"On no soul does He place a burden greater then it can bear."

Ever since I was young I lived by those words. A phrase I regularly repeated in my head like a mantra, getting me through many difficult situations. These were the words that built me, and broke me.

The problem wasn't the verse, no, of course not; it was my interpretation of it. Over time and obsession the meaning warped inside me.

"You are strong. You can become stronger," it said.

"You don't need help," I read.

I held onto those words like a lifeline and choked myself with it. You don't need help. You don't need help. In the times I did, I beat myself for it. When I succeeded, it seemed like the natural thing to do. I set the hurdle too high and practiced jumping off cliffs.

If I couldn't do something on my own I was stupiddumbuselessweakweakweakweak-

By the time I remembered the true meaning of His message, I had already burnt the words into my heart and refused to let it heal. Over and over again I made me bleed because I thought I should.

Being unable to do something didn't mean you were useless and being strong didn't mean you never needed help. So I poked and prodded at my wound, what about you? I asked. What are you?

It hurts, it screamed, I am an old wound yet still raw and bleeding because you reopened me to check if I was still there.

I want to be a scar, it pleaded. I want to be a memory. It cried in mistakes and drowned in ignorance.

Yeah, my voice trembled. Yeah, it hurts. It hurts.

Let's learn how to be weak.