( CHAPTER EIGTH ! )

( SLOW DANCING )

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They had a routine now.

With Nathan's lie about being a student was no longer needed, he was free to do nothing and get to be honest about that as well. He spent his days in libraries reading about things that might come in handy in the future or spent his days in his house reading and watching stuff just for his entertaintment.

That was also new, Nathan got to do stuff for himself now.

A sense of a bigger picture was not as persistant as before ever since he had learnt that Castiel was helping him with this lie. At the eyes of other angels, he was an ordinary human still and he wanted to let go for just a little while.

He was getting sloppy and he was slacking and he had never been more content in his entire existence.

In between his exploring humanity quality time there was Dean Winchester, of course. They sometimes talked on the phone or texted, Dean would drop by or would want to meet for some cheeseburgers while he was around. It was funny how Dean had been being honest with him, without actually telling the truth. More and more he had been opening up, becoming talkative and at ease around Nathan, telling stories about his recent cases (and masking the hunter stuff with his FBI lie was pretty clever on Dean's part and Nathan admired how creative he was).

Its been nearly two weeks since he had last seen Dean though, and he had been feeling out of place a little. From the day they met, Nathan had been careful with not pursuing Dean very openly, at least he had tried to not to be the one who always wanted to meet. That would've been suspicious, he usually waited for Dean to ask for his presence. However that feeling, he was not famliar with, was bugging him.

So one day when he woke up from an unsettling nightmare, all he wanted was Dean by his side. After spending sometime just going over what he had seen in his dream (it was a strange concept, dreams) he couldn't help but see a complex meaning behind it all.

It was odd for a nightmare since he had seen a time where Lucifer was still Lucifer, being his impulsive and agrassive yet endlessly charming self. It was a time where Gabriel and Lucifer let Nathaniel tag alone sometimes (usually the oldests didn't pay much attention to the young) and when he woke up, it felt like it was a nightmare because he had been filled with a sense of longing and a strange ache in heart.

He couldn't stand thinking over the past and the need to just hear Dean's voice was getting irressitable, he called him with one goal in mind.

"Dean, there is something odd going on, I need your help." Okay, maybe too blunt for an opening.

"Are you okay?" Dean replied instantly, with worry in his tone.

"Yes, yes, I am fine," Nathan said, there was no need to make the man anxious. "Its just that... I'm feeling out of place and I feel restless when I think of you. I want to see you, but we already keep in touch. I want to see you in person though, and its a strong and strange desire. What is this?"

There was a silence on the other end of the line and Nathan could hear his steady breathing for a moment. Then something he did not expected happened, Dean chuckled- he was usually pretty business-like on the phone. "You're such an idiot."

"Why? You know what this is?"

"You want me to say it? Such a cheeky bastard," Dean muttered. Now Nathan was confused and curious. "Fine. I miss you too."

Oh, that was what it is. It made sense and it was rather... interesting. Nathan had never missed anyone or anything before, not like this. He should've been repulsed by it, or scared or concerned but he liked it as he smiled openly even when Dean wasn't able to see it.

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Nathan was nervous. He was actually nervous, as human as he can get, as he stood outside of Dean's motel room.

It was as if stepping inside a space Sam Winchester had been was wrong, as if Dean was the only one who could accept Nathan, as if he was the only one who was able to come close to him.

At least Dean had made it clear that his brother was not going to be present. He was vague about it on the phone but at this point, Nathan was able to pick up the distress in Dean's voice. He was getting quite good at reading between the lines, especially when it came to Dean. (Honestly, he hadn't tried it on other people anyway.)

He pushed the Sam Winchester anxiety back into his mind and knocked on the door.

His lips curled upwards involuntarily at the sight of Dean with his night clothes, he was used to seeing him with so many layers that seeing him in a basic t-shirt was strange.

"You look good officer," Nathan taunted.

"I'm in my pijamas."

"I kinda like your usual layer on top of layer look, like an onion," that earned him a frustrated sigh and an eyeroll from Dean, "this is a nice change though. You should show more skin more often," he concluded with a wink.

"Stop objectifiying me."

"I would never," Nathan replied. His eyes were wondering on the empty walls of a soulless motel room. There was nothing to see, really. Nothing personal about the Winchesters and Nathan never expected them to have posters or photos up anyway.

