Mishti :)

I locked my suitcase and sat on the floor. After whatever happened today morning, I am really regretting for my words. He was looking hurt, he tried to talk with me for three times after that , but I didn't give him any attention. I should let this things go, the way he reacted to my words, one thing I realized that that day whatever he said, it was in his sleep..

Should I talk to him and forget everything as we are going back today. Now we are in Saanvi di's guest house in Shillong,  which is near to the airport. We will stay here till evening , as our flight is at 8.00 PM .

Siya will directly go to Gujurat, so Sameer bhai will go with her , her flight is at 10.00 PM  .

After coming here, I didn't go out of this room. Even I did my lunch here only with Sam.. I glanced at the watch, it's 3.30PM already. I don't want him to return back  with a sad face. Just because he said something that day , I can't forget everything he did to me before, right?

Taking a deep breath, I opened my door and came out of the room. I was walking on the corridor when some whistles and clap sounds reached my ears..

"So finally, Abir Rajvansh is proposing her girl, " my heart stopped beating for a second when I heard Siya's voice .

I took slow steps towards railing and looked down as I was on the first floor.. My breath fastened when I saw Abir on his knees and Saanvi di was standing in front of him.. All were gathered around them, Sam and Sahil were recording the scene in their respective phones..

Abir forwarded a heart shaped pillow towards her, she held it, keeping her palm over the pillow..

I don't know from where to start actually! You are really special to me, which I have never told to you. You know what , the day my eyes laid on you, I knew you are something different.. The  way you excite me no one do. Everytime I stare into your eyes, I feel like like everything around me is okay! You affect me like no one do! I feel happy around you..My world revolve around you and only you.

He stopped and took a deep breath looking at the ground..

Will you marry me?

I was shocked to the core. I felt like the ground started vanishing beneath me. I took some backsteps and entered in my room. Closing the door from inside I sat on the bed as I felt a sharp pain in my heart..

Whatever I saw didn't feel real to me, but his words took me back. He was confident. He actually meant his every words.

My heart started thumping against my chest, it became  hard for me to breath. I tried to control the tears, but I failed miserably. I clutched the bedsheet tightly, as tears started falling down ..

I don't care if he love someone, but why he do all those things with me? Was that all normal for him? Why did he make me feel special when I was not! My stomach twisted in pain, I palmed my mouth not wanting to cry..

I never wanted to collide with him after coming from Goa , but it happened in regular basis. I never wanted to come close to him, but we ended up coming more closer. I wanted myself to stay away from him, but it actually never happened..

I didn't want to get attached to him, but even after avoiding him from last few days, it didn't help. He has occupied my mind very badly, I can't help.

I wiped my tears harshly and got up. I was never dying to marry him, I still don't!! But for me it's not normal. May be it's normal for him, but not for me.

He keep coming near me, just because he loves to tease me or trouble me? Do all these things just nothing for him?

My mind went back to that day when he got angry on me, when we were in there guest house,he was drunk . He was too angry, is that because he loves someone and he spent the night with me?

I took a sharp breath, my head started spinning.

I don't know, but I can't see him with someone. It's better for me to stay away from him. I digged my nails on my palm trying to calm me down, but how can I be calm after whatever I saw..

Even after trying so hard to not get attached with him, I failed miserably.. It's only me who is at fault, why could I not  hold my emotions.

Everyone come to my life only to destroy my feelings, first they make me feel so special then make me feel like a nobody. Everyone leave me!

First Bua left, then my dad, then bhai. Then the stranger, who just came to my life out of the blue, made my black and white life little colourful but then he too left. And now Abir ! How could I be such a fool? He never said what he feels, how could I started imagining his feelings?

Just because bollywood has romanticized the things, like tucking hairs behind ears, dancing in rain, staring at each other, it's not what real life is! It's totally different! I am such a fool..

I never believe in these things until he came to my life. He made me feel like I am living a fairytale..

