ONCE SHE GOT USED TO SPEAKING HER MIND, IT WAS ALL SHE COULD DO. After Tony told her to speak her mind, he was constantly reminding her to, the first instance being at dinner when she had finished her food and wanted seconds, but didn't know how to ask if she could eat more. It had been forced out of her, really, Tony continuing to ask her what she wanted, and while Steve had told him to ease up, he knew that she could handle it, and she did.

It was strange, it was as if someone was still forcing her to do something under the guise that it was her own choice. 

She said as much to Tony—which was truly her decision, funnily enough—and the man had faltered, looking completely stricken, and had left abruptly, heading to his room and not leaving for the rest of the night.

 She had been sure she had done something wrong, on edge the rest of the night, prepared to be dragged away at any moment, ready to face the consequences for upsetting the man, but nothing happened. Nothing at all.

"Tony just felt bad," Bruce explained, when she had stiffened as Steve brushed past her on the way to his room, the blond not having slept in some time, "He wanted to help, and he doesn't always know whether he is or not, and when you told him that, he felt like he failed."

She felt her stomach twist, and she found herself crying, "This is why I don't speak out of turn."

"No, you have to keep talking," Bruce said, without as much fierceness as Tony, but just as firm, "I mean, you do what you want, but you'll hurt Tony more if you don't talk. But trust me, you're not in any trouble, and you won't be, I promise you."

She worried on her bottom lip, looking into Bruce's eyes, and if she had found the words, she would have called them kind. "Promise?"

"Yeah," he said softly, nodding, "You know what a promise is?"

She nodded, having heard it multiple times when she was still fully conscious, her masters promising her things she couldn't remember, because they never kept their word, and they once said promises meant nothing unless money was involved.

But Bruce wasn't like her masters. Bruce wasn't in charge of her, he was nothing like them. He might know more than her, but he wasn't above her, no matter what her brain told her. If he promised, he meant it.

"Okay," she said, glancing towards her door, "Can I sleep now?"

"Of course," Bruce said, stepping out of her way to let her go, "And listen. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. You don't have to talk, but you don't have to stay silent."

She sighed, her back aching as she tried to make sense of all she was told. "That doesn't help at all."

The last sound she heard as she closed the door was the sound of Bruce laughing.

º º º

"Why are you always staring at Tony?"

Steve turned pink, looking over at her from where he had, in fact, been staring at Tony, the man having his just left, his large array of second breakfast sitting in front of him, barely touched, the large man's mind seemingly elsewhere, though he had been pulled back to reality by a woman who was finally exercising her right to free speech.

"He worries so much about us, but there's no one to worry about him, 'cept Pepper, but she's not always here," Steve explained, rubbing the back of his neck, "And, I mean, I haven't been around long, and he gave me a home. Sure, I was put up in an apartment, but he gave me people, I—"

The man paused, staring down at his food. "I just really appreciate everything he's done for me."

She nodded, unsure of what to say, but Steve seemed a lot more relaxed now that he had gotten that off his chest, and when he looked over towards her, she tried to mimic Bruce and Clint's smiles, which were always nice to look at; Arabella's had too much life to try and mimic so early on.

Steve smiled back, a pursed lipped smile, but he meant it, which was enough for her to be appeased. 

The two continued to eat, Steve giving her a taste of his food, because if there was one thing she was getting used to quickly, it was all the food she ate. Bruce told her that it really wasn't much, but he did say that the only real world skill that he had was that he could cook, though she didn't understand what he meant, so his joke fell flat.

"Morning," Arabella yawned, stretching heavily, her phone in hand, her eyes practically glued to the screen, "Steve, did you see the news this morning?"

"No, I haven't gotten the chance," Steve said, and she faltered, watching as his eyes lit up with a fire that she hadn't seen before, Arabella excitedly showing him her screen, the man's expression shifting to one of anger, "This is the kind of shit that happened when I was your age, and that was nearly a century ago!"

