The nightmares seemed to come to life the minute Lyra walked through her bedroom door in the Black manor. She looked at the carpet, wondering how they had gotten the blood out so easily when it had turned the white floor red. 

The blonde threw her trunk on the bed, though struggling to do so as it was always heavier than she anticipated. As she breathed heavily, she closed her eyes for a moment. The memories seemed to stream through her much more vividly than before. 

She just hated being in that house, especially in that room. It had once been her sanctuary from the world around her, but now it had turned into her worst nightmare. It did actually show up in most of her worst nightmares, who were all scarily detailed. 

Her hands started shaking as her breathing got even heavier, she was scared she was starting to hyperventilate, remembering the day her sister had turned her wand on her and uttered the incantation to the torture curse. 

"Lyra, sweetheart," a sweet voice said from behind her, which broke her out of her trance. She steadied her breathing as to not worry her mother, who had no idea what had happened that Christmas. "How are you?"

The younger blonde smiled hesitantly, trying to calm her nerves. Her parents didn't know she had been tortured, nor the reason why. If they found out about James, she didn't know what they'd do. "I'm fine, mum."

"Are you sure? You've gotten so thin," said Druella worriedly, leaning back to study her. She shook her head and spoke bitterly. "I wonder if that old fool Dumbledore is feeding his students enough at the school."

Lyra hadn't noticed herself, but she hadn't been eating properly for the last few months. She knew she should have, but she couldn't focus on her own self-care. "I just haven't had much of an appetite lately."

The mother didn't seem to know what to say, so she only smiled uncomfortably. "Well, let's hope you get it back. We'll have plenty of food for our feast dinner in a few days. We've got to celebrate you being home, which you so rarely are."

"Who's coming to that this year?" she asked, having forgotten about their annual Easter dinner. She wondered if Regulus was going to show up or if he was too busy with Rabastan. "You never mentioned."

"Well, Walburga and Orion are coming. I trust you know Regulus is away for the break," Druella confirmed before continuing. "Narcissa, Hector and Marcus, I think. Bellatrix and Rodolphus too."

"Oh, sounds good," the eighteen-year-old sighed in relief. Part of her had been worried that it would turn into some sort of Death Eater meeting, especially as it was so important for Bellatrix that she would come. "A family affair then."

"Well, Bellatrix is bringing one more guest," Druella revealed, looking somber.  "I don't know if you heard but Lucius Malfoy just lost his mother and the poor young man has no family to spend Easter with."

She hadn't heard about the death. While she had never been too fond of Lucius Malfoy, she still felt bad. But she was sure that wasn't the only reason he would be coming by. "That's horrible. Is that the only reason?"

Druella smiled at her, thinking she was much less naive than before which would she knew would help protect her daughter in the future. "Well, we've heard that he's been gaining some position in the Dark Lord's ranks. Bellatrix is very eager to befriend him because of this."

Lyra had already known that, but it didn't make her feel any better about the dinner. "Oh, alright. Sounds good."

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Seeing her sisters for the first time since they had either tortured her or sat by and watched the torture was not an easy ordeal. Lyra wanted to run and cry, telling them that she was far from ready to talk.

But she couldn't do that. Unless she wanted the rest of the dinner table to know what had happened, and more importantly, why. She kept her mouth shut, only greeting the guests quickly before rushing off to go back to her parents. 

It was quite uncomfortable when dinner started, too. Bellatrix told her to sit in a specific seat, one between herself and Lucius Malfoy, who looked haughty as ever, though respectful for the House of Black. 

Lucius turned to Narcissa's husband, who had been doting on his young son. "Hector, when will you finally find your way into the Dark Lord's ranks? We could sure use a wizard like you, if I remember your skill correctly from our school days."

Hector looked up and met the blond man's eyes, uncomfortable. He had tried to avoid the question because of his son, Marcus, but he didn't know how much longer he could put it off. "I expect it will happen when the time feels right."

