George doesn't see Matty again for the next two weeks, mostly because he pushes down the urge to wander by the strip club every time it pops up - which is more often than George would like, and even though George is a bit disappointed that they don't run into each other again at Tesco, or anywhere really, George decides that it's probably for the best.

Kyle had been home more often lately, looking tired and stressed from his most recent case which he apparently lost unexpectedly, but at least he's here, spending time with George like nothing's wrong with their relationship, and George allows himself to believe that maybe there isn't.

He ignores the few times that Kyle takes a phone call outside, which can only mean he doesn't want George to hear, because dealing with that minor annoyance is so much better than falling asleep alone, which he hasn't had to do in a few nights much to his relief. Having Kyle snuggled into his side is almost enough to have George rethinking all of his earlier suspicions, because he's not acting like he's got something to hide, and maybe he really has just been working an obscene amount of hours after all.

But the illusion of perfection that George managed to construct inside his head came shattering down eventually just like he knew it would. He had hoped - god he'd fucking prayed that it wouldn't this time, but when Kyle called saying he wouldn't be able to make it home in time for the dinner date they'd planned, George found himself choking back tears as soon as he hung up the phone, throwing the device somewhere on the couch in a pointless act of aggression that did nothing to make him feel any better.

George is already dressed and ready to go in his best jeans and a nice button down shirt, because it's their fucking three year anniversary and he'd wanted to look nice which always takes extra time. He never imagined that Kyle would miss this, but he is apparently, and even though George tries to tell himself that it doesn't matter, and they can just celebrate it tomorrow - it does matter, at least to him, the ache in his heart and the wetness gathering at the corners of his eyes attest to that.

George is tempted to call up the law firm that Kyle's employed by so he can beg them to give him some time off, and maybe also to check if he's really there, but he can't bring himself to do it. He doubts that Kyle is anywhere else though, because even if he is cheating on him, he wouldn't go off with another man after already making plans with George - would he?

And even if he's not at work, a part of George still doesn't want to know. As much as Kyle's numerous absences hurt, confirmation of his suspicions would be agony, because George still doesn't want to believe that Kyle is capable of that kind of deception. George knows Kyle's not perfect, and that's he fucked up in the past, but that's all behind them now, or at least George thought it was.

George ends up flicking on the television instead of inquiring over Kyle's whereabouts, trying to distract himself from the ache in his chest with a random movie that's on, but of course it's a cheesy romance film that he typically hates, but in his current state it doesn't take long before he's crying softly, his shoulders shaking with suppressed sobs that seem determined to break out of his throat despite his best efforts at holding them back.

George picks up his phone then, needing company more than anything else. He doesn't want to be alone right now, it's too painful and cloying in his apartment all by himself, so he calls John, crossing his fingers that the other man won't be busy and maybe they can go out for a drink or a bite to eat.

John fails to answer though, which leaves George at a loss for what to do next. He's rather lacking in the friend department lately, and no one else immediately comes to mind when he wracks his brain over who he could spend the evening with.

