Abir :)

"Mom, what's the need to give her invitation card for the engagement, I mean she's a part of our family, right? " I tried to make my Mom understand but only if she listen to me. She want me to go to Mishti's house to invite her for the engagement.

"So I was right, there is something happened between you and Mishti.. That's why you are denying, isn't it? " she questioned, raising her brows. I gulped. In this happy environment, I seriously don't want anyone to get upset.. I took the card from her hand and she smiled brightly..

"You are going with the driver! " she commanded ..

"Don't you trust me? " I asked and she shook her head, I sighed.. Fine..

It's almost 7.00 PM. Mom came to my workplace to invite some close staffs of our office . The engagement is going to be small and private, so we are not inviting everyone. Though bhai will give a treat here in our office also.

It took me 45 minutes to reach there due to traffic. It's just two days of our confrontation and see I am here again. But today I won't say anything to her, I will just go inside, will put the card on the table and will come out. I won't even look at her, I won't even say anything..

I glared at the driver, he was actually checking whether I will go inside or not. I rolled my eyes and opened the gate slowly. My heart was thumping against my chest. I licked my lips and took a sharp breath.

When I went near her house door, some beautiful fragrance of flowers reached my nostrils. I got confused seeing some heart shaped balloons outside the door.. I didn't open my shoes as I won't stay there for long.

I slightly pushed the door and kept my feet inside her house..

WILL YOU MARRY ME

My heart stopped for a second when I saw this written on the wall with plastic alphabets . The room was decorated with balloons, flowers, small lights.. Earth slipped beneath me when I saw Mishti kneeling down in front of Rohan who was sitting on the couch. She was holding a ring box in one hand and her other palm was over his palm .

I felt like someone stabbed my heart. My body stiffened looking at the wall. There were numerous pictures of Rohan and her. I clutched the card tightly, but it fell on the floor gaining their attention..

"Can't you knock before coming inside? " Rohan uttered, making my blood boiled in anger. Clenching my jaw, I tightened my fist. Who the hell is he to say me something like this , bloody bastard!

But what broke my heart that Mishti didn't say a word. I felt like tears forming in my eyes. Keeping the ring box on the table, she got up and came to me..

"I never knew Mishti Agarwal can be this much romantic! " I muttered looking at the decoration. The reason behind saying those was I wanted to know who was the one who did all this! She can't propose him! What if! No, no way..

Shiver ran down my spine, when she smirked slightly..

"Congratulations! You discovered another side of Mishti Agarwal other than bitterness " she mumbled, I just kept staring at her, wishing it all just turn out to be a bad dream..

She picked the card and placed it on the table. Before she could say anything or I would lose myself I left the place and got inside my car..

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Tune jo na kaha
Main woh sunta raha
Khamakha bewajah khwaab bunta raha
Jaane kiski humein lag gayi hai nazar
Is shehar mein na apna thikana raha
Durr chahat se mein apni chalta raha
Khamakha bewajah khwaab bunta raha

The song was playing in the background in my house. Don't know why my brothers are playing this sad song in this happy moment, but I was falling apart from inside. Every lyrics felt so relatable. Each step towards my room felt heavy..

My siblings were too busy to notice me. Pushing the door, I entered in my dark room, the cold breeze welcomed me. I felt tightness in my chest. Locking my bedroom door from inside, I sat on the bed.

He is Rohan, Rohan Kapoor. He is Mishti di's co-worker in the same college..But twist is he has a huge crush on Miss prety lady from last three years and she too know this....

Sahil's words were ringing in my head.. The past days incidents came into my mind. I shut my eyes trying to compose myself. She proposer him? No way!

But it's her house, how can he decorate her house when she's is there.. And it was her who was holding the ring, it was her who was kneeling down in front of him..

I pressed my forehead, as my head started spinning. Everything around me started looking blur as the tears started forming in my eyes. I felt like my lungs was giving up, I took sharp breath trying to stay in my sense.. It was so difficult for me..

