Chapter 24: A short kiss, meant to ward off the storm

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      "Why are you doing this, Kookie? Why?" the shorter-haired boy asks, looking worriedly at the other boy.

     The younger boy sighs as if he is more than just tired of hearing the same dumb question, and then he looks up at the older boy, trying to be as calm as possible.

     "When the world is no longer a paradise, people have no choice but to survive as best they can. " Jungkook answers in a low tone, while his red eyes look crazy around the room.

     He can't remember where he last left his injection, he just forgot. Ah, damn it!

      "And this is your way of surviving? Really, Jungkook? You think this is the best one?" the older one asks in the same worried tone, which just makes the other one to rolls his eyes, already annoyed on his brother. 

    Again and again. The same boring and stupid conversation. 

     "Just shut up, Hoseok. I really can not understand why are you here. Go and be the perfect son for your parents." the longer-haired boy says, sitting on the bed and breathing a little more alertly, slowly feeling the effects of the drug begin to take hold.

      "You wanna say "our parents", Kook. They are your parents as well." Hoseok comments, then takes a sit next to his younger brother, on the bed.

      "Those people are not my parents. They can't be, as long as they don't consider me their son, right? " this time Jungkook's voice is even more desolate than before, and before Hoseok strokes his head, he quickly gets up from the bed, almost stumbling.

      "This is not true, and you know that. What the told back then, was just-"

      "What? What they said then were just words because of the anger? Is that what you mean, Hobi?" the younger one interrupts him, starting to lose his patience. 

      "Jungkook. they-"

      "Would you tell to your child that he should just die? Would you say that, Hobi? Would you tell him what a big mistake he is? " Jungkook raises his voice as tears well up from his eyes and his mind becomes even more clouded because of the drugs.

     Hoseok just takes a deep breath, knowing already in what state his brother is. Unfortunately, this is not the first time. It's not the first time he's found him like this, somewhere in between reality and madness. And yes, he tried to help him, he tried to make him see how wrong this addiction is. But in vain, he failed.

      "You should sleep, the drugs are already taking control over your body. " the older boy says, and as soon as he tries to touch his brother, Jungkook pushes him hard and the other one falls to the floor.

      "Leave me alone! Stop trying to save me, you idiot! Can't you see? I'm already lost! " Jungkook starts screaming as Hoseok slowly gets up from the floor, then approaches his brother again, not caring that he might be dangerous.

     "You are my little brother, I will always be here to save you." Hoseok's loving voice makes the younger one to frowns. "And if you're lost, I'll do my best to find you, Kook. Believe me, I'll help you, even if it's the last thing I do. " he then says and the next gesture, forces Jungkook to give in.

      The older boy hugs him carefully, as if he is afraid of doing more harm than he has already done himself, while Jungkook only feels his heart break even more than before. And in a few seconds, the boy who was screaming, begins to cry out loud, as if he is a small child.

       "I... I just want to be loved, Hobi. I want to be loved." these whispers makes Hoseok to close his eyes painfully, feeling his own heart break.

      "You are, Kook. I love you a lot, and you know that." the older one whispers at his turn, then he caresses the other's back carefully, trying to calm him down. "Remember that when people try to step on you, your brother will always be there to protect you. Whatever happens, I will never leave you. " he says and immediately after that, he breaks his embrace, smiling warmly at the younger one.

     And Jungkook just looks at him in a numb gaze, not knowing what is stronger: the drugs he used half an hour before, or the guilt he feels at the moment.

      "You will destroy yourself, Hoseok. Trying to save me, you will destroy yourself. " the long-haired boy says that later, while his breathing becomes more and more heavier.

      "Then I will gladly destroy myself." Hoseok replies in the same warm voice, then smiles again, even if it is just a fake smile. "Now let put you on sleep. You need some." he says after, but the younger one just looks at him without thinking at anything. 

       "Hobi, you think I should die as well? And you think I make everyone's life a lot harder? Should I ... should I die? " Jungkook asks without noticing how quickly his brother's smile falls, and a grimace full of pain replaces his angelic expression.

      "Never, Kook. Never say that again. Whatever happens, never say that again! " he raises his voice, then closes his eyes in frustration. "You know what I've always told you about summer rain, don't you? You know I told you that no matter how beautiful she is, you have to have someone to enjoy her with. And you've always been the first one I chose to share my summer rain with. The last thing I want is for you to die, Jungkook."

     "What if one day I die without you knowing? What if you just hear that you have to come to my funeral? "

    "Your life has just begun. It can't end so quickly, just because of any dark thoughts you have in your mind. You see, the light you have to find is not beyond this life, but close to you. "

     And the younger one just rolls his eyes again, too tired to still fight. The light? There is no such thing in his life.

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   "Kook?" 

     This voice. It's the same thick, worried voice that the tattooed boy has been hearing lately, or at least the one he used to hear. 

     As soon as he manages to open his eyes, he sees Taehyung next to him, already looking at him with tears in his eyes, red and swollen (he looks as if he is the one who took drugs).

