Lyra didn't want her sixth year to end. If she was being honest, it had been the best year in her life so far. She couldn't imagine there being a better one later, either. So much had changed, and most of it for the better. 

Lyra had fallen in love, she had made sure there was no longer any secrets between herself and the Marauders. She had fallen out with Rabastan, even if he hadn't seemed to realize this, and she found herself further from her family than she had ever been.

But all good things must come to an end. It hadn't quite hit her before she was walking around with Remus on her last patrol of the year. Next year, she wasn't even sure if she would be a prefect. 

Slughorn had let it slip that her name was on the shortlist for Head Girl, with only a few others in consideration. She had a feeling it was mostly just a race between herself and Lily Evans from Gryffindor. Who the Head Boy could be, though, she had no idea. It could have been Remus, but he didn't really have much talent for leadership, always a bit too insecure to lead. 

She wouldn't have minded being Head Girl if Remus was her Head Boy though. They worked quite well together, and they had for the last two years. If neither of them were chosen, she just hoped Lily would still put them on patrol together. 

If not, she would have to appreciate all the time she had left with him. She glanced at him, where he was walking by her side as they continued their conversation. "I'm just not really very excited to go home this year. For obvious reasons, I guess."

The last time she had gone home, it ended with the interrogation and eventually torture of Sturgis Podmore, and she wasn't very keen to repeat that. It had been two months and she could still picture it perfectly. 

"I understand," said Remus, nodding while offering her a supportive smile. He'd heard Sirius talk about the Black family in great detail. He wasn't very excited for her to go back either. "You're always at my house if your family's... too much for you."

"It probably won't come to that," the Slytherin girl said, but not seeming entirely convinced. Part of her wasn't sure if she would be able to survive a whole summer at Black Manor. "But thanks for the offer. It's good to have."

"Look, don't murder me for suggesting this," he started, seeing her skeptical look. "As much as I like talking to you, have you thought about maybe talking to James about this? He doesn't say it, but I know he's a bit jealous of our friendship. He's your boyfriend, after all."

Lyra still wasn't used to calling James her boyfriend, but she didn't mind the reminder, even if she wasn't sure what she thought about his suggestion. "I know that, I do. I've just gotten so used to talking to you about... everything, I suppose."

"And I do appreciate that, Lyra. I feel like I can talk to you about everything, too," he smiled softly, scratching at a faded scar on his forehead. "But I do love James. He's my friend. I don't want him to feel left out. I'm not trying to steal his girlfriend here."

"I'm sorry to say you couldn't if you tried. I love you, Remus, but not in that way. My heart belongs to him. I should probably show him that more often." Lyra pulled his hand away from his face to keep him from scratching before kissing his cheek in a friendly manner. "Thanks, mate." 

Remus blushed a bit. There weren't many girls who had kissed his cheek. A few had tried, but he always kept away. He didn't feel like he was the right guy to have a girlfriend. But Lyra was his friend, through and through. He could make an exception. 

▹▹▹

Their last full day of Hogwarts and James and Lyra had decided that they wanted to spend as much of it with each other as possible. They would most likely be separated for the whole summer, and they wanted to savor one another for as long as possible. 

They had managed to convince Remus and Peter to force Sirius out of the boys' dorm for the day by making the promise that they wouldn't shag. What they didn't know wouldn't hurt them, the couple thought. 

But after said shagging, they still had plenty of time on their hands. They sat together, now fully dressed, on James's bed. She leaned her head on his shoulder, watching as her blonde waves cascaded down his chest.

She had taken Remus's words to heart and decided to tell James she wasn't really excited to go home. "It's just... my sister, Bellatrix is definitely going to be there when I get back. She's been very clear that she wants me to become a Death Eater. She doesn't see that I don't want that life."

James turned his head to be able to see the expression on her face, pursing his life. "I know. You told me once. Well, you told Sirius and I was there. Remember when you snogged Davey Gudgeon last year?"

"Ugh, don't remind me," Lyra groaned. She only wanted to think about the second person she had snogged now, the one she was sitting with now. "It's not that I don't love Bellatrix, I really do. She's still my sister.  But I have seen what that life has done to her. She's nothing like who she used to be. The sister I loved and grew up with."

"You shouldn't have to go back there," James shook his head, which she felt as his chin was by her head. He gritted his teeth at what she was saying. "Stay with me and Sirius. My parents do want to meet you."

