Charlize pushed open the office door as she returned from the therapy session with one of the inmates. She seemed to have forgotten Jonathan was still in her office and paused at the unexpected sight.

He had taken the books to the couch but dozed off while reading. His spectacles were still balanced on his nose, but his eyes were shut, and the book lay open on his chest. 

He must have been exhausted, she thought, closing the door carefully. 

She didn't wake him up just yet, letting him rest a bit while she sorted her files at her desk and took notes on the recent session.

However, her eyes flickered toward him time and again.

The soft evening sunlight filtered in through the window, partially illuminating his peaceful figure. The lines on his face had eased, and a calmness engulfed him that he seemed to lack in his waking moments.

She hoped they would get to see the day when he would be just as calm and at peace while he was awake, too, with nothing weighing down his mind and no regrets clouding his decisions. Charlize didn't know the man he used to be, but in all the time she had spent with him, she knew that he deserved his second chance and was working hard to make the best of it.

Jonathan was a good man, or at least he was almost there. He was trying to move on from his past, and it could only be possible if the people close to him, including her, started seeing him for the man he was in the present and not in the past.

She closed her notebook and left her seat, coming close to the couch. He hadn't even stirred, but time was ticking, and he could have other things to tend to at home, too.

"Jonathan?" She called gently, waiting for him to wake up.

It took him some time to wake up, the striking blue of his eyes looking up in soft brown. He got startled and sat up immediately, and the book slipped off his hands.

"It's alright. You're safe," she replied gently, taking the seat close to the couch.  

Picking up the book from the floor, she handed it to him. He was exasperated at first but seeing her eyes free of judgment and a neutral but kind expression on her face, he relaxed.

"I didn't realize when I fell asleep," he spoke up.

"You must have been tired. How do you feel now?"

He thought about it before replying, "Much better. I guess I needed that nap."

"That's good. You shouldn't overwork yourself and find some time to rest whenever you can."

An awkward silence lingered between them until Jonathan gathered the books and readjusted his spectacles. His ears turned red, realizing that Doctor Fischer was much closer to him than the usual distance both of them maintained.

"I will try my best," he mumbled, shifting slightly on the couch. 

She noticed and leaned back, giving him enough space, "Well, David called a while ago. I was still in the therapy rooms, so Mister Hanson received it."

"David? My lawyer?"

"Yes," she resumed, "he wants us to have dinner with him tonight. He said he had a surprise."

"Us, as in?"

"You, me, and Mister Hanson. He said he was calling you but couldn't reach you."

Jonathan checked his phone, which was on silent mode, and found quite a number of missed calls from David Thompson. 

"That's... Unexpected," he mumbled, unable to recall the last time he had talked to the man.

"So, will you go?"

He paused, "Should I?"

"Of course. You can come with us if you want," she suggested, telling him that Miguel had offered to take them from the asylum and drop them back off once they got free.

Jonathan looked down at his phone and saw that he had just received a text from David. He considered it and then texted back, saying he would be there.

"Alright, I hope I am not being too much of a bother today..."

"Not at all," she smiled, "both of us enjoy your company."

He paused, not expecting that response. Being told that someone enjoyed his company was a first for him. It was the kind of compliment he had never thought about receiving even back when he was perceived normal and a respectable citizen of Gotham.

"Well, you can stay here and read while I make my reports, or you can go and visit Mister Hanson," she stood up from the chair at last. "And if you want, you can take these books home and return them after you have read them."

"That's... That's very kind of you. Thank you," he replied, feeling awkward again at the formality that still existed between them.

Charlize didn't seem to mind it, but sometimes, Jonathan wondered how long it would take for him to address her without feeling that slight barrier.

He had known her for almost an year by then and that was without counting the time in Arkham. Still, he couldn't bring himself to step over that barrier, hesitant that something's would go wrong if he tried.

"You are always welcome," she replied with a smile and went back to her desk.

How easy it was for her to communicate with people and not feel that tinge in her heart and that small voice saying that it was better not to reach out at all? 

"Doctor Fischer," he spoke up at last, and she looked up, her brown eyes expectantly focused on him. "Have you always been like this?"

She was surprised at the abrupt question, "Like what?"

"I have not met anyone like you," he resumed, his eyes carefully taking in the surprise on her features. "I fail to decipher whether your kindness is a demand of your profession or a core foundation of your personality."