She opened her mouth to ask them what they were talking about, only to falter, unsure if she wanted to know. She didn't understand as much as Steve, and by the looks of it, he was still trying to understand, his notebook and pen now out, his hand scribbling notes into it, surely with the intent to ask the others about what they meant, Arabella already beginning to explain.

It was all too much, so she left.

She made her way around, wandering aimlessly until she stumbled upon something interesting to pass the time.

She found Clint seated in the hallway, his tablet sitting in front of him, and he was smiling at it, which didn't make much sense, as it couldn't smile back. But she soon realized there was something smiling back when she heard Clint speak.

"I know it's hard, Lee, but we don't want anyone coming in or out, you know what could happen to her, it's just safer to wait it out. Once it's all over, we'll hole up in a hotel for a month and make Stark pay, okay?"

"Who are you talking to?" she asked, and Clint jumped, looking up towards her, and she just stared back down at him, because Clint wasn't the sort to get upset with her when she chose to say something.

Clint licked his lips, glancing towards his tablet, before clearing his throat, turning it towards her. "This is my boyfriend Tensley. Lee, say hi."

She leaned forward, peering over at a man who waved at her, his smile big and bright, and while she didn't understand what qualified him to be a boyfriend while all the other men in the Tower were simply his friends, she nevertheless waved back, because he was starting to grow antsy while waiting.

"Ellis! Time's up, we gotta go!"

"Aw, shit, I gotta go. Listen, Clint, I'll talk to you later, okay? Love you."

She watched Clint's face carefully, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion at the way his expression melted, the way his lips stretched into a relaxed smile, his shoulders lowering with his sigh as he breathed a mirrored response, and the smile still stayed even as he set his tablet aside.

When he caught her staring, she asked, "Why are you happy?"

Clint furrowed his brow, realizing that she didn't understand, struggling for words. "Well, you know, he makes me happy. I like talking to him, I miss him."

She wanted to ask him to explain why missing someone could make him smile, but it seemed that if she wanted answers, it was best to ask someone who could find the words to describe it, as Clint still seemed to be struggling to answer even the first question.

"Emotions are hard to explain," he said as she began to walk away, and she nodded, filing that away for future reference.

Not that she understood.

As she made her way towards the lab, planning on asking Bruce questions while he worked—everyone said that he didn't like it, but he didn't mind the first time she did it—she felt a familiar rush on her side, the warning just before the pain.

She screamed as the searing pain flooded her nerves, now feeling as though she was being stabbed, and she fell forward, her muscles tightening as she desperately tried to get the pain to stop, unsure of whether she was conscious or unconscious, screaming or mute from all that she was feeling.

She didn't know when she passed out.

º º º

"This was a bad one."

"I know, but there doesn't seem to be any difference in the readings."

"Yeah, well, whatever's in her, it doesn't always show up in my monitors, JARVIS told me she was screaming for two minutes straight before she passed out, and she told us that she could push through the pain, and it only ever lasted less than a minute."

"Well, I don't think...I don't think it's a sign that she's running out of time, it's just a sign we need to move faster."

"I didn't realize doctors were so blindly optimistic."

"I don't want her to die, Tony."

She groaned, shifting from where she was lying on a bed that was much more comfortable than the cot had been, but she made no motion to mention it, instead sitting up and looking towards the two men who were rushing towards her, telling her not to sit up too fast.

"I'm okay," she said softly, but Bruce shook his head, motioning for her to lie back down.

"What happened?" Tony asked, crossing his arms as he stood next to her, worry etched onto his features.

"The usual," she said, and the two men sighed, shaking their heads, turning around to talk to each other over their monitors again.

"Clint said something," she called out, before she could stop herself, and the two faltered, looking over towards her, "He said that he couldn't go see his boyfriend because you don't want me going in and out, because something could happen to me. What does he mean?"

