Chapter 9: Look into my eyes, and let yourself to get lost

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      "You are not tired of living like this? You are not tired of being alive, after you killed him?" the black-haired asks in an angry yet somehow lost tone, as the younger just stares at the ground.

     The rain already started a few minutes ago, but none of the boys seem to have any intention of going away. Because right now, bad weather is the last thing that matters.

      "Why the hell don't you answer me ?! " the black-haired boy screams again, then punches Jungkook hard in the stomach, and the other one falls to his knees immediately.

      The tattooed boy does not have the courage to look him in the eyes. He can only hear his voice full of pain, letting him beat him. Because it's worth it. He deserves every punch he gets from the one in front of him.

      "Look at him, boys." the boy in front of Jungkook says, looking after at his friends. "He is so fucking selfish that after his own brother's death, he dared to come here, he dared to steal his own brother's dream."

      As soon as he hears those words, Jungkook closes his eyes tightly, feeling how his cheeks start to get wet, knowing that it has nothing to do with the rain. Whoever said that words can hurt worse than any other punch, was not wrong - it is more than true.

       "We should go back to our rooms, Min, someone will catch us. " another boy says, then continues: "What should we do with this idiot?" 

      The black-haired boy sits after on his knees, right in front of Jungkook. He looks at him with a special contempt, feeling how his heart- which was already torn to pieces- presses him with pain. He then pulls his hair, forcing the other one to frown because of the pain.

      "Don't think this will end here, Jeon. Now that I've found you, I'll make sure you will suffer in the worst ways possible, because you did the same. " he says and then lets go of his hair, pushing him, and the younger one falls to the ground. "Derek, Scoot, do me a favor and get some blood out of this bastard. " he says later and turns on his heel, heading in the opposite direction.

       And before another rain falls on him - a rain of punches and kicks - Jungkook can hear the one who once hugged him warmly, saying: "For what you have done, you will not be able to find yourself ever again. "

      And God, that shit... those words hit him tens of times harder than all the blows he received in the following moments. Why? Because he knew that every single damn word... was hella true.

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     The annoying smell of disinfectant and pills makes the long-haired boy frown slowly, trying to open his eyes. He doesn't succeed at first, but in the end he does, and then he tries to adjust his gaze. As soon as the fog clears, the white (non) color greets him. He feels his head heavy and throbbing with pain, as if it were a ball, and someone has played with it hours.

     He looks around with his mind full of questions, and after moving his gaze from the ceiling, he notices where he is: on a bed. But not just any bed, but a hospital bed.

      "Oh, you finally woke up!" a thick but strangely familiar voice catches his attention, then he notices Taehyung gets up from the sofa, and quickly approaches him.

     His hair is scattered, his eyes are extremely red, and his skin is strangely pale. Jungkook wonders if this idiot really didn't sleep at all, but then he realizes that he shouldn't care at all.

      "You really scared everyone yesterday, you idiot. " Taehyung says later, then smiles weakly. "I want to ask you a lot, but I think now the most important question would be: "How are you feeling?' So... how are you feeling, Jeon?" 

     "Like hell."

      That would be the real answer, Jungkook really feels like hell, but he will not say it loud, especially to his roommate. And he doesn't feels only physical like that, but also emotional. While the wounds on his body make his body burn with pain, his soul is more frozen than ever. Last night he saw one of the most important people of his past, one of the ghosts of a few days when he, Jeon Jungkook, could even say he was happy. But not anymore. 

     He really can't remember the last time he really smiled. Probably when he was alive, when he was on his right. And last night's meeting with the black-haired boy reopened his wounds from the past, wounds that will most likely never heal. That boy's words really made his heart cuts herself, even though he knew that everything he heard was nothing but the truth.

   "You are not tired of living like this? You are not tired of being alive, after you killed him?"

     Oh yeah, he is more than just tired of life. And he knows. He knows he doesn't deserve to breathe, he knows how unfair that is. But no matter how hard he tries to stop breathing, he can't do that. Because he promised him.

"He is so fucking selfish that after his own brother's death, he dared to come here, he dared to steal his own brother's dream."

       No, the last thing Jungkook wants to do is steal the dream of someone who meant more than anyone else. He struggled to get to that university, precisely because it was his brother's dream. That's why he can't afford mistakes, that's why he has to sacrifice everything in order to be among the first.

"For what you have done, you will not be able to find yourself ever again. "

       He knows. He knows it's more than just true. He knows he will never be able to find himself again. Not when all the shadows of the past lurk in the darkness, stealing any trace of light. But he doesn't even want to find himself. Because he's not worth it. His damned soul must suffer forever for his heart to escape at least a little of that guilt.

