XXI – Weapons Lesson

"We can't guarantee us staying for very long, we get at least a case a day. If we're on the road, we're on it for quite a bit," Sam tells me.

We're in the library of Bobby's house. The owner is on a hunt of his own, as it's just the Winchesters and I in the house. My wound from the motel room is stitched up and covered in patchwork. It's an awful reminder of my vulnerability. I don't like it.

"We made sure to write our numbers for you in case something comes up," says Dean, pointing to the piece of paper in front of me. "There're phones in the kitchen you can use to get a hold of us."

"And if I can't use the phone for any reason?" I ask.

"Then you hold out until you can get a hold of us somehow. Or use your angel pal to let us know."

"I don't think Alona will be helping me any longer." I scowl.

"You two get in a fight?"

"You could say that."

"Well, we're not going anywhere for now," Sam says, changing topics. "So, just make yourself comfortable, I guess. Just...try not to touch anything that looks like it shouldn't be touched."

"Does he have magical objects just lying around in the open?" I look around. "That's hardly smart."

I start to get accustomed to life as a human, as irritating as it is. My wound aches when I move, so I try not to as much so I don't aggravate it. I take a tour of the place, inside and out. I spend a lot of the time outside, admiring the rusting vehicles. Running my fingers along the dusty hoods. Taking note of the paint scratches and flat tires. If I'm human for a long time, maybe they'll teach me how to drive. I don't think the Winchesters would trust me with the black car they've got now.

Alona...I don't know what's gotten into you, but, please...my Grace, I want it back. I swear to you that it will the last favor I ever ask of you. I find it hard to believe that you have really turned your back on me. I look skyward, as though she'll give me a response. If anything, she'd probably give me a nasty one.

My mind thinks up another person who could probably help me. I doubt she will. What we shared that night...I'm still confused about the night with Ruby. It's hard to explain what she is to me. We shared a bed, and a night, together. She's also shared a bed with Sam, too.

It's really confusing.

"Hey."

I turn around to find Sam walking towards me. "Hi."

"Admiring the junkers?"

"I guess." I glance around. "It's a vehicle graveyard, these poor things."

"They've seen better days. You okay, Vera?"

"I'm...Truthfully, I don't know if I am, Sam." A gentle breeze picks up. "All of this, what's happening...it's almost overwhelming. To fall like I have...It's demeaning. I don't want being human to take me out of this fight. But since I can't know about future seals that have the potential to be broken, I guess I have to hold out and hope that somehow I can still do my part. Even if it means running around with you and Dean."

"How's your side?"

"Hurting, but not like before."

"When you passed out, we thought you were dead."

"Good thing I wasn't, right?" I tease.

"Real good thing. What kind of weapon did you have in mind using?"

"Any kind that I can get my hands on. Why?"

"Well, we might not let you use it properly, but we can show you its parts." Sam pulls a weapon out from behind him and puts it in my hands. "It's a gun. You shoot it. You don't swing it, don't throw it, unless a time calls for it." He chuckles. "So far there hasn't been one. It fires bullets that are in here." He shows the home of the bullets and then loads the gun. "Firing it will have some kickback, so it'll be a little uncomfortable until you get a feel for it."

"Why can't I try now? My arm isn't the thing that hurts. See?" I wiggle both arms. "Vera..."

"If you delay my learning, I can't have a chance of defending myself."

He sighs. "Alright. Let's get you some targets."

I remain outside, testing the weight of the gun, while Sam goes to get my targets. When he returns, Dean is walking beside him.

"Eager beaver, eh?" Dean asks me. He and Sam set up the targets—they look like empty bottles—on the hoods of some of the vehicles. They pull me back a bit so there's a good distance between myself and the targets. "Okay, show us your stance, Vera."

I tilt my head, confused. My stance? What was that supposed to even mean?

"Right, forgot. You're not fluent in human. Here." Dean is at my side. "Both hands on the gun. Make sure the safety is off. Eyeball it. Don't sweat it if you miss."

"You might want to stand back a bit then," I tell him seriously. Dean steps away, near Sam, while the two watch me line up the shot.

When I fire the weapon, I nearly drop it from the rough impact, and the loud noise. There's a new noise in my ears—it's some sort of ringing. I shake my head, but the noise is still there.

"You good, Vera?" asks Sam. But his voice sounds like it's in a tunnel.

"What was that?" I ask loudly.

"Did your hearing become human too?"

"What?"

"It'll go down, the ringing. You get used to it."

"You've been near us with guns before, Vera," Dean tells me. "Don't know why it took you off guard."

I don't know why it got the best of me either. It must be because of my involuntary fear of knowing that normal things can hurt me now.

After the ringing in my ears dissipates a bit, I try a few more times. Bullets skid off the hood of the car, and I duck as soon as I hear the noise, afraid I'll get struck.

"Oh boy, we got a gun-shy one," Dean groans.

"I'm trying my best!" I say.

"Maybe guns aren't your thing," says Sam, who shrugs. "That's okay. We've got other things too. Things that don't make loud noises."

"Like what?"

"Follow us," says Dean.

The Winchesters lead me to the back of their car, where they open it. There's a hidden compartment, to which Dean pulls up. I gasp in awe as I take in all of the weapons these two hunters have. The collection is astounding.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Dean jokes with me.

