Lyra was sick and tired of being sick. She had been leaning over a toilet seat for weeks, puking her guts out every single day. Finally, she had had enough. When Lucius was out on some sort of Death Eater business, Lyra had apparated over to St. Mungo's, ready to finally find out what was wrong with her. 

She would have told Lucius. She supposed that most wives told their husbands when something was wrong, but she thought it was nothing. She had also been distancing herself from him, ever since that night she saw Remus and James again. 

She had found herself psyching herself up to pack a trunk and take a step out that door every morning when Lucius left her alone in the house. Every time she was about to, she had to run to the bathroom to throw up again.  

The healer who had been doing her check up, entered the room again, finally having gotten the result of the test. It had taken so long that Lyra had to use her last name to get them to hurry up, no matter how much she hated it. "Good news. You're not sick."

Lyra, who had been particularly moody lately, glared at the healer, who was only trying to do their job. "I think you should check those charts again. I've been throwing up for two weeks straight. How am I not sick?"

The healer didn't seem very threatened by her, as if it was expected that she would get so angry. He supposed it was only hormones. "It's just morning sickness. It's a normal symptom of pregnancy in the first trimester."

Lyra's eyes widened in surprise at one of the words. She quickly reached down to clutch her stomach, but not thinking it felt any different or more bloated than usual. "Are you saying that I'm pregnant?"

"I am. Congratulations, Mrs. Malfoy," he nodded curtly at her. "By my estimates, you're about ten weeks along. I'd say you're due around the end of May or start of June. I can't tell unless we do further testing. I can set up an appointment for it."

"Thank you," Lyra smiled politely. It was quite forced, though. She had always been excited to become a mother one day, but not so soon. Not when she had been trying to psyche herself up to leave her husband. This child was a like a trap, trapping her inside her life with Lucius. She looked down at her stomach, frowning. 

Now, there was no going back. There was a child coming, one that Lyra would be responsible for. There was no way she could be so selfish to leave it without its father. She was determined now, to protect it. She would have to get it together. 

▹▹▹

Lyra had been even more silent than usual at her daily dinner with Lucius. Then again, she had been strangely silent for the last weeks. Lucius hadn't bothered to comment on it. He had long days doing Merlin knows what. The silence was welcome. 

"How's your day been?" Lucius asked casually as they ate whatever meal the house-elves had prepared that day. He always asked, right in the middle of the dinner, just to be polite. He hadn't ever cared much about the answer. She always answered the same thing anyway. 

Lyra looked at his nonchalant face, knowing he was expecting her to answer with the usual fine and they'd just go on with their lives. But she felt the pressure of what she had found out pressing on her chest, so she blurted out: "I went to St. Mungo's today."

Lucius quickly dropped his fork on his plate, making it ring out through the room. He looked alarmed. Going to St. Mungo's never seemed to bode well, especially for a man who had lost both his parents there. "Why would you do that?"

"I've been feeling ill for a few weeks so I went to get checked up and..." she tried to explain, though hesitating before she gave him the final answer. "I found out that I'm pregnant. I'm due around June."

"These are glorious news!" he quickly exclaimed. He had forgotten all about his dinner as he pushed himself out of his chair and rushed towards her, almost stumbling over his own feet. That was especially strange as he was usually so frigid and graceful. 

It was only a few seconds before he found himself next to her chair, grabbing her face and pulling her up so she was standing. He then connected his lips with her gladly, kissing her with more passion than he ever had. 

Lyra was surprised at his joy and at the way he was kissing her. It almost felt like they were together, not only husband and wife. It was the first time she had ever felt some strange sort of happiness with him. 

Once he felt satisfied in showing his excitement through kissing his wife, Lucius pulled away and fell to his knees in front of her stomach. He touched it gently, sending her a more genuine smile than he ever had before. Lyra hesitantly smiled back. 

▹▹▹

Being pregnant was annoying. Lyra had been done with the morning sickness ages ago, she several months along now. But she had become quite visibly pregnant, feeling extremely bloated yet hungry all the time. Her feet were swollen too. She just hoped that stupid baby would come out soon, but she had a few months left to go. 

