Abir :)

I ruffled my hairs , droplets were dripping down as I just took a bath. It's the only way to make my mind and body relax. It's been two hours to me shouting at her. And there was not even a second that I hadn't regretted about it.

I sat on the couch throwing my head back, closed my eyes in guilt. From the day Sam had told me about Riyansh, I had totally lost my sense. May be I am sounding over protective, but I just don't get good vibes from him. More than anything I am bit sad, because she didn't feel like to share such an important thing with anyone of us..

And yesterday when I heard those words from Riyansh, I couldn't get a control over myself. Dad! He left us in pieces, but I know how hard the situation mus have for him that it led him to take such a big steps.

I usually don't get drunk, but sometimes running away from the situation is the only solution, atleast when you don't know what to do or what to say..

I denied Mishti to follow me, because I know whether I get drunk or not, I will pour all my frustation on the first person I see. I really have this bad quality, I can't control my anger.

And I am still regretting about last night. She should not have come here. I was not in my sense, alcohol had a control over me. I got angry because what if I would have done something which I am not ready for, nor she. It would have been a lifetime regret for me.

I don't want to hurt her,not even in my wildest dream . To be honest, those were the best days of my life, when I used to admire her from far away. Roaming in college corridor just to hear her voice, roaming around her classes to get a glimpse of her, sometimes following her till her house to check if she landed safely or not, but never came in front of her. Life was better, atleast she was never hurt for me.

I never approached her from my side, because I was scared. I never wanted to add her in my messy life. People might think I am a simple person, but I am the most complicated man to ever exist, always confused about my emotions, my feelings, and everything..

She was always like a moon to me, to whom I can admire from far only. When I started living in Paris, I lost all my hopes regarding her. Initially I used to feel sad for not getting in touch with her, but then it became normal for me. Because there was not any emotional attachment with her, may be it was just an attraction or I was just obsessed with her..

But after her I never felt anything for any  other girl, it might sound strange but she's the only one who occupied my mind fully . After coming from Paris, the first thing I did was , I visited Delhi. I knew where she used to live, and I went there in a hope that I will see her again.

But all my hope got shattered when I reached there. They had already left the place. I did not know anything about her, except her name. And that day I made myself understand that we don't have any future together. She was just a past and will remain in my memories.

But I always craved to have a conversation with her, just simple casual talks. I wanted to know her, how she feels, what she likes, everything about her.

Then I came Mumbai, one day Mom pleaded me to accompany her without telling the reason. I thought she wanted to visit to any relative house but she took me to her house. I totally froze in my place seeing her coming downstairs. She had no interest about whatever happening around her.

I kept my gaze on the floor, trying to digest the thing. She looks the same how she used to look in her college days. May be she was looking more beautiful. That was the first time I felt like I don't want to lose her again. But of course I was not ready for marriage.

Mom knew about Mishti, my siblings had filled her ears saying I had a crush on a girl. She had strictly said me to concentrate on my studies. But that day she literally gave me a shock by taking me to her house with a marriage proposal..

Then again we met in Soha's wedding. It was totally unexpected. Then we met again and again. She entered in my life, we both started knowing each other. After getting her back in my life, hurting her would not even the last thing I wanted to do.

I don't know why, how, but I feel happy around her. I just want her to stay with me. Why everything is so messy.. I need clarification in my life.

She won't understand but if I would have done anything yesterday, I could have never forgive myself. That's why I strictly said her to not follow me. Whether it's verbally or physically, I didn't want to do anything in my drunken state. God know! How did she control me yesterday!

And now how will I face her after whatever I said to her, which I shouldn't. In anger I said her so many things. Anger actually damage so many things, and today I really proved it.

I came out of my zone when my phone started ringing. I looked at the screen, it was from Mom.

Hello! 

Hello bhai! It's me Sam..

Hmm..

Bhai umm.. Mishti... Where is she? She went to you yesterday and now she's not picking my calls. She is with you na?

Hmm.. She is with me. Don't worry!

Umm. I am sorry for whatever happened yesterday. I know sorry won't be enough but -

We will talk about it later. Bye.

Okay bye! Come soon :)

I cut the call. Pushing my hairstrands which were falling on forehead , I got up from the couch. Taking a deep breath I headed to the room where she was. My chest was getting heavy in every step. I don't know what will I say when I face her.

I opened the door slowly, and entered inside . I sighed in relief seeing her sleeping in the couch. I slightly pushed her hair strands from her neck, my chest tightened seeing the mark I left on her neck. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

Opening the cupboard I took out a shawl and wrapped around her gently , making sure she won't wake up. I lifted her in my arms and went to downstairs. The door was already opened, I went outside, the driver opened the passenger seat and I placed her gently inside the car.

I again went to her room and brought her phone and came back. "Umm, you can go to your house, I will drive by myself, " saying I gave some money to the driver.

