Summer was already upon Lyra, and she felt nervous as she stood outside the doors of Black Manor. Every other year, she had been picked up by one or both of her parents, but she was of age now and had an apparition license. She could get around on her own, so they thought she was her own responsibility. 

She was hesitant before opening the door to the manor. It was difficult to know how she felt about her family and their associates these days. She had had time to think about things, to build up a bitterness she wasn't sure was justified. Sometimes she forgot why she seemed to want to hate them now. Because they were her family. 

The moment she peeked through the door, she was met with the brilliantly happy faces of her mother, her father and the two older sisters who were still in her life. She couldn't keep from smiling at the sight. 

"Lyra, my love!" Druella exclaimed, barely letting the seventeen-year-old release her trunk before running up and grabbing her, kissing both of her cheeks sweetly. "You look more beautiful every time I see you."

"She's right, darling," said Cygnus, flashing her a tight smile. He wasn't the emotional type, but when they were separated for longer periods of time, this seemed to change as he put his hand on her shoulder. "It's very good to see you, Lyra."

"I very much agree," Bellatrix cackled from the side, walking up to embrace her sister. Once her lips were by her ears, she whispered softly to her. "I am so proud of you, Lyra. And your efforts have been noticed."

Lyra froze at these words, pulling away from the dark-haired girl's grip, noting how her curls had gotten much messier since the last time she had seen her, about a year ago. "What do you mean, Bella?"

A cruel, cold smirk crossed Bellatrix's beautiful features in an ill-fitting way. "Nothing in particular."

"Let her breathe for a moment, Bella," Narcissa scolded from the sidelines, winking at Lyra in secret, watching as the younger of the blondes sighed gratefully. "Perhaps she would like to unpack before you attack her."

"Of course she's not going to unpack herself, Cissy," the eldest of the three sisters rolled her eyes, a mean gleam in her eye. "We have house elves for that. Just because your husband can't afford more than one doesn't mean that the House of Black lost all its wealth."

Druella could feel a fight brewing between the two as Narcissa gaped. She didn't think that would be very appropriate during Lyra's first day back. "I suppose I'll have to talk to the house elves about preparing a great dinner now that our family is together again. It's a cause for celebration!"

"There is much more to celebrate than that," said Cygnus, his chin raised and a proud gleam in his eyes as he looked at the younger girls. "I couldn't be prouder of my three wonderful daughters. A cause of celebration all in their own."

Lyra knew that, officially, they were the three daughters of the House of Black. But she also briefly remembered when they were four. The young woman who had been pushed and tortured out of their home for not agreeing with their beliefs. The same beliefs Lyra didn't believe in.

All those thoughts quickly disappeared once Narcissa reached out and linked her arm with Lyra's, sending her a bright smile. Lyra smiled in return, happy to feel the support of the one sister that had never let her down. 

There was something about reuniting with people you knew like the back of your hand after a long time. Even when one villifies them during your time apart, there will always be the reminder of how much you love them, which was the case for Lyra.

▹▹▹

After the first day, Lyra and her parents had mostly been alone in that great manor, which she didn't mind. It gave her more time to start drafting letters to James, Sirius, Remus and Peter about how their summers were starting out. 

The calm ceased when she heard her mother ordering a bunch of house elves around, stressed beyond belief. She didn't want to ask, not wanting Druella to lash out at her for poking into her business. 

It was only when Narcissa walked into the young student's bedroom and asked if she could help fix her up a bit that she got a bit suspicious that there was more behind it than her mother's nerves. "Cissy, what's going on?"

Narcissa took a few seconds to come up with a response. "We'll be having a bit of feast dinner today. Bellatrix and her husband are coming over. Also, I'm sure you heard that Rabastan was going away soon. This is sort of a... goodbye dinner. A few family friends will be dining with us."

Lyra's first instinct was that this was going to be a Death Eater dinner. But she only said a few family friends, and that it would be a goodbye dinner for Rabastan. It would have to be a quiet affair, a dignified goodbye for her friend. At least, she hoped so. "Alright."

