It was early November 1979 when Lyra Malfoy attended one of her only Death Eater meetings. She usually tried to stay away, coming up with some excuse or saying that she didn't feel necessary whenever anyone would invite her, especially Rabastan. 

She didn't want to hear the Dark Lord once again ask her if she was soon available to take the Dark Mark. Lucius, her husband of nine months, usually covered for her if he had to. He knew that he was bound by honor to keep that mark off her left forearm. It had been one of his promises made to make her marry him. 

Rabastan had invited her to the meeting she currently found herself at, one that was set in his own family manor. She had tried to decline, saying she felt sick (which wasn't a lie, she had been feeling a bit under the weather lately.) He said it was absolutely vital that she was there, although promising the Dark Lord wouldn't take a specific interest in her. 

Lucius said that he had tried to get her out of it, but Rabastan had been adamant. Even if she puked all over the Dark Lord himself, she was going to stay there throughout the whole meeting. The image of that happened made Lyra laugh internally. 

So, that's how she got there. Sitting in between Regulus, a new Hogwarts graduate, and her husband at the Lestrange Manor. It was hard to know who had come to the meeting, seeing as everyone was strangely wearing their intricately designed masks. Well, everyone except for her.

She was quiet, keeping her gaze on her hands, who were tightly intertwined on the dark, wooden table of the dining hall. She was intently listening to the Dark Lord's evil speech, that seemed to get more evil every time. 

"I am pleased to inform you of our infiltration of the Order of the Phoenix. We now have a man on the inside, giving us important information," he smiled coldly. "That is exactly why I have called more of you here than usual, and asked you to wear your masks."

He glanced at Lyra, the only one who was barefaced and shown off the world, seeming to find it amusing that she was sitting there, trying to be unnoticed next to her husband. "Well, those of you who have masks. Now we must only wait."

She thought it was especially strange to think about the Order of the Phoenix in the Lestrange Manor, where she had discovered its existence, forcing her way into Sturgis Podmore's mind, gathering information to help Rabastan and Regulus. She was only seventeen then. Now she was a month from twenty. 

Though she was also wondering what they were waiting for. No matter what it was, Lyra was sure it wasn't good. She also hated the feeling of being so exposed in comparison to everyone else, wearing her usual clothes and her face on show while everyone worse Death Eater robes and masks. 

Then the Dark Lord smirked, pulling out his wand. Just as one of the walls of the Lestrange Manor exploded, he cast a powerful shield charm, allowing his Death Eaters to have enough time to get their wands out. 

Some of the debris flew past the charm, though. Lucius hurried to pull Lyra underneath him to shield her from it, instinctively. They had been married for nine months and had been living together for over a year. They had learned to become some sort of team. 

Spells started flying past her, and Lyra was fumbling as she reached into her robes, looking for her wand. She was internally cursing herself for being so clumsy when it mattered, but she was also externally trying to avoid actual curses being thrown at her head. 

The Dark Lord had known about the attack, that much she knew. He had been quiet obvious about. If he knew, she wouldn't be surprised if Rabastan did as well. She wondered, if he knew, why did he tell her to come?

Maybe he was still angry about her and James, the way she had betrayed their cause for so long without him knowing and he hoped she would get hurt because she deserved it. She didn't find that very likely. He had always tried to protect her when need be. He had proven that.

The idea that seemed more likely was that he believed she could defend herself, and help defend the others, once again proving herself to the Dark Lord and he would make her take the mark. She had evaded being a Death Eater for years now, and maybe he thought it was due time.

The Order of the Phoenix was a force to be reckoned with as they shot spells at the Death Eaters with all their might. Lyra thought she may have been let off easy as she wasn't clear a target, not wearing a mask or Death Eater robe. 

She wasn't completely safe, though. She was casting spells, hexes and jinxes she hadn't used in a year and a half at her N.E.W.T.s. She hadn't ever been in a battle before and she was terrified. "Protego! Stupefy! Expelliarmus!"

Suddenly, someone grabbed her from behind. She was trying to squeal and call for help, hopefully to get her husband's attention, but the person covered her mouth as they pulled her into a dark corner of the incredibly large room, void of any fighting. 

The person struggled to hold her, even when she was so weak. It didn't help the person the way that she was trying bite at his finger and claw at his face. She may not have been strong, but she had long nails. "Lyra, what the hell are you doing here?"

"Remus?" she realized, quickly recognizing the voice once he spoke. She ripped herself out of his arms and looked at him, studying him carefully. She hadn't seen him in over a year. He hadn't changed much, only a few new scars and tattered robes. "What are you doing here?"

The werewolf looked at her incredulously, holding out his wand to cast a silent shield charm as a spell seemed to be coming their way. He had always been good at those. "Isn't it obvious? I'm part of the Order of the Phoenix."

That was the worst news she had heard all day. She should have realized it. James had been hinting at it the night they met in the Astronomy Tower. She had just hoped it wasn't true. "And the other boys? Sirius? Peter? James?"