When John doesn't call him back within five minutes, George makes a rash decision that he knows he'll probably regret in the morning, but before he has time to reconsider his actions, he's already grabbed his coat and closed the front door behind him, his feet turning in the direction of Menswear which he hasn't forgotten the location of even though it's been weeks since he's been there.

~~~

George doesn't immediately spot Matty when he gets inside the dimly lit club, so he heads to a small table in the corner, slumping into the comfortable seat even though his brain is screaming at him to leave now while he still has the chance.

George shouldn't be here, he knows that, because the only reason he's come is in the hopes of running into the curly haired stripper who's probably forgotten about him entirely by now.

George isn't planning on doing anything illicit, he just wants to see Matty again, to maybe speak with him a bit more so he can experience that bubbling rush of happiness that had thrummed through his veins during their last conversation.

It's a stupid idea, especially since George has no idea if Matty's working tonight, and even if he is, he's not going to want to waste his time with George when he's got other people willing to pay him for his attention. George doesn't want a lap dance, the most he's comfortable with is watching Matty perform on stage, which he isn't doing at the moment, in fact, George doesn't see Matty anywhere.

Another boy's currently working the pole, a slender, bleach blonde who has some impressive moves in his arsenal, and even though George is still a bit uncomfortable with the act of watching half dressed men writhe around in front of a captive audience, he finds himself observing anyway, because it's better than thinking about what Kyle's doing right now, and George doesn't feel any attraction toward this dancer, which makes the entire process rest much easier on his conscience.

George eventually wanders over to the bar, keeping his eyes peeled for Matty the entire time. George doesn't know what he's going to do if he does spot him, but he can't help his constant searching for the man even if he isn't sure if he's got the courage to approach him.

He wants to though, otherwise this entire outing will be completely pointless. George didn't pay the cover charge for nothing, so he's not leaving until he finds out if Matty's here. Even if all he manages to do is say hello to Matty, or some other sort of similar interaction with him, no matter how brief of meaningless it is, it'll be worth it to George.

George realizes he's being ridiculous, and that Matty shouldn't be the person he turns to when he's down, especially since they've only had one proper chat, but George wants to see if that odd connection he felt with him is still there, or if he imagined the entire thing in a desperate bid for attention which is something he's decidedly lacking in lately.

George wouldn't be surprised if he has fabricated everything he's felt in Matty's presence, he's been labeled overreaching and silly by both friends and family, and even he can see that he's building Matty up on a pedestal in his mind. Matty won't be able to fix the heartache he's suffering through thanks to Kyle's cancellation, but George would like to pretend he can, so he doesn't try to reason with himself for once, because at least he's doing something besides sobbing alone in his flat while watching horrible films.

And Matty did say he wanted to see him again, even though his sincerity was debatable, but still - it can't hurt to take him up on his offer of stopping by the club, although George has probably been erased from Matty's mind completely after all this time.

George is halfway back to his seat with a cold beer clutched in his fist when he catches sight of a familiar head of curls bouncing off to his left, and when he turns his head, he sees Matty at another table. He's occupied with a patron sporting a receding hairline and an ill fitting suit at the moment, but he's here, and that fact is enough to have a soft smile tugging at George's lips, the grin both unfamiliar and welcomed after the frown he's been stuck with for most of the night.

George doesn't mean to continue to stare at Matty as he swings one slender leg over the older man's lap, his hips moving in a sensual rhythm while he whispers into the man's ear, but he can't tear his gaze away. Something about the practiced way Matty moves screams elegance, even though George never thought he'd use that term to describe a lap dance - still, he can think of no other word for how Matty flexes his body, his torso and limbs flowing seamlessly as he continues to sway to the beat of the song that's currently playing over the speakers.

Matty pauses for half a second when the man places his large hands on his exposed hipbones, and even from this distance, George can tell he's gripping tightly. George can see Matty's mouth moving as he turns, probably telling the guy to ease up if George has to guess. Whatever he says has the man frowning slightly, his chubby features scrunching up as Matty shakes from left to right slowly.

He lets go at least, but he continues to trail his fingers up Matty's ribcage, and although George is sure Matty deals with much worse on a regular basis, his stomach still churns subtlety when he sees the uncomfortable expression on Matty's face.

George means to walk away, to go back to his table and wait until Matty's free before he tries to approach him, if he even does that is, but his feet seem to be frozen in place, and now he's not watching Matty out of appreciation, but also to make sure that he stays safe.

The man continues to touch Matty as he bends over, his spine arching so their hips are still connected in an impressive show of flexibility, but just when Matty seems to be falling back into his routine, the man grabs Matty's hair roughly, his fingers tangling in the messy curls so tightly that George finds himself wincing sympathetically.

Something flickers in George when they man tugs back harshly, straining Matty's neck and causing him to lurch forward in the process. It's like an unknowing barrier in his mind crumbles away, unleashing a plethora of emotions mainly composed of anger and an odd protective surge that has George moving before he can think, his strides spurred on by the panicked look in Matty's eyes as he tries to catch his balance without losing any strands at the same time, his body teetering dangerously as his high heeled boots attempt to find some purchase on the smooth floor.

"Hey," George raises his voice to be heard over the pounding bass when he comes to a halt in front of the table Matty and the customer are situated at, "let him go, he obviously doesn't like that," George snaps, his mouth moving before he's aware of what he's done, but honestly, he wouldn't take his words back even if he could, although he never imagined that he'd have the guts to say them to a complete stranger.