Always protecting me, coming close to me, standing by my side at my worst was nothing for him? Just casual? Writing my name fakely on the telescope and dancing with me just to make me feel good, was that nothing for him? Taking me to marine drive, dancing with me under rain was nothing for him?

My face started burning, very badly, but not more than my heart. It was difficult for me to bear this , his words for her started haunting me. I realized I was crying badly, I pulled the pillow and pressed my face on it, to get a control over the worst unknown feeling I was going through!

My head started paining due to the overthinking and crying badly. I went to washroom and splashed water on my face untill I came back to my normal condition, which seemed impossible at that moment..

Tears were rolling from my eyes continuously, I shut my eyes tightly. I fell on the ground, as I had no energy left. The world outside the room was moving as usual, but for me it has stopped.. I don't care, if he love someone, marry someone, but it's hurting me..

When he feels nothing for me then why the hell he always come close to me ? I felt like to destroy everything around me. I punched the bathroom wall in anger, blood started oozing from my knuckles. But the pain was nothing in front of what my heart was feeling.

Finally I sat on the floor, gathering me, trying to calm myself. Life was always hard and will always be hard. I was a fool who started expecting something good from my life ! It was hell only!

I HATE YOU ABIR RAJVANSH FOR MAKING ME FEEL LIKE A DUMB! I WILL ALWAYS HATE YOU. ALWAYS!! YOU ARE THE WORST THING EVER HAPPENED TO ME..

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Abir :)

I kept my head on the headrest of the sofa, staring at her room, whose door was closed from last one hour. When we were coming here, Saanvi's father guest house, I tried to talk with her, but she ignored. Even though I did a blunder in sleep, it doesn't change the fact that I hurt her.

I mean God is literally enjoying all this. That day I got angry on her because alcohol had a control on me, and again I blabbered nonsense when I was sleep. So should I stop sleeping ? I was really tired that day, I didn't even realize how I fell asleep.

"Yeaa! Abir now it's your turn, "

I snapped at Siya, she said jumping on the sofa. I rolled my eyes and again fixed my gaze at the door..

"I am out of this bullshit game, " I muttered..

"Abir yarr please, don't kill the vibe.. Choose truth or dare ! " bhai said, I sighed..

"Dare! " I mumbled..

"Propose Mishti to marry you! " Siya said gaining my attention.

I sat on the sofa, all shocked. She was grinning, effortlessly she trapped me. I got up from the sofa  , "Listen! Don't make things more difficult for me, " saying I turned around to leave..

"You always do that, looser ! " Siya said, I took a sharp breath and stopped walking..

"I have an idea! "

I looked at Saanvi, she winked at me..

"You have to just propose her na, doesn't matter it's her or her picture, because there is no rule, " Saanvi uttered, I snapped my brows together.. Siya was about to say something but Sameer stopped her. Saanvi came to me..

"Listen! You know na, you are not going to propose her in near future, the way you are doing blunder again and again. So say whatever you want to say to her picture, " she chuckled, I let out a sigh..

"Fine! " I muttered..

"Good ," Saanvi said holding her phone, showing a picture of her which I had clicked in Manali without her acknowledge..

I kneeled down in front of her, my heart beating rapidly. Only if Mishti have any idea, how much I am scared of her, if there is anyone I am scared of after Mom, then it's her only. Even though she was not standing in front of me physically, but I became so nervous to confess my feeling..

I took a sharp breath and took a heart shaped pillow from the sofa and everyone started shouting and clapping, making me more nervous.. I forwarded the pillow towards Saanvi's phone, she held the pillow, still holding the phone in her hand, showing me Mishti's picture..

I don't know from where to start actually! You are really special to me, which I have never told to you. You know what , the day my eyes laid on you, I knew you are something different.. The  way you excite me no one do. Everytime I stare into your eyes, I feel like like everything around me is okay! You affect me like no one do! I feel happy around you..My world revolve around you and only you.

I looked down, took a deep breath and again looked up..

Will you marry me....

