Lyra's first day back at Hogwarts after Easter break was already wonderful the moment she sat down for breakfast. She was talking to Lucinda, laughing with her as they both tried to ignore Rabastan's existence. It was actually almost fun that the fact they were both angry with him had only brought the two friends closer. 

He hadn't come to breakfast yet, but they could still discuss all the things he did that either annoyed them or pissed them off. Of course, Lyra didn't tell her what had happened during the break, because she didn't think Lucinda would be able to handle it. She was still quite innocent when it came to these things, at least for a Slytherin pureblood. 

They both turned their head as both Regulus and Rabastan stalked into the hall (both of whom Lucinda had snogged at one point). While Rabastan took a seat between Lyra and Avery, though focusing on talking to the latter as Regulus dropped a letter in front of her. He didn't even say a word as he walked towards other fifth-years, leaving them behind.

Lyra froze, looking quite tense, as she saw the already opened letter, with neat handwriting on it, addressing it to three people. To Rabastan Lestrange, Regulus and Lyra Black, Hogwarts. 

Lucinda didn't want to comment on the change in her demeanor and instead turned her back on Lyra to start a conversation with a group of girls discussing the best potion to keep their hair from curling overnight. 

Our dear younger siblings (and cousin),
Rabastan, Regulus and Lyra

We are both so very proud of the three of you. We both have the utmost faith in you, but you have outdone all we thought of you. You truly are two great wizards and a wonderful witch. The houses of Black and Lestrange are so grateful for how you have represented us. 

Your information has already proven useful. We cannot say in this letter how this has helped, in case it may be intercepted. But we are all very grateful, and so proud of you. You are on a great path, one that we will help all of you come on. 

Now, for Lyra in particular (that means you should stop reading, boys) from your loving big sister. The fact that you joined in with this mission due to wanting it so badly, not from being given a mere task to complete. I am especially proud of you. You are not only representing our family, but all witches who want the same greatness wizards do. You and I are going to lead us into a golden age for witches, as sisters, side by side. I love you very much and have much pride for you. 

Love, your siblings (and cousin/cousin-in-law)
Bellatrix and Rodolphus

It was awful to know that what she had done was now common knowledge in Death Eater circles. She had even caught some of the people in her house looking at her differently, in some strange mix of fear, respect and house pride. 

Lyra found herself glancing towards the teacher's table, to the one she had so much respect for, but had ultimately betrayed out of fear. Albus Dumbledore looked tense, more tense than she had ever seen him. 

She could have imagined things, but she could have sworn Dumbledore glanced her way as she finished reading the letter, watching her become paler for every word she read. It barely looked like she had any blood in her cheeks. 

He must have had some idea of what it was about, maybe there had already been a fight between the Death Eaters and the Order, and he knew exactly where they got the information. How he always found a way to know everything was beyond her. 

Rabastan leaned over her to grab a roll, but then he saw that she had finished reading the letter, so he grinned widely, thinking she couldn't possibly be mad at him anymore. "You've finished reading it, have you?"

"I suppose you have to," she answered softly, almost forgetting that she was angry with him as her mind was elsewhere, clouded with fear. "You didn't read the part about me, did you? You weren't supposed to."

"Of course I didn't," he responded, looking like he was offended by the suggestion. She wouldn't have put it past him, not anymore. "Even if I wanted to, I'm sure she'd put some conditional hex if either Regulus or I tried to read it."

"Sounds like her," Lyra agreed bitterly, reaching to pull a strand of blonde hair behind her hair. She kept glancing down at the letter before she realized it was possible for people to read it and she quickly folded it together. 

"You know, words cannot express how happy I am that everything worked out so well. And I am so very grateful for your help." Rabastan still didn't think she was angry with him, so he casually threw an arm around her shoulder. 

The Slytherin girl stiffened as she felt his touch, not wanting it. She felt eyes on her and looked over the Ravenclaw table, towards the Gryffindors, where her gaze met James's. She suddenly became hyperaware of another boy with his arms around her. Especially one he hated. 

She watched as he clenched his jaw and turned away, whether it was mostly in jealousy or anger she didn't know. But she knew she was getting angry herself, so she pushed Rabastan's arm off her. Before he could protest or start and argument, she turned to join Lucinda and the girls' conversation. 

▹▹▹

While Lyra had missed snogging James or talking to Sirius and maybe even hanging around Peter during the break, there was one person she had missed the most. And that was Remus bloody Lupin, who she had waited to patrol with. 

The two had lost several months of their friendship during the winter, and since they had made up (or, Lyra had come to her senses) and now she appreciated every moment she spent with him as much as she could. 

Words couldn't really describe how grateful she was that she had been made prefect, just so she could have become friends with Remus, the first person she felt was truly her friend because he liked her as a person. That was something she appreciated deeply. 

So when Lyra had an opportunity to see him, to patrol with him, after barely seeing him for over a week, she quite literally jumped into his arms when she saw him, surprising him as he caught her with an oomph.  

