( THE END OF THE BEGINING ! )

( EPILOGUE )

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DEAN DID NOT FEEL COMPLETED OR FULLFILLED. Maybe it was difficult to feel like that after everything he went through, he needed time. (But he knew this was a lie he told himself.) Because maybe, he would never feel like that, that content and whole- one of his pieces was missing. Dean was never going to be the same without Sam, it was how it was.

Still, he was finding out that feeling happy had nothing to do with that. The ache in his heart was never going to stop, missing Sam was never going to get easy. However after accepting that, he felt relieved.

It was hard to believe but everyone deserved to let go sometimes, bad things were not going to go away as a miracle but he got to breathe now.

He got to be happy from time to time.

Even in terrible situations, Sam and Dean had used to find something to have fun with, they usually picked on each other, did stupid pranks or bickered like siblings do. So in a way, Dean always knew people got to be happy even when life was kicking their asses.

Now, he got to experience to its full extent.

His heart was aching for Sammy but he was also happy at that moment, missing Sam did not change that.

"Are you even listening to me Dean?"

Dean chuckled at the harsh tone, rolling his eyes at the small boy. "No need to be so tough on me buddy, I'm sorry," Dean said with a small smile.

Ben glared at him for a moment but sighed in defeat, the kid could never stay angry when someone apologized to him. "Its fine. What were you thinking about?"

"Nothing," he answered quickly. "I mean, nothing in particular."

Ben stared at his face and nodded, as if he understood completely. He was a strange kid sometimes, acting all wise and mature. That's why he almost chocked on his own spit when Ben asked the next question.

"Are you and uncle Nathan going to marry soon?"

His jaw was dropped and his eyes went comically wide. It was not as if they were hiding anything but still, they have been taking it slow. At least when there was other people around. Years of denial towards his sexuality was not easy to over come and public display of affection
was still on shaky grounds for Dean.

(Affection in their own house was a different story though.)

"No. No marriage in the near future kiddo."

"Why?" Ben asked, sounding confused. "My mom says that when people love each other so much, they might want to get married. You don't love Nathan?"

"Of course I do," Dean replied without thinking it much. Huh. Things that he was not able to admit to himself fully was easier when he was admitting it to a little kid. "Its just... sometimes relationships need time. In this case, both of us need time to adjust to our new lives. Besides, you don't have to marry the person you love, not necasserily."

Ben smiled, he still looked thoughtful but not confused anymore, Dean smiled back.

Simultaniously the front door opened, Nathan and Lisa stepping inside with groceries at hand, chatting about something with occasional laughter. Dinner on Thursdays, it was a tradition by now, something Dean could get used to.

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NATHAN DID NOT FEEL BROKEN OR INCOMPETENT. Yet, he did not feel completed either.

Being a human and not having an option to change that fact was knew to him. Witjout his grace, he was an angel turned human for the time being. But now, it was all gone. Before, he had a sense of idintity conflinct because a part of him was always going to miss his wings. It was what he was, being an angel was a part of his purpose. Lately, he had been trying to find new meanings, a new purpose.

A part of him was always going to be missing, he was not going to miss Nathaniel, not exactly but he could not just turn his back on what he was completely either. Some days, he saw Gabriel, Lucifer or Michael in his dreams, some of them felt too real to be just dreams. He was always going to be haunted by his past and by his family. By the things he had lost.

Nevertheless, he had Dean, and sometimes it was all that mattered.

It was odd to have someone, not as a possesion or something that you own but someone who has your trust completely. Someone you can rely on, someone you can turn up to, someone who felt like home. It was never easy when it came to Dean Winchester  but it was good, always.

Even when Dean got moody sometimes, locking himself up in his thoughts filled with the past. Even when Nathan felt irritable and snapped at little things. Even when their old lives creeped in and they let themselves be pulled back into their old ways (occasional hunter life was not that bad anyway). They both had their own demons, sometimes quite literally, and they both respected the other's space.

As Nathan laid on the couch, mostly on top of Dean, he felt content. It was a typical Thursday night, going to dinner at Lisa and Ben's and then feeling too tired to do anything else besides watching TV until they fell asleep.

Nathan was rather found of this routine, and Lisa and Ben (though kids were still a bit hard to get used to). He was also amused by the way Dean acted around them especially Ben, softer than usual. After everything they've been through, Dean still surprised him with the way he acted.

Dean was moving his hand up and down on Nathan's back, circling absentmindedly which was calming, yet Nathan's breath hitched when Dean's fingers brushed passed the place once had his wings attached.

"Sorry," Dean muttered, knowing how sensitive Nathan was about it.

It was more than the physical aspect though. It was how Lucifer burned his wings and the phantom of that pain lingered. Still, he managed to pull himself together and rested his chin on Dean's chest, his legs were dangling off of the couch due to his height. "Its okay."

Dean smiled back, staring into his eyes with that look he used to give even when Nathan was pretending to be human. A look filled with slight adoration, disbelief and kindness.

He kissed him then, slowly, without heat behind it.

Nathan liked kissing, just the act of it on its own. He liked it when it was leading to something else, oh, he liked it a lot when it was just that. Exploring the human body was way more fun than he could imagine and in a sentimental way, Dean was also figuring himself out being with a man so they were in that together.

At the same time, he just liked kissing sometimes. It felt too raw and charged with emotions when it was soft and slow. It was an act of intimacy, something he could only imagine sharing with Dean.

Dean pulled Nathan on to his lap and Nathan obeyed, the two moving on the couch until they found a comfortable spot, working together with practiced ease. They could've gone on forever, Nathan even forgot about how sleepy he was. Unfortunately, things did not last forever and Dean's phone rang, the only hunter phone that he hadn't throw aeay just in case.

Dean groaned, showing his annoyance but still tapped Nathan's arm for him to get up and Nathan did, even though he didn't want.

"Rufus? Yeah, I'm up. Yes, we'll be there. Bobby is alright? Okay, we'll hurry up..."

Nathan flopped down on the couch to rest his eyes for a moment. It was time to get some action and not the kind he would've want at the moment.

It was their life though, and most days it got as normal as it could get. With Lisa and Ben as their neighbours, with Dean's work as a mechanic and Nathan had been working in a restaurant, they were sometimes just like an ordinary couple.

Yet, they were always going to be a former hunter and a former angel. That was okay too, they had managed to save the world once, they could manage this too.

THE END.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

thank you. to everyone who supported me through this book, i couldn't have done it without you. i'm talking about those people who commented regularly and encouraged me, messaged me to tell me that they liked the story or just let me know they were enjoying once in a while with a sweet comment. thank you <3

to everyone that showed their support in one way ot another, i hope you enjoyed this ride. it was an interesting journey for me too and i had so much fun with it.

IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS, ASK AWAY.

i might answer on this chapter or if there is a handful of questions, i might post a separate chapter.

for the time being this is a goodbye since there will not be a sequel to this but perhaps a spin off one day. (i have an idea for a sam story but if i write it, nathan and dean will just be in the background). anyways, no promises on that, archive thia book and/or follow me to know when (if) that happens!

for the last time, let me know what you think! also, shameless self promo, maybe check out the other book i'm writing about peter parker?

take care!!