Suffocation. That's the only way she could describe the feeling she was having. Jade felt like she was being held under water, couldn't breathe or think on her own. Laying in bed, she twisted around in the sheets, trying to wake herself up. She couldn't. It was as if someone was keeping her under.

There is a great deal of hatred in you. It is stronger than the light. Don't fight it.

Snoke's voice echoed in her head. Haunting her. Although, this time, his voice felt closer than ever before. Almost breathing down her neck as she writhed in her new bed.

Feed into the dark side. Do what must be done.

Kill him.

Breaking free from his hold, her eyes snapped open. She let out a yelp as she quickly sat up, petrified of her surroundings. Everything was dark, no light shining through the windows. Floating through space was something she had to get used to.

She rubbed her face, trying to grip onto her reality and rid herself of that evil voice in her head. Kill him. She only could think about Hux. Her anger towards him. What he had done to her on that same ship she was just on. How she wanted to slit his throat. To watch him bleed out in front of her. Feed into the dark side. Make him beg for his life. Show him who the real threat is. Who is stronger-

Coming to a realization of what she was thinking, her eyes widened as she shook off the feelings. Her mind had gone on without her, almost like she wasn't controlling it anymore. "I need a bath."

Her bath was comforting, exactly what she needed. Finally, the devilish voice was silenced as she was able to wash away all of the dark feelings plaguing her mind. Her thoughts were now centered around Kylo Ren. She felt guilt for how she reacted to him sending her away before the station was attacked. How she spoke to Cora about him.

Eventually, after her bath, she decided she needed to see him. She pulled a brush through her hair a few times before rushing out to get dressed. She only had the same clothes she was wearing from the day before, so she quickly pulled on her long sleeve and pants before lacing up her boots.

She was just about out the door when Cora came in, holding folded up clothes. "Jade. I brought you new clothes to wear-"

"That's fine, Cora. Thanks. Put them in the closet! I'll be back!" Pushing past her, Jade walked out into the hall, on her way to see Kylo.

Sitting up on a chair, droids worked hurriedly to fix Kylo's wounds. Suturing up his face and shoulder, the brooding man looked off into the distance. He wanted to find that scavenger. He wanted her dead.

The Resistance needs to die. This thought rolled around in his head as he sat still. Fervid anger for the scavenger, for the Resistance, for what they did to the First Order. It was all he could think about.

A tug at his chest woke him from his trance as his eyes scrunched together. He pushed the droid aside for a moment. Looking to either side of him, he tried to assess what would make him feel this way. He had only ever felt it when Jade was around, except this time it felt a little different. What was causing it?

His eyes lifted in front of him, seeing the scavenger. Sitting, casually. Not noticing him. The tug at his chest getting stronger, almost pulling him towards her. What in the galaxy...

Her eyes moved to meet his. Still in the silence between the two. Tension. Anger building. Without warning, she grabbed a blaster and shot at him. What felt like pain piercing through his abdomen, he doubled over for a moment before realizing it wasn't real. It wasn't real.

Standing up, glancing around the room, she was gone. And now, he was alone. Alone with the confusing tug still present inside him.

A soft knock was heard on the other side of the door before the doors slid open. Kylo's eyes fell onto Jade's small frame, blinking a few times to ensure she was real. "Hi," her soft voice called out before walking up to him. She placed a hand on his chest. She was real. Thank Gods.

He wrapped her into a tight squeeze, feeling her return the gesture. His face was stricken with confusion and fear. When she pulled back to look up at him, her face then turned to concern as well.

"Kylo... What is it?" Her voice was shaky. Maybe he's been hearing Snoke's voice too.

Glancing over at where he had seen Rey, he shook his head. His mouth was agape, still unsure of what just happened. "I-I saw her. Just now." He pointed to the bench on which she sat on. "Right there." His voice was low, focused. Trying to figure out what was going on.

Her eyes followed his point, brows screwed up in confusion still. "What do you mean? Who?" His hand now dropped from her side to rub his face lightly, shaking his head. Maybe telling her wasn't the best idea, he thought, taking a few steps back. The feeling in his chest, the tug he felt when he saw Rey. It didn't make sense. He didn't understand why.

"Nothing... Never mind. It must have been the medication."

There was silence for a few moments as Jade scanned his face. His false demeanor wasn't fooling her. There was something eating him up. She tilted her head, looking at him. He was distressed. He was lying. "No. Something is going on."

A low groan shook in his throat as he pushed himself back onto the chair, summoning the droid back. "Nothing is going on, I'm fine," he spat out, growling almost at her as his face turned red. Wanting desperately to forget about the scavenger, he pushed all emotions aside.

Her hands balled up at her sides, creating fists, as she stood near the door. There was a significant amount of distance between the two but as he continued to keep what happened from her, the distance grew. Sighing softly, she released her hands from their tight grips. "Well, I just came to check in on you. See if you were all righ-"

"I'm fine, I said."

Kylo's curt response lit a fire in her stomach, bile bubbling up inside of her. Her arms crossed over her chest as she hissed out a cold laugh. "What the hell is wrong with you?" Her frustration and aggression sparked Kylo's interest, his attention now solely on her. "Just yesterday you wanted me next to you, calling me your 'little dove'. But I guess you wouldn't remember that. Probably don't even feel that way towards me. Now, you won't even tell me what's wrong."

