It had been hours and Lyra could still hear the screams. They echoed throughout her bedroom, like she was still torturing Robert Dowson. But she just sat on her bed, staring blankly into space.

She wanted to cry, she really did. She wanted nothing more. But it wouldn't come. She wasn't even sure if she felt sad, or in any sort of emotional pain. Lyra felt numb, because she wasn't sure if she could accept what she had done.

She had already felt like a horrible person just for going through a man's mind to gather information for the Death Eaters, in hope of saving her friend and cousin. Now she had tortured her old Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor and led him to his death, all because she wasn't strong enough to stand up to the Dark Lord.

She knew it was a silly thought. Only the bravest Gryffindors, the ones modeled after Dumbledore himself, would be able to stand up to the darkest wizard since Grindlewald. Lyra was a Slytherin, even though she surrounded herself by Gryffindors. It wasn't who she was, nor was it who most people were. That didn't mean she felt any less guilty, though.

The young girl sat in silence for at least an hour, undisturbed. The moment someone walked into her room, she noticed within the second. She just wanted to be left alone, so she spoke softly. "Leave."

Rabastan frowned, never having seen her as she was now. There had always been a flicker of emotion on her face, whether it was real or fake. Now it was blank, concerning him. "You looked upset downstairs. It was hard for me to use the curse the first time, too."

"It's obviously gotten easier for you," Lyra spat. He didn't like the anger, or the reminder of his careless use of the curse during their mission during Easter break, but he appreciated her showing emotion again.

"The Dark Lord won't contact you until after Hogwarts. I made sure of it," he said, looking at her sincerely. For the first time, he seemed to realize that this wasn't the best path for her, not one she could handle. "But just in case, perhaps you should spend the rest of the summer at Lucinda's."

"Perhaps you're right," she responded, still refusing to look his way. She didn't know if she could spend another second in her house, which she had once loved and felt at home in. Now it was a cruel reminder of what she had done.

Rabastan sighed as he looked at her, realizing there wasn't much left to say. Not something she would want to hear, at least. He accepted this, and nodded his head slightly before taking a step, ready to walk out and leave.

But Lyra was suddenly reminded of the fact that Rabastan wasn't going to Hogwarts next year, that she wouldn't see him in the common room, or sit with him in Defense or Potions. She wouldn't see him in general. "Is this going to be the last time I see you? In a while, at least."

"It's likely," he answered shortly.

Lyra nodded for a moment, looking down at her feet. For a moment, she felt guilty for even being able to think about Rabastan with all she had done, which was all she should be able to think about. "Take care of yourself, will you?"

He offered her a small smile, though a bit awkward. He wasn't sure how they felt about each other at the moment, or what would be an acceptable course of action when it came to their goodbye. "I will."

The blonde wasn't sure why, but she felt herself standing up from her seat on the foot of her bed. She finally pulled her chin up, allowing her gaze to meet his. She was sure he noticed her lip quivering, though she wasn't sure if it was because of him or because of what had transpired earlier.

It was because of this that he suddenly rushed towards her, wrapping his arms around her. Lyra was unsure how she felt, but she still opened her arms for him, allowing him to hug her tightly. Against her better judgment, she hugged back.

Because this was still Rabastan, even if he had done horrible things. The boy who had spoken to her on Christmas during their fifth year, the first one who dared to speak of Andromeda in front of her, the one she had a school girl crush on that same year, the one who had protected her and tried to be there for her.

Lyra could only pray he wasn't completely lost behind his Death Eater facade.

▹▹▹

Lucinda had answered Lyra's letter quickly. She had never been so thankful to have such a good Slytherin girlfriend, one who would dare to lie to the House of Black if Lyra's parents were to ask where she was for the rest of the summer, although she did want an explanation.

While the seventeen-year-old had promised her answers, she knew she wouldn't give them. All she could do was use the rest of summer to come up with an appropriate lie, or hope she would forget about what she had asked for her.