Her swollen feet also made it much more annoying to sneak out of Malfoy Manor in the middle of the night to go out on a clandestine meeting. One that she knew she shouldn't be going to. But she knew she had to. 

She was waiting for someone, hidden in the darkness of her dark cloak in the middle of the night. Although her pale skin and the snow surrounding them contrasted it heavily. She was shivering as she tried to wrap it tighter around herself. 

"I see congratulations are in order," a voice said from behind her. An elderly man with a long, grey beard, not seeming to try to hide in his flowing, red robes, approached her, his eyes twinkling behind his half-moon glasses. 

Lyra jumped where she stood, quickly turning around to face her old Headmaster. He hadn't changed at all. She supposed one didn't usually change much when they had passed ninety. "Thank you, sir."

"May I ask why you have requested for us to meet?" Albus Dumbledore asked, seeming quite curious. He usually prided himself with being one step ahead those around him, but he had not expected to hear from her of all people. 

The pregnant twenty-year-old glanced around them, looking very nervous that someone would overhear. "If anybody finds out that I went to see you then I'll surely be killed. They won't care about my... situation."

"I see. You have my word, Mrs. Malfoy," Dumbledore promised. It was strange to hear him call her that. Every time they spoken before, she was always Miss Black. "I won't tell a soul to make sure no harm comes to your child."

"My son," the blonde corrected, though not seeming very happy about these news, only pursing her lips and taking a deep breath before continuing to speak. "It's a boy. I found out earlier today."

The old man narrowed his eyes slightly, sensing her discomfort with the idea. He thought most pureblood families were quite happy for their first child to be a boy. "Those are wonderful news, are they not?"

Lyra sighed deeply, her hand subconsciously travelling to her bloated stomach. He had kicked for the first time a few days ago. After that, she always found herself feeling her stomach, waiting for another one. "I fear it will just make it even more difficult to protect him in this cold world."

"Does this bring us to why we're here in the middle of a cold winter night?" Dumbledore asked. He was a busy man, one who liked to get his sleep at night. Of course, he couldn't deny her the opportunity to get some help for her obvious sadness, so he was there. But he would still like to get to the point. 

"Is there any chance that the Order of the Phoenix will win the war?" she asked desperately. She knew there was a strange irony in her asking this, as she had been the one to reveal their existence in the first place. "I don't want any little hints or vague responses, Headmaster. I just need a straight answer for once."

"Alright. Then I'll give you one. There is a very good chance that we will," he answered honestly, which sort of surprised her. "To make sure of this, the Potters and the Longbottoms have gone into hiding for the time being. That's all I can say out of concern for their safety."

Lyra closed her eyes, feeling tears attempt to spring to them. James was in danger. So was his wife. She knew that now, and suddenly everything she had done felt like it was for nothing. "I understand. I'm not to be trusted."

A knowing smile came to Dumbledore's face as he noted the change in her expression once he mentioned the Potters. "On the contrary. When it comes to the safety of James Potter, I'm sure I can trust you above almost anyone."

For a while, Lyra had forgotten that Dumbledore knew about them. She wondered how she could ever forget that she basically snogged James in front of the whole school at one point, standing on a table to reveal their love. "I used to think so, too. It seems it didn't help much if he had to go into hiding now. Even if I don't know why."

"I know that you loved him. Seeing you now, I'm quite sure you still do," he said wisely, looking comforting though cold in a strange combination she didn't like. "But, unfortunately, he can no longer be your concern."

Offended, she furrowed her brows. She couldn't imagine James's safety not being her concern. "How can you say that? If I can do something, anything, to protect him then I have to do it! That's what love is, sir."

"I'm well aware of how love works, Lyra," he responded firmly. "But you need to protect your son. And to do this, you should stay on the sidelines and let this war unfold naturally. We wouldn't want you, or your child, to get hurt."

She frowned, a tear falling from her cheeks. He was right, she knew that. James had all these people to protect her. He didn't need her anymore. Her son had nobody, he would need her much more. "Is there nothing more I can do?"