    "Wh- Why I am here?" Jungkook's hoarse voice urges the older boy to take a glass of water from his right, and then gives to Jungkook to drink carefully.

     The younger boy is a little surprised by the gesture, but he is too thirsty to comment on anything. And as soon as the glass of water empties, Taehyung puts it back on the small cupboard next to the bed, looking at his roommate.

     "Why the hell do you think we're here? Because an idiot thought it would be great to take an overdose of poison. " the sarcastic voice soaked with concern makes the other one to chuckles subtly, though it's not exactly a funny situation.

     "Oh yeah, I forgot about that." the younger one replies in a somehow amused tone, but the older one just glance at him in a serious way. 

     "Are you really going to treat this situation like a joke? Again this bullshit, Jungkook? " the bandanna-boy asks, voice serious, trying not to punch the younger one. 

     How the hell can he joke about what happened? Hell, Taehyung thought he was going to die because of his worries! And now he's talking like he didn't take an overdose and didn't have convulsions like he was fighting between life and death?

     "Why are you here, Kim? I thought I was pretty clear when I last spoke. " Jungkook prefers to change the subject, and the other looks at him carefully, trying to be as calm as possible.

      "What I said when we argued last time, was not true, Jungkook. I don't regret falling in love with you, and I don't care if you don't feel or you will never feel the same way." Taehyung comments, then looks at his roommate's left hand. "I will continue to be with you even if you don't want to. I will continue to take care of you from the shadows, if I can't from the light. You know why? Because you will always be the sunrise and at the same time my sunset, Kook. It took me a while to figure it out, but I did it in the end. "

     If time stood still every time such a moment happens, it would be wonderful. If anyone could photograph such moments every time, it would be nice. But no, such moments pass as fast as they arrive. And even if Jungkook were to say that he was not moved and pleasantly surprised by these words, he would simply be lying. If he said that his heart did not smile and that something did not just flies in his stomach, he would lie again. But he must not allow these reactions to be seen by the older one. 

      This is not the time or place for the two to have such a discussion. Because yes, in the last hours when the bandanna-boy was gone, Jungkook felt a strange emptiness in his soul, and in the end, he realized who had left that emptiness. No one but his roommate. And yes, he realized that he (maybe!) have started to see Taehyung as more than just a roommate or friend, even if he shouldn't. 

     But after the visit to Yoongi, after the silver-haired boy made him realize who he really is, he figured out the most important thing: he can't afford to have feelings for anyone, especially for someone as pure and perfect as Kim Taehyung. That would only mean ruining his life as well, and Jungkook really can't do that.

      "What the hell are you talking about, Kim? I thought I was the one who just got high. " the tattooed boy tries to push other walls forward, but the other one doesn't seem willing to let him, because as soon as the older one takes his cold left-hand between his own warmer hands, Jungkook seems to completely forget what the hell is going on, while a red color appears on his cheeks instantly.

      "I'm not asking for love, Jungkook. I ask you to let me offer you this. Because you deserve it. You deserve to feel what it means to be loved, what it means to love yourself. "

      If words could really heal a wound, then the tattooed boy could swear that what he just heard, he managed to sew one of the open wounds in his soul. But no. Again, he can't receive any beautiful feelings and some words soaked in rose petals of love. Why? Because, this time, Taehyung is wrong. 

      He does not deserve. He does not deserve love, patience, hope, happiness, or anything beautiful on this planet. He deserves only the thorns of the roses, but not their pleasant aroma. He's just worth the pain, nothing else. It may seem a bit dramatic or exaggerated, but it is the pure and bitter truth.

      "Stop." the younger one starts, trying to refrains his voice from breaking, as he looks at the older one. "Stop trying to give love to someone who doesn't deserve it. Stop wasting your tears and kindness for someone whose desire is to die as soon as possible. It is not worth it, Tae. I am not worth it." he comments after in a more wounded tone, and the older one just smiles a little.

     He then gets up from his chair, letting go of Jungkook's left hand. The tattooed boy is already feeling his hand freezing again. He doesn't like the feeling, but he doesn't want to admit it. Immediately after that, Taehyung bends over him, and the next gesture he makes, brings back the scarlet color on the younger one's cheeks, while his heart forgets how to beat normally.

      Taehyung kisses briefly but warmly his forehead, smiling proudly that he had managed to make the boy that he seemed willing to quarrel again, a few seconds ago, look so shy.

      "You are more than just worth it." Taehyung's warm breath over his face, makes Jungkook to close his eyes involuntarily, then he can hear the older one's chuckle. "I go after the doctor." 

     As soon as he hears the door, he manages to open his eyes, while he feels his cheeks no longer until they explode. That bastard managed to destroy the whole bad boy mask for sure, damn him! 

     "What the hell I am supposed to do now?"

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Yeah, a new chapter uwuuuu

I will not say it is boring (even if issss) because I will probably be killed by some of uuu

Some baby steps on their relationship hehe

I wait for your opinionsss

Question: What do you think about the characters? Who do you think is the most complex?