Standing next to Clary, walking to take them back to a place where they were unwelcome, Isaac didn't know how to feel. Part of him felt terrible for yelling at Clary – his sister – but the other knew that it had to be done. In his time with her and Jocelyn (mom) he learned that Clary never exactly got punished when she needed it.

         That in no way meant that the redheaded girl was a back child, but just that she wasn't perfect. Jocelyn never properly scolded her or grounded her, only gave a simple warning before letting the girl go on with her life, and that carried on even to then. She didn't handle scoldings or harsh truths, unlike Isaac who knew them well from his childhood.

         But Isaac couldn't apologize. Why should he? He told her a truth as she brought up a hard time from his life, his deepest regret to use against him and to silence him, she should be the one apologizing for what she had said to him. Still, he stood in silence as they walked to the hotel, knowing that he couldn't start another fight with her. Isaac couldn't handle another one at the moment, not after the words that were spoken in the last one.

         The only good thing that came from everything was the fact that they were already a little close to the hotel, so the journey wasn't too terribly long. And once they arrived, greeted by Raphael, he wasn't all too happy by what Clary had told him.

         "Have you lost your mind?" he spoke harshly, turning around to face them, "A Shadowhunter and two werewolves – two? You do know this isn't a hotel?"

         Simon, who was standing with a small hunch and a brooding look on his face broke in, "Technically, it is."

         Raphael glanced at him with a small glare, "Even starvation can't shut you up."

         "Look, we just need someplace secure until we can figure out a plan," Clary spoke, trying to negotiate something to help them.

         "These people never listen," Luke said biasedly, turning back to leave, "Don't bother. Let's go."

         "You should put a muzzle on that mutt," Raphael put the emphasis on 'mutt', "The fledgling can stay. But you aren't exactly welcome after you barbecued half a dozen of my people."

         "Look," Isaac stared at him, "I'm sorry for killing your people, just know that there was no alternative option, otherwise I would have taken it."

         The words were true as they could be. Isaac wasn't like Shadowhunters, like Izzy and Alec, who could easily kill the vampires without a second thought. Isaac was taught by Scott, who believed that they shouldn't kill anyone; no matter who they were. He wanted to save people, not kill them, but else could he do? There was no other way to save the mundane – now fledgling – without killing a few vampires.

         "Let's go, please. I don't want any part of this," Simon pleaded to Clary in a deep tone.

         "Look, there isn't any place else," Clary said to him before turning back to Raphael, "You need Simon back, right? To prove Camille broke the Accords. What good will he be if he dies of starvation?"

         Raphael looked hard at Clary, glaring at her as Isaac thought the same thing he did. Isaac knew that sometimes you had to twist a situation to favor you, but this was just manipulation. This was just like every villain holding the damsel captive in movies. It was Clary.

         And as Isaac continued to look at her, he could see more similarities between her and their father. Valentine was manipulative, using words and his "friends" to get what he wanted, just like Clary was doing right then. He didn't care about others' lives as long as he had his and he had power, to hell with the rest of them; just like Clary. And Isaac knew as he looked at her and realized this, that he must have been the same. He must have some similarities to his father, he must have been harsh and cruel in some of his words, must have been charismatic enough, and he hated that.

         No one would want a child of Valentine. They must have been heartless, they must be just like their father, no one could love them. That never changed in Isaac's life, the little taunt first being heard from his adoptive father. "No one will ever love you, Isaac," he remembered the words, "You are nothing! Just a waste of space!"

         Isabelle could never love a child of Valentine; the one enemy she had learned to hate, and for good reason. When they figured out the truth, when they learned of the secret that Isaac had kept for days then, they would leave him – Isabelle would leave him. And he would be alone again.

         Raphael gave one more hard look at Clary before speaking again, "Fine, but the big dog stays outside."

         Isaac looked over to Luke; the only one in their little group that he could actually stand. Simon had always pissed him off, and now Clary was getting on his nerves. He didn't want to leave the older man, but knew that he had to go with them, knowing he would hate himself if anything happened to Clary.

         "If anything happens to these three, you won't have to wait till sun up, I'll kill you myself," Luke threatened the vampire, and Isaac had to admit that even he was a little surprised by the threat. He had always known Luke to be calm, not going to threats or violence first.

