( CHAPTER FOURTEEN ! )

(  FOREHEAD OR CHEEK KISSES  )

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The best quality of Satan was that he loved monologuing.

He was disturbingly unstable to the point in some fleeting moments, Nathan could see Lucifer, almost like young man who had severe daddy issues and insecurities. Sometimes he saw the harmless playfullness or some type of emotion. He was more than a simple demon, he was complex and he was hard to figure out.

However, as always, Lucifer was intense. His mood changed from the simplest things, he laughed with tears in eyes or shouted words when he was feeling joyful. (It was rather human of him to be this emotional but Nathan was not going to say that to him.)

Nathan didn't understand one thing though. Why was he still alive?

Because clearly, his dear older brother was not ready to welcome him with open arms. Nathan thought that he would get tired of it all in a few day since torturing the same individual must have been a bit boring at least.

Lucifer was creative.

The most painful physical aspect of the process was Nathan's wings. Lucifer had burned them and picked them apart, to the point there was nothing left of it behind.

"You get it now, don't you Nathaniel? Feel like the fallen one yet?" He had cried only then. Wings were the sacred part of an angel, he felt lost a little, Lucifer had tears in his eyes as well, interesting.

Nathan endured it all, tried to keep him as occupied as he can. Gave him useless informations and listened to his every word carefully. He still had hope, it was a faint flame inside but he just waited to ignite it. He tried to remember every detail for the future. If he could escape from this hell on earth, he was going to be useful.

Somedays, it wasn't that bad, physically. Those days destroyed him worse because Lucifer messed with his thoughts, messed with his feelings. He was so unstable that sometimes Nathan wondered, how is the most powerful of us all? How is he this dangerous?

But his instability made him more dangerous perhaps. He was unpredictable. At least he was talkative when he was angry. He told Nathan a lot, some of them was nonsense and some of them was useful. Nathan listened to them all and did his best to hear more.

"I had a strange dream a few months ago, Lucy. You told me that I was just like you, wanting to rebel but feeling scared. Maybe you're right and you should be proud of me! I'm doing something chosing you as my tormentor instead of Michael."

"Why?"

"At least coming from you, I feel like I deserve it."

It was the only thurthful thing he had said to him. Even with his destroyed wings, even with the humiliation and the pain he felt, Nathan did feel guilty. He hadn't done anything to help Lucifer back then. He was not going to help him this time either, there was no going back.

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When he felt another presence other than Lucifer's, he thought he was dreaming. Then he thought Lucifer had finally was bored of torturing him or chatting with him. (Nathan almost felt emphatic, he was the Devil and he had no one to talk to or no one to trust to the point a brother who had betrayed him, a prisoner of his, was his only option to have talk).

It was neither, when he recognized the other person stepping inside his cell.

"Oh come on," Nathan muttered bitterly. "I searched for you for days and now you come willingly?"

Gabriel rushed to his side and his usual cocky attidute was gone, he almost looked geniunly worried but Nathan was having a hard time believing him.

"You fucking idiot!" Gabriel hissed. Was not the reaction Nathan was expecting. "I told Dean the truth so you would stay away and Dean would play his part peacefully. Not for you to become Satan's punching bag. For the love of father, what were you thinking?"

Gabriel was breaking the chains tied around his wrist as he bickered and Nathan had a lot to say but he was really, really tired. "At least I'm doing something. Not running and hiding like you," he bit back with his last ounce of power.

When the chains that were holding up was gone, he slumped forward, having a diffculty standing up by himself. Gabriel held him up and it must be an odd sight to see, Gabriel's vessel was tiny compared to him yet so strong like his personality.

Nathan realized that he was over his anger at his brother or maybe it was the tiredness.

The rest was blurr, how they got or how many demons Gabe killed without breaking a sweat. The first thing he asked after they got out was about his wings. Nathan had a strange sense that Gabriel knew, maybe he was able to see his wings. He wasn't sure how much the archangel was capable off.

They were in a sketchy looking motel in no time, Nathan flopping down on the bed in an instant It been awhile since something soft had touched his skin.

"I had been dealing with the Winchesters and Castiel because of you. They had been following me like lost puppies since they found out about my identity, bugging me about finding you and all. Tell me brother, how did you make it up to the short angry one, he was about to get himself killed to get to you! "

Nathan listened to Gabriel rant with his eyes closed, trying to enjoy the moment as his body started to heal since he was out of the chains that kept hşm from healing properly. "Dean is not the short one. You're the short one."

"Nathaniel," Gabriel sighed and as Nathan peeked at the man, he saw that he was pinching his nose dramatically. "You did something incredibly stupid and irrational even for your standards. Which are really low. And now I've to take care of your lost and kicked puppies because of course, they're in danger again. You sure now how to pick 'em."

Nathan tried to sit up, he managed but with lot of groaning and it took time. "Winchesters are in danger?"

Gabriel rolled his eyes at him, again, rather dramatically. "You're not helping, I'll handle it. You take this and give it to the Winchesters when you wake up."

Gabriel dropped an old looking tape on his lap titled Casa Erotica. His head was already hurting and the confusion made it worse and he looked at Gabe's face with furrowed brows and a frown. "Why did you save me? Why are you doing this?"