I didn't say much, because I wanted only her to hear what I actually feel for her.. There are so many things, which I didn't want to say at this moment..

I got up and Saanvi hugged me tightly, knowing very well what I am feeling inside..

"May your every wish come true, I can't see you like this, " she muttered breaking the hug, I pulled her cheek and chuckled..

I looked up, at her room door, it was still closed. Taking a sharp breath I went to my room..

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I was setting my hair, standing in front of mirror , when Saanvi came inside. Taking a last glance of my reflection on the mirror, I turned away and kept my wallet in my pocket.

"You know what! She's upset because you told her that she's just your responsibility, I mean she wanted to hear something more than this, " she said being all excited.. I locked my suitcase ignoring her blabbers. Don't know what she wanted to hear, but she definitely didn't want to hear what I told..

"Idiot, I am talking to you. You should not feel sad about this things. I am saying she do feel something for you, " she blabbered, blocking my way..

Crossing my arms over my chest, I stared at her and she sighed..

"I am a girl, I know what girls feel. You guys are together for more than three months and believe me it's really enough for someone to have feelings, and I can feel it actually, she do have some feelings for you, may be not love but yah there is something, " she added, I took a deep breath as her words hit my brain..

"One last time go and talk to her, just clear the things between you. Okay don't tell her what you feel at least you can say na she is special for you, please don't end this trip like this, " she pleaded, showing her puppy eyes..

I was actually going to her room only, nodding my head I made my way to her room. As I was taking a step forward, I felt like someone is pushing me to go back. Keeping those thoughts, away, I moved forward..

We still have time to leave for airport..

I stood in front of her room, gathering all my courage I stretched my left hand to knock the door, but it got opened before I could knock. My heart started beating, when she opened the door fully and came out..

My gaze fell on her palm, a white bandage was wrapped around her knuckles.

"What happened to your hand? " I asked, forwarding my hand to hold her hand but she took a step back. I looked up and my eyes met with her eyes, I felt a tightness in my chest. Her face was looking pale, tears shimmered in her eyes..

"What happened? " I said , cupping her face, but she jerked my hand away in a second.

"Why do you care even? " she whispered looking away, I raised my brows in confusion..

"Mishti! Please enough of this, " I mumbled slowly.

"Yah! Enough of this bullshit, now let me go, " she said, I just stared at her..

"Mishti! You are still crying for my words? Seriously I didn't mean it, I -" she didn't let me complete..

"I am not crying! " she uttered, clutching her purse tightly.

"Then why are your eyes are so red? And what about this bandage? " I asked , going near to her but she again went back making me anxious..

"I want answer Mishti! What's wrong? Why are you crying? " I asked, trying my best to sound calm..

"And what made you think that I will answer to your questions? My tears, my eyes, my face, I cry, I die it's none of your concern! LIKE NONE OF YOUR CONCERN " she shouted, looking straight into my eyes. She was never this much rude to me..

"But Mishti! " I muttered holding her shoulder, but she again jerked my hand.

"DON'T YOU DARE TO EVEN TOUCH ME ! " she snapped,showing me her index finger, as these words escaped from her mouth, my body stiffened, I felt like someone stabbed my heart. Her words were more sharper than any knife..

I was too shocked to react anything, so I let her go. Without even looking at me, she took her luggage and went down stairs.. I took a share breath, trying to digest her words. She didn't seem to be angry for that reason, I mean she was not even looking angry, she was hurt..

"What was that? " Saanvi said, she was equally shocked. I gulped a huge lump in my throat and went to my room, avoiding her..

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It's more than 24 hours to her outburst. Today at 5.00 AM in morning we reached in mumbai, Mishti directly went to her home as her Chacha and bhai were waiting for her in the airport. She didn't even bother to look at me! We all too came back, Mom was desperately waiting for us.

She literally cried seeing us after freaking fifteen days! The whole day, I stayed with Mom. But didn't stop overthinking. I even called Mishti for how many times I too don't know. Even after numerous calls and messages, she didn't response, so I stopped calling her..

