It was almost strange how easy it had been for Lyra to distance herself from the boys. Once she had broken up with James, he was quickly out of the way. The only really important thing she could do now was to get Remus away from her. 

To do this, she had begged Lily to change the patrol schedules. Where Lyra had once spent her nights laughing with Remus, she would now walk around with a somber Regulus, who had gladly given up having to patrol with the muggleborn Dirk Cresswell. 

But there was one person she knew wouldn't be so easy to push away, even though she had tried her best to ignore him and avoid him. But Sirius Black wasn't so easily evaded, especially not when he cared. 

Lyra hadn't been prepared for any confrontations as she walked through the halls of Hogwarts, alone for what felt like the first time in forever. Just because she wasn't prepared, didn't mean that it wouldn't happen. Because Sirius was prepared, and he had been preparing for hours. 

Her dark-haired older cousin, rushed towards her when he saw her on her own, not giving her a a chance to escape as he grabbed her arm. "What are you doing here, Lyra? Why are you doing any of this? What's going on with you?"

"Let go of me!" she hissed, ripping her arm out of his grip. She tried to take step away, not wanting to talk to him, or anybody for that matter, about what was happening. If she did, she knew she'd start crying. 

But Sirius stepped in front of her, keeping her stuck in her spot. "I know what happened with James. I may not believe it, but fine. If you don't love James then you don't. But I can't accept you abandoning your friends."

"Just leave me alone, Sirius. I can't do this anymore. None of it," she spoke softly, though as harshly as she could. None of what she had said was a lie, but she had kept the truth away from him. 

"But why?" he questioned, softening in hope that she would want to talk to him. "And why did you force Evans to switch your patrol schedule so you don't have to walk around with Remus? Why won't you even look at us anymore? Why are you always surrounded by Slytherins again?"

Needing him to leave her alone and stop asking questions, Lyra glared up at him in a way she hadn't done in years. "Leave it alone."

"Lyra-" Sirius reached out to grab her wrist, when she tried to walk away. But then he saw her wince, as if she was in pain. He could barely catch a glimpse of the unnatural colors coating her pale skin as she pulled away. "What was that?"

Lyra felt the blood rush from her face, leaving her paler than usual. The last things she needed was for Sirius to see the bruises and realized what had happened to her. He wouldn't ever stop then. "It's nothing."

Sirius knew what bruises looked like. He had experienced them too many times, but he didn't think that his aunt and uncle would ever use the same disciplinary methods as his parents. Not that they did. "That's not nothing!"

"I fell," the Slytherin girl lied, using the first excuse that came to mind. 

"Something happened this Christmas, didn't it? That's why you're doing this," he realized, gaping as it all made sense. He knew the effect their family had always had on her, a much stronger effect than they had ever had on him. "Lyra, what the hell did they do to you?"

"Nothing!" she denied, though she was sure he didn't believe her. "They'd didn't do anything! I made my choice on my own. It may seem sudden to you, but I've been thinking about this for a long time."

Luckily for her, the third Black attending the school noticed the conflict and approached, coldly greeting his older brother. "Sirius. What a pleasure to see you bothering our lovely cousin. But I think you've said your piece. It's leave her be."

Sirius was losing his cool, and glared heatedly at Regulus, seeing him as a symbol of all the pain that their family had caused, even though he knew, deep down, that it was unfair. "What'd you do, huh? How'd you force her to do this?"

"Lyra's a big girl," Regulus said coolly, pretending that his brother's hostile tone didn't bother him, or his accusations. Because, honestly, he was having doubts of his own about what he had asked her to do. "She can make her own choices."

Lyra glanced between them, the two boys she was once been so close to that she could call them her brothers, and felt true pain at their new-found hatred for one another. "Stop. Both of you. We don't want an argument out here. I'll see you around, Sirius."

Sirius could see there was no way to fight when both Regulus and Lyra stood together, because he would lose. He needed to find her alone again, and keep it that way. But that moment wasn't hadn't come yet, but he knew it would. "We aren't done with this conversation."

▹▹▹

Ever since her almost one-sided conversation with Sirius, Lyra had made sure she was always surrounded by Slytherins, which to him were the enemy. He wouldn't dare approach her when she wasn't alone, much less with them.

But they weren't so keen to accept her back into their open arms yet. They had all felt betrayed, like she had much rather wanted to be a Gryffindor than a true Slytherin, which hadn't been the case, with a boyfriend or not.

"I can't believe you didn't realize this," Lyra tried to say as she walked with her roommates. "James Potter was only an experiment on my part, trying to see how loyal Slytherins would be to our housemates. I was left disappointed."

While the other girls started apologizing, quickly believing what she was saying only because they wanted to believe it, Lucinda wasn't so easily convinced. She had fought with Lyra about him, and she held her when she cried about him. It had to have been real. 

Lucinda walked closer to Lyra, speaking softly so nobody else could hear her words. "Although I'm glad you finally came to your senses, you don't have to act like you and Potter were never together. You loved him."