Nathan was mostly prepared for the archangel to crack a joke or dodge his quesiton completely but he sighed, his face softening for a moment. "I feeldome kind of a responsibilty towards you. And I hate it. I hope I can get rid of it after saving your ass and your pets'."

Nathan chuckled and Gabriel smirked, it had been centuries since Nathan had felt this close to his brother. "Thank you Gabe. But I want to come as well," Nathan said, trying to stand on his feet. "By the way, what did you mean by when you wake up?"

"Sorry, Nate. Catch you later," Gabriel winked and snapped his fingers. Everything went black.

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When he woke up, there was a note on his chest, next to the weird tape Gabriel had given him.

don't die xoxo

Such a heartfelt note, classic Gabriel.

Nathan sprung into action but everything took time with his wings unavailable. The adress was leading him to another hotel near by and Nathan did not have a solid plan when he barged in through the doors, just following his gut.

He found a few dead people around which was concerning and that concern only grew as he recognized one of the dead bodys as a nordic God. What the hell was going on?

He heard footsteps approaching and he moved there, picking up a random sword he found on the ground, probably belonging to one of the dead Gods. As he saw a wide door around the corner, three figures came in sight.

It didn't took much to recognize them, at least the two of them. He relaxed in an instant, they were okay, but judging by their frantic movements they were not okay yet.

"We gotta get out of here. Now," Dean said firmly, but grabbing Nathan's arm in a gentle manner.

Nathan nodded, eyeing an unfamiliar woman standing next to them but stopped simultaneously when he heard Gabriel's voice.

"They are better then us brother, those little apes. I see it now, Nathaniel had always seen it perhaps."

Then he heard Lucifer's voice.

It made him shiver, at least he would've in a human form. But he felt cold and he felt panic rising inside him. Sam was already ushering the woman out but Dean was still tugging on his sleeve as Nathan tried to walk to the opposite direction.

"We can't help him, he is on his own."

Nathan shook his head and wanted to go inside, almost having a good look at the fight inside. "I can't leave him-"

"Nate! We have to go, please," Dean tried one more and Nathan sensed urgency in his voice.

A part of him knew they didn't stand a chance anyway.

They rushed to the exit but before they were out, Nathan heard that voice, it was like a high pitched sound for humans but it broke his heart. It was the sound of an angel blade being put to use and there was no doubt in his heart that it was Gabriel that had tasted the sharp end of the blade.

Dean continued to drag him and he just gave up control, feeling numb all of a sudden. He didn't even feel the pain of his wings. He didn't even let himself fully acknowledge it until they were in somewhere safe, some other motel room with Sam.

The three of them watched the tape together and Nathan felt like a human as he saw Gabriel's face on the screen, grief and guilt running through his vessel.

They listened to Gabriel's intstructions regarding the horsemen of the apocalypse, the rings and the cage. Nathan was all familiar to those by now since Lucifer was pretty noisy when he was torturing.

"I know how to get to Death. I know a few things that might be helpful." At least he had somethings to bring to the table.

Then Nathan explained the way Gabriel came to his rescue and did not go into detail about his time with the Devil. After that, they decided to call it a day, its been a long one anyway. Sam excused himself pretty quickly to take the room next door, Dean and Nathan were by themselves once more.

"Are you okay?"

Nathan nodded with a practiced ease but when he looked at Dean's eyes it was hard to pretend. "Not really," he said truthfully. "Its a war though, that shouldn't be a surprise. It still stinks, and it still hurts. I think Gabriel cared in his own weird way and I did too."

"In your own weird way, right?"

Nathan nodded at that feeling exposed and vulnurable infront of Dean. "I'm glad that you're okay, Dean. And I know its hard to trust me but I will do my best to keep you and essentially earth, safe. I'm ready to be your soldier if you'd like me to be," Nathan said, smirking a little but his eyes still held sadness and Dean knew that. "I started all this, trying to gain your trust, just because I didn't want to follow orders. I did it all to not become a soldier but I will follow you. It about beliving in a cause I guess, I hope you appreciate the irony."

Dean scoffed at that, shaking his head  a little. "Its good to see that your angelic side also has a sense of humor. I admit I expected you to be more... holy and angel-like. But you are just-"

"Just Nathan, I try to be."

There was so much to talk about, too much to explain. But Dean looked like he hadn't slept properly in days and Nathan could really use some time to heal properly, though he doubted his wings would ever achive full recovery. A small price to pay.

Nathan touched Dean's cheek slowly, his slender fingers meeting with the slight stuble of Dean's. He smiled a little when the man didn't pull away or flinch, just looking dumbstruck with wide eyes. "It was real, what we use to have. At least for me," he said.

He leaned into give Dean a kiss on the cheek, feeling the hitch in Dean's breath made him feel warm a little. "See you tomorrow."

He left like that, to send Sam back to his brother and to give them both space, when all he wanted was to be close to Dean, seek his warmth, compassion and kindness.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

gabriel's death breaks my heart, even after watching s13 lol i love him.

anyways, one last chapter, chuck makes a cameo, and it follows the finale of season 5!

let me know what you think!!