 "I've been eager to introduce Hector to the Dark Lord for years now. I mean, you wouldn't want us to think you're blood traitor," said Bellatrix. She turned to Lyra, a cruel glimt in her eye that the younger sister didn't like. "Do you agree, Lyra?" 

She hated this. The hinting to Lyra's blood traitor ways. But she had to remain confident unless she wanted to cause suspicion. "Yes. I do."

The dark-haired woman grinned wickedly.  "Good."

Hector hesitated, looking worriedly at his son. He turned to his wife, who gave him a supportive smile. "I suppose Marcus is old enough now that I can serve the Dark Lord faithfully without having to worry about missing his milestones too much."

"Wonderful," Lucius smiled smugly, always eager to prove that his rank was justified by showing off new recruits to the Dark Lord. Maybe he could even go further up. "I will set up the meeting as soon as possible then."

An annoyed look crossed Bellatrix's pretty face for a moment, but she quickly faked a sweet smile. She didn't want to offend Lucius, who she really did need to befriend for more of the Dark Lord's favor.  "We will do so."

Rodolphus, yet another Death Eater at the table, grinned.  "It sounds great, Hector. It's always good to have more powerful supporters for our cause now that the Order of Phoenix seems to be growing in numbers."

"Yes, I've heard about them. Dumbledore's army, aren't they?" asked Narcissa, surprisingly interested for someone who had never cared much for Death Eater business, as she carefully adjusted her elegant up-do that seemed a bit too close to fall apart. 

"Not an army, exactly," the Lestrange man denied, waving  her off. He turned to the youngest Black sister next in interest. "Lyra, is it true that you were the first one to gain intel on the Dumbledore's order?"

Lyra did not enjoy the reminder. While it was no longer the worst thing she had ever done, it was still the first thing she had done for the Death Eaters. She still felt like a traitor to her school and those she loved. "Yes, I did. Along with Rabastan and Regulus, of course."

Cygnus looked her way, proudly as he started gushing about her, not noticing her discomfort. "Our Lyra has always been so strong and powerful. I know she will serve the cause well, as she's already done."

"I think we should all be proud of our children," said Walburga, always wanting to be the center of attention. "I mean, Bellatrix, Lyra and Regulus have served the Dark Lord well and lovely Narcissa making a marriage beneficial to the cause."

Orion, stoic as ever, nodded sternly. "Indeed."

Most of the dinner party had finished their meals, except for Lyra who hadn't eaten everything on her plate. Druella didn't seem to mind, though, as the house elves came and took their plates. 

The mother looked at her dinner guests, though specifically at her youngest daughter.  "Dessert won't be ready for a while, so we've got some time before then. You should all feel free to wander freely before then. I will call you once it's ready."

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Lyra had been thankful that her mother had dismissed them from the meal. She had tried to stay quiet and unnoticed so she wouldn't have to focus on the people around her, but they wouldn't let her stay in the shadows. 

She needed to catch a breath, so she walked into the parlor. She was sure the rest of the family would still be talking about Death Eater business or something similar, so she would hopefully be left alone. 

She wasn't so lucky. As she looked at the  one of the portraits of one of her ancestors, one she wasn't even sure of the name of, Lucius followed suit, frowning strangely at her. "Are you alright, Lyra?"

She turned to look at him, confused as to why he would care. "I am. Thank you."

He took a closer step with a graceful elegance about him that seems effortless. "I remember the day you met the Dark Lord. You showed promise, along with the ability to compromise any morals you may have for the sake of survival and fraternity. I can appreciate that."

That was the second time someone had brought up a moment she would rather forget. Though she knew it could be rude, she narrowed her meanly at him.  "Excuse my bluntness, but does any of this have a point?"

He smiled slightly at her reaction, as if it amused him. "While you would do well as a Death Eater, I can see that you're not devoted enough to follow the Dark Lord blindly, which would be most dangerous."

"You don't know what you're talking about," she responded, her demeanor becoming less friendly and polite with every second. They had barely spoken outside of formal settings, so she didn't think he had the right to pretend to know her.

