~XXX~ – "Watch Your Back."

I envy humans.

They possess the ability to sleep, to close their eyes and forget the world they live in. Angels, we have no choice. We can talk to humans through dreams, sure, but that's as far as it goes.

To think, I actually miss sleeping, when all I did was fear it in my short time as a human.

Sam, for a while, had turned away from me. But now, he's lying across me, having his head nuzzled into my neck. Not the most usual after-sex position for sleeping, but I don't hate it. I don't move in case I accidentally wake him. Unlike me, he needs sleep. I smell like him just as he smells like me. Maybe I should put a claim on him, a warning for others to back off.

"Well, isn't this a peachy sight?" Ruby chimes softly. She emerges from the darkness. I hadn't even heard her or sensed her. I should have. "I missed out."

"I thought you would've watched like the pervert you are," I retort smartly, smirking.

"Hey, if you don't watch us, I don't watch you." She shrugs.

"Where've you been?"

"Trying to pick up more leads."

"You should have called for me, I would have come to help."

"Nah, some things I can handle on my own."

"Well, you don't look to be in pain, so I assume you didn't get yourself captured and tortured again."

"If I had, I would've called my angel to come retrieve me."

My angel. She makes it sound so endearing, when really it should have come out as a snarl or a growl.

"So...how was it?" She leans in, eyes twinkling with mischief.

"He, uh, wouldn't let me do much." I clear my throat awkwardly.

Ruby chuckles. "Now you know the feeling of being submissive."

I roll my eyes. "I prefer to be in control so that I know what's going on."

"Oh, I know you do." She slinks to the bed, touching my hair. "God, I don't know who I'm more jealous of."

"Well, I'm the better out of him and me." I hold my head.

Ruby pecks my mouth. "You sure are, feathers. No comparison."

I look down at Sam and his easy breathing. "I'm taking a leave from the Winchesters."

"Why?"

"Alona."

"Who?"

"My friend. She helped me get my Grace back. I found her earlier, murdered."

"Do you know who did it?"

"I have my theories, and they're not good. My bet is on Uriel, or one of his minions."

"Why him?"

"He's not directly aiding Lilith, but he's supporting her cause of freeing Lucifer."

"Well holy shit, that's a plot twist."

"Yeah, well, he's dead. So that rules Uriel out as a suspect—"

"No, it doesn't. He could have been the killer, V. So you just want to up and leave the Winchesters for a dead angel? You don't want to stop Lilith?"

"I still do," I retort. "I just...Alona has done a lot for me. To let her killer get away with this...I won't stand by and leave them faceless."

Ruby rubs her face. "Vera, you know who did it. It was that dickwad Uriel. If not him, someone who follows him. End of story. There's no reason to go digging."

"But what if it wasn't them? Ruby, you don't get it. She was my best friend, one of the most loyal angels that I knew. For her to just suddenly get murdered like that...I need to know the full story."

"Do you ever think that maybe going on that adventure will only hurt you more?"

I blink. "Since when are you trying to convince me to not pursue this? Wouldn't you be more 'go ahead, and I'll join you'?"

"Nice try. Just because we're cozy doesn't mean I'll snuggle up to every angel in Heaven. We need you in this fight. Don't put yourself on a path that gets you killed."

"Are you...worried for me?" My mouth parts a little in bewilderment.

"Look, the angels dicked you over, put wool over your eyes. We let you in on this alliance or whatever the hell this is. Of course I'll be a little concerned about you."

She's going soft. Of all the things to witness, this by far is a...miracle? "If you're worried, then why not help me?"

"Because Lilith is top priority, not your friend Elena."

"Alona," I correct her defensively. I squint. "You did that on purpose."

"Maybe, maybe not. Point is, feathers, you run that mission solo. I'll help with the Winchesters as much as I can. Besides, when I go and do my own thing, I don't expect you to come along, Watson."

I tilt my head. Watson? "If that's a reference, I don't get it."

Ruby sighs. "I know, it infuriates me yet it makes you more attractive at the same time."

"There's no filter on you, is there?" I quirk a smile on my mouth.

"Oh, honey, there is a filter. This is mild compared to what I could tell you. I'll, uh, leave you to your sleepover." She starts to back away. "If I find anything, you'll be the first to know."

"Ruby?"

"Yeah, feathers?"

"Watch your back."

She nods. "You do the same. Oh, and whatever you tell Sam, don't make promises you can't keep."

With those ominous words, Ruby disappears out of the motel room, and Sam moves closer against me. I glance down at him, my mind running. I'm feeling a sense of conflict. Initially, my mind was made up. I was leaving, no questions asked. But now...