I laid my lifeless body on the bed and looked at the ceiling.. Even the air conditioner was on, I was sweating.. I kept blinking my eyes. It can't be possible right? I know her, she can't do something like this..

Still these past days things started making me feel worse.

It suffocates me.. You suffocate me.. I don't want to even breath the air you breath.. Why don't you understand this even when I am ignoring you from last 15 days? Just... Just stay away from me.. Leave me alone, Please!

Her words hit my head, I felt like collapsing on the bed.. She's ignoring me from so many days, she was even talking with Rohan every day..

Still my heart was denying, it can't possible. Every negative thoughts have occupied my mind.. Rather than blood, poison was rushing through my vein..

Mishti... Please it's enough... I can't take this much pain. Please shut this crap.

If you have to kill me this way, then why did you save me 10 years back. It would have been better if you would have let me died that day.. From wiping each other's tears to actually making each other cry, we came really a long way..

God! Why you kept us colliding with each other when at the end you had to separate us.. It hurts when you feel so much for someone and the person don't even know about it. Does she feel nothing for me?

I never tried to impress her, may be that's why I could not able to create a place for me in her heart. How easily I said that day, that I will let her go. But it's not possible. God! If you are punishing me for these words na, then I am taking it back. You know na what she's for me?

Why are you doing this to me.. I can't live without her.

I never knew things will become this worse. My chest was paining due to lack of air. I shut my eyes tightly, letting those tears to fall from my eyes.

I closed my tired eyes, still hoping it's not Mishti who proposed that Rohan..

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Mishti :)

Today evening I went to my house owner land, to give my documents, paid the rent and came back. It was supposed to he, who had to come but while coming here he met with an accident. But thank God nothing serious happened to him.. I had to go today because tomorrow I am going to Canada..

When I opened the gate, I saw my house door was opened. Kaka had told me that he will leave before 6.00 PM. Did he just left the house like this? I rushed towards my house, but stopped seeing some balloons coming to me from inside. I went inside not before keeping my sandals..

WILL YOU MARRY ME

This was the first thing I noticed. I took slow steps towards it, my heart beating in confusion.. So many balloons, my favourite flowers, lights, my drawing room was looking aesthetically beautiful..

But my eyes widen seeing Rohan and my pictures hanging on the wall. I took a step back and my back hit with someone.. I turned around only to find him.. I was right about him, he was doing all this to impress me only..

He sat on his knees, forwarding a box towards me and then opened it.. Literally my whole body was boiling in anger..

"I know you must be angry on me, but can you please give me some minutes to express myself ? " he pleaded, I let out a thick air out of my mouth to control myself..

"In this past few days, I actually started to be friend with you, just a friend.. But it's too hard for me.. I gave my best, but I feel different for you.. And if we can become good friends then why can't we become good partners? " he said, I saw helplessness behind those eyes of him..

"That's what you are not getting. Just because we are good friends that doesn't mean we can be good partners. I never felt something for you in this way! " I muttered, he was still on his knees but after listening to me, he stood up..

"Are you rejecting me because you are rich than me? I can't fulfill your wishes? You live a luxurious life unlike me? " he whispered, my heart dropped.. Even after staying together for more than 5 years, he still could not understand me..

Holding the ring box from his hand, I made him sit on the couch and kneeled down in front of him..

"Listen to me first! "

He shook his head and cupped my cheek in one hand . "I promise I will work hard, I will never give you a chance to complain! " he mumbled, I removed his hand from my cheek and held it. I was about to say something when I heard something falling on the ground..

I turned my head back. Abir!

"Can't you knock before coming inside? " Rohan said to him, I felt like smacking his face real hard, it's my house or his? I stared at Abir and gulped. He was looking at him with such rage, like he will dig his grave right here only..

Putting the ring box on the near table I got up and went to him..

