Every night for the past few days, Lyra had a reoccurring nightmare. She would be sitting outside, all alone, minding her own business as she basked in the light of the full moon, counting the stars in the sky. 

It was perfect. All was peaceful and she didn't have to worry about anything. No family pressuring her, no friends trying make her choices for her, no self-hatred or self-doubt. Lyra was at peace. 

Then she would hear a growl from behind her. She was always too afraid to turn around, to fight. Because she knew exactly what, or who, it was. It was always going to be Remus Lupin, only as a werewolf. 

The dream ended the same way every time. She refused to turn around, so she wouldn't be able to defend herself. This time, nobody came to save her. So Remus would bite her head straight off her body. 

Waking up in cold sweat, Lyra would sob until she found herself so tired that she would fall asleep once again. Sometimes she would dream the same dream again, and other times she would happily fall into a dreamless sleep.

None of her roommates seemed to have noticed. Or, if they did then they didn't say anything about it. The second option was more likely. In the house of Salazar Slytherin, uncomfortable discussions were avoided more often than not. It was easier to pretend everything was alright. 

In some ways, she appreciated this. Because she couldn't tell anyone. Professor Dumbledore himself had said she had to keep Remus's condition secret. If he didn't say so, she wasn't sure if she would have said anything. 

Because she had no idea how she felt about him anymore. Not only had he kept a huge secret from her throughout their whole friendship, he was also a dark creature, one that could have killed her and their classmates several times throughout the year. 

Lyra had some idea of what she felt when she looked at him. She was scared. No, she was terrified. There was this hidden darkness within him, the kind that wouldn't hesitate to kill her if she was at the wrong place at the wrong time.

And it wasn't only Remus who she was confused about. All four of those Gryffindor boys, Remus, James, Sirius and Peter had snuck up on her, and made her feel comfortable and safe with them. Now she hadn't spoken to any of them for days, out of either anger or sadness.

Lyra knew she was angry at Sirius. He was rash and reckless without a care in the world, thinking consequences couldn't touch him. He had always been like this, but she hadn't ever thought it would almost end with her and Snape almost getting killed. 

While she was grateful for James saving her life, she couldn't believe the lies that had come from his and Peter's mouth at different occasions. Whenever she asked a question that could lead to her finding out about Remus being a werewolf, they would come up with a lie to make sure she would never close in on the truth. 

She loathed them all for that. For the lying. For the unnecessary heartache. She could have closed her heart off from them a long time ago if they had just been honest, if they could have told her the truth. 

Lyra didn't have much of an appetite as she sat at Saturday breakfast, ignoring Lucinda's babbling to Avery about how they could finally be together now that he had broken up with his older girlfriend, Lyra's old friend, Emma Vanity. 

She glanced at her Potions book on the table, as her and Rabastan had been going through the latest chapter they had been working on. Slughorn had let it slip that they would be having a test soon and Rabastan needed all the help he could get. 

He was reading a passage, trying to memorize it word for word so she could test him in a few minutes. Those minutes meant silence for Lyra. Silence meant time to think, which was the last thing she had wanted. 

Her gaze found itself wandering to the Gryffindor table. She first found Sirius, which was strange as he was sitting rather quietly. Usually, he would have been annoyingly loud for a morning, making everyone beg him to shut up. Or, he was hungover. 

But this time, she knew that wasn't the case. He was all alone, which was definitely a rarity. He could have sat down with a few girls who were sending him flirty looks, but he wasn't in the mood, barely picking at his food. Lyra supposed Remus hadn't forgiven him for the stunt he pulled.

As the Slytherin reminded herself of Remus, she quickly found herself searching for him. It didn't take long, as she could feel his gaze on her. The moment they made eye contact, he looked away, sad. 

He was talking to Lily Evans, who didn't seem to pick up on the less than stellar mood at the table. She was chatting excitedly about something, perhaps the fact that they were now patrol partners twice a week instead of once, now that Lyra had left him. She was probably mostly happy to not have to patrol with Rabastan, who never spoke too kindly of her. 

With their backs to her sat James and Peter. She frowned at this, confused. For the last ten months, James had always made sure he sat the way facing her, just so he could stare at her or try to communicate with their facial expressions. Now things had changed.

Lyra then seemed to realize she was staring at James's back, which was both strange for her to realize and something she couldn't afford other people to see. She quickly glanced away to find Rabastan looking at her with a raised eyebrow. "I'm sorry, what?"

"I said I'm ready for you to quiz me," he said, tilting his head. He had noticed she had been a bit distracted, but it was only getting worse. "What's going on with you, Lyra? You've seemed so off lately."

