Oh, how I've missed you all, and this book! Writing these characters again has been so amazing! I already had the start to this chapter written, so it was really easy coming back to it.

Hi guys! Long time no see! I am so sorry for the extremely long wait. I won't explain it all here, if you want to read about that you can go to my profile and read my announcements there about it. I have really missed writing for my books, but I'm back with a new schedule, so if you read any of my other books, you can also find the schedule for that on my page. I hope you enjoy!

My hands feel cold, and although Ashton turning the temperature dial up after I shiver, my hands don't get any warmer. I know it's due to the nerves of how Ryder and Trystan's parents will react to seeing me at the party. Hopefully, by how they were talking about their parents and parties earlier, Ryder and Trystan's parents won't notice that I'm there.

I didn't have many options as to what I wear. The least casual thing I have is more suitable for work than a party. Ashton's mom had offered up some of her clothes, but it didn't feel right to wear something of hers even with her approval, so I fudged the most party suitable outfit from the clothes I had. I instantly regretted it when I saw Ashton accompanied by Jesse and Storm, all in collared shirts of varying designs, and chinos. They had all lied or at least extended the truth when they said that I looked great, but compared to them I might as well have been dressed in a trash bag. I was not only casual but cheap.  I had to try and make up for it with my hair and makeup, but that wasn't even enough to drastically change it. It was only jeans and a vest at the end of the day.

My knee jiggles up and down, and after trying to stop it, it only gets worse. I stare out of the window at the dark streets. I don't want to admit to myself the other reasons for my nerves, that the last time I attended a party I was given Sophie. Would they be the same as I remembered? Had they drastically changed in the three years I hadn't attended one? Were LA parties different from British ones?

Will it be like the twisted, monstrous version that I go to in my nightmares? I couldn't tell whether my brain had changed the memory with time, or if that's how it was. I understood deep down that it was the first, but with every nightmare, it felt even more real and closer to the truth of that night.

Music is playing subtly through the speakers of the car, it being the only sound between the four of us.

I watch out the window, looking for signs that I recognise as being close to Ryder and Trystan's so I can count down the seconds until we arrive.

I should be excited about their birthday party, I know that, but when the other boys are just as hesitant about it, it doesn't help.

I hadn't bought them a present in all the stress over the last week, so it doesn't help that, too, is gnawing at my insides. Arriving empty-handed will probably only cause their parents to dislike me more.

It's too late for shops to be open, but all the same, I watch out for any that could still have a light on, on our journey.

We pull down their street with no luck of finding a shop. My anxiety gets worse when I notice that there are no spaces. Parties aren't important to be on time too, but it does show willing, to arrive around the right time. It also would be another excuse for their parents. At the thought, my breathing gets shallower and faster. This is a stupid idea. It's been three years, but I'm still not ready to go back to a party, especially with the first one being somewhere where I will already feel uncomfortable. Everything in me says to get Ashton to turn the car around, but Trystan and Ryder need us, and I can go through short-term discomfort for them. It might do me good to see that parties aren't as monstrous as I think them to be.

Before I can even form the words in my head, Asthon is indicating and pulling to the side of the road.

"It's free," Jesse says looking out of his windows.

"I don't have any coins on me, so we'd be screwed if it weren't," Ashton says, turning the engine off. The car grows even more silent, and I fear I'll lose myself to it. I don't get time to think about it, with the guys exiting the car, and I'm thankful. Jesse walks to my door opening it for me, giving me a dazzling grin. I can't help but smile back. I recall the first day of school, and him helping when I was pushed, and I give him a small genuine smile back. The guys will have my back, as they always have.

I clamber out of the car. Jesse pushes a gift bag toward me, and I move out of the way on instinct, but he moves it back toward me.

"What-"

"For Trystan and Ryder. There's something in there for each of them. It's from all of us, but we thought it might be more of a present coming from you."

"I didn't pay..." I start, looking from each boy to the next.

"It's from all of us, Bella," Storm says moving past me. I turn before going back to the guys still standing in front of me.

My heart swells. I'm part of their 'us'. "Thank you," I murmur, grinning wider now one of the worries has left. I glance down into the bag, at the two presents and wonder what they are. I don't bother trying to get them to let me pay them back, as I know I'll just get a rebuttal, so I tell myself that I'll worry about it later, following after Storm.

The walk isn't long, the heat from the day leaving when the sun set. It's so drastically different to what I was expecting, that a shiver wracks my body.

Getting to the apartment building, we find people lining the streets, waiting to go in. It reminds me of a scene you would see outside a nightclub.