But once Remus realized what was happening, he couldn't help but laugh joyously, lifting her into the air and spinning her around before releasing her on the ground. "It's good to see you, too, Lyra. But warn me next time you're about to assault me."

He looked down at her face after a few moments, finding her not looking very happy. After she had jumped him, he thought she'd at least smile. But she just stood there, watching, a hint of sadness on her face. "Are you alright?"

"I'm good," she quite obviously lied, putting on fake smile that he quickly saw through. She hit him playfully on the arm in attempt to sell her faux happiness. "And you can handle me jumping you with your brute wolfy strength."

"Oh, hush, you," he smiled brightly, pushing her hand away. 

"I know we'd be horrible prefects for doing this, but could we just not patrol tonight?" the blonde girl suggested, trying to give a quickly smile. "I don't know, I just really want to keep trying to cast the Patronus charm tonight."

She hoped the suggestion wasn't going to arouse any suspicions from him. But she needed it, so badly. She needed to try to prove to herself that even though she had aided some dark witches and wizards, she wasn't one. She couldn't be one. She didn't want to have ruined herself so quickly.

Then she looked at him. That sweet, friendly sandy-haired boy that she couldn't see wanting to hurt anyone. She couldn't help but think about how much the Death Eaters would hate him. He wasn't only a half-blood, the son of a wizard and a muggle, but he was a werewolf, too. They would kill him if given the chance. She would never let that happen. Never.

Remus didn't see anything strange with this, however. They had been working on it a lot in the fast few months. "Yeah, of course. You know all the theory so it should be coming soon. And honestly, I've been itching to see your patronus."

Lyra tried to keep from sighing in relief, as he hadn't gotten suspicious yet and she didn't need to give him a reason to be. "I've been itching to see yours, too. You never told me what your corporeal patronus is."

"It's a wolf, actually," he answered shortly. Now, he was the one who didn't look alright. He hesitated before talking again, not wanting to be rude. "I just... don't really want to show it off to anyone for obvious reasons."

This deflated Lyra's mood, which had started to improve. Once again, she had done or said the wrong thing and somebody seemed to be hurt or uncomfortable by it. "Right. I'm sorry for asking."

Remus noticed that her smile seemed to fade at his reaction, so he reached out and put it his hand on her shoulder, not wanting her to think it was his fault. If anyone, it was Fenrir Greyback's fault. "It's fine. Don't worry about it. You didn't know."

Lyra tried to send him another smile, to say she was unbothered but she knew it didn't come out quite sincere. But she still reached out to pull out her wand, wanting so badly for this to be the night she could cast a patronus. 

The blonde girl tried to force forth every good and happy memory she could think of. The same ones as always. Trying on dresses with her sisters, family dinners with her parents, reuniting with Uncle Alphard after all those years. 

"Expecto Patronum!"

Nothing happened. 

Frustrated, she took another deep breath. She kept trying, again and again, forcing through different memories and experiences that she thought were the happiest of her life, that defined her as a person. 

"Expecto Patronum!" Nothing. "Expecto Patronum! Expecto Patronum! Expecto Patronum! Expecto Patronum!"

Her voice got louder for every syllable she spoke, until her voice was barley audible as it became more of a scream than the casting of a spell. Her eyes were closed, so she didn't realize tears were building up in them until Remus grabbed her and stopped. 

"Hey, hey, Lyra. Calm down. What's going on?" He held onto her arm gently. He wanted nothing more than to shield her from the world as a tear fell from the corner of her eye. He wanted to keep all heartache away and curse those who dared bring it to her. 

She shook her head, pulling her arm away from his grip. She crossed them over her chest, as if she was feeling self-conscious about something, which she was. He just didn't know what she was self-conscious about. "It's nothing."

Remus rolled his eyes, tilting his head before giving her a stern look. He reminded her of Professor McGonagall for a moment. "Do you think I'm stupid? I know it's not nothing. I'm your friend, Lyra, you can tell me anything. We've been over this a million times."

"Remus..."

His gaze didn't stray from her, even when she turned her head away. "Lyra."

When he looked at her with such sweet love in her eyes, something within her broke down. "I'm so scared. I don't want to be a dark witch. I don't want to be like all of them, and who they want me to be. I don't want to hurt people like you."

He frowned, not really understanding why this was coming up now. He had his suspicions that something had happened during the break, but he hadn't wanted to ask, not wanting to make her uncomfortable. "Then don't. You make your own choices, you are only the person you want to be."

"It's not that simple. You don't know what I've done." Sturgis Podmore's face flashed before her eyes. The tears, the blood. She could still hear the screams, those piercing screams that wouldn't leave her nightmares. 

He nodded briefly. "Alright, I don't and you don't have to tell me. But I know that if you were a dark witch, you wouldn't be this worried about being dark. But you're standing here and trying your best to be good."