"I'm fine. Just tired. I've been studying like mad these past couple of days. I finished my transfiguration essay last week, at least," she said, sending him a fake smile. "So, you're ready to be quizzed?"

He grinned widely. "Bring it on. I can answer any question you throw at me."

"Alright, I'm loving the confidence," the blonde smiled supportively. While she hadn't been in a good mood, she hoped Rabastan could help her get over it. "What is the use of a bezoar and where can one find it?"

The Lestrange boy took a second to think about the question before being excited as he remembered just reading about it. "Oh, oh! A bezoar can be found in a goat's stomach and is an antidote to poisons."

"Except?" she asked. But she could quickly see that he didn't know the answer, so she sighed and let him know. At least then he would learn it sooner rather than later. "It doesn't help against Basilisk venom."

"Right," he said, trying to act like he was still confident, but she could see the arrogant exterior he forced upon himself falter for a quick moment. "I'll remember that next time."

"I know you will. Don't worry." Lyra didn't want him to feel like he wasn't good enough, so she just wanted to be a supportive friend. "Alright, so how do we recognize Amortentia?"

"I know this! First, you can smell it because it smells like things you are attracted to. Steam rises from it in spirals. And... oh, I know this. Give me a second." Rabastan closed his eyes for a quick second as he tried to remember. "It has a distinctive mother-of-pearl sheen."

"That's perfect, Rabastan! You're doing great," said Lyra, putting her hand on his arm to show how happy she was for him. "Alright, let's make this a bit harder. What does Golpalott's Third Law say?"

Again, he frowned as he remembered trying to memorize it. "Dammit. This is the hard one. The antidote for a blended poison will be equal to more than the sum of the antidotes for each of the separate components."

"Straight out of the textbook too!" the blonde laughed a bit to herself, which made him look away as his ears turned a bit pink. "Do you even know what that means?"

"No and I don't have to. I'm pretty sure that will be enough for old Sluggy. He loves me enough already," he reminded her, which was true. He was one of their Head of House's favorite students in their year. 

Lyra smiled and looked down at the book again, searching for a new question to ask but he just kept talking. "Alright, enough of this, Lyra. We've got more important things to learn. Christmas is getting closer every day. And you know I have a really important meeting then. With the Dark Lord."

The brief happiness Lyra had felt as they acted like normal teenagers, just studying, faded quickly. Another example of the darkness that surrounded her life. "Yes. I know. You need to keep your voice down."

"Calm down. There are only Slytherins who can hear us and they'll think it's great. And I know you're going to be forging contacts with Slughorn and everything, so you don't have to stress. You'll probably be meeting him next summer or something."

"Right. Sounds good." The Black girl mostly just wanted to move on from the subject. She had finally stopped thinking about Remus's condition and the lies that had surrounded it, only to be reminded of something that was arguably worse. 

"So, let's forget about Potions for a moment. What's really important is that we're prepared for our futures. That means we'll have to study the Dark Arts. Could you quiz me?" he asked, but sensing her hesitation. "Please."

Lyra glanced towards the Gryffindor table one more time before realizing that there was nothing else to do but agree. She was about to learn more about the Dark Arts. "Alright. Where do you want to start?"

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Lyra hadn't ever noticed how much of her time had been devoted to the four Gryffindor boys before she was no longer speaking to any of them. She barely knew them before, other than Sirius, and now it was strange for them not to be a big part of her life. 

Most of her days were spent either avoiding James's affection (no matter how funny it could be) or trying to hide her clandestine conversations with Sirius. Sometimes even betting on how many times James would annoy her that day with Peter. 

But, again, they weren't the worst part. No, the worst part was Remus. Not only because he was the worst betrayal of them all, but because he was the one she spent the most time with at school. 

When she didn't talk to him, or sending him supportive, friendly smiles she was looking forward to spending time with him during their next patrol, or thinking about what kinds of books he would like. And when it came to Defense Against the Dark Arts, she could always ask if she had a question or study with him. If they did it in a secret space or during patrol, of course. 

She didn't have that luxury now. She could have asked him to study for their upcoming test and he probably would have accepted, but she didn't want to. She didn't even want to look at him unless it was necessary. 

Instead, she had to ask her younger cousin, Regulus. He was very bright when it came to the subject, but he was also easily annoyed and frustrated. Especially when Lyra came to ask help during his O.W.L.-year.

Regulus grimaced as he was slowly getting more annoyed, his grey eyes dull and void of emotion. "How do you not know this already? Have you never read about the Inferi before? Didn't you take the O.W.L.s?"