"And yes, lock all the door after I go, lock the gate too, " I forwarded the keys of the house to him and got inside the car. I started the engine not before tying the seatbelt around her and me..

I looked at her petite figure, hairstrands were falling on her face making her frown. My heart started beating fast, seeing her opening her eyelids. We were on the way to her house. First she blinked her eyes then looked at me. I didn't dare to look at her, the guilt was killing me.

I was guilt for losing control over myself at night and shouting at her in morning. She stayed silent and kept her gaze on the road , resting her head . I too did not say anything, silence felt right.

I stopped my car in front of her house, she removed the shawl and kept it on back seat. She covered the marks with her hair and came out of the car. I pulled down the window, "Your phone, " I murmured making her stopped on her way.

She turned back and took the phone from my hand without even looking at me. I too left after she went inside..

As I stepped inside my home, Mom came running to me. "I am calling you from last night, and you are coming here? Where were you? You know about Sam, she fell from stairs while coming here, and got injured, " she said in one go. I just wrapped my hand around her and hugged her tightly.

She rubbed my back, "you okay? " she whispered, I nodded my head breaking the hug. Hiding something for her is the toughest task, she gave me an confused look..

"Umm, I had a meeting with some clients, I went outside for those works, I tried to call you but there was network issue. And about Sam I am going to her now, " saying I walked out before she could read my face.

I got inside her bedroom, my brothers were present there. She was sitting on the bed, holding her pillow. Everyone's gaze fell on me, "How is your leg? Umm is it still paining? " I asked standing near her. She shook her head, "I am feeling better now, " she muttered.

"Where is Mishti? " I looked at bhai, who raised his brows at me. "At her place, " I whispered.

"Why are you not picking up calls? " he asked.

"Phone was silent! " I said looking away. He was giving me suspicious look, which I ignored.

"Guys, I need some rest. Don't disturb me, " I came out of her room.

Closing the door from inside, I laid on my bed. My own words started haunting me, I really overreacted , I should not have said all those things to her.

I closed my eyes trying to get some sleep. Again trying to run away from situation!!

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It's 4.30 PM. Aadarsh bhai and I were on the way to her home. Day after tomorrow, we have party, a business party. Chacha has organized it for the success of our company. We had sent invitation card to Agarwal company, but now going to her house to invite her personally.

When we both entered inside the boundary, we saw her locking the door of her house. She was wearing a high neck frock.

She turned around and got startled seeing both of us there. "Umm.. You are going somewhere? " bhai asked.

"Yes! Actually I am going to my home, " she said totally ignoring my presence which I was expecting. A car stopped in front of her gate.

"Actually we came here to invite to our business party which is day after tomorrow and -" bhai took a pause as he got a call.

"Umm excuse me! " saying he went little away to pick up the call..

"We will be glad if you will come to the party, " I mumbled. She opened the car door, " I am not interested in any parties, " saying she closed the door and pulled up the glass. I let out a thick air from my mouth, she didn't even look at me.

And she left!!

"She left? " bhai asked in shock, I nodded my head, he glared at me.

"Why didn't you stop her? "

"She was getting late, " I lied.

"What she said? Will she come? "

I shook my head, he sighed.

"Then forget about her coming. Because as far as I know, her mom really don't attend any party and here she denied too, " he muttered. I gave him a faint smile.

"We should go then, " saying he started walking, I followed him silently.

How will I talk to her, if we won't meet. I don't want her to forgive me at this moment, I just want to apologize for my words, for my behavior. It's upon her if she will forgive me or not!!

How I wish to bang my head on the road, because it became difficult for me to take steps ahead , I  just want to have a talk with her, to say her that whatever I blabbered in morning isn't what she deserves to hear!

She came just to check me, whether I was okay or not but what I did! Unknowingly I poured all my frustation on her, which I should not..

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Mishti :)

As soon as I entered inside my home, my eyes searched for Mom, my happy place. It was 7.00 pm, so anticipating her to be in kitchen I headed towards it, but she was not there. I went to her room, she was not there too.

I then directly went to upstairs, my room door was opened, light was on. I took fast steps towards it, she was sitting on my bed holding a frame. Seeing me there, she kept the frame aside and stood up. I ran to her and hugged her, some tears dropped from my eyes which I was trying to hold from last few hours..

She rubbed my back and kissing my cheek broke the hug. "Bachha, you are here at this hour! Anything wrong? " she asked cupping my cheeks.

"Do I need a reason to come? "

"No! Of course not. You can come here anytime you want, it's your home. I am always here for you, waiting for you, " she muttered kissing my palm..

"I love you, " saying I hugged her again.

"I love you more! Missed you, "

"Me too, "

I broke the hug and took the frame in my hand. It was our childhood picture, Mom, Me, and bhai. A smile formed on my lips as waves of memory hit me.

"I wish we could go back to our past, " she whispered, a tear dropped from her eyes.

"We can recreat the picture too, " I blurted, she looked at me being surprised.