       "Dude, you are okay?" his roommate's voice forcibly pulls Jungkook out from his thoughts, then looks at him more than lost.

      He opens his mouth to answer, but as soon as he notices what he has on his left hand, he loses all contact with reality, and the words seem to get stuck in his throat. His breathing becomes faster and faster, while he becomes more and more agitated.

       "Jeon, what happened? You... you're not feeling well, do you want me to call the doctor? " Taehyung asks worriedly, because yes, again he has no idea what he should do.

        "Ta- take... take off the infusions!" the younger boy manages to say in a loud and panicked voice, while he tries to get up, but in vain, due to the fact that he is extremely weak at the moment.

        "What? You want me to do what?"

      The older one is behind confused and pretty scared at the moment. He can not tell what the fuck happens again with Jeon Jungkook. Every single time, God! There must to be some drama-shit because of this idiot!

         "Pl-please, Tae! Take off ... take the infusions off from my hand! "

      The boy with the bandanna has no idea if he hears well, or if he is still dreaming. Is his colleague begging him something, and he's almost crying? And why did he suddenly become so pale and why he trembles so much? Why does he just seem unable to move? Why does he act like he's just dying because of little needles? Is his fear of some simple needles so big? Is he really ... so scared of them?

         "Jungkook, calm down. Everything will be fine!" Taehyung says later, and immediately afterwards, he presses a button next to his colleague's bedside.

     That button is installed in every hospital room, and the doctors are announce that they are needed in a respective room. And Taehyung can not risk leaving the room to call personal a doctor, while Jungkook is in this state!

     When he realizes that Jungkook is not going to stop breathing hard, and when he sees that the other one starts crying silently as well, he sits down on the chair next to him, and the next thing he does, makes him feel more than just a strange sensation around his chest.

        "Shh, you are okay, Jeon. Nothing will happen." the older one whispers in his thick, yet soft tone, as he takes his left hand and strokes it with his own hands.

      The more than unpredictable, but somewhat reassuring action of the older one, makes Jungkook stop in a few minutes from his minor panic attack, while he fails to realize too many things. At this moment, he does not realize why Kim Taehyung, the one he has been insulting and trying to hate him, is holding his hand, trying to calm him down. But more than that, he really can't figure out why this gesture seems to really relax him.

      How is it possible that the one he argued with just a few hours ago, the one he swore at, is now here, next to him, holding his hand? And why? Why, after all that has happened, Taehyung not yet come to hate him? Why ... why doesn't he seem to be able to keep all the walls he created intact? Why does he feel more and more that he could really talk to his roommate about what trully kills his soul? Why at the moment, he doesn't really care that he is on a hospital bed, or that he has infusions (needles!) In his left arm?

        "I... I really can't stand those, Tae. I have to ... you have to tell the doctor to take the perfusion  off me. " Jungkook says in a defeated and extremely embarrassed voice, feeling his pride already destroyed.

       But to his surprise, the idiot next to him does not answer as usual in a sarcastic tone, or with a wicked joke. Instead, he nods slightly, then says:

       "I got you, Jeon. I will talk with the doctor, I promise." he comments and the younger one can not fucking understand, why he feels the need to believe him. "Just stay as calm as possible, until he arrives."

       "I... I can not. I can... I can feel them in my skin." the younger one admits, as the older one tries his best to not lose his control. 

     He really has no idea where the hell all the doctors are! He's been pressing that button for more than five minutes, damn it! This whole situation is starting to get awkward, but he tries to be as relaxed as possible, so as not to agitates the other boy again.

       "Then look at me. Look in my eyes, Jeon. No need to talk, just... just keep focus on my eyes." the bandanna boy suggest, as the other one starts glancing at his eyes. 

      If he weren't so desperate, Jungkook wouldn't do that in any case. But right now, everything looks better than looking at those damn needles in his skin! Yes, he is so desperate that he even looks straight into the eyes of Kim Taehyung - the idiot with whom he started arguing from his first day in university.

       "I hope you know that all this crap... not change the fact that I still can't stand you. " Jungkook manages to speaks, even though his voice is still quite shaky. 

      The older one just smirks, refrains himself from rolling his eyes, and still holding Jungkook's left hand in his own hands. The fact that even at this moment the idiot Jungkook can't give up on his annoying remark, makes him extremely amused.

       "Good, because I still can't stand you either."

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Yeah, new chapter boommm

I really wait for more comments cuz a chapter is really hard to write, and your comments means a lot to me

Maybe u think this action is way too fast, but I have a lot of ideas in my mind, so yeah:)

Drama queen in action very soonnnn

Hehe😂😂❤