Tony motioned towards Bruce who cleared his throat. "Um...the government...sucks, Arabella told me she taught you that word. And we kind of work for the government, unfortunately, and we don't want them going anywhere near you until we're sure you're well, because we don't want them hurting you for their own gain, because they're awful."

"Would they hurt me?" she asked, and Bruce licked his lips.

"Maybe," he offered, and he looked over to Tony who was smiling softly, turning away from them so as not to show her how funny he found Bruce's description of the government.

She wanted to ask him why he didn't like the government, but decided to ask him another question, one that had been eating up at her for longer.

"Bruce," she asked, trying to word her question carefully.

"Yes?" he asked, stepping closer towards her in the event she didn't want Tony to hear.

She took a deep breath. "What's a boyfriend?"

Tony laughed.

º º º

The next few days followed a similar pattern, though she only had three episodes, none of which lasted longer than a minute and fifteen seconds, and she was swiftly getting used to asking questions and receiving half answers, as they wanted her to experience, not just understand.

"Why are you laughing?" she asked, looking over to where Arabella had paused the TV, giggling into her hands.

The two were sitting in the girl's room, watching a show about doctors that the girl had wanted to watch, but Bruce didn't want to see it with her and she didn't want to watch it with the others for some reason, so she called upon her.

She didn't understand much of what was going on, but Arabella didn't seem to either, making faces and skipping over the parts where actual medical procedures were occurring, though she promised they were all fake.

She didn't know why the procedures bothered her just as much, she had been exposed to too much death and violence to be squeamish about anything, yet there she was.

Though Arabella was now giggling, her voice nearly a shriek as she explained, "I knew it from the beginning, she's not his cousin, they're screwing, I knew it, I knew it, I knew it, they were way too flirty when he was checking up on her, I knew it!"

She stared at the girl in confusion, tilting her head as she tried to understand what was happening, but the girl simply cleared her throat, trying to explain. "He said that the patient of his friend's was his cousin, but it's not. He's the "new friend" that she had made at the start of the episode, the one whose house she had left from."

"What did that mean?" she asked, because she didn't understand why everyone on the show was giggling, yet she understood nothing.

"Well, it's, um...ask Bruce," she finally said, severely flustered, and she nodded, writing it down in her notebook to remember, though she hardly ever did remember.

The two continued to watch the episode, and Arabella fast forwarded the part where the doctor and the patient were talking, mumbling something about not wanting to cause too much existential stress so early on, especially with her condition.

"Even with the pain, I forget I'm dying," she said, as the two waited for it to load.

"What?" Arabella asked, turning to look at her, and she shrugged.

"I killed so many people, but I don't know what it means to die. I don't know if I am afraid, I just don't remember. It's like I'm finally alive, but that could stop," she said, her eyes trained on a fixed point on the wall, and suddenly all she wanted to do was sleep.

She said as much to Arabella who nodded in understanding, standing up and opening the door for her, with her regular hand, not her powers, and she walked out into the hallway, feeling the weight of the world bearing down on her.

"Hey," Arabella said as she continued to walk, causing her to turn around. The young woman gave her a sad smile. "Talk to Natasha. I know she doesn't really seem like the type to talk, but I really think she'll understand what you're going through. And you're talking a lot more, which is great."

She nodded, trying to muster up a smile, which had become easier over time, and Arabella gave her one that was nearly blinding.

As the door closed, her smile faltered, and she was left to stand there, wanting nothing more than to curl up into a ball and sleep until she died.

She said as much to the hall. No one heard.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

The development has begun, she's starting to speak more now. There was a lot I wanted her to ask, but this is just a set-up since I didn't want so much time to go by in the span of a chapter, it makes things too rushed, but she's starting.

I don't have much to say, other than that the show they were watching was House M.D., and the only reason I'm name dropping is because everyone always wants to know what I reference, and I was watching the show while writing this, and Bruce is a doctor, so you know...it all worked out

Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!