"I don't have to, but I want to. I can't think about it and I can't talk about it. It's over, and that's that," she responded firmly. She hesitated for a second, but asked a question she had been dreading. "Did you ever tell Rabastan about James and I?"

"I probably would have if Rabastan would have answered any of my letters, but he hasn't. Not since before summer," the brunette answered honestly before asking a question of her own. "Have you heard from him? At all?"

"Not since the start of the summer. He came by the manor once with his brother for a dinner party," Lyra answered vaguely, not really wanting to get into details about that dinner party. It would only make her think of the torture curse, which she was done with thinking about. "I haven't seen or heard from him since then."

"Oh," Lucinda said sadly, a bit hurt. It hadn't really occured to Lyra how much her friend had cared for him, and how much hope she had had for them together, when he had only seen her as a nuicanse he could snog. "So he hadn't left yet? And he didn't answer my letters?"

Lyra didn't want to see Lucinda hurt. Just because she been a horrid friend for the last few months didn't mean Lyra wanted to be one, too. "I'm sorry, maybe he just didn't get them. It was only a few days into the summer."

But it seemed like the brunette didn't want to hear those words from Lyra of all people. She only shook her head, refusing to meet her gaze as she spoke. "Sometimes I felt like he had feelings for you."

"No, no," the blonde gaped. She had known Rabastan for years, and had even been friends with him for some of them, and never had she imagined him fancying her. "I never believed that. He's just hard to read."

"Very, very hard," the brunette Slytherin agreed thoughtfully. "I could never really see what he wanted from me. It just always seemed like whatever happened, he was always more focused on you."

"We're friends, Lucinda. Very close friends. He's more like my brother than anything," Lyra assured her, not wanting to make her uncomfortable. But she did have to admit one thing. "Although, I did fancy him a bit in fifth year."

"Everyone noticed that," Lucinda cracked a smile. And for the first time since before Christmas, Lyra let out a genuine laugh. She locked her arm with Lucinda's as they walked through the school, friends once again. 

▹▹▹

Time was passing by and it almost made her heart break a little more. Because every day, Lyra would have to deal with seeing James around, acting like nothing had ever happened. Because they both knew, that if they dealt with it, they wouldn't be able to stop crying. 

But there had been one day in particular that she had been dreading more than anything. February 14th 1978 was a day that Lyra hoped would pass as quickly as every other day had. She needed it to. 

Then it arrived, and she wanted to spend the rest of the day crying in her bed so she wouldn't have to see the faces of those she had hurt. But she knew she couldn't, because it would only be cause for suspicion. 

She was surrounded by couples, some happy, some pretending to be. Lyra was painfully reminded of the fact that she had once been happy, and now she was only pretending. They hugged and snogged and gave each other gifts. She wanted to yell at them and tell them to do these things out of her sight. 

The worst part wasn't just seeing others together and happy. It was because Valentine's Day had been a very important day for her, for a very long time. And now everything that had made it special faded away. 

Two years ago, Lyra had been embarrassed beyond belief at the different spectacles that he had put up for her. The day she had realized that James fancied her, something she could never have imagined before. She could still faintly hear the sound of a Valentine's Card singing You Charmed the Heart Right Out of Me.

A year ago had been even worse to remember. The day that Lyra, not even realizing that she fancied him, had grabbed James and kissed him in a fit of jealous passion that would change her life forever. 

That's what broke her heart about February 14th. For a while, they had basically considered the day their anniversary. That meant that it had been exactly a year since they had become a thing. They didn't even last a year. She had imagined they would last a lifetime and they didn't even have a year. 

Lyra had stood in the halls of Hogwarts for too long, watching the romance float through the air like some sort of air-born virus that just wouldn't go away. It was just getting more and more annoying with every second. 

She had been standing watch outside of one of the girls' bathrooms as Lucinda was snogging some guy named Stebbins from Ravenclaw that Lyra hadn't ever talked to alone. She wasn't sure if Lucinda had either, but that didn't mean they couldn't snog. 

But after a full half-hour of standing outside and getting more and more annoyed, Lyra couldn't take it anymore. She had briskly opened the bathroom door, grabbed Lucinda by the arm and pulled her out of there, ignoring her complaints and groans. 

The blonde just wanted to get the day over with, and she couldn't do that while walking around on her own. This was definitely not the kind of day she could survive talking to James, Sirius, Remus or Peter. If somebody tried to snog another person in front of her, she was sure she'd hex them.

Especially, because she couldn't stop thinking about James. The whole time she had been standing in front of the bathroom door, she had nothing else to do but think about him. If she saw him, she wasn't sure if anything could stop her from grabbing him and kissing him in front of the whole Great Hall. 

She opened the door to the Great Hall, hoping to shove some food in her mouth so she didn't spit curses at everyone who dared look at her. She had the choice to either be sad or angry, and she was sick of crying. So she chose anger. 

That anger quickly faded once she cast a glance to the Gryffindor table. Because there was no way to feel angry anymore when all she could feel was pain, watching her whole world fall apart. 