         "Easy there, Fido," Raphael took another dig at the alpha, "They'll be under my protection."

         Isaac took one last glance at Luke, seeing the nod that the older man was sending before following after Raphael. He wasn't sure if he could trust the other vampires – Raphael he could, but the others, he wasn't sure. Vampires and werewolves were sworn enemies, and he was sure that they all would jump at the chance at killing Isaac, something he didn't want. But he also didn't want to kill other vampires.

         Clary, Simon, and Isaac walked through archway inside the main room of the hotel, looking at a painting that hanged before hearing a button being pressed. Isaac looked back quickly to see Raphael standing on the other side of a cell, the three of them contained inside it.

         "So this is your idea of protection?" Clary asked him as Isaac took a seat in a chair that seemed more expensive than his old house.

         "It keeps you away from my people, and my people away from you," Raphael said, and Isaac couldn't argue that his logic was true. Then, the vampire turned to Simon, "Give a shout when you're hungry. Of course, you do have a pretty decent snack right here, no?" he motioned to Clary, "Oh, silly me. I forgot...you two are such great friends. Or has that changed?"

         Isaac saw Simon give a menacing look to Clary, and the werewolf tensed. While he didn't know if he would ever be able to salvage his relationship with Clary, he knew that he would hate himself more than he already did if he let his sister die at the hands of her best friend. Or, die at all, really.

         Then, Simon turned away, bringing both his hands to the cell, pulling at it as he tried to stop himself from running over to the redhead and doing something he would later regret.

         "Clary...you do not understand how this is," Simon grunted, taking a pace before speaking again, "I can hear your heartbeat. I can smell the blood in your veins. And I want it."

         "Simon, I would not blame you if you..." Clary trailed off, not wanting to finish the sentence, and Isaac didn't blame her. He didn't even want her to finish the sentence.

         "What? Killed you?" Simon rhetorically asked, anger rising inside of him as he did. "Don't you understand anything?"

         "No, I don't. And I can't," Clary had tears swelling in her eyes, "But there has to be a way for you to stay in this world. Maybe what I did was wrong and selfish, but...my heart was breaking."

         There was a pause before Isaac, who was grimacing in disgust at her words, spoke, "People die, Clary. So what if your heart was breaking, I lost the girl I loved and I didn't find a way to resurrect her, because I knew that she wouldn't have wanted that. You're just selfish."

         "What is wrong with you, Isaac?" Clary asked, "What have I done to make you hate me? All I've done is be kind to you, and all you've done is push me away?"

         Isaac hated his reason. The reason for the wedge between them that he continuously drove deeper. It wasn't the fact that he knew something she didn't, it wasn't the secrets that he kept from her, or how oblivious to the truth. No, it was the fact that Clary got the good life. She got their mother, she got people that cared for her endlessly growing up as he got abuse and self-hatred.

         While she was having family dinners, laughing with her family, he was hiding with Camden, fearing when their father would return home from the local bar. While she got to live with their mother, Jocelyn sent him off to "protect him." No, Isaac knew that she just couldn't love him, she couldn't keep seeing the failure he was. He couldn't even protect his brother, how was he supposed to be like a good Shadowhunter and protect others? Protect mundanes?

         "You wouldn't understand, Clary," he said, harshly throwing her name at her, "Even if I told you, you would never understand it."

         Clary took another look at Isaac, who was still sitting in the chair before Simon gave another bang at the cell. She knew that there was no way of getting inside Isaac, twisting him to help her, so she moved on to her best friend.

         "I thought I was tong. I thought I was a real Shadowhunter. Simon, when it comes to you, I am still just Clary Fray," she said to him, "And you are still my best friend. I would rather you tear me apart than watch you die again, starving and angry..."

         "Raphael!" Simon interrupted her, calling for the vampire, who quickly made his way over to them smirking.

         "You ready now?" he asked the fledgling smugly, seeing the sad and slightly relieved look on Clary's face.

         "Yes," Simon said, watching as Raphael did nothing but look at Clary with a victorious look. "Please!" he pleaded again.

         "Here you go," Raphael said as another vampire walked over with a tray. Raphael poured a glass of blood into the cup, putting it in the slot as he watched Simon gulp it down quickly. "It's all about presentation and quality produce. You see, us vampires look after one another. We take care of our family."

