship with her. And Bradley didn't know anything about me so he would be as good as useless if I needed him around.

They all had their own lives to deal with. They all had their own problems. I couldn't expect them to be there for me just because my mate had been stupid one too many times and pushed her luck further than it was ever going to go. I needed to accept that there was a chance, no matter how small a chance it was, that I was going to end up bringing the twins up alone.

"You all have your own lives to worry about. It wouldn't be fair of me to assume anything," I replied quietly. My eyes never left Ellie as I spoke and I watched her with an interest which surprised even myself.

"Blake, you're my brother and Ellie is Link's sister, we would never let you raise those twins alone is something was to happen to El. You need to know that we're always going to be here for you," Jamie said. I didn't need to look at her to know she was on the brink of tears but I couldn't help the thoughts which ran through my head on a daily basis; even my wolf was having a hard time understanding how we would cope if Ellie did lose her life.

"You and Link have your own problems. I wouldn't want to be the reason for more problems," I muttered.

"Look at me," Jamie demanded. I felt the shift on the bed as I turned my head so I was looking at her. She took hold of my hand in her own and looked me in the eyes as she said what she needed to tell me. "You have always been there for me. Now it's time for me to return that favour. You're not on your own and it's time that you stop thinking you are."

"You're talking about me like I'm already dead. I am standing right here," Ellie mumbled.

"It wouldn't surprise me if you ended up dead before the end of the year. The decisions you make don't just affect you, they also affect me, but it's almost like you never think of me when you make those decisions," I was almost in tears myself as the words came out before I could even filter them.

"I make the decisions I ma-"

"-For the good of the pack. I know. But you've got children who need you now and they're not going to get anywhere if their mother is dead before they even make it to their first birthday," I interrupted her. I knew she made the decisions she did for the good of the pack, there was no denying that she was an amazing Alpha, but she needed to remember that she had a family who needed her too.

She couldn't keep putting herself in danger just to save everyone else. I know that's the type of person that she was and it was one of the many things I loved about her. But I can't deal with thoughts of losing her and having to live my life without her by my side. She was my everything and there wasn't a single person in the world who would ever be able to replace her.

"I didn't know that's how you felt," Ellie replied quietly. She walked across the room and sat down on the bed on the other side of me. She took hold of the hand which Jamie wasn't holding and she put her head on my shoulder. I could feel her tears slightly staining the sleeve of my shirt but I didn't really care because I was finally getting through to her just how much her decisions impacted upon me and the twins. I loved her so much and I would do anything to make sure she lived another sixty or seventy years. "I never meant to hurt you. I just don't think and I want to help everyone. I guess I forgot that I had a mate and children who need me just as much as my pack need me."

"I, er, Jackson is calling me," Elliot called out quickly and she practically ran from the room. She almost tripped over her own feet and that made me chuckle slightly.

"Do you mind if I make an observation?" Jamie asked. I was surprised that she asked permission. She usually just opened her mouth and worried about the consequences of her actions much later.

"And what would that be?" I replied. I allowed my head to fall slightly to the side so that my cheek was resting on the top of Ellie's head and it felt wonderful being this close to her. It had been so long since I had been able to hold her that I had pretty much forgotten just how good it felt when I held her in my arms.

"The problem with you two isn't your actual relationship. Hell, everyone I know is envious of how perfect your relationship with each other is and wants what the two of you have together. The problem is your lack of communication with each other," Jamie shrugged. For a twenty-two year old, she really did speak more sense than most people my age, she had always been good at being able to decipher where the problem was - but I suppose that has something to do with the fact she spent three years of her life studying psychology. Not that she has used her degree for anything because she's been too busy trying to work on Link and their relationship with each other.

"And what would you suggest?" Ellie just about manage to smile at my sister. Ellie had never been one to shot down other people's opinions and she was always willing to listen to what they had to say.

"I think you should take some time off from being Alpha. Put Jackson and Elliot in temporary control of the pack and work on your relationship with Blake. The two of you need to spend time with the twins and I think you need to do it away from here. Take Luca with you, just so you have some defence if you need it, and leave both Jayson and Link as your temporary Beta and Third in Command," Jamie said like it was the simplest thing in the world.

"Doesn't taking Luca with us defeat the object of spending time with the twins?" Ellie managed to laugh as her grip on my hand tightened and she moved herself closer to me. I didn't miss the faint smile which was now on her face and I knew that she was going to take Jamie's suggestion which I was actually grateful for.

Spending some time away from the pack with just us and the twins was something we needed. Jackson was more than capable of being an Alpha for a couple of months and, if he happened to need help, I am sure Jayson wouldn't mind pointing him in the right direction where it's needed. It was times like this I loved my sister and I loved the friends I had, even if I was a stupid fool who thought I would be alone if Ellie was to leave me.

"It also gives you time to work on your relationship with your nephews. Those two love the both of you and there's still so much more you need to learn about each other," Jamie grinned proudly.

"My parents, well, David and Jayne, they had this little cottage on the outskirts of their territory and I am pretty sure it has just been gathering dust since then," Ellie suggested and I couldn't help the smile which covered my face now. This was happening. This was actually going to happen and it was going to be like we were a normal werewolf family for the time we were there.

"You should go after the weekend. I will move the party to this Saturday and you can go on the Sunday after you've introduced the pack to their future Alpha," Jamie clapped her hands together excitedly. She was like a child at Christmas and I did wonder what her mental age really was because I am sure Michael acted more mature than she did most of the time and he was eight. "Oh. So much to do and so little time in which to do it."

"I worry about you Jamie," I chuckled as she stood up from the bed and skipped across the room to the door while muttering things under her breath which needed to be done in the next four days.

"There's nothing to worry about brother dear. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a party to plan," Jamie grinned. She walked out of the room and closed the door behind her with a slam. I looked down at Ellie to see that she was already looking up at me with a smile on her face.

I wiped my thumb under her eyes to rid the skin of the tears which were sitting on her cheeks and smiled back at her as I placed a kiss on the tip of her nose without any hesitation. I was an idiot, I knew that, but it was impossible not to constantly think the worst when your mate was the Alpha of what had previously been one of the most hated packs in the country.

I was so in love with her that it would drive me crazy not to have her in my life. Whenever I think about a life without Ellie, it's the worst thought which can appear in my mind, because my heart feels empty and my life appears meaningless if I don't have Ellie here to share everything with.

"Will you be alright with the twins for an hour?" Ellie suddenly asked.

"Why?" I replied curiously.

"I need to see Nicole. I need to understand for myself."

I CAN DO NOTHING BESIDES APOLOGISE FOR THE FACT THIS HAS TAKEN TWO WEEKS FOR ME TO POST. I REALLY AM SORRY FOR MAKING YOU WAIT BUT I DO HOPE IT WAS WORTH THE WAIT.

I have just been so busy with everything that I literally haven't had the time to write this chapter until now. I do hope you enjoyed the interaction between Blake and Jamie though, I wanted to show a little more of their relationship since you've not really seen it or heard about it.

Anyway, at the top, you shall see the casts for the important characters in this book. I had a whole lot of help from @the_awesome_twosome with that list and this chapter is dedicated to @RocketMason because I promised you this chapter ages ago now and I have only just posted it.