"And I'd love to meet them too, don't get me wrong," the blonde girl said, turning her head to smile slightly at him. "But I do still love my family dearly. They just... go too far sometimes and I don't want to do that. The thing is... it could be too late."

He furrowed his brows, concerned. "What do you mean, love?"

"I didn't tell you this... I haven't told anyone this, actually..." Lyra took a deep breath, already knowing she would regret this. "This Easter, when I went home, Rabastan and Regulus came to my house."

He was silent as she kept going, knowing he wasn't going to like what was coming. "They'd gotten a mission. From the Dark Lord. Or, You-Know-Who or whatever you'd like to call him. But they didn't know how to do it alone."

She looked down, refusing to meet his eye. "They asked for my help. I tried to say no at first, but Regulus really needed me. He's my little cousin, you know. I couldn't let him get tortured or killed just because he couldn't complete a menial task."

"Turns out it wasn't so menial," she chuckled without humor. "We kidnapped a man, and interrogated him for information. I wanted to do it quickly and nicely. But that's not what Rabastan wanted. He tortured him. With the Cruciatus curse."

She was terrified of his reaction as she felt him stiffen. "I stopped him, of course. Disarmed him. But I... I went through his mind, using Legilimency. I found information, and I let Rabastan tell the Dark Lord. Now he has sensitive information about Dumbledore's resistance plans. I betrayed him and I regret it every day. I don't want to work for the Death Eaters or help them at all."

James sighed as she stopped speaking, not sure how to feel about this. "It's alright. You did because you love Regulus. There's nothing I wouldn't do for Moony, Padfoot or Wormtail. I get it. It doesn't make you bad. Just makes Lestrange a git."

She released a shaky breath, not having expected this. James, who was so genuinely good and had such strong beliefs of what was right or wrong, could accept the worst thing she had ever done. "So you don't hate me?"

"I could never hate you." He quietly kissed the top of her head and she snuggled into his chest to be closer to him. "You didn't want to do this. You did it because you have a sense of duty and loyalty. I can respect that. And I love you."

Lyra smiled up at her boyfriend. She would have reached up to kiss him if she hadn't been so comfortable in her position. She felt him stroking her arm softly, and she felt tingles going through her body. "I love you, too. I really love you, James."

He smiled at those words. "Good. You're not a bad person, Lyra. I can't see you doing anything evil just for being evil. If your family does thing like that, then it's not your fault. They're the ones who did this."

"But I haven't stopped it. Well, I did stop Rabastan from torturing him, and potentially killing him," she reminded herself. "I just want to go back to being blissfully ignorant about all of this and thinking the best of them."

"No, it's good that you're not ignorant. If you were, then you wouldn't have an opportunity to make a change in both your own and their lives," he said, uncharacteristically wise. "If you don't want to escape your family, then try to make a change instead. My door's always open, though."

"Thank you," she whispered softly. She didn't care that she was in a comfortable position anymore, because she just wanted to kiss him. So she did, leaning into the kiss as tried to remember the feeling of his lips, knowing she'd have to try to remember it for probably months to come.

"Any time," he responded, his lips still brushing against hers as he spoke. He leaned his forehead against hers, smiling widely. He kept waiting to wake up and realize that their whole relationship was a sweet dream, but he never did. He hoped dearly it was real.  

Lyra sniffled. The very way he believed in her and loved her brought tears to her eyes. She hadn't believed love could be like this before, but James had proved her wrong and taught her just how strong it could be. "I love you. Very much."

"I'll never get tired of hearing you say that," he breathed. He closed his eyes, breathing in the strawberry shampoo that he could still smell from her shower hours ago, remembering smelling in the Amortentia Potion. "I love you, too. Very much."

James didn't see as a tear fell from Lyra's eye, breathing in the smell of broomstick polish from him and the way she could feel his glasses on the bridge of her nose because of their proximity. The things that made him James. 

▹▹▹

James and Lyra could have lived with staying in each other's arms for the rest of the day. They had even tried to argue with the other three Marauders that it would be alright and wouldn't arouse any suspicions. They were eventually outvoted. 

Lyra realized why when they entered the Great Hall for the End-of-the-year Feast. Everywhere, she saw great red banners, showing of lion emblems along with the grins on all the Gryffindors' faces. 