"I never knew Mishti Agarwal can be this much romantic! " he whispered, looking straight into my eyes. Then I realized he must be thinking it's me who have done this declaration and all. I smirked slightly at his thoughts, Mishti and romance don't go hand in hand..

"Congratulations! You discovered another side of Mishti Agarwal other than bitterness.. " I mumbled. Why to burst the bubble, let him think that I am happy too in my life the way he is!! I picked the card and realized it was some sort of envelope.. My eyes fell on the little art over it. Two hands towards each other, ENGAGEMENT CEREMONY, it was written below it.

All of a sudden, I felt like holding something heavy in my hand. Tears formed on my eyes but I didn't let it fall and kept the card on the table. He had already left.

Bringing a chair near Rohan I sat over it. Trying my best to behave calm..

"First thing, coming from a rich family won't make me rich.. I know it's me who spent their most of the money, because I am their daughter, they want me to live a luxurious life. But that doesn't mean I am rich.. And second thing even I do marry someone I will never depend on him for my financial issues. Of course I will let him spend money on me but on his wish,  I am an independent woman. I myself is enough to fulfill my expenditure. So it doesn't matter if I marry someone rich or middle class guy.." I explained and he looked down, tears started falling from his eyes..

"Why can't you love me the way I do! " he muttered helplessly..

"You know atleast I used to love you as a friend but now you lost it too.. " I whispered, why can't someone understand what I feel. Why my feelings doesn't matter to anyone?

"Rohan, please move on! " I uttered..

"It's not possible, why don't you understand, " he shouted getting up, I flinched at my place and stood up .

"Have you felt the helplessness where you want someone but the other person feel nothing for you? " he screamed, his words caused my heart to pound hard in my chest. He added salts over my wound..

"It is not easy the way you are saying! " he mumbled, wiping his tears.

"I just had 3 to 4 people in my life, with whom I used to share everything. And you were one of them . But have you ever felt the pain I went through after your confession? Even though I had no such feelings for you, I choosed to stay with you because I didn't want to break your heart. That's when I made a mistake by choosing you over my feelings. Because after that you always made yourself a victim, you always kept crying over my rejection. You just wanted me, not my happiness. Otherwise you could have noticed how much I was hurt.. I had no one by side.. I was alone.. I needed a friend, Adi was not in my college as well as Soha. I had friends but they were not my closeones.. Have you ever came to me and ask me how am I doing? For once atleast? " I yelped, the unstoppable tears made my vision blurry.

He stared at me with a blank expression. I took a step back and showed my palm to him when he came near me..

"Please leave me alone! And don't show me your face ever again, " I yelled.. Without saying more he left with the ring.. I locked the door from inside and fell on the couch.. I had never shared this with him , but I can't suffer more for him.. Just when I started thinking you have changed,  you again prooved me wrong..

My gaze fell on the invitation card. I took it in my trembling hand. A tear dropped on it. I opened the envelope and held the folded card.. My heart tightened, I didn't have the courage to take a glance at it. So I again put it inside the envelope and placed it on the table..

I was feeling too heavy. It's enough, God please stop now. I am tired of crying.. You have broken me completely. What you want more?

I opened my phone, tapped on the whatsapp seeing 576 messages from Sahil. He had sent me all the pictures of the trip.. I started scrolling through it. I will always cherish this memory.. My fingers stopped when the video popped up on my screen where Abir was proposing Saanvi di.. But I didn't watch it, I can't!

Closing the tab I threw my phone on the sofa . Leaning back on the couch I closed my eyes, bringing my knees near to my chest..

I had never felt this much lonely in my life..

Abir, please for once tell me you are doing all this to annoy me.. For once tell me it's all a lie, or just a nightmare or just a misunderstanding..
_______________

It's around 7.00 AM in the morning. Mom had sent driver to pick me, he was waiting outside. He had already taken my luggage.. Closing the door, I locked it. I turned over my heel to leave, but I couldn't move further. I turned back and realized my dupatta had got stuck in between the door..