"We're all here," he said quickly, casting a glance into the crowd. The first person she managed to catch a sight of was Sirius, who was laughing loudly as he dueled who she recognized as Rabastan. He couldn't have known it was him, but she was sure he would have only laughed louder at knowing this. 

"You're all idiots! Absolute idiots! You haven't changed a bit," the blonde sighed, gripping her wand tightly. "You need to get out of here right now. They're prepared, Remus! You have a traitor in your midst."

Remus suddenly looked much more alarmed at this. He couldn't ever imagine someone in their ranks betraying them. They were all fighting because they believed in the cause and chose to be brave. It didn't seem likely. Then again, part of him still trusted her. "What? How do you know this? Do you know who it is?"

Lyra tried to remember if there had been any hints in the Dark Lord's speech, but she couldn't think of any that could help him. "I have no idea who it is. I just know there is one because of the Dark Lord. He told us just five minutes ago."

"The Dark Lord?" the young man scoffed, looking disgusted at her words. That the once so sweet and kind girl he had called his best friend was speaking like a Death Eater. "That's what you call him?"

"Lupin! Get over here! We need you!" an unfamiliar voice called out, making Remus look their way. He hesitated, knowing that he needed to fight. But then he looked at Lyra, who looked so small and scared in that moment. He knew he couldn't leave her unprotected. 

He reached out and grabbed the first guy he could see. Lyra recognized him even before he turned around, mostly because of the mess he called hair sticking up in the back, along with the voice sending stunning spells  at who she was sure was Lucius (she thought he knew so, too, as one could see his trademark platinum blonde hair).

As a spell was sent flying towards them, James Potter whipped his wand in its direction, casting a shield spell. He threw himself in front of Lyra before she even had time to react. "Lyra, what the hell are you doing here?"

Part of her wanted to stay silent, to just stare at his face for hours. Because there he was, right in front of her, for the first time in so long. She also just wanted to cry. But there was a battle raging around them. Still, she sounded so small when she spoke. "We don't have time for this."

"Then we'll make time!" James snapped at her. From the pocket of his robes he pulled out a familiar cloak, the Invisibility Cloak. She couldn't react before he had pulled her into his arms and thrown the cloak over them. 

Nobody intentionally cast spells at the invisible pair, but they were still close to being caught in the crossfire a few times. James, with his famed Quidditch reflexes, were able to protect them from all of them before Lyra could even raise her wand. 

He pulled her out of the dining hall, with all the fighting and through a nearby room. Once they entered, Lyra pulled herself out of his arms and whipped the invisiblity cloak off them. He was careful and whispered to her. "Are we going to be safe here?"

"Follow me," she muttered, grabbing his wrist to pull him through another door in the room, leading them into a much smaller room than the last, but also much safer. "If we're going to be safe anywhere, it'll be here."

That gave him an opportunity to finally turn his glare on her, looking at her with such heated anger that she hadn't seen from him in years, since she had called Remus a monster for being a werewolf. She shuddered at the memory. "What are you doing here? With the Death Eaters?"

"I'm not one of them," the blonde assured him, hating the way he was looking at her. It was almost like he was disgusted by her. "I'm just here, for support."

He didn't seem prepared to take her word for it. He grabbed her arm, raising her sleeve to check for a mark. He sighed in relief when he couldn't find one. "What are you doing supporting Death Eaters? You're better than this."

"What about you?" she retorted, crossing her arms stubbornly. "I told you not to put your life at risk! And you go and join the Order of the Phoenix! What do your parents think about this?"

James's eyes, previously relieved to not find the Mark, now hardened. It seemed like they had to harden for them not to cry.  "My parents died six months ago. Right after I married Lily."

Lyra's face quickly fell at this. She remembered their kindness, their sweetness. Fleamont and Euphemia had taken her inn when she was broken and showed her so much love. She couldn't ever repay them for that. "I'm so sorry. Your parents..."

"Don't," James said sternly, shaking his head. "Not now. You need to stop this. You need to get out of this place. Is it Malfoy? Is he pushing you into this? Or is it Lestrange? I knew he was a bad influence on you."

Lyra knew it was petty, but she didn't enjoy the way he was talking down on Lucius, who had only tried to protect her, and Rabastan, who was better than he thought. "You know, some people would say the same about you."

This seemed to anger James a lot more. The woman he had loved, that he had tried so hard to impress and improve for, was calling him a bad influence on her. He couldn't believe it. "Don't. I always did my best to protect you and be a good man for you."

She closed her eyes for a moment, realizing she had gone much too far. "I know. I'm sorry."

"Finally you say that," he scoffed, looking at her strangely. It was like he was trying to find the Lyra Black he had known behind the eyes of Lyra Malfoy. "I've been waiting for almost two years to hear you say that."

Then her eyes widened, giving them back the sort of innocence and hope they had once held. They looked like the eyes he had fallen in love with. "And you still held out hope?"

