"Wake her up."

Something cold slid down my nose.  My neck was lulled back at an arched angle, and my hands were numb.  A hand yanked the my hair, my head was lifted forward.  Suddenly, I was soaked with fucking cold water.  "I'm awake," I snapped, but it sounded more like a groan.  One eye was swelled shut, but I opened the other one and made out a dark room.

Was this Hydra?  It very much looked like Hydra, with no windows and damp floors and brick walls.  But, who else in Hydra was left?  Why would they want me?  A figure emerged from the darkness, tall and slender.  "Hey." she said, and I recognized her voice.

"Trish," I said.  I immediately tried to stand, but was forced back down.  I was tied to a chair, my wrists and legs bound so tightly that they were practically immobile.  "What the fuck?" I muttered.  "What the hell are you doing?"

"Keep cussing like that all you want." someone who was not from Crimson Night told me, "It ain't flattering, and it won't intimidate us."

"I'll say whatever I want to," I sneered, but it came out croaky.  Two things were on my mind:  Where was I, and how do I run away?  Trish stepped forward, swallowing more Criz.  I saw her hands were now gnarled and chapped, her skin dull.  She was killing herself, and my heart yearned for her to stop.  Her eyes were misty, and she questioned in a flat-toned voice, "What else have you told S.H.I.E.L.D. about us?"

"What do you mean?"

Tobias came to his wife's side and said darkly, "Don't play dumb, Sarah.  We caught you, and we're angry."  I had to be silent.  No matter how many ways they try to conjure information out of me, I could not speak and jeopardize everything S.H.I.E.L.D. was trying to do.  More importantly, I must keep Rose and Jasmine safe.  "I didn't tell them anything," I said, "'Cause I barely know anything about your new drug, you fucking morons.  I'm not responsible for what you did with that."

Trish struck me across the face, swift and hard.  She spoke softly, hiding emotion behind a monotone voice, "To think that I trusted you.  To think that I rescued you all those years ago.  And you betray me?  Sarah, I've sacrificed everything for you.  And you betray me?  And you betray me?"  She kept repeating the phrase, as if she knew no other words.  Tobias held onto her shoulders as her body shook violently.  "Trish, you're killing yourself!" I blurted, but no one seemed to hear me.  Everyone ushered themselves out of the room, shutting out the lights and leaving me in darkness.

I can't see.  This was eerily familiar to my first night in Hydra, but this time no one would be coming.  No one knew where I was, and it was up to me alone to make the right decisions- something I was never good at.  In the darkness, I should've been scared.  I couldn't see, I couldn't move, I couldn't find light anywhere.  But, I wasn't afraid.  It sounds fake, but there was a certainty inside me that ensured me I was surviving.  In my epitomes of despair, Papa always said to me, "You are strong, Elissa."  Papa was with me.  The necklace with the wood amulet was still tied around my neck.  Oliver was with me.  

An hour later, Trish returned with two of Crimson Night's men.  One said, "Talk."

I shook my head, and was promptly punched in the face.  I spat the blood sliding down my face across my dress.

"Is S.H.I.E.L.D. coming?"

I smirked, was hit again.

This process continued for hours.  Crimson Night tried new tactics, and I did grow unbearably tired.  With a busted lip, bleeding nose, and black eye, I looked like hell, and felt like it too.  Each time I wanted the torment to stop, I just imagined what Crimson Night would do to Rose and Jasmine- that made me keep fighting.

"Look," Trish said finally.  "If you don't talk, I'm gonna find Jazzy and I'm gonna do shit to her."

That broke me.  I screamed, "She's your fucking child!"

"That's more like it," Trish mused.  "Tell me where she is, S.H.I.E.L.D.'s probably there, too."

I balled my hands into fists so aggressively that I drew blood.  No matter what, I couldn't say anything; my faith had to lie in the hope that someone at S.H.I.E.L.D. would look after Rose and Jasmine until I get back.  I was planning on heading back, at the moment I didn't know when or how.

Trish scowled at my silence, grabbed my face close to hers until my eyes locked with hers.  Each breath she took was laboured, her chest rattling like a skeleton's.  And although she wasn't dead, Trish's eyes were that of a deceased animal:  Unfocused, empty.  After exhaling multiple times, Trish said, "I loved you, Sarah.  You were a sister to me.  I just don't understand, after S.H.I.E.L.D.'s track record, how you'd go to them like they're some savior?  They're just like where you came from before; you'll be a pawn chewed up and spat out like a piece of gum.  S.H.I.E.L.D. only needs you to testify for the Winter Soldier, the same man who killed everyone you loved.  You're willing to side with a bunch of arrogant losers and a psychopath?"

The stream of words came out smoothly, I knew what I was going to say after each sentence.  It was an exhilerating feeling, although I was a hostage in an undisclosed location I was in control.  I was able to be a hero for once.  In some strange way, I was avenging Papa and Oliver.  

"S.H.I.E.L.D. is far from perfect.  They are just people trying to do good in this world.  The old S.H.I.E.L.D. was being taken over by Hydra, it was that parasitic organization which was responsible for Stacey's death- not these new people.  James Barnes is not the Winter Soldier, Hydra had control of his mind.  The people I met have remorse for their pasts, and the only way to forgive themselves is to do good.

And, if they are what you said- S.H.I.E.L.D. is going to be finished with me after the trial- who the hell cares?  I am now a capable enough person to make a fresh start in life.  I doubt that it will come to that, however.

You cannot blame people over actions that they cannot control, Trish.  You have to let people work hard to be kind, and let them show that they can be good."

The woman processed my words, and I noticed I had gathered the attention of all the Crimson Night goons and Tobias.  Trish's features softened, and I was ready to believe that I had broken the wall she had built.  But, I spoke too soon.  Trish grabbed a knife, aimed it at my face swung it in a singular motion.  

Old scar tissue was broken again, wounds and tears reopened and it burned like hell.  I bit my lip and tried to stifle my screams, but I let out several painful grunts.  Even Tobias looked horrified.  Trish cleaned the knife with the skirt of her gown and said, "See if S.H.I.E.L.D. takes you back now, Elissa.  Go find my daughter and see if she would want to be your friend now.  See if being good will save your life.  I arranged her and Rose's kidnapping, I couldn't have them get underfoot.  They would be a distraction to me and my husband when we try to reach a common goal:  To get this new Criz spread all around the world, into the mouths of everyone who seeks happiness."

Through brimming hot tears I watched Tobias' face change- shock, anger, hurt.  I felt the same way.  But, Trish kicked my chair over.  My face slammed the ground with a bang!  I watched everyone leave the room, and was met once again with darkness.