"I know more than you think. I know about you and James Potter," the blond man said casually. He could see her open her mouth, most likely to deny the accusation.  "Don't try to deny it. I know."

She hated hearing the name of the man she loved fall from his lips. He didn't deserve to even know James's name in her opinion. Nobody who found themselves in her house that night did. "How?"

He still didn't seem bothered by the topic of their discussion, while most people would have screamed at her for being a blood traitor. "Bellatrix told me. She thought I'd need to know about your indiscretion before today."

"What were you planning to do today?" Lyra asked suspiciously. She didn't know just how far he had gotten into dark magic, but she knew it was too far. She didn't want to know what kind of consequences that could pose for her and James. 

He looked away for a moment, carefully slicking his hand through his blond locks to keep them sleek and perfect, something he had been taught to do from a young age. Perfection was always to be strived for.  "As you might know, I recently lost my mother to Dragon Pox."

"You have my condolonces," the young girl said quietly. 

"Thank you," he responded, though not seeming very thankful or bothered at all. "The thing is, now that both of my parents have passed away, I am the sole Malfoy left and I feel a pressure to start a family."

He turned look at her again. "I see an opportunity in you. I can protect you, at least attempt to, from having to do much for the Dark Lord's cause. I'll make sure you don't even take the Dark Mark in return for giving me a beautiful pureblood wife with a high status."

It was almost embarrassing that it took a few moments for Lyra to digest his words. Maybe it was because she didn't want to understand what he was implying. "Are you asking me to marry you?"

He shrugged nonchalantly. "I suppose."

She could have laughed at the ridiculousness. Her marrying Lucius Malfoy? The same man she had once convinced Narcissa to reject in favor of Hector. "We barely know each other, and you're quite a bit older than me."

He didn't care. "I'm five years older than you as far as I know, which isn't a horrible age difference. And I understand that it's not ideal. I would prefer to marry a woman I knew better, perhaps one I would have loved."

"Then why don't you?" she asked coldly. She was sure he didn't know love or he wouldn't have asked her to do this. She knew love and its joys and horrors too well and she couldn't imagine marrying anyone other than James, though that seemed very unlikely now. 

"Because my mother begged me to find a wife with her dying breath, and I knew she had always hoped for me to marry one of the Black girls," he explained. He seemed to be getting a bit more irked by her attitude, but tried to hide it. 

"And I am offering you as much protection as I can give from the Dark Lord and his plans. And he has plans, some including you," he continued. "If you were to become my wife, I would be able to shield you from them, at least most."

She had had a feeling, but now it was confirmed. She had been so sure that her life had been leading up to working with the Death Eaters and now she had been given a way out. She suddenly felt a bit more inclined to accept, though still skeptic. "Lucius..."

He spoke quickly, not allowing her to say anything more. "Lyra, please. This is the best scenario for both of us. And your parents will be pleased, not even caring that you're giving up a life in the Dark Lord's ranks and all your previous mistakes will be forgotten. 

"I'll say I prefer my wife to take care of household business, however absurd the notion is, and my request will be respected," he said. He hadn't known her well, but he was good at reading people. He could see the idea of being in his ranks terrified her. 

She furrowed her brows, thinking it over. There was a handsome man standing in front of her, promising her protection from her worst fears from her adolescence. How could she refuse?  "You truly believe that?"

"I do," Lucius said honestly, sincerely. She hadn't ever seem him look like that. He always looked like he thought he was better than everybody. But, now he looked like he saw her as an equal. "Lyra, I'm asking you to marry me as a favor to the both of us."

She didn't want to give a definitive answer, but she was starting to doubt her initial reaction about saying no. She needed to know more, though. She couldn't say yes without knowing all the facts. "When?"

"Within a year, I'd say," he estimated. "Your family can plan the wedding as you finish your last few months at Hogwarts. But I hope you understand that if my plan is to work, then you will not be allowed to work. Not because I believe you shouldn't, but you mustn't stray from the plan, either."