"Where is bhai and bhabi? " I asked to divert the topic.

"They both went to pick your chacha chachi from airport, " she bit her tongue , my heart jumped in excitement.

"Nooo! It was a surprise for you, but I said it to you, " she pouted.

"Don't worry! I will pretend like I have no idea about his arrival ," I giggled and she too laughed..

"But they both will be surprised seeing you here, " she said with a smile.

I had not seen Chacha from so many days, finally he is coming..

We both planned how to surprise Chacha but when he entered inside, I couldn't hold myself back. I ran to him and hugged him tightly, he was shocked for a second to see me. "Mishti, " he whispered.

"I missed you, "

"Me too, " I whispered..

"All love to him, what about your chachi? " chachi complained, we all chuckled. After having a sweet family moment, I went to my room.

I took a deep breath not wanting to recall all those things. I kept myself at his place, waking up and found yourself in someone's arm when you were drunk, I would have freaked out too.

But still his words were hurting me, I was not ready to hear all this. But somewhere he's right, I should stay away from his life, his personal space. From the day I denied for the marriage proposal, I am going more close to him, which I should not.

Why life is so complicated?

I let out a deep breath, as nothing came to my mind. His anger was obvious. But still it hurts, it hurts to hear something like that from his mouth.

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It was dinner time, we all were gathered in dinning. Bhabi was serving, I was sitting between Chacha and Chachi. Finally after so many days, we all got a chance to have our dinner together.

" Mr Rajvansh has sent an invitation, umm they invited us to there business party which is day after tomorrow, " bhai mumbled looking at me. I focused my gaze on food.

"Shekhar called me personally to come to the party, so we all are going there, " chacha announced, I frowned.

"Umm.. I am not going, " I muttered.

"But why? " chachi asked, I shrugged.

"I just don't want to go to any party , " saying I got up and went to kitchen to clean my hand.

It's 2.00 am, sleep was far away from me. I was getting bored in my room, I tried to watch some movies, but felt lazy after some time, so laid on bed. I got startled as my phone started ringing, I looked at the clock to recheck the time, who's calling me at this hour.

I forwarded my hand and took the phone in my hand. My eyes went wide seeing Abir's name flashing on it. Is it a time to call someone? He's still awake. I kept the phone in silent and rested my head on the headboard of bed.

I picked the phone as I got some notifications, it was again from Abir.

I am outside your home.

My chest tightened seeing his message. I turned off my room light and went to window to check. He was actually there, little away from the gate. He was standing against his car, his gaze was on the phone screen.

It was cold outside, he was not even wearing any jacket.

I am waiting for you

Again a message from him. I just stared at him not knowing what to do. The guards were sleeping inside the gate. I bit my lips.

Stop looking at me from the window, and come here!

My eyes widen seeing the message and I hid beside the curtain.

I ain't going anywhere until I talk to you.

Again a message.

I sat on the bed and looked at the phone screen.

Just to check whether he stays or not I didn't send any reply and laid on the bed. Till when he will keep waiting in this cold weather..

I closed my eyes till sometime. The humanity in me didn't let me sleep, I went near window to check if he's still there or not..

I let out a breath seeing him there lying on the car bonnet. His hand was on his forehead, both leg hanging in the air. I wrapped a shawl around myself and opened my bedroom door slowly. No one was in the downstairs, I picked the gate key from keys stand and opened the door and closed it after I came out.

The guard was sleeping on his chair, I unlocked the gate with the key .

Taking a deep breath, I took steps ahead. Abir looked up hearing my footsteps.

"Ah! Finally you came, take seat! " he said giving me little space.

"It's too late, it will be a problem if anyone of my family see us. So better you leave, " I muttered .

"Why will someone come outside at this hour? I will just take five minutes, don't worry! " he whispered.

Doing an argument with him at this hour will be a waste of time. So I sat beside him, hanging my legs. He sighed, I kept my eyes on the empty road.

After two minutes of silence he finally spoke,

"Sometimes we don't get control over our emotions and feelings. And umm... Today that is exactly what happened.

I really didn't mean to say all those things to you..

I did overreact, I shouted at you, I hurt you which was not my intention. Clearly this was the reason I denied you to follow me. Because from last seven days, I have kept all the frustation inside me. I was drunk yesterday and when I woke, of course my mind was not in a good state, so I just poured all the frustation on you.

From my whole heart, I am apologizing for hurting you both physically and emotionally .

I am sorry,from bottom of my heart , " he concluded.

Again a two minutes silence between us. "I understand! " I mumbled.

"I think I should go now, " I said putting my feet on the road, he too stood up inserting his hands inside his pockets. I had never seen him this much calm and composed which he's now.

"I will be waiting for you in the party, " he muttered getting inside his car.

"I am not going there! " I replied, he let out a small smile.

"Still I will wait, " he whispered making my heart flutter.

I went inside my house and locked the gate, then he left. I let out a breath.

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