The trial.

December arrived sooner than any of us would have liked.  The Supreme Court mandated December as the month of the Winter Soldier Trial- it had a name now, and it was stirring up controversy.  I saw the news daily, watching the protests with discomfort.  I couldn't imagine what James had felt.

But, in some way this would dictate my future too.  Sharon explained to me, "When you testify, there will be people who will want to hold you accountable for your affiliation with Hydra and Crimson Night.  While they can forgive Barnes' actions because he had no control, it'll be different for you.  You actually had a choice."

I nodded.  What else could I do?  I still wondered what the government would do to former gang leader, drug addict minors, though.  

I was given a pen and paper.  When asked what to do with it, I was instructed to write.  And so I did, I wrote everything that had led me up to this moment.  Like speaking, the words spilled out naturally.  My hand cramped, but I kept writing like it was a lifeline.  I smiled remembering making daisy chains in Papa's cabin, I shed tears at my father's death.  And Lara's.  And Oliver's.  And even Matt's and Tobias'.  In the midst of my story, I made sure to include the Winter Soldier.  Yes, I do hate him with a passion, but not James Barnes.  For the sake of the trial, I had to emphasize that there was a difference between the two.

The night before the trial I watched protesters argue over the Winter Soldier's fate once more.  I bit my lip until it was sore and crimson blood slid down the side of my mouth.

Some journalists couldn't trust the man.  

"Even if Barnes did not have a choice, he still killed dozens.  And here is something to ask:  What if he snaps again?  We all think Hydra is gone, but how many people today still know how to activate the Winter Soldier?  All it takes is one word, and dozens more lose their lives."

"Our sources tell us that a girl, the second-in-command of the infamous Crimson Night, will be testifying.  Will the Supreme Court really want to believe the word of a drug dealer and an addict?  I do not care where she started- her father was Hydra, she was Hydra, and now she is Crimson Night."

The television was turned off.  James was in the doorway, with Sharon close behind.  "Elissa," started James, face a picture of empathy.  In different circumstances I may have made a sarcastic or snappish remark- just to demolish any slip of weakness- but instead I smiled crookedly.  "I don't know why I'm watching this... maybe just to get ready for tomorrow."

Sharon stepped closer and asked, "Do you think you're prepared?"

Shrugging, I replied, "I just don't know what to expect tomorrow.  I'm just hoping that James gets what he deserves, and all this drama goes away.  I don't know what they'll say to me, but as long as you guys are okay and Rose and Jasmine are okay-"

James sat next to me.  I didn't flinch.  He spoke softly, "Don't worry about what happens to me, I know you are doing everything you can."

"Thanks,"

"The government did issue an order regarding you, however." James told me and my heart sunk to my stomach.  Just as long as they're okay, I thought and drew in a breath.  I had something bigger than me to live for, and I could find a way to survive if the people I cared about were okay.  I felt calmer, and I was ready to hear the news.  

James said, "Given that you are a minor, the government thinks it would be best if you lived under S.H.I.E.L.D. for the forseeable future.  Then, freedom."

Freedom.  I heard the last word, it was what I wanted.  But, when I imagined in that moment living in the woods, it was not blissful peace.  No one was there, I felt the void leftover from lonliness.  Freedom could mean many things.  It was making daisy chains while Papa taught me history lessons, it was dancing at the gala with Oliver, it was running down the streets of Alexandria searching for a way back home.  S.H.I.E.L.D. was my home now.  My voice barely a whisper, a smile creeping across my lips and up the sides of my scarred face, I breathed, "I am free."

And I hugged them both.