         "Simon already has a family," Clary butted in, looking at her best friend with guilt before flickering her eyes to Raphael.

         "Had a family," the vampire corrected, "That's all gonna change now. You're a Shadowhunter...he's a vamp. You two will never be equals. You'll have to learn that for yourself. Hasta luego."

         After that, the two vampires left them, leaving the three to themselves. Clary and Simon took the two other seats, Isaac looking away from them as Simon continued to drink another glass of blood and Clary watched him intently.

         There was silence for a while, and Isaac couldn't help but want it to last forever. He didn't want to speak to Clary at that moment, knowing that it would only end in another fight. Everything she said angered him. How she acted like the victim, how she tried to seem like an angel when she was playing like a demon. At least Isaac recognized that he wasn't a saint; unlike Clary.

         "How are you feeling now?" Clary broke the silence, looking at her best friend.

         "I'm drinking blood, Clary," Simon deadpanned, and Isaac's lips twitched upwards in appreciation.

         "I know, Simon, but..."

         "I never wanted any part of any of this," Simon truthfully told her, "The whole Shadow World."

         "Neither did I," Clary spoke softly, but Isaac just rolled his eyes. She didn't understand that while she could be pardoned for crimes because the Clave couldn't imagine a Shadowhunter doing anything bad, Downworlders like him and Simon wouldn't even be allowed to have a trial before being sentenced to death.

         "At least you're a superior being. I'm a Downworlder," Simon said with a little bitter leaking through, "Well...I don't wanna bite you anymore."

         "Well, that's good," Clary awkwardly spoke before turning serious, "Simon, what if I brought you back because I wanted us both to be different? I mean, suddenly I was this new person, and...you were still living in our old world. Maybe I...I just couldn't fight this deep need for..."

         "For us to be together," Simon finished, standing up and away from Clary as he thought.

         Isaac rolled his eyes at how delicate she was being on the topic. No, she didn't say the truth. She tried to justify her actions with lies. Clary didn't want to be with Simon, but she knew that the boy would fall for her words, wishing that one day they would become more than friends. It was sad, really, how Simon would always follow her like a lost puppy and would forgive her if she pouted slightly.

         "You're just selfish," he spoke softly, low enough that neither of them could hear. Maybe the other vampires could, but Simon, new to everything, probably didn't even realize the small complaint came from Isaac.

         "Yes. Look, I understand if you hate me now," Clary said, the soft and delicate tone still being used.

         "Being angry with you?" Simon paused, "Yeah. Hate you? Never."

         There was another pause before Simon spoke again, "What's gonna happen to us? Luke and Raphael can't stand each other. Every Downworlder seems to despise Shadowhunters. Can't you see the divide?"

         "Not between us. No. Never," Clary said to him, standing up to be closer to him as Isaac watched, still sitting as he stared up in sadness.

         He would never have that. Clary would never treat him with such kindness anymore, especially not after she learned the truth. It was only a matter of time before someone told her that knew the truth. Whether it be Jocelyn when they got her back, or Luke, who surely knew the truth by then. Someone would tell her, and she would hate Isaac more. Or, begin to hate him if she didn't already.

         "It appears the cavalry has arrived," Raphael came to the cell, going to the control panel to lift the cell, "You'll wanna use the back stairs."

         Isaac stood up, following Clary as she raced at the chance to see Jace again. He even used a little bit of his supernatural speed to keep up with her, not caring if he left Simon behind or not. Soon, Clary busted through the back door, flying into the arms of Jace as Simon went to stand up Luke and Isaac found himself by Isabelle.

         He took a glance at the girl, sending her a smile before seeing that she wasn't even looking at him. Sadness filled his stomach at it, but he told himself that it was nothing. Isabelle hadn't changed from the girl he had met only a week or so ago, she was still the same no matter what clothes she wore.

         (Though, Isaac noted that she was rocking the usual leather jacket, black shirt and jeans, along with the black heels.)

         (Really, how could he miss those? Everyone would have noticed them, whether or not they had a crush on the girl.)

         (Right?)

         "Thank God you're okay," Isaac heard Jace say to the redheaded girl, "So this is your safe hideout, huh?"