Charlize thought his words over and asked, "And why do you think that?"

"Humans are selfish by nature. They seldom do anything without any gain to themselves," he sounded almost like a textbook, reeling off the years' worth of knowledge  he had crammed inside his head and started to believe. "I can't understand if your gentle nature is a farce or if you have always been this self-sacrificial person who gives her all to others and expects nothing in return. This is not human, not in my experience. And humans only ever attain this state if they have been through something worse... Something tragic. Something that makes them want to give to others because they couldn't get what they wished for, it's rare but it happens."

A shadow clouded her face, and she lowered her gaze, looking at her interlocked hands instead. "That's... That's a very thorough observation. But I don't have the answer you are looking for."

"Why are you so selfless? Why?"

He was curious to know the answer; she could see that. But what could she tell him? Some things couldn't be explained easily. She couldn't explain why she appeared to be the way she was and that it was no farce or professional persona.

He seemed to have read the confusion in her eyes as he drew back, retrieving his intense gaze at last. "I am sorry if I made you uncomfortable."

She shook her head, "No, it's not like that. It's okay for you to ask questions, too, since I'm the one who asks most."

"You're the doctor here. It only makes sense."

"But still," she looked away, her voice no more than a hushed whisper tainted with an unfathomable sadness—perhaps a regret for some reality that couldn't be achieved. "I would have preferred more if we were friends."

What would it be like if they were friends? Unexpectedly, his mind deviated to that route, and he found himself wondering what it would have been like if he had met her in entirely different circumstances.

It was impossible, so he knew he shouldn't dwell on it. But if they had met as colleagues and if Jonathan had never embarked on that path to self-destruction, would they still be close?

Jonathan believed that Doctor Fischer was in his life due to the current circumstances, and he had no other choice but to accept the consequences. But what if he had a choice? Would he reach out to her then or vice versa?

"If we met as colleagues and if I never did anything that led me here in the first place..." The words tumbled out at last, and Charlize listened attentively, knowing he would normally not go that far in voicing his thoughts. "Could we really have been friends?"

"I don't know. There's always a possibility..."

"A possibility that cannot happen now."

She shook her head, taking in a deep breath as she articulated her thoughts. He was trying to say something, but she was unable to understand the direction in which their conversation was headed. 

So she replied with what she thought best at the moment. "Why not? I never said anything to you that could have implied that it's impossible."

"But you are afraid of me, Doctor. And in my own way, perhaps, I am afraid of you. I am afraid of... Losing you."

Those words sunk in with a deep realization. Charlize paused, feeling her hands go cold at the remark. What was going on in his mind?

She was not afraid of him. Why would she be when he was doing his best to improve and mend his ways?

"I am afraid that if I let you in, you will get hurt. At the same time, I want to let you in, show you everything I keep locked up in my past, and try to understand your perspective on it. I fear for you, and yet I admire you. Does that make any sense?"

Silence engulfed them until she spoke up, "It feels like for the first time you are talking to me without anything holding you back..."

"I cannot hear him. Or anyone else, for that matter. Maybe that's why."

She knew he was referring to the Scarecrow when he said that. Scarecrow, the alter who stifled his existence even when he wasn't in charge.

"And why do you think I am afraid of you?"

"Maybe because you see me and you think about what would happen if you failed... If I relapsed and the second chance didn't work."

He was right. It struck her immensely that even after all those years, he could accurately judge people and decipher their intentions.

Then why was he confused about her kindness? Or was it too hard for him to accept that he could be shown kindness without any ulterior motive?

She closed the file, knowing she could no longer concentrate on any other work. Jonathan often left her confused but that once, she was confused by the lack of ambiguity in his words. It was almost as if he had lifted a veil and laid everything bare for her to see.

No locked doors, no masks, just a heap of questions and honest thoughts.

"Jonathan, I'm kind to you because I care for you," she admitted at last, feeling his honesty deserved a truthful reply. "Regardless of our professional relationship."

He was looking back at her with those wide blue eyes full of that characteristic sadness that she had often seen peek through his facade.

"I hope I don't make you regret this, Doctor," he replied at last and in all those months of trying to understand Jonathan Crane, Charlize felt that was the most transparent he had ever been with her.

Only time would tell whether it was a good thing or not.

***