There was a light brown jacket that looked too light and a little big for Dean, some books that didn't fit well with Dean's style, Sam Winchester then.

"I told you its boring, the motel life."

"Its a change and I wanted to see you in your natural habitat."

Dean chuckled, it was becoming one of his favorite sounds, up there with piano and waves hitting the shores at a slightly windy day.

They ordered something other than pizza which made Nathan nervous since he was hesitant to try new foods since that one time he got sick from eating sushi. (Throwing up was way worse than being tortured by a demon. Nathan was pretty sure.) Yet, he was delighted to find out that he liked Noodles and even ate some of the vegetables Dean was picky about.

"The thing that looks a like a mini tree. I like it."

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Nathan couldn't tell how the time went by. It was as if one moment he was sitting on the bed while munching on the noodles with a cliche action movie played on the TV, and the next one TV was long forgotten and there was some music channel on and he was listening to Dean.

(It was rather uncomfortable to be sitting on Sam Winchester's bed, while Dean talked about the way they had been drifting apart.)

"Do you miss it? Your teenage years?"

Dean was looking at him with curious eyes and Nathan didn't know how to answer. The topic of highschool had just came up after Dean started talking about the previous case he had. It was in his old highschool and now they were talking about stuff Nathan could not possibly understand to its fullest. "I miss having less responsibility," he dodged the question. "Do you?"

"That school? Not exactly. But... I used walk around so proud and smug because I was not like the other kids. I knew a lot, I even helped my father with his cases. I thought I was being mature since I wasn't doing anything ordinary like the others, no parties, no useless dramas, no proms, nothing. I guess I miss those things but I never even had them."

The silence grew between them, it was heavy but not uncomfortable. Dean avoided his gaze like he usually did after sharing too much, which made Nathan want to hold his hand and sooth him, it was hard to resist to that urge.

"Fuck it, I sound like Sam," Dean chuckled. "I swear I don't get sappy like this."

"No, no. I get it," Nathan interrupted. "Controlling family, remember? I always thought... still think, what would my life be like if I had an ordinary one?"

Dean shook his head affermatively but there was a frown on his face. He was ashamed for thinking this, wanting more from life perhaps. "You did deserve to have those things. You deserve better."

There it was, desblief in Dean's eyes. The way his lips parted, Nathan knew he was going to protest.

"Oh, stop it Dean. You are such a cliche with the self hating and all. You can be sappy and childish and fucking stupid sometimes."

"In my line of work..."

"Do not even try me Winchester," Nathan said with a serious tone and got up from his place on the bed. He moved to the radio with big steps and a smirk appeared on his face as he increased the volume.

Dean sighed as an old slow song started playing, making Nathan's smirk turn into a smile. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Come on, dance with me."

Dean laughed at his face. "You're insane."

"I won't stop until you come and dance with me," Nathan stepped closer. A more serious look was on Dean's face now. "I have no idea what to do either. Please, humor me."

His hands were reaching for Dean. There was a moment of silence before either of them did anything, and the song was playing softly in the background. Nathan almost gave up thinking Dean was too prideful to do that but he was surprised in the best way possible when he held his hands and let Nathan pull him from the bed.

Nathan couldn't stop smiling at the way Dean was huffing and muttering how stupid this was while Nathan held on of his hands and placed the other on Dean's back.

"I promise, I will keep it as a secret until the day I die," Nathan said as they swayed awkwardly in the small room.

"Keep what as a secret?"

"That you're secretly a softie."

"Go to hell."

They were both smiling at that moment. The song was so soft and sweet, and the slow rhythm was making it easy to just awkwardly sway in the small motel room. It didn't matter though, it was a nice feeling to have someone this close.

And yes, they didn't dance until the end of the song, Dean pushing him away and calling him immature with a grin on his face. It was still a nice moment, even if it was a fleeting one.

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And I don't believe in the existence of angels
But looking at you I wonder if that's true

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Into my arms,
O Lord,
into my arms

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AUTHOR'S NOTE

this was cheesy, i know. i hope it made someone smile

share your thoughts with me, i'm having blast writing this but some feedback will be cherished forever <3