         "Well, you think the Clave was gonna look here?" Clary breathed, letting a smile reach her lips.

         "Can we please focus on the matter at hand?" Isabelle stepped forward, anger peeking out in her words, "Unless no one here cares that the Clave is planning on murdering Meliorn?"

         Isaac widened his eyes as Clary and Simon muttered, "What?" at the same time. And that's when he realized it; she still liked Meliorn. Isaac didn't blame her though, who could ever like him? He was just a self-loating werewolf while Meliorn was a magical Seelie. There was no fighting chance for him against the other boy that had captured Isabelle's heart, but he wouldn't fight over it. If she wanted Meliorn, Isaac would step back. He just wanted Isabelle to be happy.

         "They think Meliorn has more information on Valentine and the attack than he's saying," Jace explained, but it was mostly for Clary.

         "They're taking him to the Silent Brothers," Isabelle added, and Isaac could feel himself taking a step back. After his last encounter with that place, he didn't feel like returning any time soon – or any time at all.

         "That's the plan, Clary. Rescue and recovery," Jace told her, cracking a smile.

         "We get him from the guards, in and out, no one gets hurt," Isabelle said to them.

         "You want us to go up against the Silent Brother, and an elite Shadowhunter guard unit?" Clary asked as Luke added, "Without any backup?"

         "Pretty much sums it up, yeah."

         "Is Alec coming?" Clary asked, seeing the look that Jace and Isabelle sent each other, one of warning, as if not to speak anything bad about him.

         "No. Not this time," Jace spoke to her after a long staring contest with Isabelle.

         "If they're doing this to Seelies, no Downworlder is safe," Clary said, "But we can't go in alone, not if we don't want to be detected."

         "My pack will track the unit, create a distraction," Luke suggested.

         "I would suggest vampires, but...I doubt they'll cooperate," Simon brought up, and Isaac couldn't help but agree.

         "As much as I hate to agree with Simon, vamps aren't exactly team players," Jace said to the group.

         "Let me talk to Raphael," Clary said to Jace, "I think I can persuade him."

         Isaac rolled his eyes at that. That meant more threats, more using her knowledge against the vampire, and more acting like the villain in every movie ever created.

         It wasn't long before the group had gone back inside the hotel (much to Isaac's dismay, he didn't feel like returning to the place he just left) and they all stood in the middle of the common room, vampires surrounding them. Clary stood forward as Raphael did, the two of them acting like leaders, even though Isaac wasn't sure if the redhead was qualified to be one.

         "We're offering an alliance with the Seelies," Clary told him, looking back at Luke, who sighed.

         "And the werewolves," he grumbled. While he didn't want the alliance, he knew it was better than dying or having the Shadowhunters striped of their runes.

         "Why should we believe you?" Raphael asked them, "You killed our people. You violated our home."

         "You kidnapped a mundane, remember?" Jace brought up, his arms crossed in defense.

         "That was me," Simon raised his hand as Isaac rolled his eyes at the boy.

         "Look...you were just following Camille's orders. She violated the Accords," the redheaded shook her head, "You are a different kind of leader. We are a new generation of Shadowhunters. We believed everyone can be equal. But we have to work together to stop Valentine. And to ensure the Clave doesn't repeat past mistakes. What do you say?"

         Raphael stared at her blankly, "The decision requires a consensus."

         There was silence as the vampires looked between Raphael and Clary. Simon, who saw that no one was going to say anything, stepped up, "I vote yes."

         "Well, well, well, baby's first words," Raphael taunted, though his tone might have proved otherwise to some.

         "Don't make me regret them," Simon told the vampire, who just stared at him with coldness.

         "If our newest member pledges his loyalty to his new leader and joins our clan...we'll all stand beside you," Raphael negotiated.

         "Simon's not a pawn," Clary stood up for her friend, looking at him with anger.

         "No...I'm not," he said to Clary before turning to Raphael, "But I accept your deal."

         Clary stood a step forward, whispering (although there was no point), "Simon, what are you doing?"

         "Whatever it takes to protect the Downworld," he shrugged, "It's my world now."

         Raphael looked back at his fellow vampires, seeing a few of them nod and others give looks with silent messages written in their eyes. Then, he turned back to Clary, "Then we're in."