Lyra didn't understand how he still had so much faith in her, when she had hurt him so much at one point. And now she had hurt someone else, too. "But... what if I'm not trying hard enough?"

"What if you're trying too hard?" he retorted. "You are good, deep down. And I know that if you stop trying to force it because you want to prove something, find happiness within you and I know there'll be a beautiful Patronus meeting us soon."

Though tears still built up in her eyes, they were no longer due to the fear, sadness or guilt that had haunted her. No, Remus brought out that happiness in her, even when it's supposed to be impossible to find. "You really think so?"

"I know so."

"You're my best friend, you know that?" Lyra asked, reached up to her eyes to wipe her tears. She suspected she looked quite silly, getting so emotional over her friend just telling her that he thought she was a good person.

The Gryffindor shrugged, smiling slightly at her in return. He didn't mind the crying. It wasn't the first time she had cried in front of him, and he had done so in front of her. They didn't judge. That was sort of their thing now. "I'd hope so. You're mine, too."

And Lyra smiled. A genuine one, for what felt like the first time in ages. She looked deep into his eyes, forgetting all thoughts of darkness and Death Eaters, to all that bothered her. She raised her wand. 

Lyra thought back to the start of fifth year. She was a newly minted prefect, ready to take on the world. And she got to know Remus Lupin that day, she found out they weren't so different after all. 

Lyra thought about Sirius. When they had been small, running around in the gardens of either Black Manor or Twelve Grimmauld Place, playing hide and seek. That time he had made her try her first cigarette, even if it was disgusting. It was a good moment. 

Lyra thought about sitting in front of the Slytherin fireplace with her friends from her own house, where everything seemed so much simpler.

Lyra even thought about Professor McGonagall. That time a few years ago when she had been the first one in their class to perfect her Vanishing spell (almost on her first try). That proud look on her face was one she'd cherish forever. 

Then that stupid Celestina Warbeck song rang through her head. You Charmed the Heart Right Out of Me. She thought about the Valentine's Card she had gotten last year, she thought about dancing at Slughorn's Christmas Party. Lyra thought about James Potter. 

"Expecto Patronum!"

There was a warmth that ran through her body, one she hadn't felt while trying to cast the charm. She couldn't help the surge of hope that ran through her, thinking that this might have been the attempt that did it. 

So she opened her eyes. Flying through the air, was a white-colored apparation that Lyra knew had to be her Patronus. It took a few seconds before she could concentrate on seeing what it was. A Hippogriff. 

"You did it!" Remus exclaimed, smiling almost as brightly as she did. He was a very proud teacher. His gaze followed the beauty of the Patronus, thinking it fit her quite well, showing the beauty she had on the inside. 

But he was confused when she started sniffing, crying even harder than he had before. He looked at her strangely, wondering if she was going crazy. "Uhm... What just happened? Are you alright?"

"I just..." she hesitated, trying to catch her breath as she fought sobs. "I just didn't think I'd be able to do it. Perhaps it's proved that I may not be as bad as I thought I was doomed to be."

He smiled softly, not acting even remotely weird about her tears anymore. Even if he still didn't quite understand why she was crying now. Things were going well, but he supposed he just didn't understand girls as well as he thought he did. "I knew that from the start." 

His words were so unbelievably perfect that she once again ran into his arms, wrapping her arms around his waist as she clutched onto him. She buried her face in his chest as she felt him returning the embrace. "I love you, Remus."

The young werewolf sighed deeply, placing his chin on top of her head. He hadn't ever mentioned it to her, but she was the perfect height for him to hug. Perfect best friend material. "I love you, too, Lyra."

"What's going on?" a voice asked, breaking their moment up. They both turned to quickly see James standing there, a frown on his face. All he had seen was their embrace and the way they said they loved each other. He couldn't help but be curious. 

Lyra hurried to wipe at her eyes. She didn't want James to worry, especially as she felt she had already gotten her emotions out with Remus, and now with her Patronus. There was barely anything to worry about. She had found new faith in herself, faith she thought she had lost.

She smiled at him, still happy to see him even though he had sort of walked in on a moment. She quietly approached him, kissing his cheek briefly. "It's nothing. Now get back to bed before I have to give you detention."

James groaned, already annoyed by her not wanting to say what was bothering her. He had plans, he had pranks to do and now he had to go back to bed because of her demands. "But, Lyra-"

"She's right, Prongs," Remus agreed, and got a pouty look from his friend. He rolled his eyes. "Come on. Get back to bed. You can do a prank every other day of the week. Not when we're patrolling."

"Alright then," James agreed reluctantly before pursing his lips, finding the whole situation odd. He didn't like them ganging up against them, even if he very much liked each of them individually. 

He glanced between them, but reached down to kiss Lyra's head for a quick second. She leaned into the affectionate gesture, smiling softly before he walked away, going back to Gryffindor Tower to leave them to their patrol.