Chapter 20: You deserve the sunrise, not a closed sunset

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     "What did you do that for? Taehyung, why the hell did you do that?! " Jungkook raises his voice, glancing at the older one in a not-so-happy way.

     Taehyung meets his gaze pretty unbothered, then sighs. If he weren't in this situation, he'd certainly make a joke about how cute Jungkook is when he's actually trying to look angry. But it is not possible at the moment.

      "That idiot deserved every punch. I'm not sorry, maybe I'm a little sorry, because I didn't pull out any of his teeth, besides that broken nose. " the boy with the bandanna mumbles in a childish way, and the other one just looks at him intently, still trying to understand if his roommate is not joking.

       "He's in the hospital, you idiot! Because of you! " Jungkook raises his voice again, and this time Taehyung rolls his eyes.

       Maybe you thought Taehyung would be more responsible, given that he is the captain of the football team. But not when it comes to Jungkook (you might be wondering why). Well, he's not sure either. But when he felt that he could no longer hide and listen to what humiliating words the Yoongi bastard was saying to Jungkook, he did not cared about the consequences, or anything else. He just thought of him.

       Jungkook's voice came to his mind, but the true one. The one who was not full of disappointment, fear or disgust towards himself (as he had been at the time because of the silver-head). The pain from the tattooed's boy face, forced him to go straight to Yoongi, without waiting for any other signal, only to later throw a rain of fists over him. And he didn't stop when he heard people around him start talking. Not even when Jungkook started screaming. He stopped when the idiot Yoongi fell unconscious, while blood began to flow from his nose, as if it were a fountain.

      Wondering if he was even a little sorry? The answer is simple and quite obvious: not at all. If he was after him, he really wanted to kill the bastard for all the suffering he had inflicted on Jungkook. But yeah, he still is human, for God sake! So he just put his fists on his ugly face. Better, right?

      "Really, Jungkook? Weren't you there because of him as well? Are you really defending him now? After all the nonsense he did? After all the pain it caused you?! " this time the older boy raises his voice, and the other one seems to think for a moment.

       Yeah, If you think about it, Yoongi also sent Jungkook to the hospital. But the pain that the boy with the tattoos caused to the silver-head does not compare with the physical one, which the older one caused to him. 

      "He... he was- You have no idea what this is about, Kim. You have no idea why he did all this, so you should stay away from this. " Jungkook gets confused in his own words at the begging,  and the other one just looks at him irritably.

       "You already told me. Because his boyfriend died trying to save you. But that doesn't entitle him to do all this! No way." the bandanna-boy insists, and the younger one moves his eyes to the floor.

        "You don't know the whole story. You shouldn't speak for me, Kim. You shouldn't look at this from such an open perspective, given that you have no idea what really happened in the past. "

      Taehyung has no idea why these words hurt him in so much. Maybe it's because they make him realize how far he is from the tattooed boy. Or how closed Jungkook is in himself, how hidden from him, but also from his own person. It is as if the younger boy is sitting on one of the tallest towers, and Taehyung does not have enough strength to reach the top.

        "Then tell me, Kook. Tell me your past."

       The younger boy can't tell if he is winces subtly because of the strangely warm nickname, or because of the requirement itself. To tell him about his past? Did Taehyung really asked that? Did he really ask him to talk about the ugliest part of his life? About those days when the sun didn't reach him and the darkness was his only friend? To tell him how many tears he used to shed in the corner of the room every night? To admit how much he started to lose himself?

     N-No. He is not strong enough to talk about it. 

        "W-we are not that close, Kim."

     Bruh, this sentence really can do some damage, y'know? You would say that Taehyung is already used to such words, but every time hurts him more and more. Hell, he hates when he hears things like this, from the idiot in front of him!

        "I thought I'd come to find your sunset, Jeon. " Taehyung says in a strangely low, flat tone, and the other one looks at him in surprise. "I thought I was getting close to you, because lately, you're ... always in my head. You are always the source of my worries. " he continues and the younger one feels more than just guilty.

        "I didn't tell you to worry about me. " Jungkook responds like an idiot, in a cold and distant tone, and the older one just chuckles bitterly.

        "Yeah, I know. You never tell me anything, that's the thing! You just want to hide from everyone, you want to live in your own shadow, away from others! But guess what? There are people out there who would do anything to help you, only if you let them do it! Damn it! I kept trying, but I only managed to hurt my own heart! "

      Words. True words, but they hurt so much. Jungkook feels that this day can be framed in the darkest days of his life. 

       "Then why did you keep trying to help me? Why did you keep trying to fix me when I'm more than damaged, Tae ?! "

       "Because I fucking started to love you!"