I didn't say something so big that she will react this way! I mean from last 13 days she didn't talk, wasn't it enough! And that morning too, she was upset but not this much angry. Which type of story she made in her brain after that?

"Take a look at these pictures, I have selected some girls for you, " Mom said coming to the terrace, forwarding some pictures towards Aadarsh bhai.. We three were sitting in my terrace..

Saanvi snapped her eyes at Mom. Bhai was looking unbothered, he took the photos from her hand and she sat just in front of us.. I stared at Saanvi who was just blinking her eyes..

My eyes widen, when bhai threw the pictures at the teapoy.. Mom looked at him in confusion, I gulped hard seeing bhai's expression.

"I love Saanvi and I want to marry her! " he announced, looking straight into Mom's eyes..

Saanvi and me, we both stood up in shock, of course it was not how he should have said to Mom. It was so direct, and the way he said it felt like some warning.. Mom stared at bhai for some seconds then at Saanvi, who was staring at me ..

I never expected bhai will confess like this to Mom..

"I am..... umm... my.. phone.... Mom call- " Saanvi stammered, but could not say a sentence properly and left without saying more ..

I sat back, and now Mom was staring at me, I gave her a faint smile. There was complete silence between us.. Nobody say a word, I could hear my own heartbeats..

"It's too late! I am going to sleep.. " saying Mom got up, bhai kept his gaze on his lap..

"Tomorrow! 7.00AM , in garden. I want you both to be present there. I want to talk, tell her too! " saying she left.. I stared at bhai, who was looking totally unbothered..

"Good night... " saying he too left, leaving a confused me there..

I took a deep breath and laid on the sofa, resting my head on the headrest and my leg on the table.. It's all about Saanvi and bhai, but here I am getting anxious..

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I sat beside Mom, as she was shipping her morning tea.. Bhai was already there, they both were silent.. I glanced at my handwatch , it's already 7.15 am..

We were sitting in the garden waiting for Saanvi too come. Her Mom and Dad are out of station so she stayed here , today she will go back..

I shifted my gaze at Saanvi, who just came to garden, still in her night dress and messy hair. I pressed my forehead, she should have at least come with opened eyes, she was looking sleepy, as her eyes were half-closed..

She sat beside bhai, giving us a smile. Mom stared at her, and blinked her eyes. I shook my head in disbelief, this girl!!

"I can't actually believe that you guys love each other! To be very honest, I wanted a girl who is not dominating, who won't behave like a queen, because you are the eldest son of this family, so I always wanted your wife to not have these things, so that she won't rule the family because she will be the eldest daughter-in-law.. " she stopped and took a deep breath.. My eyes widen when I saw Saanvi sleeping, keeping her head on bhai's shoulder..

She is crazy!

"But yeah, Saanvi is not like this,as much I know her . But she's very childish, immature and always in fun mood. I don't  need any girl who will hold my family together, because we all are strong enough, so it's not even a problem. But still! Umm leave... " she added and paused..

"And one more thing, it's your life, her life and it should be your decision.. If you love her, if you want to marry her then I don't have any problem. I am little disappointed that my son kept this from me, but I know the reason. You must be scared because I don't like her much. But I can assure you that I will accept her with my whole heart, " saying she got up, keeping the cup on the table. I was still processing, did she just agree to their marriage..

"I am going to her house today and will fix their engagement! " saying she left..

Bhai and I both stared at each other, blinking our eyes rapidly. He was equally shocked, but his girl was sleeping peacefully..

"My God! She agreed , and you are still calm not screaming? " I muttered, bhai was still processing..

Continue!!

I too went to my room to take a bath. Today I have to go to office, it's been so long I didn't visit there....

_______________________

Mishti :)

When I came here, Mom and Chachi were sleeping. I didn't disturb them and directly went to my room. I avoided talking with bhai and Chacha. I was so tired that I didn't even change ny clothes and slept like that..