There was something uniquely heartbreaking about seeing James Potter kissing Lily Evans sweetly on a day that had meant so much to them. A day that she had clung onto for so long, that had quickly seemed to mean nothing to him, but everything to her.

She wanted to cry her eyes out. She had been crying almost every night for a month, since she had ended their relationship against her own will. And while she had imagined every good part of their relationship that day, he seemed to only remember the bad parts. 

She couldn't blame him, of course. She had been the one to break up with him, to lie and say that she had never even loved him. How desperate she was to tell him that it was all a lie, that she loved him so much that her heart hurt. 

But he had given his heart away again, to a girl that Lyra couldn't even blame him for fancying now. Lily Evans was incredible and kind and brilliant. If Lyra had been into girls, she was sure she'd feel something for her too. 

All Lyra felt now was heartbreak. It wasn't a new feeling anymore. She felt it more regularly than she felt happiness, which was a heartbreaking sentiment in itself. Once happy, now heartbroken. 

Lyra didn't know how long she stood there, staring at him painfully. She didn't even know if he had noticed, or looked back at her. All she knew was that she wanted him to, to see how she still loved him, because she was sure her eyes betrayed her. 

"Lyra, what's going on?" asked Lucinda. She had been staring long enough for her to notice that something was wrong. She looked at her blonde friend, looking almost hypnotized, and frowned worriedly. Then she followed her gaze and gaped in realization. "Maybe we should get you to Potions early."

"Alright," Lyra whispered softly, barely able to hear her own voice. The voice she heard sounded foreign, like she was underwater and couldn't hear herself clearly because she was trying to catch her breath and find some air. She desperately needed to breathe freely again. 

▹▹▹

Lyra was sitting alone in Potions, as Lucinda didn't even take the class, only following her there to make sure everything was alright. Slughorn came only a few minutes after her. If he noticed the tears streaming down her face, he didn't mention it. Perhaps he thought it would be too awkward if he did. 

It wasn't often she found herself sitting alone in Potions. But every time someone entered the classroom and tried to sit next to her, she would send them the fiercest Black family glare that she could. She wondered if she looked like Bellatrix while doing it. She must have, considering the quick fear in their eyes. 

That meant there were only two people sitting alone during the lecture, and only one desk completely empty. Lyra knew exactly who would be sitting there once they arrived. The new Gryffindor power couple hadn't come to class yet, and she was sure they were too busy snogging. 

Snape usually sat alone as nobody who took the class felt comfortable around him. It almost disgusted her to compare herself to Snape by being the only other lonesome person. If that was the person she was becoming, she was already starting to regret everything. 

Once Slughorn had been a few minutes into his lecture about a Potions Lyra didn't feel like paying attention to, the sound of the door opening and of Lily's girlish giggles filled the room. "Sorry we're late, Professor."

Slughorn seemed taken aback at the sight of Lily and James together, holding hands while flushed with messy hair. The Professor found himself glancing at Lyra, who only turned her head away and clenched her jaw. 

"That's quite alright," said the Potions Master, still seeming a bit out of it at realizing his favorite couple had broken up. He interrupted them as they were about to take the empty desk, though. "Miss Evans, why don't you sit with Mr. Snape? Mr. Potter, there's a free seat next to Miss Black."

Lily didn't seem very happy about having to take a seat next to her former best friend, but Snape quickly perked up. James hesitated, but reluctantly found his way to seat next to the blonde, not wanting to argue with a teacher.

Lyra had once found Slughorn's admiration for her and James as a couple amusing. Now it was only making her want to hit her head on the table multiple times so she could be taken to the Hospital Wing and hopefully not have to live through it. 

Because while she knew it had been her fault that they had broken up, she couldn't help but be pissed off at the day James had chosen to move on, to rub it in her face. So she whispered bitterly to him. "So, you and Evans, huh?"

Through his glasses, James tried to give her an indifferent look. But she could see there some sort of emotion behind his eyes, but it was getting pretty hard to see which emotions those were. "Why do you care?"

"I don't," she lied unconvincingly. The next words she spoke, she knew she would regret. She had just gotten so peeved at his behavior, though she knew it was justified. "I just find it curious coming from the boy who claimed to love me so much that nothing could tear us apart."

"You're unbelievable," the bespectacled boy scoffed, shaking his head in anger. He quickly raised his hand, not even letting Slughorn call on him before speaking. "Professor, may I be excused? I suddenly feel a bit sick."

"Alright, my boy. That's alright." Slughorn seemed reluctant, but he still allowed James to grab his bag and rush out of the room. He then saw how Lily was trying to move as far away from Snape as possible, looking very uncomfortable and he frowned. "Miss Evans, why don't you move to sit with Miss Black then?"

That was the second worst person Lily could find herself sitting next to, but it wasn't worse than sitting with Snape in her opinion. She moved to sit next to Black girl, neither of them exchanging a single word, an awkward silence hanging over them for the whole class.

▹▹▹

A/N: It's almost 1 o'clock at night and I'm writing this because I want it to come out. Sorry if it's not perfect because of that haha, I'm trying but it's late. Love you guys lots!