Seeing Sam's peaceful, sleeping features is making this decision a lot more difficult. It's all that I focus on, even as the sun begins to peek light into the room. The higher it gets, the more I know my time with Sam Winchester is growing shorter. I want to at least let him see me before I go on my hunt.

"You didn't leave," Sam notes sleepily.

I chuckle. "I'm many things, Sam, but rude is not one of them. I wouldn't leave you alone like that."

"I'm grateful for it."

I frown. "But I do need to take my leave."

I feel Sam's body tense against mine. "You don't need to do this, Vera."

"I do." At this, I wiggle. Sam allows me to move, and I hoist the sheet up around me. "Besides, you have Dean, and Bobby, and even Ruby. You have allies other than me in this. You've worked just fine without me in the picture before, you can survive a little while without me. Hey," I touch his cheek, feeling a pang when I see his eyes grow big and soft, "if you really need me in a life or death situation, I swear to you, here and now, that I will come when you call."

Sam snorts a laugh. "There's a very bad innuendo in there somewhere. I can't convince you to stay?"

"No, you can't. You have your duties, I have mine."

"But that's not a duty, Vera."

"It is to me. I know that if either you or Dean died, the other would roam the ends of the earth to find who was responsible. That's how I feel with Alona. She's someone I care about, Sam. You must understand what I'm telling you."

I see the reluctance in his eyes. "I do." He sighs heavily, running his hair back with his hand. "You swear you'll come if I ask for you?"

"If it's a matter of life and death," I remind him. "Not for some menial thing."

Sam purses his lips. "Alright." He holds his hand out. Eyeing it oddly, I take it and shake it. With a swift tug, he pulls me down, and instead of our mouths touching, it's our foreheads, and our noses. I feel dull pain compared to Sam, who groans rather loudly.

"You did it," I scold him. He smacks me with a pillow, and the second time around, I block the attack with my arm. "If you would stop, we can try again."

Sam stops, and we find ourselves kissing in the bed, no more than that. It seems that time slows when our mouths are together. I don't want to leave him, but I must. I need to avenge Alona. This will be for her. I'll come back to him. I will.

"You know I'm gonna worry about you," Sam breathes.

"Why bother?" I snort. "I am an Angel of the Lord. I can handle my own just fine." Briskly, I gather my articles of clothing and put them on, all while fully aware of Sam's ever-watchful gaze in the bed. I clear my throat. "I'll bring you back to Bobby's, and then I'm gone. So, please, dress, unless you want to scar your brother and the man who lets you stay in his house. I may enjoy the sight, but I doubt they will."

"Oh, so you did like what you saw, huh?"

I roll my eyes playfully. "It would be a lie to say that I didn't."

When I make sure Sam is fully dressed, I pull us out of the motel room and back inside of Bobby's kitchen.

"Sam!" comes Dean's voice as he comes barreling from the study. "Where the hell were you, man? Bobby and I woke up to see you were gone. We thought something got you."

"Don't be ridiculous, nothing would abduct just one hunter," I sass Dean.

"Where...I don't think I want to finish that question. Hey, Vera."

I nod towards the eldest Winchester. "Just brought Sam back so you can quit your frantic panic."

"I wasn't...we weren't..."

"Uh-huh."

"Wait, you're...you're scramming on us?"

"Alona was murdered last night. The angel you thought needed to get 'her panties untwisted and her hair down'." Dean's face lights up in recognition. "I'm going to see if I can find her killer. I trust you won't get yourselves killed in the meantime."

"Hey, with how things are going, that's not a guarantee."

I scowl. "I'm not sure if you're serious or trying to insult me."

"Well, thanks for bringing Sam back, Vera. Good luck on your...vendetta."

"Good luck to you on stopping Lilith if I don't rejoin you before then." I look to Sam. "Remember what I told you."

"Life or death, call. Otherwise, don't," Sam recites to me.

"Good." My shoulders slump. "Well, I guess this is goodbye for now. Until later, Winchesters."

"Wait," Dean cuts in just as I'm about to disappear. "Where are you even gonna start?"

"I'll figure it out. I'll start with demons, see if they know anything, and then I'll go from there. I've got a plan, Dean."

"Doesn't sound solid to me."

"You're not involved, so your opinion doesn't matter." I raise my head up. "As I was saying, I will see you later."

I vanish before Dean or Sam can interrupt my focus again.

**Alas, Samvera is on break while our baby goes to find Alona's killer.

Theories as to who killed Alona?**