I tried to pull it, but it didn't come. It seems like my house didn't want me to leave. I unlocked the door having no option and pulled the dupatta and again locked it..

I felt too weak to go further, I don't want to go to Canada, leaving everything here.. Taking a deep breath, I gathered all my courage and made my way to exit. Driver opened the door and I got inside..

I put my purse at my side and leaned against the headrest as the driver started the car.. The driver stopped the car all of a sudden and my head hit the back of his seat..

"What happened? " I asked rubbing my forehead..

"Mam, a cat just crossed the road. We should just stay here for one minute, " he replied, I nodded my head..

I turned my left and my breath stopped. I was just in front of Rajvansh house. I gasped when my gaze fell on the letter A and S. I looked away, not wanting to get sad again..

The driver started the engine, I turned my head towards left again.. This house will always remain special for me, in fact these people too. They make me feel like a family and now I lost it.. It won't be same for me..

"Stop, stop, " I said to the driver, seeing the Radhakrishna temple..

"I am coming in five minutes, " saying I got out of the car, not before removing my sandals in the car.. First I washed my hands then went to the temple. There were less people in the temple.. I felt good when the divine wind welcomed me.

I folded my hand in front of Radhakrishna..

"God! Wish me luck for my new journey! " I muttered.. Of course it's my new journey. When I will come back from Canada I want myself to forget everything, every memory with Abir. I want to live my life, the way I used to do, without him in my thoughts, in my mind, in my hea- No. He was never in my heart..

Still my heart just wanted to see him for one last time before going to Canada. After he entered in my life, my heart my eyes my soul, all have stopped listening to me.

I opened my eyes and turned right and my heart came to my throat seeing Abir there. I started breathing fast, how could God listen to me so soon? I bit my inner cheeks to keep a straight face. But what made me confused was the way he was looking at me, he was standing like a statue, his eyes asking thousands of questions to me..

I turned around and left the temple. When I kept my feet on the first stair, I looked back at him. He was still standing there without moving. Weird! What happened to him? I sighed and got inside my car..

_________________

Abir :\

God! Wish me luck for my new journey!

The earth beneath me just slipped hearing her words. New journey? It means it was her who pr-

The world turned upside down..

My gaze met with her when she turned towards me, she was not expecting to see me there which I could understand from her expression.. After some seconds she left.. But I stayed there like a statue.. Words after words were drilling into my heart, my heart thumping against my chest..

I came here to the temple to pray , but I didn't even get a chance to wish something for me. I turned away and left the temple.. The driver opened the car door and I got inside..

Yeh dooriyan
Yeh dooriyan
Yeh dooriyan

In raahon ki dooriyan
Nigahon ki dooriyan
Hum rahon ki dooriyan
Fanah ho sabhi dooriyan

Kyun koi paas hai
Door hai Kyun koi
Jaane Na koi yahan pe

The driver was listening to the song.. I gulped a huge lump and pulled my hair..

"Stop this song, " I uttered lowly and he stopped the music..

I lost someone who was never mine. I didn't just lose you, I lost my home. All the moments we had shared together kept flashing on my eyes..

Yesterday scene was digging holes into my chest .. There was a strange tightness in my lungs, that even simple breathing was burning me.. My mind was exploding, my heart was craving for her.. I kept my both palm on my teary eyes, not wanting to cry..

I opened my phone gallery, Sahil had sent me those pictures from our trip.. Tear droplets were falling on my phone screen seeing the pictures.. I wanted to travel the world with you, but I guess it was our first and last trip. I played the video where I was confessing my feelings to her because of the dare.

Saanvi was right! I will never get a chance to confess my feelings.. I had too much confidence on my little hope. I took everything grantedly.. And at the end I lost her. How can I fight for her when she herself don't want me in her life?

I feel like a looser today! Who just lost everything .....

I hope, Mishti Agarwal, we will never meet in life again. Otherwise you can't see the Demon in me, which will destroy everything.. These memories I had with you will always haunt me. Always!

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