"It's something," I agree. "So, which ones don't make noise?"

* * *

"Hold still," I say to the brothers.

Once the Winchesters introduced me to weapons more of my caliber, I got used to their weights. Naturally, Dean talked a bit too cockily about his skills with a blade. I threw him a challenge, and Sam decided to join in.

So now, here we are, in the kitchen of Bobby's house, with me mending the brothers' injuries. They had overestimated me. They'd seen me in action. They must've thought just because I was human that meant I lost my ability to fight.

They were gravely mistaken.

"We can do this ourselves. We do it all the time," Dean insists.

"It's the least I can do since I'm the cause of the injuries. Luckily, they're minor." I smooth the bandage on Dean's forehead. The cut I put on it will heal, no scarring. If I had my powers, I could heal them no problem. "Next time you'll know better than to challenge an angel at combat."

Dean looks about ready to say something, but Sam throws his elbow at him before Dean can open his mouth.

"Alright, you're free to go," I tell Dean. He looks more than happy to leave the kitchen.

"I'm gonna run out for some grub."

"Why do you eat bugs?" I ask.

"Grub means food, Vera."

I blush. "Sorry."

"It's alright, you're still new to the human lingo."

"Always will be new," I mutter to myself as I clean Sam's wound on his arm.

"Guess you were right," the younger Winchester tells me. "You're a badass."

"I didn't say 'badass', I said good fighter. Your brother said 'badass'. But he's not wrong." I smile.

"You'll do just fine, Vera. You just gotta be a little more careful is all."

"This doesn't hurt, does it?"

"Nope."

"Good." I sigh loudly. "If I had my Grace, this would be easier."

"No worries. We're used to healing from worse. This is nothing."

"If you say so." I had cut Sam pretty good on his arm, his gash had oozed blood. "Here, put this on it. Let me work on your forehead next." Sam takes the bandage from me, and I begin to work on his forehead. It's a little deeper than Dean's is. "It's no wonder why you don't play fight."

"We've gotten into actual fights and come out way worse."

"I believe it." My eyes drop from his forehead and into his eyes. I see the flecks of green in the hazel, how alluring that they are. There's a stray few hairs that are aggravating him; he's trying to blow them away. I chuckle, moving them behind his ear. My hand stays there.

I take a long look at Sam Winchester. He doesn't avoid the eye contact, he maintains it. It doesn't feel awkward, like one of us should look away. I tilt my head in thought, seeing a man not ruled by his psychic abilities. I see a boy's eyes on a man who never got the chance to properly be a child. It's a sad thing to observe.

Our foreheads touch. He sighs through his nose, and my hand is combing through his hair, which is very soft. I feel him relax under my touch. Why was he stressed in the first place? This is the calmest I've seen him ever be. He's not the reckless man who wanted to die at the hands of Lilith because his brother was in Hell.

I see conflict in his eyes. Like there's a battle going on inside of him, and I'm unsure of which side is winning. He's not in pain, is he?

"Sam?" I ask quietly.

"Mm?"

"Is something wrong?"

"No."

We find ourselves leaning in, and our lips softly touch. It's shy and comfortable. His injuries are forgotten about, Dean who is getting food is forgotten about. I'm waiting for something to ruin the moment, but nothing does.

What is going on with me?

"That...wasn't intentional?" I say slowly, feeling my mouth tingle still.

"You don't know if you wanted to kiss me or not?" he teases me. "What, we say you fell and your mouth just happened to touch mine?"

"That's not funny, Sam." I snort.

"Hey. Don't be embarrassed. You're embracing your emotions. It's scary, but it's okay. I...I didn't want to try anything because I wasn't sure..."

What's happened here has opened up something even bigger. "You feel something?"

"I wouldn't be telling you this if I didn't, now, would I?" He offers me a soft smile.

"No...I guess you wouldn't." I shake my head slowly. "I can't explain it, how I feel connected to you. I just do, if that makes any sense." This vulnerability I'm feeling, it terrifies me. "These emotions...I know they cloud my judgement, but some things are clearer with them now. I've put the world aside."

I have to practically lean backwards as Sam kisses me again. I feel him anchor his hand in my hair, tugging a bit. Ah, so he's got a passionate spirit. There are tells about a person, and I know that the hair pulling isn't a heat-of-the-moment thing. His inner animal is peeking through, and he's being kept in check.

The boy with the demon blood and an Angel of the Lord. What a polar opposite pairing. A polar opposite pairing that doesn't feel wrong at all. But then I think about what I just thought. I'm no longer an angel. I'm human.

And then I think about someone: a demon. Ruby.

The confusion is back again.

When we hear a loud door slam, Sam and I pull apart. Dean was awful fast with the food. We quickly resume acting normal by the time Dean walks in.

"You guys hungry?"

As Dean shuffles and puts the bags on the table, Sam and I remove the medical supplies and go put them away. As we do, he corners me into a wall and kisses me again. My heart is sent a flutter, which is another scary feeling. This isn't from fear, at least, I don't think it is.

It's from exhilaration. 

**Human!Vera or Angel!Vera?

P.S. The Samvera ship has sailed with a kiss!

Bit of a ship conflict now, eh? Yes? No? Maybe?**