Isaac had a nice couple of hours at Magnus'. Mostly, it was spent listening to the warlock drone on and on about how amazing Alec looked the last time he saw him. He also asked a lot of questions about the Shadowhunter, and Isaac answered with a laugh. Being with Magnus was much better than chasing after Clary.

He laughed, drank, and never once spoke about himself. That was a good thing about Magnus, he always had something to say about himself or his latest fling. But Isaac was sure that Alec would be more than just a fling by the way the warlock spoke about him.

They had talked about how tall he was, and how much Magnus loved taller men. ("Height difference is hot," Magnus smirked.) The warlock had also told him that they had held eye contact for ten seconds, and it was 'steamy'. Isaac laughed, nothing with Alec was steamy.

It felt a little weird, talking about Alec Lightwood when Isaac was sure that he liked his sister, Isabelle. Talking about Alec, though, made him feel uncomfortable, especially after Magnus shared his fantasy he had about Alec.

(It was Christmas morning and Magnus woke up to find a naked Alec under the tree, a bow right where his junk was.)

(Isaac shuddered at it.)

But, all good (and some scarring) things had to come to an end. It was in the middle of a conversation about how luscious Alec's hair was when he got the call, and Isaac debated answering it or not.

It was Clary. It was always Clary and her picture on his phone, smiling with her hair as red as ever. She was calling him, and he didn't want to answer. He wanted to be selfish and spend more time with Magnus, but he knew he couldn't.

Magnus gave him a getaway, but he had to go back to reality sometime. He had to return back to Clary, fix their relationship and try to be a better brother than he had been. So, with a sigh, he reluctantly answered the phone.

"Hello?" he asked, dreading whatever would come from Clary's side.

"Isaac? Where are you right now?" she asked in an urgent tone. Immediately, Isaac sat up. While he still wasn't on the best terms with her, he still cared about her well-being greatly.

"Magnus', why?" Isaac asked, before adding with concern, "Clary, what's going on?"

"I may have turned Simon into vampire and now he's run away and thinks he's a monster," Clary explained quickly, and Isaac could hear that she was running.

Isaac groaned, reality was definitely calling. "And what do you need me for?"

"Please, can you help Raphael and I find Simon and then take him to the hotel?" Clary asked, unsure whether or not he would actually agree.

He didn't want to. Isaac wanted to say no, pretend like the conversation never happened and listen as Magnus droned on about Alec. He wanted that, he wanted to be selfish, but he knew he couldn't.

Clary needed him, and he had to be there. And while he would never admit it, he did care about the being of the mundane. Not that much, he wouldn't have any sort of emotion if he was nearly dying, but he could relate in some way with Simon.

Both were monsters. Both were ugly and terrible Downworlders who were monsters and hated themselves. He wanted to help Simon see good in it, though, like he had done. Or, he was trying to do.

It was harder than it seemed. He hated himself so much for everything he had. Letting Allison die, leaving them when they needed him, abandoning Chris so that he could find his own family. He hated that he had almost killed people – wanted to kill people. He would have killed Lydia, then he was ready to murder Jackson. And if it weren't for Scott, he would have taken on Ethan and Aidan.

He was so eager to kill them all for petty reasons. He would have murdered them again and again if it weren't for the pack that he abandoned. Isaac tried to tell himself that they were okay with it, that they understood, but he wasn't sure they did. Everyone else stayed in the town while Isaac fled. He fled and he kept fleeing from things that he couldn't handle.

Isaac wasn't a fighter. He didn't stay when things got hard, or try and work them out with words. He fled. He ran away from things he couldn't handle because no one ever taught him how.

He didn't grow up with Jocelyn, or someone like her. He grew up with Joseph Lahey, the man who took out his anger on Isaac. He grew up with abuse and fear and wondering if he was going to be fed that night – if he was going to be beaten.

"Fine," Isaac sighed, agreeing to help, "Where do you want to meet?"

"Uh – Simon's house, Raphael said that he would probably be there," Clary told him.

And the call ended as Isaac stood up from the couch, seeing Magnus waiting by the door with a smirk. "I suspect you'll be going to see Clarissa."

Isaac nodded, "Yeah, sorry I have to leave so soon."

He chuckled, "It's not a problem, the Institute has asked for my help. Creating wards, you know?"

He nodded again, and the two exited the apartment, turning different ways. Isaac kept his head down, the night already giving him a bad feeling. Demons flooded New York, and they would definitely be attracted to a Downworlder, so he was always cautious at night.

It didn't take long to reach Simon's house, seeing as he knew it well from all the times Luke made him drive Clary to the house. He saw said redhead waiting outside, giving him a hug as soon as she saw him.

Isaac was shocked by that. He thought that there would be tension from Clary, but she just welcomed him. Although, the same thing could not be said for him, who was still wary about the girl. He loved her, but the secrets he was keeping kept piling up.

"Isaac," she breathed, letting go of him, "I wasn't sure if you would come."