Lyra could have gone to Lucinda's house, as she had told both her family and Rabastan. But she didn't need Lucinda now. She needed support and to be surrounded by those who had never let her believe she was a bad person.

There were two options for her to choose from. Two of the most important young men in her life who had offered their homes to her in case she didn't want to stay in Black Manor. She contemplated this for a few minutes, but she knew there was only one real choice, so she chose quickly.

After that, the Slytherin girl hadn't taken long to pack up some necessary things and hurriedly say goodbye to her parents, saying she didn't have much time until she had promised Lucinda she'd go on a shopping spree with her to celebrate the summer holidays.

Lyra was just happy she could apparate, so her parents wouldn't have to take her to where she was going or she'd have to say the destination because she was using Floo Powder. No, she was free to lie without consequence, as long as Lucinda kept her promise.

She found herself standing outside of a Manor, although not as large and cold as the one she had come from. This one actually looked like a home, even from the outside. She hesitated for a few seconds, but knew there was no turning back no. So she knocked on the door.

It didn't take long for somebody to answer, but it wasn't somebody she had expected. An elderly woman, though still quite pretty for her age, opened, looking at the young girl suspiciously. "Hello, can I help you?"

"I'm sorry to disturb you, ma'am," Lyra quickly apologized, feeling self-conscious as she pushed a strand of blonde hair behind her ear to occupy her hand. "I was just wondering if Sirius and James are in?"

"You must be Lyra!" the woman suddenly exclaimed, a wide grin overtaking her once suspicious features. She quickly held her hand out in a handshake, which she accepted. "It's such a pleasure to finally meet you, my dear. My name is Euphemia Potter."

Pleasantly, she continued speaking, not letting Lyra say a word. "The boys, along with my husband, Fleamont, will be back shortly. They just decided to take a few hours down at Diagon Alley to look at the new racing brooms that have come out. Boys will be boys."

Lyra tried her best not to show her disappointment on her face, not wanting to seem impolite in front of her boyfriend's mother, especially as this was the first time they had ever met. "Oh, alright. I can come back later if you want."

"Nonsense! Come on, Lyra," Euphemia ushered her inside. Lyra could already see where James had gotten his warmth, light and happiness from. "You know, we weren't expecting to meet you this summer. Or ever, almost. We were starting to wonder if James and Sirius had made you up."

The seventeen-year-old chuckled before offering her explanation. "No, I just missed the boys dearly, already. I really wanted to see them. And it's become quite... stuffy back home. I just needed to clear my mind for a bit."

Euphemia's eyes quickly darkened at her words, her shoulders now stiff and her lips turned down in a frown, as if she had heard similar words have a different meaning before. She had taken in Sirius, after all. "That's alright, sweetheart. You can stay here for as long as you want."

Lyra could see that her boyfriend's mother knew that there was something else behind her words, and that something had happened. But she didn't ask, she didn't pry. She appreciated that, truly. "Thank you."

As if she could understand what she was thinking, Euphemia offered her a small smile, one of comfort and warmth. The kind of smile Lyra imagined most mothers had, the kind she rarely saw on her own. "Would you like some tea?"

Lyra smiled, already falling in love with life at the Potter Manor. It wasn't strange considering she had already fallen in love with the boy raised in between these walls. There was bound to be something lovable. "I'd love some."

▹▹▹

Lyra didn't think that the first person able to get her mind off the horrific events that had transpired in her home would be an elderly woman, her boyfriend's mother, someone she hadn't met before that very day.

Yet, drinking tea with her and watching as they looked through photographs of James's childhood, like the day he got his first toy broom and refused to get off it for forty-eight hours, so he fell asleep with it between his legs. It was so utterly James and Lyra couldn't believe she loved such a dork.

"You know, it's so nice to finally have a girl in the house," said Euphemia, taking a sip of her tea as Lyra finished looking at yet another photograph. "I never had a daughter, always wanted another child, but seemed James was our only miracle. Though I do love him dearly. He can be annoying, but still."