"Last year's Defense Professor didn't see it necessary for us to learn, alright? Can't you calm down?" Lyra was getting just as annoyed with him in return. "Fine. Is it fire? That's what repels an Inferius?"

Relieved, Regulus sighed and stopped feeling like a complete failure when it came to tutoring his older, blonde cousin. "Yes, finally! You've learned something. Congratulations, Lyra. You're not an idiot after all."

"Thanks, Reg. You're always so sweet." Lyra smiled sarcastically and tiled her head. She then leaned against one of the pillars in the hallway, taking a deep breath to calm down. Then, when she turned her head, she saw Sirius walking towards them. "Ugh, Merlin no."

"Hi there, family!" Sirius grinned, widely. He wrapped his arm around his little brother's shoulder, who did not seem very happy with it. "What are we talking about today? Right, I don't care. Reg, scram. I need to talk to Lyra."

"You can't tell me to scram!" the fifth year spat, glaring heatedly at his older brother who seemed unbothered. "You have no right to tell either me or Lyra what to do. You should go back to your precious Gryffindors, where you belong."

"Reggie, you're always so uptight," Sirius groaned.  "Loosen up a bit, will you? You're starting to sound like Bella and the last thing anybody needs is another one of her. Get out of here and find some friends."

Lyra turned her head and saw Regulus about to start fighting even more, but the last thing she wanted was for them to have a blow-out in the middle of the hall. If that meant talking to Sirius, then so be it. 

The blonde glanced over at the younger of the two brothers. "Regulus, it's fine. Take a walk around, will you? Sirius, you annoying git... You've got five minutes, not a single second more. Make it count."

Regulus quickly walked off, still respecting the older girl. Sirius started to babble quickly. "I'm so sorry about what happened. I never wanted anyone to get hurt, especially not you. That's why I suggested we gave you the map to keep Snivellus away."

Her jaw tightened as flashes of that night came to her, which she would rather forget. He noticed this and looked down sadly. "I understand if you can't forgive me. At least not yet. But I'm begging you. Forgive Remus."

"How can you say that?" Lyra asked, frowning deeply. Again, the image of Remus being a fully-grown werewolf trying to charge at her flashed before her eyes. "I'm so scared of him, Sirius. I've never been so scared of a person. I thought he was my friend."

Confused, the black-haired boy tilted his head. "You didn't think he was your friend. He was your friend. If you're scared of people like him then that's your business. He hasn't done anything to you."

"He could have! He almost did. Any moment during that night... he could have killed me or Snape. Ripped me apart. He could have done the same to a number of students throughout the years. How am I to know he didn't?"

"Of course he didn't!" Sirius exclaimed. "He's not a bad person, Lyra. What happened... that was a mistake. And he's only like that once a month. Every other day, he's the same Remus you know and love. Don't hate him because he was cursed against his will."

"I don't have to listen to this. Especially not from you. Who even are you right now?" she asked, shaking her head in disbelief. "If you try to talk to me again, you'll feel the wrath of a true member of the House of Black."

Lyra knew it was the wrong thing to say to Sirius, who had felt that wrath worse than anyone. But he didn't seem hurt. No, he only seemed concerned, frowning as he looked at her. It was the kind of look that made her want to stop being angry with him. 

"It's been five minutes," said Regulus suddenly, appearing behind his brother. He didn't look like he had heard any of their conversation, only annoyed that he was still there. "Time to get a move on then, Sirius."

As his brother walked next to Lyra, Sirius looked at both of them in a mixture of worry and melancholy. "I still have hope for you, Regulus. For both of you. I need you to know that. It's not too late to walk away. To follow in my footsteps."

"As if we'd ever want to." Something about Sirius just seemed to make Regulus explode, which became more evident than ever when he pulled his wand out and pointed it to him. "Walk away unless you want a fight, brother."

For a moment, Sirius seemed to consider this. But as he looked at the wand pointed at him, his baby brother's wand, he shook his head. He didn't want to fight Regulus. He'd rather walk away with a guilty consciense. So he did.

And Regulus was fired up as well and needed to take a moment (or day) to himself. Without saying goodbye, or even sparing her a quick glance, the young Black boy stalked away, his shoes clicking loudly on the stone floor. 

Then there was Lyra, who was once again left alone. Her loneliness was becoming more and more apparent, as she looked at the hall of people who were chatting with their friends and having a good time. She was just alone. 

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A/N: Thank you guys for 30k reads! You're amazing, every single one of you <3