Again, standing from his spot and shooing away the medical droid, he strode over to her. Anger in his fists. "What do you mean? You know how I feel about you." His mind played her words over and over again, especially what he called her. Dove. He then remembered Snoke's words. You're weak, Ren. Weak!

"How do you feel then?" she asked, defeated. Hands now shaking at her sides. "Say it."

Kylo struggled, taking a step back. Never did he think he would feel any type of intimate emotion towards someone. It was different for him, new. "I..." His voice trailed off, not knowing what to say. He stared at the woman whose force instantly pulled him towards her from the moment they met, but then thought of Rey again. "Ahhh..." Shaking his head, taking his face in his hands, he tore his gaze away from her. He didn't want to look at her while he thought about the scavenger. The conflicting emotions controlled him.

With a scoff, she turned her head to the side. "I get it." She was about to turn around, walk out the door, when his hand reached out to grab her arm. "Let go," she huffed, trying to pull herself away from him but he wouldn't let up.

"Please. I will explain." Slowly turning back to him, Jade cautiously eyed him. "Just not now."

Another cold laugh before she ripped out of his grip, turning her back on him. "Forget it... Commander." Her venom spit out, feeling tears building up along her waterline. Before he could even reach out for her again, she was out the door.

With frustration and rage, Kylo gripped the lightsaber that hung on his belt. Igniting it, the hot flames coming off of it caused him to be pushed over the edge. His screams could be heard across the ship as he destroyed the room he was in. Slashing at the walls and floor, smashing light fixtures.

Jade's pace halted as she heard him, not looking back but gulping down her sadness as she stared forward. Shaking her head, tears falling down her cheeks, she continued to walk away from him.

Dove...

You are so strong, my dove.

As she sat at the window in her quarters, knees pulled up to her chest, her tears fell as she replayed his beautiful words. It killed her inside. He didn't feel that way, it was just the medicine talking. Her eyes gazed out the window, seeing the stars twinkle in the distance. All the lights were out in the main room of the quarters. She couldn't bring herself to going to their bedroom, the bed they were supposed to share. It hurt too much.

She didn't even know how much time had passed since she left Kylo. There was no way to tell since they were floating in darkness all the time now. With a short exhale, her eyes closed and her fingers reached up to grasp her necklace.

Warmth and comfort surrounded her as she relived memories from her past. Seeing her mother's beautiful face shining in the sunlight. Playing with her brother outside of Maz's. Seeing them playing tag with each other as their father looked on, laughing to himself. She let out a small chuckle, which was stifled by tears. She missed her family, she missed her old life.

Sobs tumbled out of her as she clung onto her legs tighter. She pressed her face into her knees, tears rolling down her legs. It wasn't fair, they shouldn't have died. And she was so stupid to have forgiven Kylo Ren. To think he would change at all. He was a monster. A murderous creature. Mostly, she felt stupid for ever feeling anything towards him. Little dove... It tore her apart.

The doors to their quarters split open, her heart dropping as she looked over to them. She could only see the silhouette of the tall, brooding man against the darkness of the room. He stood for what felt like an eternity before he finally spoke. "Jade." Kylo's voice shook.

She sniffled, rubbing her nose free from the tears. "Go away." Her face turned back out to look out the window.

His steps were cautious to walking inside. Noticing the lights were all off, but didn't attempt to turn them on. His only focus was her. Once standing over her, he kneeled down to meet her size. His gentle hand reached out and was placed on her back. He wasn't pushed away; she was too crushed to even notice.

He sighed, looking down at the floor. "It was Rey." Her head slowly moved, looking straight ahead. He could see her tear stained cheeks and his guilt felt like he was shot by an imaginary blaster once again. "I saw her, almost like she was there. I felt- I felt a pull towards her. I can't explain it." He could see her tensing a bit, the information not helping. "That's why I didn't want to tell you. I got nervous... And... I'm sorry." Through clenched teeth, he hissed out a sigh as his head hung low.

The apology hung in the air for a few moments as Jade stared into oblivion in front of her. "You felt something for her." It wasn't a question. She restated what he just said, processing it. "Like you felt something for me?" The regret for ever caring for him still there, but she couldn't help herself. The pull towards him ever present.

He now moved around to the front of her, cupping her face in his hand. "Not even close, little dove." With the mention of the pet name, his mouth twitched up into a smile. Her eyes were on him now, sadness filling them. Uncertainty filled her, wanting to give him another chance. She needed to know...

"Kylo. What is it you feel for me?"

Her question sunk into his skin, leaving it with chills. His breath was staggered. His mind went blank, searching her eyes. Feeling the silence start to fill the room, Jade chewed her bottom lip with hope in her heart. Hope that he wouldn't hurt her again, but he wasn't answering. An answer in itself. Just before she gave up on him, he finally pushed out his answer.

"I feel... Love."

A/N:
SHIT IS GETTING REAL!

I probably already know the answer but would you like smut in this story or no? Please let me know. I've never written it before, so it might be shit, but I will do my best if that's what y'all want. Leave me a comment and tell me!

ILY ALL! Thank you for reading my story and being so kind. It means the world <3