___________

         There was a divide between the people as they all walked down the dark street near the City of Bones. The Shadowhunters along with Simon and Isaac stayed close as the werewolves cluttered together and the vampires went on their own. It was clear by the shifty looks between the two Downworlders that they didn't trust each other, but said nothing about it.

         "This does not look like the City of Bones," Clary said to Jace, seeing as they two walked close together, in front of everyone.

         "This is the Downworlders entrance," Jace informed her as Isaac looked to the left of him to see Isabelle.

         He felt almost compelled to speak to her, to have a conversation or offer condolences on the behalf of Meliorn, but what good would they do? By the look on her face, it was clear that there wouldn't be a nice conversation with her until they saved the Seelie. Isaac sighed, hating how the feeling in his heart made him feel so many different things all at once; and all because of some girl.

         It reminded him of Allison in a way. With her, it was new, this feeling of love (well, not love, love was too strong of word for the moment. But like, yes). He remembered the way Allison made him feel confident, and how he felt the need to protect her from everything. But she didn't need his protection, nor did she feed off him for confidence. Allison loved herself, confidence coming naturally, so it was no different when Isaac was around.

         But, even though Isabelle was amazing, he had to remind himself not to fall. He had learned that falling just meant falling, it didn't mean being caught, it didn't mean there was a parachute. No, you just fell until he hit the ground and her heart stopped beating inside your chest. He thought that he could be caught, he thought he would be saved, but Allison didn't do that. She watched him fall, taunted him with the whispers of being saved, but just watched, leaving when he hit the ground.

         "I hope I have better luck here than I did last time," Simon commented as Jace looked at him, "I'm just saying."

         "Everyone knows what to do?" there was no noise of complaint, no sign of confusion, so Clary smiled briefly.

         "Text when you're in position," Jace told them sternly. The werewolves started to walk away before Raphael whistled.

         "Stay," he commanded as Luke glowered at him, but the vampire just smirked, "Good dog."

         "Bite me."

         "Roll over."

         "Play dead."

         "Boom!" Simon laughed, fist-bumping with Luke for the great comeback. There were no more witty remarks after that as a werewolf harshly shoved Simon, causing the vampires to hiss in retaliation and the werewolves to growl.

         Clary and Isaac went to calm them down, the latter pushing the werewolves back with a glowering look. Even though they were much bigger than him, Isaac had gone through more, and knew he was stronger than them.

         "Hey, enough! Enough! All our lives are at stake!" Clary yelled at them, "It's time we put aside our differences and work together! Tonight we're all Downworlders! Luke?" the redhead looked at him as the alpha nodded, "Raphael?" he looked wary for a second before leading the vampires away as his way of saying that they agreed.

         "I guess I should expect people to hate me for who I am now," Simon muttered sadly.

         "Get used to it," Isaac told him, "People are going to hate you, but others will love you. You just learn to live with it."

         He didn't miss the way Isabelle's eyes flickered over to him, sadness pooling in them from the way he spoke. Everyone he met who knew his secret had accepted him, mostly because they weren't human themselves, but there was one person who never did; Isaac himself. He always felt like a monster, and he knew it would never change, no matter how many times someone told him he wasn't.

         "Never get used to it. You hear me?" Clary quickly said after Isaac finished.

         Isabelle leaned closer to them, breaking the conversation, "Let's do this."

         All of them stared at each other for a second more before Isaac, Isabelle, and Simon left. They walked together, Simon going before the two others in silence.

         The werewolf wanted so badly to talk to the girl, to have a conversation that was meaningful. He wanted so badly to be there for her, offer her some kind words, something, but he didn't. Isaac stayed quiet, walking beside her because he didn't know what to say. And apparently, it was enough for the girl.

         It was when they met up again with Raphael that Isaac left them. He didn't feel like getting in an argument with the vampire, knowing that he would do anything to piss the werewolf off since he wasn't exactly a part of the agreement seeing as he wasn't a part of Luke's pack.

         Isabelle turned to him when she knew what was going to happen, "Please – please – don't hurt anyone."

         Isaac smiled sadly, "I'm trying to become a pacifist, remember? No more violence."