Lyra giggled at the older woman's words. She hadn't ever met a mother who was so fun and carefree, casually talking about how much she loved her child. It was quite foreign, but it was good. "I completely agree."

Their conversation was cut short at the sound of the door opening and three different male-sounding laughs echoing through the bright halls of Potter Manor. Lyra recognized two of them immediately. She could faintly hear a bad joke about an elf and a goblin walking into a bar.

But the moment they reached the parlor, where Lyra and Euphemia were seated, the laughter ceased. Both Sirius and James froze at the sight of her sitting their casually, a hesitant smile on her face. The older man they were with, Fleamont Potter, only looked confused.

"Lyra?" Sirius breathed, frowning at the sight of her. It didn't take long before he had rushed towards her and picked her up from her seat, pulling her into his arms. Because he knew she wouldn't be there for no reason. He, of all people, knew something must have happened. He had once been in her place, after all.

Once she had been released, James realized it was his turn to do something, to greet her. The whole room knew she was his girlfriend, but he still knew it would be very awkward to grab her and snog her in front of his parents and best friend/her cousin.

He took a few casual steps towards her and hesitantly wrapped his arms around her, much more awkwardly than anything he had ever done. But he didn't care, he had her in his arms again. "Hi."

"Hi," she whispered back, also not caring about how awkward the start of their hug had been. All that mattered was that she had James's arms around her, the greatest comfort of all. The comfort she had craved ever since the previous night.

"Well, I suppose I better introduce myself then. You must be Lyra, James's girlfriend. Though he never mentioned you were so pretty," his father smiled charmingly at her. "I'm Fleamont Potter, this little rascal's father."

Lyra had heard of him, of course. Not only had James's ancestors invented quite a few famous potions, but Fleamont had invented a hair potion that was always sold out, because it was considered the best on the market. "It's nice to meet you."

James quietly reached down, holding onto her hand. When she looked at him, he only sent her a reassuring look. She supposed he knew there was something more behind her coming there, too. She should have known, he was Sirius's best friend.

▹▹▹

The Potter Manor would feel like home to anybody who stepped foot into it. Especially when you were one of the inhabitants' girlfriend. The Potters had set up a spare room for her and asked what her favorite meal was, because they wanted to cook it for dinner. Lyra adored them.

Still, the moment Lyra found a moment to herself, out in the darkness, she found her mind clouded by dark thoughts. She tried to distract herself with another sad reminder as she gazed upon the full moon, wondering just how lonely Remus was.

But they weren't enough to get her mind off the reason she had lied and gone to the Potters. She wasn't sure if she was ever going to forget every detail of what had happened or if it would haunt her for as long as she would live.

Thankfully, she wasn't left alone for long. James suddenly walked into the gardens, glad they had gotten a moment to themselves, as they hadn't had that luxury before then. "How are you doing?"

Lyra didn't want to answer his question, so she only faked a smile as he came to her side, concerned. "Your parents are wonderful. If I could live every day like this then it would be a dream come true."

"You can," he grinned, the same troublemaker grin that Lyra loved more than life itself.

The blonde girl chuckled, raising a teasing eyebrow at him, in hope of lightening the mood for both him and herself. "Are you asking me to marry you?"

"Not yet," he shrugged, quite seriously for such a joker. But when he turned to her again, ready to speak, she was sure that she couldn't get out of telling him for long. "What's the real reason you're here, Lyra?"

She didn't want to tell him, she wasn't sure if she could. But then she looked into his sincere eyes, glistening in concern in the moonlight, and she couldn't keep tears from building up in her eyes.

Her voice was shaky, as if it hurt to speak. "I can still hear the screams. They won't stop. And the blood... there was so much blood and it looked like it came out of nowhere. And it's all my fault, I did it. I was the one who caused it. I'm such a horrible person for causing it!"

The Gryffindor boy frowned, alarmed. He wasn't completely sure what she was talking about yet, but he knew it was reason to be concerned. He had never seen her like this, not even when she told him the mission she had carried out for Voldemort. "What are you talking about? What happened?"