Surely all the people here can't fit inside their apartment, and I dread to think how many are already up there. I know it's big, but wouldn't it have been better to be housed somewhere else.

Jesse walks ahead, the rest of us lingering back by the line of cars. A bouncer eyes Jesse warily, and it's then that I realise how different these parties actually are. There's security, but I guess they have to allow people in somehow. Jesse and the bouncer exchange hushed words, and he nods once. With a motion back at us, Jesse enters the building holding the door open. Cries from the people waiting here, for however long, go up and I rush in trying to get out of their disapproving glares.

It's a lot quieter when Jesse lets the door fall shut behind us, and I take a breath to compose myself. The entrance is a lot quieter, and when we get to the lifts we're the only ones riding in it. I take every moment of the silence I can now, preparing myself for blasting music when the doors finally open.

I'm not wrong. The doors open, and music almost pushes me back into the lift. The bass is pounding, and the chatter of people makes it even worse, hitting at the sides of my head like jackhammers.

Ashton nudges me forward with a hand on my back, and we're met outside the lift by a waitress holding out a tray of drinks. The expensive flutes hold champagne, and although the legal age in the UK to drink is 18 in public, most people do it younger. If you're with an adult, it's legal. But legality doesn't stop people. My mum's put me off drink for life, and after the last alcohol experience, I decline the drink offered to me, and the waitress takes the gift bag from me. I want to complain, but she's walking away before I can. The guys, drink-less too, move further into the party.

I was right, the apartment is jam-packed with people. and Storm moves ahead of us to try and help push people out of the way. In the middle of the incessant number of people, the noise has grown even louder, and I get hints of people's conversations around me. Most of the people here are adults, looking too old to be Trystan and Ryder's friends, and when we break through a group of people, I find their parents welcoming people to the party as if it's theirs. I can't help but feel sorry for the guys further, as they already didn't want it.

Hoping to evade them, I stand beside Storm who goes in the opposite direction of them, thankfully.

As we get further into the crowd, it never seeming to end, I whip my head from left to right expecting to see Jack somewhere nearby, or Tanner or both.

"You ok?" Ashton calls over the music. I nod my head jerkily, not really aware of how I'm answering him. He places a hand on my arms, attempting to calm me I assume, but I pull away from him as soon as he does. My breathing is fast and labored. My head swims around me, threatening to cause me to faint. I try to get my bearings in the middle of the crowd, looking for Storm, Ashton, or Jesse, or even any of the other guys but I can't see them, my vision not able to focus one thing. Every thought enters my brain in a haze, and I feel as if everyone around me isn't actually there like I'm in a dream. If I were to reach out would my hand not meet them? Would they stay just out of reach?

A hand clutches onto mine, and I focus all of my attention on that. It's the only thing that is real to me right now, everything else might as well be a blur around me. A cold breeze touches my cheeks and I take that information in as well, clutching onto it. My other senses slowly come back to me, the conversations starting up around me again.

"Is she OK?" a male voice asks, worried, and my brain slowly clicks the pieces together until I know it to be Trystan.

I'm pushed down onto something soft and a hazy figure with caramel skin, short dark hair drops into my line of sight.

"Bambi," Ashton calls my attention. It's Ashton, I register, but it still takes me a moment to be able to respond. "Bambi, I need you to breathe, OK?"

I nod, my movements jerky still, but I don't follow his advice. I can't.

"Bambi," he calls more sharply. I can hear the other guys in the background, but I don't take any of their words in. "Breathe."

I finally take my first breath on my own command, and things slowly start to reinstate around me again. I didn't know fast I was breathing until just now.

"Good," Ashton says, his tone calmer. I meet his chocolate gaze, and he smiles at me.

"Jeez, and I thought my entrance into the party was stressful," Brody says. I can't help a meek smile that comes to my lips. I was right. They're always here for me!

There you go, my first chapter back with this book. I really did mean what I said earlier about loving this book, I didn't realise how much I missed this book and these characters, so I hope you enjoy it just as much as I did.

Fun fact: my dad starting drinking from the age of 6(? maybe even younger) which is perfectly legal in the UK (the law says you can drink from the age of 5 at home with a parent). I just want to say I DO NOT condone this beahviour, and do NOT recommend doing that and was absolutely shocked that he did when he first told me. He would have a glass of wine with dinner.

What did you think?

What do you think will happen next?

It's so good to be back! I'll see you again in a couple of weeks - I'm so sorry for the long wait, but I'm sure it'll be worth it, and it could even be with more than one update. Depending on how it goes, I could decrease the time between updates. I just need to see how it goes as I haven't tested it out yet.)

Thank you for reading, voting, commenting, sharing, and following!

CC ;)