"Well then. We'll need to figure out what to do with this mess," the older sister then joked, referring to Lyra's soft, golden waves. "Aren't you using any of the hair potions I send you? They're a lifesaver."

Lyra grimaced awkwardly, trying to smile, knowing that the answer wasn't one Narcissa would like. 

▹▹▹

Lyra took a few minutes to get dressed after Narcissa walked down to meet with her husband, Hector, who had recently arrived for the dinner. Lyra was not afraid she would get yelled at for being late, either by her mother or Bellatrix.

That's why when she walked down into the parlor, it was already chock full of guests. Way more guests than Lyra had anticipated, or had wanted. A few she was positive were Death Eaters, although some she suspected weren't.

"Lyra, you've finally come from your room, I see," said Rabastan, charmingly, appearing out of nowhere, dressed smartly in modern, clean dress robes. He kissed her cheek in greeting. "Good to see you away."

The young girl smiled nicely at him in return, flattening her white robes to make sure it wasn't wrinkly. "It's good to see you, too. I'm glad we're having this dinner. I didn't think I'd get to see you in a long time once we left school."

"You don't have to worry about that." Rabastan's gaze suddenly traveled around the room, as if he was looking for somebody to talk to. Once he caught a glimpse of platinum hair in the corner, he smiled. "Lucius! Get over here!"

Lyra didn't not want to talk to Lucius Malfoy, but as he approached both her and Rabastan, she forced a friendly smile on her face, wanting to be polite. "Lucius. It's been a long time. What are you up to these days?"

"It's lovely to see you, Lyra, Rabastan," the young Malfoy man greeted the both of them, getting a nod from Rabastan in return. "I've been forging contacts for the most part, within the Ministry, of course. And I've been trying to do work with the Dark Lord, which has been quite successful."

"Quite successful?" Rabastan asked, as if the notion was ludicrus. He laughed loudly and put his arm on Lucius's arm. "What an understatement. Lucius here has been doing some of the best work the Death Eaters have ever seen."

"How wonderful," Lyra answered shortly. She wasn't very interested in conversing with the young man who she had once convinced her sister not to marry, because of his fascination with the Dark Arts. Also the fact that she thought he was a bit strange since she was but a child. 

"You're both going into your seventh year now, if I'm not mistaken?" Lucius started, but smiled at Rabastan as he remembered something. "Well, not you anymore, Lestrange. You've got bigger things in your future. But you, Lyra?"

She nodded, smiling tightly, but continuing the conversation just to be polite. If there was one thing she knew it was how to be engaged in proper conversation. "Yes, you're quite right. I'm Slytherin prefect, actually."

Lyra would have listened to Lucius's next words, simply because it would be mean not to. But then she caught a glimpse of greasy, black hair that she would recognize anywhere. In her house was Severus Snape, lurking around. 

She frowned, as the night was becoming ever more suspicious, and not in a good way.

▹▹▹

Dinner had finally started. While dinners at Hogwarts were always good, there was something about eating the food Lyra had grown up with, especially as she sat between her sisters and was far away from Snape. Though she did want to know what he was doing there and who invited him.

"So, Lyra," Narcissa started, bringing the attention over to her from their conversation about her son, Marcus's, growth during the past year. "Are there any cute boys at Hogwarts you have your eye on?"

Lyra chuckled nervously at this, knowing she couldn't tell the truth. Telling them she had a boyfriend who was such a big blood-traitor that his pureblood family wasn't included in the Sacred Twenty-Eight because they were such good friends with muggles. "No, not really."

"Pretty girl like you've got to have the boys swarming for a date," said her husband, Hector, from next to her with a kind, playful smile. He was a good man, one who Lyra had always liked for her sister. 

The young Slytherin blushed brightly, opening her mouth to give some smart retort. But she never had the opportunity as the door to the dining room slammed open. People jumped from their seats, rising quickly. Lyra hesitantly followed suit. 