"I wasn't sure either," he told her truthfully, not meeting her gaze. It was the guilt that was keeping him away from her.

Guilt. He hated it – everything about it he hated. It made him feel so terrible for everything, and he didn't want to. He just wanted to be able to protect her without that nagging feeling like he was doing something wrong.

The two walked inside, Isaac twisting the knob hard and breaking the door – but those were minor details of course.

When they reached his bedroom, they got there only to see Simon hugging his mother and almost sinking his fangs into her neck.

"Simon!" Clary yelled, grabbing their attention and allowing Simon to stand away from his mother.

The mundane – vampire – looked at the both of them. "Clary," he said, ignoring Isaac.

"Hi, Mrs. Lewis," Clary politely greeted his mother, looking at her for only a second before returning her attention to the fledging.

"Hi," she said back before turning to her son, "Oh, are you all right? Doesn't he look so pale to you? Wait, what happened to your glasses?"

All her questions made the three look at each other, all knowing what was really happening and why he looked the way he did. After her last question, she even went to touch his face.

"No, don't!" Simon swatted her hand away, fear written on his face as he went to look at Clary.

"He's got contacts," Clary went to say, trying to throw any suspicion away.

"Okay, someone needs to tell me what is going on here," Mrs. Lewis demanded, but at first no one answered.

Clary gave him a warning look, but Simon ignored it, "Mom...there's something I need to..."

"Do for me," Clary cut him off, not letting him continue, "You won't believe this, but my identity was stolen. Bank account hacked. Apparently, I am not Clary Fray."

"Uh, that's awful. It happened to me last year, but..." Mrs. Lewis looked at Simon, "Clary, I don't think he's well enough to go..."

"Simon, we have always been here for each other," Clary spoke directly to him.

But the vampire was tongue-tied, there was a lump in his throat and he didn't know what to say, "I don't know."

"You know what, Clary?" his mother started, "I think maybe another time."

"Simon..." Clary cut her off again, not breaking eye contact with the vampire, "I need you to help me through this."

After a long pause where Simon thought, he finally lowered his head, "Yeah."

"Are you sure, baby?" his mother asked him with concern.

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Um..." Simon stuttered, "You know how much of a hypochondriac I can be."

They turned to leave before Mrs. Lewis spoke again, "Clary? You take care of my boy. You know how much he means to me."

Clary nodded before turning to the hall, "Okay, we should really go."

"I'll see you later, mom," Simon told her.

"I'm holding you to that," she said, "And when you come home, you and I are gonna have a serious discussion about what's going on with you."

Isaac sighed, turning away from them, already knowing the next words that were going to come. The same ones he never heard from Joseph and Mary Lahey – the same ones that Jocelyn never told him.

"Love you."

"Love you, too."

He frowned, and the three of them left, heading to the hotel that had ruined Simon's life. Or, where he ended it.

____________

"I feel sick," Simon spoke as they walked, and Isaac couldn't help but scoff. Of course he did, he hadn't really fed yet.

"Don't worry, we'll get you what you need," Luke spoke. He had met up with them about ten minutes after they left the Lewis household, Isaac glad that someone he could stand at the moment was there.

"I need this to stop," Simon said, and Isaac felt his eye twitch. He was really getting on the werewolf's nerves.

"I've been there before," Luke told him, "It'll get better."

Clary turned to him slightly, giving him a sweet expression, "I'll help you through this."

"No, you can't," Simon snapped, "Clary, I was a regular guy. I had a life. A regular life. And today...I almost tore my mother apart."

Isaac snorted, "Please, my first full moon, I almost killed a hunter or two. Then, I almost killed some others, then there were those other times..."

He sighed, trailing off at the end. He wasn't happy about everything he had done, but it did make some great stories to tell his children. If he had children, that was.

"Clary, what if I kill you?" Simon spoke, hating the words that Isaac spoke. They had something in common then; they were both monsters.

"Simon, you won't," Clary told him, a hint of sadness in her voice. She knew he wouldn't.

"Get away," he told her in anger, going to stand beside a brick wall near them.

"Can you get the car?" Clary asked Luke before going to Simon, "Once you feed..."

"Feed?" Simon asked harshly, "Are you kidding? That's what this is now? That's what my life's about? Like I'm in a zoo?"

Clary looked like she was about to cry. It was all her fault. "I'm...I am so sorry!" she choked out.

"Why are you so sorry, Raphael did this to me," Simon spoke, and Isaac realized something. No one had told him that Clary had a choice in the matter.

"Simon, it was my choice," she finally told him the truth, "You died. Raphael brought you to us. I had a choice. I could stake your heart or I could...bury you, and you could come back."

"Oh...Clary, why?" Simon asked after pause, processing the information.

"Because I love you, Simon," Clary said, tears brimming in her eyes.

"You call that love? You brought me back to this?" Simon bitterly said, "This nothing...where I feed, and I have to hide from the sun, and I can't bear to be by the people that I love? Did you ever think about that, Clary? How I would feel, what I would do?"