She nodded thoughtfully.  "I understand."

Lucius could see she was still not convinced, so he had one more argument to say. "And I can attempt to protect your old lover from the harshest of fates in the case he will not join our cause. I'm guessing he won't."

"He would never," she smiled fondly, thinking of James. He had his values and his morals and he wouldn't compromise them for anything or anyone, not even her. She admired that. She wished she was more like him in that department. 

"Then I will try to shield him, and I will most definitely protect you," Lucius promised, trying to suppress a smirk as he could see her slowly give in. He hadn't been sure she would accept before, but now he had no doubt. 

That settled it. Again, she would do anything for James's safety. She had tried to keep him out of as much danger as possible by leaving him. But she knew that if Bellatrix ever saw James, she wouldn't care that they were over. She'd kill him anyway, but no Lucius could stop it. All she needed to do was to be selfless. 

She was silent for a few seconds. Mostly because the words didn't want to leave her lips, but she eventually had to force it with a defeated nod. She had even tried to smile, but she physically couldn't. "Fine. I'll do it."

Lucius quickly brightened up even more. He looked at her, gratefully as he put his hand on her shoulder. "Thank you, I will announce it at dessert."

Part of her regretted her choice already. But she reminded herself it was for the best. If she got married, she couldn't even entertain the idea of running off to James and leaving him danger. He would be safe and that was all she cared about.

▹▹▹

Lyra forced a piece of chocolate cake down her throat, though still not having much of an appetite. It was a favorite of hers, and she loved the flavor. For that reason, and that reason only, she found herself eating.

Then Lyra's new fiancé stood up from his seat, hitting his glass with his spoon to gain the attention of his dinner partners. "I have something to say. I am pleased to announce that I asked Lyra to marry me and she has accepted my proposal."

He looked down at her. She could finally force a smile, though it was still hesitant as she had now made her final and complete choice of what to do with her life. She had chosen to remain with the part of the world she had grown up in, and there was no going back.

The people gasped and started throwing out congratulations. Even Orion and Walburga, who usually tried to show any emotions that aren't anger, smiled brightly and gushed about the new couple. 

"This is amazing! Oh, my darling girl is getting married!" Druella exclaimed gleefully, jumping out of her chair. "We need to get a picture, right now! I need one to send the engagement announcement to the Daily Prophet as soon as possible."

Narcissa's kind features were hard to connect to the girl who had watched Lyra be tortured as she smiled sweetly without a care in the world. "This wedding will be wonderful. I'll make sure of it."

"You've found a good match, Lyra," said Bellatrix, a slight smile on her face. It seemed to be the most joy the oldest Black sister could conjure these days. "I congratulate you."

Lyra looked at her strangely, trying to keep a glare back. She knew the dark-haired woman only approved for her own benefit. Having Lucius Malfoy as a brother-in-law wasn't a bad thing for her, especially in comparison to her previous love affair with James. "Thank you, Bella."

"Get together you two! I'm getting the camera!" the girls' mother ran out of the room, but was barely gone for more than a minute. People chatted about the wedding, whispering to each other. Lyra only stood by silently and waited.

Druella quickly returned, a camera in her hands. She waved everybody else out of the way of her shot, and Lyra looked up at the man she was going to marry. "Come on, you two! You're engaged, you can stand a bit closer. Big smiles!"

The eighteen-year-old witch swallowed the lump in her throat, but took a step closer to Lucius, forcing a blinding smile. Lucius smirked smugly as he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her closer.

The flash went off, and Lyra closed her eyes afterwards. Not only because the bright light had hurt her eyes, but because she felt like crying once again. She was engaged and she was trapped, because she had chosen to protect the man she loved. 

But she didn't cry. Because she had done so too much already. Now, all she could do was stick with the choices she had made. For James. It was all for James, even if he didn't know. He could never know. 

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A/N: Thank you for 100k reads, you guys! You're absolutely amazing!