He shook his head. "Unfortunately not."

Lyra hated the idea of leaving James's safety up to anybody but herself. She wished she could find him and lock him a basement somewhere so she knew he was safe and under her watch. But that would be very unlikely and dumb. "You'll keep him safe, won't you? Please."

"I'm doing my best."

"There's no way I could make you promise me that he'll be fine, I suppose?" the blonde asked hopefully. She didn't enjoy the way he had gone back to vague answers that wouldn't bring her any comfort. 

"I'm afraid not," Dumbledore said apologetically, looking genuinely sorry that he coulnd't help her any more than he had. "Nobody's safety can be guaranteed. That's the most horrid thing about war."

"And yet it rages on," she said softly. "I don't want my son to grow up in a time of war. I did. From the time I was ten. It's not a life for a child to live. I don't want him to end up like I have. Please. End the war. For the children if not for anyone else."

As a former teacher, and a current headmaster, these words seemed to hit him where it mattered. Especially when they came from a former student that he had once had in his care. "It's what I'm planning on doing."

"Good," she nodded curtly, knowing there was nothing more to say. Now she could only walk away and resign herself to a life in the sidelines. "Good night, Professor. It was good to see you again."

▹▹▹

It was June 5th when Lyra felt the worst pains of her life (excluding the Cruciatus curse, but she wasn't sure it was too far off). She had thought being pregnant was awful enough, having yelled at Lucius every time he asked her to walk more than ten steps at a time.

But being in labor was actual hell. It lasted for hours on end, seeming like it was never going end. If he ever tried to act like a brat, she would remind him of the pain she had gone through just to get him to the world. That would serve him right. 

She couldn't have imagined how wonderful it was when they placed him in her arms for the first time. It was a reawakening, feeling the happiness she had missed from her life suddenly reappear in the small bundle of joy in her arms. Little Draco. 

"He's so beautiful. I didn't think babies could be so beautiful," Lyra muttered tiredly, laying in her bed at St. Mungo's, not able to keep her eyes off his squished little face. "How lucky we are to have gained such a blessing."

"You've done well, Lyra," Lucius said, sitting down next to her on the bed. He looked at her with a strange amount of affection before leaning in to kiss her forehead sweetly. She smiled at him tiredly. "Rest now."

▹▹▹

Lyra had been sleeping for hours, feeling the effects of going through a long and difficult labor. The healers came by every so often to make sure she was alright, but they weren't worried about how long she was sleeping. When she finally woke up, it was because she felt someone take her hand. 

"Sirius?" Lyra muttered through her blurry eyesight. She supposed it could have been Regulus, according to how hard it was to see when she wasn't really awake. But she still hadn't seen or heard from him in so long. "What are you doing here?"

"I heard you gave birth. I couldn't stop myself from coming by and checking it out. It's easy to sneak in places when you're an unregistered Animagus, you know." He grinned widely, nodding to where Draco was sleeping close by. "Cute kid."

"I know. He's adorable, isn't he?" Lyra smiled softly, watching him and the platinum blond tufts of hair already on the top of his head. He had a surprising amount of hair for being a blond baby. "I had my doubts about giving birth to a tiny Malfoy, but it was worth it."

While Sirius was glad that she was happy with the baby, he was more worried about her. "Are you alright? I haven't seen you in a long time. I barely got a glimpse of you last November. If you don't count that, I haven't seen you in two years."

"I'm managing," she answered vaguely. She wasn't good, not in any way. She hadn't been good since since the day she felt Bellatrix's Cruciatus curse, two and a half years ago. But she was the closest she had been. "How are you? How are the boys?"

"I'm... fine. The boys are the boys. There's nothing else behind it." There was something about Sirius's voice that made her think there was something wrong, that he didn't feel like talking about them. 

 He seems to have a tone of voice saying he doesn't want to talk about them. She wants to dig, but she's so tired. She had just gone through a long labor.

Lyra so desperately wanted to dig. To hear about Remus and Peter and James again. But she was too tired to try. She had just gone through a very long labor. She wanted to enjoy the time she had with her old favorite cousin. "I missed you so much."