She turned her head, watching as an unfamiliar man dressed in black robes walked towards them. He looked to be in his fifties, but it was hard to tell as his skin was so waxy and distorted. He was obviously quite handsome at some point, but age had withered his face away along with marks that could only come from the toll of abusing dark magic. 

This man could only be the Dark Lord. The man Lyra had spent the better part of two years fearing meeting, and now he had walked into her house, the one she grew up in, and taken control without even trying. 

"Please, sit," the Dark Lord said, his voice surprisingly high-pitched, and unsurprisingly cold. Lyra watched as her father moved from the head of the table to another man's seat, allowing the the Dark Lord to be seated in a leader's spot.

Lyra hesitantly sat down. She didn't want to make any sudden movements that would bring any attention to her. She needed to keep her head down and stay quiet. It was the only way she'd make it through the night unscathed.

"It pleases me greatly to see so many familiar faces, although it is good to see new ones as well," the Dark Lord spoke, scouring the room and the people in it, though his eyes never rested on Lyra. "Especially because today is a special day for three lucky young men in this very room."

"Today is the official inauguration of Rabastan Lestrange, Regulus Black and Severus Snape into the Death Eaters." While Lyra was pleased to know the explanation for Snape being in her house, but she had no idea Regulus was now going down the same path as Rabastan. It terrified her. 

The three young Slytherin boys got up from their chairs, as if on cue. She supposed they had been told how everything was going to go down. They must have been preparing for this day for weeks.

He gestured to them as they stood by his side, proudly. "These three have proven to me, your Dark Lord, that they have the qualities necessary to take their rightful places in my rank. I have faith that they will not let me down."

Lyra watched as the Dark Lord publicly put his wand to each of their left forearms, and a dark tattoo appeared on their arms before they returned to their seats. The one she had previously seen on Bellatrix's arm. The Dark Mark.

Lyra didn't join the crowd in their polite applause, because she felt paralyzed in her spot. She could only move to reach out and grab Narcissa's hand. The older sister squeezed it in either support or fear. Lyra supposed Narcissa hadn't ever seen the Dark Lord before either.

The blondes stared straight ahead, afraid to even move a muscle so they would bring attention their way. But it seemed they were doomed either way, as the Dark Lord spoke once again. "And then there is the matter of Lyra Black." 

Lyra's head turned towards him quickly, almost giving her whiplash. She could feel everybody's eyes on her, but she couldn't move. She was stuck in her seat, scared of what would happen if she did, until Bellatrix whispered sharply. "Stand up, Lyra."

Every single nerve in her body told her not to, to stay in place where she hopefully wouldn't get hurt. But, logically, she understood that if she didn't move of her own accord then she would be forced to. So she stood up.

His cold eyes traveled to her, smiling as pleasantly as he could, although it never reached his eyes. She supposed he must have been used to faking charming smiles to get his way. "Please, Lyra. You may approach."

If not for her heels clicking against the stone floor, Lyra wouldn't have been sure that she was moving at all. It didn't feel like she was, probably because she wished she wasn't. She wanted to run out of the house, but she wasn't sure he would be too happy with that.

Once she had reached the spot that Rabastan, Regulus and Snape had just been standing in, the Dark Lord turned to the crowd. "As some of you may know, Lyra Black has been a crucial part, if not the most crucial part, of discovering both the existence and the plans of the Order of the Phoenix."

Lyra couldn't breathe as he spoke, wanting to clutch her throat and gasp. "I have heard a great deal of her gifts, and I believe she has proven that she has great promise. She sounds like quite the asset to our cause. But I must be properly convinced."

The seventeen-year-old witch felt like she was going to faint any minute as she watched a couple of unfamiliar Death Eaters (or maybe even just henchmen) pulled a struggling and crying man into the room with them.

She had to stifle a gasp as she quickly recognized the man. She had spent the whole year in his class, after all. Professor Robert Dowson, the only Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher she'd had that had lasted the whole year. The teacher who had taken Remus Lupin, her best friend, under his wing and taught him the Patronus Charm. He had been a good teacher and a good person. 