George isn't a confrontational person - not at all, but it's as if he's transformed into a completely different version of himself, or maybe he's finally letting everything he bottles up inside himself break free for the first time in ages. All of his rage and hurt and frustration which should be aimed at Kyle has erupted because of this stranger, not that he doesn't deserve it for the way he's touching Matty, but still - on any other day, or maybe with any other dancer, George would have looked in the other direction and waited for someone else to step in instead of getting involved.

"Who the hell are you?" the man barks back, but he releases his iron grip on Matty's locks, his thick arms crossing over his chest at peers up at George, confusing and irritation coloring his countenance. "You his boyfriend or something, because I hate to break it to you, but I paid for this dance, so you can fuck off until I'm done."

"George?" Matty sputters in confusion when he regains his footing, pushing his way in between the two of them smoothly, but George ignores the smaller man, not wanting to be deterred even though the logical portion of his mind is pleading for him to leave now before this squabble escalates any further.

"No, I'm not his boyfriend, but anyone with eyes can see that you're being too pushy," George presses his point, his voice wavering slightly as his rush of courage begins to diminish with every passing second, but he isn't ready to back down just yet, not until this man understands that he's in the wrong.

"Says who? We're allowed to touch at this club," the man argues stubbornly, but he doesn't look George in the eye when he speaks, and even though it's hard to tell with the rose colored lighting that's flooding the establishment, George thinks he sees a blush of embarrassment staining his ruddy cheeks.

"George - leave it," Matty seethes under his breath, pulling George's attention back to him, and what he sees makes him wish he never came here in the first place.

Matty's eyes are dark and slitted, his painted mouth pulled downward into a scowl as he glares as George sourly. George doesn't know what he expected to happen when he came to Matty's rescue, in fact, he hadn't planned any of this out at all, which he really should have done. George had hoped that Matty would be the tiniest bit grateful for the intervention, but instead it appears that George has upset him even more than the handsy customer had.

"I - I was just trying to help," George stammers out, shuffling backward a few paces when Matty continues to glower at him sullenly.

"I've can take care of myself alright, just go," Matty sighs, turning back to the heavy set man who is now staring down at his lap looking like he'd rather be anywhere but here, which is the only thing George has agreed with him about so far.

George doesn't wait to see what happens next, choosing to follow Matty's command and vacate the area as quickly as possible, his chest tightening and his eyes stinging as he attempts to make his way back to his table without breaking down.

George wipes at his cheeks angrily once he's seated, trying to calm his unruly emotions before he ends up crying in the middle of a crowded strip club. That would be the worst way that George can think of to end this awful night, and if George doesn't get ahold of himself soon, it's going to be unavoidable.

George knows he shouldn't be so affected by Matty's anger - in fact, he deserves it for interjecting himself into a situation that he had no place in, but still, he feels debatably worse than he did when Kyle had said he wouldn't be making it home for dinner, and the culmination of his evening of disappointments has George shattering internally while he attempts to maintain a veneer of stability while he's still in public.

George doesn't understand how he got himself into this mess, he just wanted to see Matty again, to maybe spend time with someone who might actually be interested in him, but now he had ruined any chances he had of possibly befriending Matty, or whatever the fuck his intentions had been when he came searching for him.

Matty was George's last chance of salvaging his shitty day, everyone else had let him down, his boyfriend, his best friend, driving him to seek out a relative stranger who just so happened to show George a shred of kindness the other week, which sounds pathetic when George actually puts it into words, but he feels like that definition fits him perfectly right now.

This is his own fault though, because George should never have placed so much importance in Matty. They mean nothing to each other, and even if they could have one day changed that, George had to go and fuck it up just like he always does.

Realistically, the loss of a potential friendship with Matty isn't something that George should be mourning over - in fact, it's probably better for him if he stays away from Matty entirely given his unexplained attraction to him, but George's fleeting interactions with the dancer had become small pinpricks of light in his typically dismal state of existence, like solitary fireworks which George had been the only one to witness.

George had needed one of those bright flashes tonight more than ever, but now his hopes have been dashed thanks to his own foolishness, and instead of the warm glow that had followed him for hours after his last conversation with Matty, he finds himself plunged into an all encompassing blackness that he doesn't have the strength to bother clawing his way out of.

Maybe George isn't meant to be around people, that's why Kyle doesn't want to spend time at home, that's why he only has one friend, because he's a wreck of a person, and he brings everyone around him down with him. Not only is his miserable, but he's probably ruined Matty's night as well with his noble intentions, he at least lost him whatever tip he might have gotten from that man, so he swears then and there to leave Matty alone for good, to never come here again no matter what.

He's just going to finish this drink, because it was expensive and he doesn't want to waste it, not to mention he's so shook up he's not entirely sure if he can walk quite yet, then he'll make his way out of this club that he should have avoided entirely in the first place.

Sure - he'll probably end up crying again, drowning in the loneliness that's always waiting for him in his flat when Kyle isn't there, but he's resigned to that now, and at least he won't be able to fuck up anyone else's evening that way.

George is having such a bad time rn it's making me sad this wasn't even supposed to happen.

It's going to get better in the next chapter though just wait.

Votes are comments make me smile if you feel like leaving one.

I'm a pain in women's clothes

xo starr