Sirius gripped her hand tighter, pulling it to his lips and kissing her knuckles sweetly. There was a shine in his eyes as he looked at her. Through her tired eyes, she could barely make them out as tears. "I missed you, too, darling."

"Did you hear about Regulus?" Lyra asked. She didn't feel like she had anyone to talk about him with. Bellatrix and Narcissa didn't want to talk about it. That's how their family had always been. If it's not worth celebrating, then it's worth forgetting and never talking about again. No wonder they turned out so screwed up. 

A tear looked like it fell from his eye as he sniffled. He hadn't allowed him self to mourn his brother in front of anyone. Nobody around him had cared about Regulus. They didn't think he had either. "I did."

Lyra sniffled, tears coming to her own eyes. "I feel like I gave up everything for nothing sometimes. I left you to protect Regulus, and now he's gone. Probably dead as we haven't heard anything from him in over six months."

"I wanted to please Rabastan, but he's nowhere to be seen most of time. Always out doing Merlin knows what. And I wanted to protect James, who's supposedly in danger anyway," she explained. 

That was no surprise for him. He had always known, better than almost anyone (except maybe Remus), what had been going on inside her head. "I always had a feeling."

"You've always known me better than I think. I'm sorry for lying to you for so long. You knew the truth, I just didn't want to admit it," she finally said the words that had been on the tip of her tongue for two and a half years.  "Bella threatened him. And all of you. She'd tortured me when I admitted it."

The dark-haired man's jaw clenched at this. Part of him had never doubted that it was the explanation. That didn't mean it hurt any less to officially hear, though. "I know. It's alright."

"I was thinking about leaving Lucius, you know?" Lyra admitted, sniffling. "For James, for all of you. After that night in November, when I saw him. It was right before I found out I was pregnant."

"He would have taken you back. I know he would," Sirius said sincerely. He knew that if those words came from him, then it would have to be true. He knew James as well as he knew Lyra, if not better. 

"Does he love her, Sirius?" Lyra asked, a question she had wanted to ask ever since Valentine's Day 1978. She wasn't sure which answer he could give that would hurt more. "Be honest with me. I want him to be happy."

"I think so," he said honestly, frowning. "It's hard to tell sometimes. I catch him thinking of you a lot. He has this specific look on his face when he does. Lily doesn't see it. At least, I don't think she does. But I do."

"I regret it. All of it, all my choices. I wish I could go back in time and tell myself it's not worth it," Lyra sobbed, tears streaming down her face. "But now, I look at Draco and I know that I can't be selfish anymore. Everything I do will have to be for him."

Sirius wanted to cry as well. He had never liked seeing her upset. That hadn't changed. "I understand, Lyra. But if at any point, you or him ever feel the need to escape, then Uncle Sirius is always here for you. Both of you. I'll take care of you. James or no James."

"I hope it won't ever come to that. I just want him to be safe and happy. That's all I want for him." The new mother, who had been staring at her baby son, turned to look at her cousin instead. "That's all I want for you, too."

"I want you to be happy, Lyra. If the only way to make that happen is by making that little runt happy, too, then I'll support all your choices." He glanced at the door as he heard footsteps pass by, though nobody entered the room. "I can't stick around. The nurses come by a lot and check on you. They'll be here any minute."

She shook her head, though it was still rested against her pillow. She hadn't seen Sirius for so long, and she had no idea when she would see him again. She wanted this moment to last for as long as possible. "I don't want you to leave. I've missed you so much."

"I don't want to leave either. Trust me, I don't," he said. He sat himself next to her, on the edge of her bed. He pulled her into his arms for a second, kissing her hair affectionately. "But, hey, I love you. Always."

"Gross," she joked, like she had always done when they were younger. It seemed like such a long time ago. He chuckled deeply as he stood up from his seat, walking towards the door. Right before he was able to open it, she called out to him. "But, hey! I love you, too."

He winked at her for a second, making her chuckle tiredly, before he opened the door, walking out and leaving her alone in the room, only with her son on her side.