Isaac knew. He felt disgusted with himself, he hated everything there was about himself. Isaac knew. He felt the same, but Clary didn't know. She didn't know what it was like staying up at night, wondering what would happen if you died. Who would care, who would say that they loved you, who would show up to your funeral.

"Simon, please understand..." Clary tried, but even Isaac didn't want to talk to her.

"Just stay away from me," he said, walking away. Clary watched him leave, turning to Isaac, who sighed.

"I know you meant well, but not everyone wants to be dragged into the world that you're in," Isaac told her, trying to remain calm.

"I just wanted my best friend with me, Isaac," the redhead cried, "I didn't want to be alone."

"That's because you're selfish," he said, not sparing her feelings, "You're so selfish and you don't even realize it!"

Clary stared at him, her broken face staring at him, "I'm not. I was doing this for him! I was trying to save him!"

"No," Isaac shook his head, "You were selfish. If you wanted to save him, you would've let him die. You would have saved him from an eternal life alone. Because Simon is going to go to your funeral, mine, and all of his friends, who died of old age, and he's still going to be young. Simon is still going to be young when you're old, wrinkly, and dying."

"I'm not selfish, Isaac, I was trying to save him!" Clary yelled at the werewolf, "I was trying to save his family from a funeral, I was trying to save his life! It's not because I wanted him to be here for me."

Isaac laughed, "Keep telling yourself that, Clary! What about the search for the Cup? You didn't think about Alec or Izzy and their parents, or how much Isabelle just wants to make her mother proud and being close to you just made her mother hate her even more. You didn't think about me when Luke was dying, you just wanted him, even if I died in the process of saving him."

He took a breath, "Clarissa Fairchild, you don't care who dies for you, as long as you get your mother back. Because you're selfish, and you want your mother, your father figure, and your best friend. And don't forget about the boyfriend. You just want everything for yourself, and everyone else can suck it – because they aren't apart of your plan once you defeat Valentine."

Clary, by then, was crying. There were tears streaming down her face as she stared at Isaac in shock, "At least I never left anyone behind. At least I tried to be good."

He took a step back. Isaac may have said harsh words to her, but he never once struck an actual nerve, unlike her. Clary knew that Beacon Hills was a sensitive topic, she knew that leaving his pack was one of his biggest regrets. Yet, she said it anyways.

"At least now I see your true colors, and leaving you behind won't be as hard," Isaac finished, turning away, leaving a distraught looking Fray behind.

Isaac stayed by himself as they waited for Luke to arrive. He was so angry now – even more than before – and it was all Clary's fault. He tried, at first, to remain calm, but he couldn't around her. She was so oblivious to her anger, and she didn't want to even think that she could be.

When he first saw the signs, after she turned eighteen and everything changed, he thought that Clary would keep him around. Even when he found out they were related, he thought that the redhead would need her brother. She went to grab him when she was going to sneak away to their old apartment, and he felt joy.

He didn't feel joy when she kissed Jace. He didn't feel joy when she didn't even think to see him before going to Jace, and that hurt. It hurt so much when he realized that she would always choose Jace over him, and he was finally second. It hurt even more when she cared more about her best friend than even trying to talk to Isaac. Still, she expected him to stay and wait for her attention.

Isaac thought that she would need her brother, but she had another one. And maybe he was still alive, and maybe she would appreciate him more. She didn't need Isaac, and she made that very clear to him. She didn't need him anymore because she had Jace, the Shadowhunter, and not Isaac, the monster.

He thought that he could just be Isaac to her, because he thought she loved him, and that's the only way someone isn't a monster. But if she could say that to him without a second thought, she never loved him at all. And he was still a monster.

With his thoughts consuming him, he didn't realize that Luke had returned with a large amount of blood bags, staring at Simon. Isaac went to stand next to them.

"Just drink," Luke ordered the vampire, handing him a blood bag.

"You can do it, Simon," Clary encouraged him, her arms crossed as she thought about their previous conversation.

"Oh, are we cheerleaders now?" Isaac asked, trying to act like his conversation with Clary never happened, "Because if so, give me a S! Give me an I, give me a reason to stop because I don't want to chant anymore!"

Then, Clary's phone beeped and she went to call Jace, "Hey, what's with the picture?"

"Draw it. Now," Jace ordered over the phone, and Isaac rolled his eyes, "It's a Blocking rune. It prevents anyone from finding you using Shadowhunter tracking. Clary, the Clave heard you had the Cup. They think you're working with Valentine."

"Oh, my God. Why would they..." Clary trailed off, "Wait, Jace, is the Cup secure?"

"It will be. You need to get someplace safe. Someplace the Clave would never look," Jace told her, "I'll find you."

Once Clary got off her phone, she went back to stand with the others, "We'll go to Jade Wolf."

"The Clave knows you like family," Luke shook his head, "They'll look there first."

Clary sighed, looking at her best friend, "Simon, we're going to see the one person who can help us both."