Once her expression changed, reminding him of better and happier times, his did as well. He looked sympathetic and kind, more like the James Potter she had known. "Even when I shouldn't have."

An explosion quickly sounded from the dining hall, making Lyra jump in surprise. James grabbed her arm to steady her, a natural instinct to touch and protect her. He quickly glanced at the door worriedly. "Look, Lyra. I didn't steal you away just to chitchat. I'm begging you to keep out of trouble."

"I've been doing my best," she said honestly. She wanted her to keep out of trouble, too. "It's a complicated situation."

"You're still here during a battle between the Order and Death Eaters," James reminded her. "And you married Lucius Malfoy, a suspected Death Eater. I'm supposing I can confirm it as you're here right now."

"Don't say anything. Please. He's my husband, James," Lyra begged. He looked at her, pained. She didn't know it was because of the reminder of her being married to another man, or because of the way she had said his name. The way she used to. "I need him. Please."

He contemplated this for a moment. It would completely go against his morals, but he still felt such a strong loyalty to Lyra, one he couldn't shake. He supposed that was what love was. "Fine. For you. I can't believe I'm still doing all I can for you after all these years."

"I would have done the same for you."

"Would you?"

"Even if you don't believe me, I would have."

As they looked at one another, both looking pained at being so close yet so far apart, the door to the room opened. They both quickly pointed their wands at the door. But the person opening it was only Peter Pettigrew, looking between them with an unreadable expression. "James, we need you. Now."

James hesitated, knowing his duty. But he didn't want to leave Lyra behind. He knew he had to. It had been fated for them to leave each other behind ever since that day she had broken up with him, almost two years ago.

He still reached out and grabbed her face, staring sternly yet sincerely into her eyes. "Please, Lyra. If you ever even cared about me a little bit, take care of yourself. Keep out of trouble as much as you can. Promise me."

Lyra was about to say that there was no way she could promise that. But then she saw the desperate look in his eyes, reminding her too much of the look of love he used to show her every day. The concern, the need for her safety. "I promise."

James sighed in relief. Though he knew it wasn't right, he followed his natural instincts. He leaned his forehead against her for a moment, breathing in the scent of strawberries. He had missed that scent. 

They didn't stay like that for more than a few moments before James turned to Peter, about to run off. But Lyra, so intoxicated by him, still so deeply in love, couldn't let him just run off. "James! I lied to you. The night we ended things. The truth is... I never stopped loving you."

Something in his face changed. His expression was unreadable as he stared at her, a tear streaming down her face. It was too late, they both knew that. They were on opposing sides of a war, both married but not to each other. So he only looked at her. 

There were so many more things she wanted to tell him, that burned within her heart. But she knew that all it would do was hurt him even more. So she let it burn, even if it would leave her scorched in the process.

Peter knew there wasn't enough time for this, so he grabbed James and pulled him out of the room, leaving her alone. Lyra let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding, turning her head away as another tear fell. 

▹▹▹

Lyra had realized something the moment Lucius had found her, pulling her into his arms in relief of her safety. He was her husband, he was supposed to be the most important person in her life, the one she couldn't stop thinking about. 

Yet, when she looked at him... she realized that in the last year and half, she hadn't felt close to as much for him as she did for the few moments she had just shared with James, who she hadn't seen for over a year.

She didn't tell him this, of course. She wasn't an idiot. She only sat in their bedroom, all alone, as she contemplated. It was hard to think so much when she was filled with nausea, feeling like she was going to puke any moment. 

Lyra wondered. If she would come knocking on his door, would he take her back? Something within her told her that he would. Because, no matter what, she still would have done the same thing. 

She lifted her hand to cover her mouth, feeling ready to throw up. She forced it down, though. She was supposed to be having a great emotional epiphany. She couldn't let the fact that she'd been sick ruin that.

Regulus then opened the door to the bedroom. He didn't say a word as he approached her, his face white as a ghost, looking horrified. Lyra frowned, concerned. "Regulus? What's wrong? What are you doing here?"

"There's something I have to do," he muttered quickly, running his fingers through his unusually messy hair like a madman. "I discovered something. Something horrible. I have to fix it. There's something terribly wrong and dark behind the Dark Lord's success."

She was growing both more worried and more nauseous by the moment. "What do you mean?"

"I just came here to say that..." Regulus looked close to tears, terrified in a way she had never seen. "if this is the last time I ever see you, then I need you to know that I'm sorry. I know I'm one of the reasons you chose this life. You never wanted it."

Lyra both wanted to interrogate him on what he meant by the last time he'd ever see her and assure him that none of this was his fault. If he was planning to do something stupid then she wanted to stop him, and if she couldn't, she didn't want him to leave feeling guilty for supposedly ruining her life. 

But she didn't have time to speak as she felt the vomit about to come up her throat. She couldn't puke on her bed sheets, so she ran towards the nearest bathroom, expecting Regulus to run after and check up on her so they could continue their conversation. 

Lyra never saw Regulus again.