         She cracked a smile. It was small, could be unseen if he hadn't looked hard enough, but it was good enough for him. All he wanted was to make her happy, make her smile, and he did. For a second, he succeeded in his wish.

         Then, Isaac left to go himself, knowing that the werewolves didn't like him and the vampires still held a grudge against him for killing their people. But Isaac couldn't exactly blame them. He stood in the werewolves' vicinity, careful not to get close but not far enough away where they could kill him without anyone noticing.

         He went into hiding when the Clave showed up. Isaac looked closely to see none other than Alec Lightwood holding Meliorn's arm, leading the guards. And that's when he pieced it together.

         "Alec's turned," he muttered to himself, realizing that he wasn't with them to save Meliorn because he's the one killing the Seelie. Alec was leading the Seelie to his death, and that enraged Isaac. If the Lightwood could do that, how hard would it be to have a Downworlder killed? Would it be just another Tuesday in his mind? Would he have guilt? Would be even bother to learn their names, or remember them?

         No, not if he could willingly bring Meliorn to his death, just for the Clave – just for the Lightwood name that had already been tainted in sin. The siblings – Alec and Isabelle – wanted to save their family's name, but Isaac knew that they weren't – not the way they were going about it. They were just dragging the name further in the dirt.

         He hid the shadows, watching them, his ears ringing with the hatred he now harbored against Alec. He wanted to kill the Shadowhunter, to show that they aren't the best, they aren't invincible – they could be killed. He wanted to do that so badly. Isaac could feel his bloodlust returning, coursing through his veins as his mind whispered do it, Isaac, do it. You'll feel better.

         Then he heard the growl of a wolf, snapping him out of his thoughts, causing Isaac to fall against the brick wall. How could he? How could be allow himself to feel that way? How could he almost have allowed himself to become a killer – to be everything Scott told him not to be? How could have he almost allowed himself to become just like Peter?

         No, he couldn't do this anymore. He knew that if he got close enough, if he allowed himself to take out one of the Shadowhunters, just knock them out, he would kill them. Isaac knew that he would do that if he had the chance, so he stalked away, farther and deeper into the depths because he wouldn't allow himself to go any closer.

         His ears continued to ring and his eyes stared at his hands in disbelief as Isabelle went to him with a smile. "We did it," she breathed to him, "We saved Meliorn."

         Isaac looked up to her, still spaced out, and nodded. His eyes darted to Clary and he felt sadness. He sighed, knowing that everything happening between was his fault. If he hadn't snapped at her, if he hadn't said everything he had, maybe they would still be fine. Maybe she would have celebrated their victory with a smile, or something that let him feel like a good older brother. But they weren't good, and there was no hugging, and Isaac felt like a failure.

         "Something's going on between you and Clary," Isabelle stated, and Isaac looked at her with his mouth open, ready to object. "No. you're fighting and no one knows why. And it's not because of whatever you're actually fighting about. Something's changed in one of you, and the other's retaliating."

         Isaac sighed, knowing he couldn't lie, "Everything's changing. We're just reacting differently. She expects me to be there for her through everything and support her, but sometimes I can't."

         She nodded, "That's normal. But why make such a big deal out of it? She has to make her own choices – whether or not they're good or bad, you can't influence her."

         "But I want to. I feel like I have to," he sighed, "I want her to not make the same mistakes that I did. I want her to be better than me."

         Isabelle laughed, "You sound like Alec; an overprotective brother who doesn't want their younger sister to learn anything on her own."

         He swore he felt his heart stop for a moment. You sound like Alec, it wasn't Alec, but who he was, and he knew what it translated to; you sound like her brother. He was, he knew he was her brother, and that's why he wanted to do everything for her, protect her, but she didn't; no one did. They didn't understand because they didn't know. Only Magnus did, and he wasn't there.

         "Let me give you some advice," she told him, "Go with them and fix whatever's happened between you and Clary."

         He didn't want to, he wanted to object, he was, but then she pouted, saying, "For me."

         How could he say 'no' then? He couldn't. So silently, he nodded his head, going to join them, knowing that even though he didn't want to admit it, Isabelle was right; he needed to fix his relationship with Clary.

another long chapter for you guys! sorry for the wait, but I hope you enjoyed!