If James, who had helped them win by leading the Quidditch team to victory hadn't shown up to gloat and rub their winning in every Slytherin's face. Well, not every Slytherin. Lyra was the exception.  

Not that most Slytherins needed the victory to be rubbed in their faces anyway. They all sat and sulked, glaring towards the house of the lions. Only Lyra flashed a clandestine smile towards her four proud boys. 

Lyra hadn't thought to look away from them until the person next to her spoke up. Rabastan looked at her seriously, with pursed lips as he spoke. "I need to tell you something. I'm not coming back to Hogwarts next year."

"What do you mean you're not coming back to school?" Lyra suddenly asked, her head turning towards him sharply. While she hadn't forgiven him for what he had done and had been quite sharp with him during the past few months, she didn't think it was enough for him to want to drop out of school. 

"I got a letter from Rodolphus this morning," he elaborated, nervously running his hands through his light-brown hair. "It was a message from the Dark Lord. I was offered a position of power because of the success of our mission during Easter break."

"What does that have to do with not going back to school? You can surely be a Death Eater and finish your last year. It's just one year, Rabastan," she said, surprised she was actually trying to keep him around. She had expected to be allowed to be angry with him for longer. 

"I've got a few very important missions coming up soon. During summer already, after I get the Dark Mark. These are long missions, the kind that I can't do if I'm stuck at school under Dumbledore's watchful eye," the Lestrange boy responded, glancing at their headmaster.

"You can't just drop out of Hogwarts. Your education is important. You're a prefect for Merlin's sake," said Lyra, although she knew it was a stupid argument that she wouldn't win with. She just needed anything to convince him, because she couldn't support this decision. 

"None of that matters. School and being prefect," he scoffed, shaking his head at her naivety. "It's not important if things don't change, Lyra. I need to make the changes I can, to rid the world of monsters and those who wish to harm us and steal our magic away. Muggles, mudbloods and all those affiliated with them."

"You can't," the blonde breathed, out of arguments. If Rabastan got this opportunity through what they had done during Easter Break, which everybody knew she was involved in, she didn't know what that would mean for her or Regulus.

For once, he seemed to be able to understand what she was thinking. "Regulus is too young to do the same. He isn't even of age. And you're not expected to do it, either. You haven't even met the Dark Lord yet."

"I don't think I'll ever meet him," she whispered softly. The only reason he could hear what she said was because of the deafening silence at the Slytherin table as they all pouted over losing the House Cup.

"Don't be so sure about that," said Rabastan with an uplifting smile. He was obviously trying to be supportive, but he didn't know he was being quite the opposite. "Bellatrix has supposedly kept gaining rank and is basically in the Dark Lord's inner circle by now."

Lyra looked down, knowing he could be right. But she looked up and thought back to what James had said earlier that day. That she needed to try and change things, that's the only way to use the knowledge she had acquired. 

She also thought back to the words Remus had said that night when she had finally managed to cast a corporeal Patronus charm. You make your own choices, you are only the person you want to be along with I know that if you were a dark witch, you wouldn't be this worried about being dark. But you're standing here and trying your best to be good.

But Lyra knew there was no way she could fight Rabastan now as he had gotten in so deep, she could only try and fight for herself and try to help Regulus for now. Maybe one day. "Will you take care of yourself then? Don't die, I mean."

"I won't," he smiled. He reached out grabbed her hand, holding it tightly.  "We have a bit more time. And maybe we'll see each other at the start of summer. But, if we don't... I'm really going to miss you, Lyra."

"I'll miss you, too, Rabastan." The strangest part was that she wasn't even lying. She was so sure that she was going to be angry with him forever. And honestly, she was still angry with him and didn't know when she would ever stop. 

But there was something with the knowledge that Lyra maybe wouldn't see Rabastan, who had been one of her closest friends for a year and half, for over a year that forced her to come to terms with the fact that she still cared. Maybe she would never stop. 

It was a frightening thought, that no matter what someone did or how angry she could be at them, some part of her would never stop caring or having a bit of loyalty towards them. Or, perhaps they just hadn't met their breaking point yet. 

Lyra had no interest in knowing how hard someone had to hurt her or what someone would have to do for her to cut them out entirely and lose all shreds of love and hope for them. If that day ever came, she would curse it and hope it would never come again with another person.