        Not even a sound. If a moment ago, they both screamed like they didn't have much time until will fight, now you can't even hear the two of them breathing. But you can read the expressions on their faces: Jungkook's face is full of amazement, while Taehyung's is angry.

       Why the hell does a human tend to tell the most hidden truths when he's on another level of disappointment? Because yes, Taehyung really didn't want to admit what he was trying to hide even from himself in this way. He must have realized for a while that he had begun to see Jungkook more than just as a friend, but he kept trying to tell himself he was wrong. But it seems that when you are angry, you tend to talk with your heart, and not with your brain.

       "You... You what?"

      No, this must be a joke or something. It's not possible for Taehyung to be serious, is it? How the hell could he start loving someone like Jungkook? How could anyone love someone as destroyed as him?

        "I... I love you, Jeon." the older one tells in a calmer tone this time, but then he glance at the younger one. "But I'm starting to hate this. I start to hate that I felt in love with your smile, with your warm voice and your childish character, while you try to look cold. I'm starting to regret that I chose to see beyond all the high walls that you have been building, to see a small and vulnerable boy who wants nothing more than love. Because I realized how hard it is to love someone who is not able to love himself. "

      It is probably one of the few times that Jungkook starts crying in front of Taehyung, without even trying to hide. It's probably the first time he's made him to cry. Why is he crying? Because he no longer feels able to cry only in his soul. Taehyung is right. Who the hell could love a person who wants nothing more than to disappear as soon as possible? Out of all the people which don't have a lot of problems in their life, did the boy with the bandanna choose to fall in love with the worst one? 

        "I... I fucking hate you!" 

     This time, the older one seems more than just confused. He can't understand how this conversation escalated so quickly. I mean, yeah, he didn't expect Jungkook to feel the same way he does, but he wasn't expected to be so harsh with his rejection as well.

       "I guess it-"

       "I hate you because you chose to fall in love with an garbage like me, Kim! " the younger boy interrupts him, and the other one just keeps quiet and listens to him. "I hate that, a man as beautiful as you, looked at someone as dirty as me! Damn it, Tae! I'm nothing but someone who should have died a long time ago! Damn it!"

     Have you ever heard the expression: hurting someone is like throwing a stone into the ocean because you don't know how deep it could hit? Well yeah, the bandanna-boy really feels this expression at the moment. He feels his heart break slowly and painfully with every insult that Jungkook throws at his own person. He feels how all those heavy and ugly words sting him directly in the soul, and steal his happiness, transforming it into a black pitch of sadness.

       "You see, no one can choose who to fall in love with, Jeon. " the older boy says in a tired tone, and a tear falls from his own left eye. "And I don't think you understand how much you hurt me when you talk like that about yourself. You can't imagine how painful it is to hear the person you love talking like that. I thought I'd gotten used to it by now, but it seems like it's getting worse every time. " he says later, while other tears fall on his cheeks.

     And you can't really tell if the whole scene is funny or sad: two men in their twenties, crying like teenagers, talking about what they think and feel. Maybe it is kinda cringe too? But hey! Who are we to judge, right?

       "You should get that idea out of your mind, Kim. You should try to stop loving me, because this is nothing but pure madness. I no longer have the power to destroy another person's life, and if you continue to see me this way, that's what will happen for sure. "

     Taehyung looks him straight in the eyes. He tries to guess what feelings are hiding behind those two galaxies full of tears, but he can't figure it out. He can't figure out what's really in Jungkook's mind, heart and soul right now. And that's much more than annoying.

       "And I don't have the strength to fight for someone who doesn't want to fight. " the older boy says, then smiles weakly and bitterly. "So I should probably try to stop ... from feeling what I feel for you. Because I can't find your sunset beautiful, Jungkook, no matter how much I look at it. Because what should feel like a blessing, it feels like a curse. I should be more than just happy because I felt for the first time what it's like to love, but it's just the opposite. And it feels like shit."

      Jungkook nods, smiling bitterly at his own. Yeah, he is a curse, he knows that.

        "We... we should keep the distance from now on." the younger one manages to tell, even if the words seem to hurt him as well. 

      And well, you can guess already that Taehyung doesn't feel really good at the moment. 

        "I hope that one day you will stop from cutting your hands with the broken pieces of your heart. "

       And that's the last sentence Taehyung says, and then he leaves the room, slamming the door behind him. And behind him, you can see a boy letting his soul to cry, and one last whisper is heard in the annoying silence from the room:

        "I chose to suffer, because I don't want you to see the sunset as well. "

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Yeah, new chapter uwuuuu and the drama is backkkkkk

You guessed it, we're at the half of the book hehe:)))

I don't know why, but I liked it a little, even if it's not very interesting

I wait for your opinions anywayyy

Question: Would you like to read a book of mine in English, but a boyxgirl? I'm thinking of writing one on the other account:)