The Dark Lord seemed amused at her reaction, as if her pain and shock was a game to him. "It's time for you to live up to the stories and show that you are worthy. That you're more than just a pretty face."

"What do you want me to do?" Lyra asked, confused. Part of her knew the answer to the question, but she didn't want to know. She then realized that she had spoken out of turn, and not respectfully so she added on a: "My lord."

A cruel chuckle erupted from his white lips, although there was no humor behind it. "I want you to torture him."

Lyra looked into her Professor's eyes as he pleaded with her silently, not able to speak because of an obvious silencing charm. She wanted to cry, but didn't want to show weakness. "I- I can't. I've never performed the Cruciatus curse before." 

"Raise your wand," he commanded, his voice sending goodbumps up her arm. She realized how he was such a good leader, because he scared everyone into doing his bidding, which she then did. "It's simple. All you have to do is really want to cause pain."

The young girl hesitated, knowing whatever she said had to be respectful, because she didn't want to cause trouble. That's all she'd been trying to avoid. "I sincerely wish that I could do this, my lord. But I fear that I'm not strong enough."

He tutted. "It would be a shame if that were true. You have several family members here tonight, all of whom could quickly end up at my mercy, as could you. Your parents, your sisters, your newly inducted cousin."

"Bellatrix has told me that you are a model Slytherin, Lyra," the Dark Lord hissed at her. "Our values are focused on selv-preservation but also fraternity. I hope you'll show that you carry these values as well. For yours and your family's sake."

Lyra watched as her hand shook, her wand not steady as she watched Professor Dowson, who had taught her so much, who had taught Remus so much. He had brought so much knowledge to her, and she repaid him how? By preparing to torture him. 

She teared up as she realized that she not only had to want to torture him, she neeeded it. Because if she couldn't do it, it would have dire consequences. She imagined her sisters, her parents or Regulus screaming in pain the same way Andromeda and Sirius had in front of her years before. 

And she needed it. She needed his pain. "Crucio."

The screams would haunt her forever. Her curse and the strength of it seemed to have broken the silencing charm put upon him. She wished she could have her eyes closed, to not have to watch what was going on, but she couldn't cast the curse as long as she needed it to work. She needed to concentrate, to imagine all the reasons this had to happen.

Blood appeared out of nowhere as it mingled with sweat and tears, causing a mix of fluids. It was a nightmare to know that it was there because of him. The pain, the screams, the blood, the sweat, the tears... they were all because of Lyra.

It felt like hours, but it was only a couple of minutes before the Dark Lord spoke up, his voice silent but still easily heard throughout the room, even over the shrill screams escaping their victim. "That's enough." 

Lyra could only then truly focus on Robert Dowson, or who he had once been. There was nothing reminding her of the strong, brilliant Professor she had known. Now he was a bleeding, broken shell of a man. 

Nobody seemed to notice the tears coming to Lyra's eyes, except for The Dark Lord, who simply didn't care. He didn't have time for her foolish emotions. "You do truly have great potential, Lyra. But I see you still have a bit to learn."

"Avada Kedavra!" And Robert Dowson was no more. Lyra wanted to scream out, to do something that could have made her something other than a coward. Something to make her Gryffindors proud. But all she could do was whimper quietly, watching the death of a good man.

The blonde turned her head away, not wanting to look at the corpse on the ground. She looked at the crowd, that had been silently watching her every move. She noticed Narcissa crying onto Hector's shoulder, hoping to muffle her sobs.

"We'll make a formidable Death Eater of you yet."Lyra could barely hear the Dark Lord's words as she focused on steadying her breathing, forcing herself to keep her tears back as she met the curious gaze of Lucius Malfoy.

Lyra had hated herself many, many times. More times than she had liked herself, she was sure. But never before had she wanted to stop living, because it would be less painful than being alive. Because now self-hatred was all she could feel.