Once the first tear fell, they wouldn't stop coming. "I kept telling him that I couldn't do it. I've never performed that curse before. I had seen it happen. I didn't want to do it. I've never wanted to do it. But they were all there and he threatened them and he threatened me and I couldn't stop myself. And then the screams and the blood..."

James took a few seconds to understand what she was saying, and when he did he was horrified. He couldn't believe anybody could do this to her, to make her do this to another person. "You didn't have a choice, Lyra. There was nothing else you could do. That doesn't make you a bad person."

"You don't know that," the Black girl cried, sobbing. She lifted her arm to dry her tears with her sleeve, but they kept being replaced by new ones. "You weren't there. You didn't see what happened."

"You're not a bad person," he insisted, looking determined to prove it. "I want you to get your wand out. Now. Moony mentioned that your Patronus has become corporeal. Could a dark witch and a horrible person do that?"

"It was corporeal. I could cast it," Lyra retorted, placing emphasis on the words being in past tense. "There's no way I can do it anymore. Not after using one of the darkest curses imaginable. I don't deserve to do it."

"Don't say that. Don't ever say that," the bespectacled boy scolded her, although it sounded like it pained him to hear her say such horrible things about herself, because he could only see the good. "Just give it a try."

She didn't feel like there was much use, but she didn't want to let him down. Especially when he looked at her the way he did, with so much love and belief in her. She couldn't believe that, knowing what he now knew, he still hadn't shunned her. She supposed that was what love was all about.

James walked up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist, leaning his chin on her shoulder as she hesitantly raised her wand, trying to think of happy memories strong enough to bring forth her Patronus.

The last time she had performed the spell, she had thought about a number of different people. But now, with James's arms around her and his breath on her neck, her head was clouded by only him. "Expecto Patronum."

It had to be a mistake, Lyra thought. Firstly, because she had been sure that she wouldn't be able to perform it anymore, but sure enough, a white form appeared. Secondly, because she could have sworn her Patronus was a Hippogriff.

Instead, she watched as a doe ran around the gardens of Potter Manor, floating on clear air. She stared at it, sniffling because of those two things, her eyes shining with tears that weren't only because of sadness and guilt anymore.

It didn't take long for James to raise his own wand from his spot beside her. Lyra couldn't see his face, but she was sure he was grinning like a mad man at seeing her Patronus for the first time. "Expecto Patronum!"

And like its master, Lyra's Patronus was no longer alone. A white stag flew out of James's wand, quickly running towards the doe, both of them looking quite pleased to see each other. It was quite clear as they came close to each other, nuzzling into each other's necks.

James pulled away from his embrace with his girlfriend, sitting down on the grass below them. He patted the spot next to him, and she hesitantly sat down next to him, though still slightly worried about grass stains.

James smiled as she placed herself close to him. He reached out and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her into his chest. "You see? You're obviously still a good person. A good person that I am completely and madly in love with."

"I love you so much," Lyra whispered, watching the Patronuses still rushing through the air together, not yet fading. She supposed that made sense, as her head was still clouded with her boyfriend.

James looked down at her, smiling softly as a tear fell from the corner of her eye. He carefully wiped it away with his thumb, leaning down to rest his forehead against hers. "And I love you even more."

Lyra smiled back, her every thought of sadness seeming to fade just by hearing him say those words. It was something special about hearing him say them that made sure she would never get tired of hearing it.

She leaned in to kiss him softly, as a sign of both immense gratitude and love before leaning back into his chest. For what seemed like hours, they watched as their Patronuses, who had never been so clear and strong, continued to love each other as much as James and Lyra did.

▹▹▹

A/N: Someone to Stay by Vancouver Sleep Clinic is a very good song for this chapter, by the way. Especially during the last scene! Hope you enjoy! I'm sure most of you enjoy the fact that Rabastan's going away for a while, which isn't a trick or anything. We won't see him for a while.