When I woke up it was already noon. Mom was sitting beside me, as soon as my eyes met with her, I could not hold myself back. I cried hugging her, when she asked I said that I just missed her that's why I cried. Of course I missed her, but it was not the reason of me crying..

I have bought so many home designing things, so I gave it to her. And that's how I put myself in trouble as those things were traditional. But I lied saying there were some Indian shop in Dubai and I liked all those so I bought..

It's been two days, I am staying here, with my family.. After 5 days we all are going to Canada, they all have planned it before, I agreed because I need to clean my mind.. Today I am going back to my rent house then I will go to Rajvansh house as well , as I have bought some things for Meera Aunty and Geeta Aunty from the trip....

Just after 15 days, it's my birthday.. And I think I will be in Canada at that time. Which is good for me!!

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The guard opened the gate for me and I entered inside. It's evening time, I choosed here to come at this hour, only to avoid Abir, he must be in office.

"Mishti, come here... " I was about enter inside Rajvansh house, when I heard Meera aunty's voice. I made my way towards lawn as she was sitting there..

She was making some sort of list, keeping the bags on the sofa, I touched her feet and she caressed my cheeks.

"Actually I am writing the names of the people, whom I am going to invite to the engagement, " she said keeping the paper and pen on the table, I arched my brows in confusion..

"You don't know? Abir didn't tell you? " she asked, I shook my head. A unknown fear started engulfing me.

"My son and Saanvi are  getting engaged,just after seven days! " she announced and my heart skipped a bit.. I remained fixed on my spot for next seconds.. Earth slipped under my feet..

"Congratulations Aunty! So happy for you, " I greeted and she hugged me.

"Aunty I have brought a saree for you and for Geeta Aunty too from Banaras! " I mumbled breaking the hug, a smile crept on her lips after hearing my words..

I handed her the bag, "This is so sweet of you, " she said, I just gave her a subtle smile..

"Abir! You came so early, " Aunty said, looking towards my side. I shut my eyes tightly, to get a control over my emotions. I don't want him to know what I am feeling right now..

I clutched my purse tightly when I heard his footsteps coming towards us. I took a deep breath as my heart started beating rapidly.. He walked passed me and sat on the sofa. I because conscious when I felt his gaze on me, I didn't look at him..

"He is the happiest person right now, after all he will soon share the same roof with his best friend, " Aunty chuckled, I gave her a faint smile. I felt like someone stabbed my heart, I bit my inner cheeks to behave normal which was nearly impossible..

"You guys talk! I am coming, " saying Aunty left, leaving both of us there.. I was staring at the ground and his gaze were on me.. I can't stay here for a minute even..

"Mishtiiiiiii! "

I got startled hearing Rohan's voice, I turned around hurriedly. He came running to me, I stumbled over my feet when he hugged me. "I missed you so much, " he whispered, I just patted his back and broke the hug.

"Weren't you taking care of yourself properly? You are looking so pale! " he said with concern filled voice..

"What are you doing here? " I asked, trying to avoid the topic..

"Actually I came here to drop Sam as her driver didn't go, but then I noticed you here so just came, " he explained, I just nodded my head..

"You will stay here or going to your house? " he asked, " No, I was just leaving but you came, " I muttered.

"Then come I will drop you, " he said, nodding my head I left with him.

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Locking the door from inside, I sat on the floor as a lone tear escaped from my eyes unknowingly. That day I got 236 missed calls from Abir, he had sent me so many messages too as I was not picking the calls...

He must be thinking I am upset because of that day. I didn't response to his calls, because I didn't want any apology, what will I do to his apology? After whatever happened I can't behave normally with him.

In these two days, after doing tons of overthinking I finally came out of these creepy feelings, but today when Aunty said about his engagement I again came back to the level, again I was surrounded with the emotions.. I wish I can just erase my memory!!

I am happy, atleast I won't have to attend his engagement as I will be in Canada during that time .

Everything is going so fast! Weird!
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