At first, it's dark for a long, long while, but it doesn't bother me because I'm so at peace. Then I'm standing here by a crossroads, not knowing in which way I should go because I'm sure that none will lead me to my destiny.

What destiny? I don't know. Oh, there I see someone approaching, draped like a monk; I wonder whether he can show me the way.

Yes, he's pointing upwards, and I thank him and lift my arms. I'm flying! My goodness, I'm flying! What a sensation! I'm in the skies, reaching the heavens; and what a wonderful place! Here Mother Nature has done her absolute best to make her inhabitants happy. It's like a Valley full of Sun: not too hot, not too cold—with the Sea at one end. Everything is colourful, and the mild Breeze is scented with the Perfume of millions of Flowers. There's no sign of any Human Being, although I can feel their Presence; and there's nothing man-made here: no buildings, no vehicles. Just pure simple Nature.

I look around and there I see Dad and Mother coming to meet and welcome me. They are overjoyed to see me again and we hug each other. They are quite normal up there. No wings at all, as I'd half expected. But as I look over their shoulders, I see dark Clouds ascending from the Horizon of the Sea. Soon they're covering the whole Sky. I'm being pulled away from Dad and Mother! I desperately try to hold onto them, but it doesn't help, and it's getting darker and my parents wave their hands sadly to me as they disappear into the dark, beyond the dark, returning to the Light.

It starts to pour ice cold drops of water and I'm shivering, goose pimples all over. Suddenly a mighty flash strikes down from the clouds and flings me down, down into an ocean of fire; I want to get away from here, but I can't find any way out! I'm surrounded and trapped, it's so hot, I'm nearly getting scorched, I can't even breathe!

Someone's hands are laid on my shoulders, and gradually the blazing inferno disappears, and I'm standing at the edge of a cliff with a lovely view of the ocean. I am slowly and tenderly turned around and I barely get to glimpse someone with straight dark hair and eyes—but not brown or black—before he's too close for me to see anymore. Lightly, teasingly, he touches my neck with his lips and moves them slowly up towards mine, and I'm surprised at myself, that I don't try to get away. Instead I'm pulled closer and I close my eyes as an unfamiliar excitement wells up within me and it—

I open my eyes with a jerk and look around. I'm alone and feeling funny, weird. What has happened?

I feel different somehow. —Why?

My lips: they're tingling. What's happened?

I wipe my forehead with my hand. It's damp. Have I perspired so much? I'm still hot. Something must have happened.

I've slept. So what?

And dreamt. About what?

I don't know. I don't remember. I have a vague feeling that—

Oh no, not THAT!

I rush into the bathroom and rinse my face off, and I desperately rub my lips. Not that, not that! How could I? It feels as if it really has happened. Even though I've rinsed off my face I have that feeling. Never, never will I let anyone get me so close! It's absolutely against my norms—if I have any.

Whew! That it was just a dream!

I glance my watch: so late? I must have slept quite a long time: at least two hours. I finish the biscuits, checking all rooms, then I walk slowly through the hallway. I don't feel as miserable as before, but I'm not going to let others notice that though. My shell hasn't burst yet, so I don't think it'll be that difficult.

But still... In those few hours I've been in what used to be my home, I've changed a bit. Okay, a little more than a bit. Life is pulsing a bit stronger within me. The Blood of Life. The small glow that had threatened to be extinguished has become brighter, found a dry straw of grass and is searching for more flammable substances, so that it can grow and become larger and stronger. But I won't let it take the upper hand—I can't. It wouldn't be right. Yet I see more meaning in everything. Why I am, and others are, but not they any longer.

'The past one should recall with a smile.'

Outside it's still raining but not as heavily as earlier. I step out, and defying the wetness I walk around in the garden with all of its beautiful plants: flowers, bushes, a few trees, all of which mother used to care so tenderly for. Now some plants are sulking, weeds are popping up here and there and everywhere and the lawn needs mowing. It's a pity I think, for our garden was one of the most beautiful ones in the whole neighbourhood. Is still. I just hope that those who'll be moving in here next will care for it with the same love and care as Mother did otherwise the plants will never flourish so again.

When I return, I go straight to my shared temporary room and change clothes before Mrs. Wilsome has a chance to discover my wetness. Then I throw myself on the bed, stretching out, burying my face in the pillow. But the dream is haunting me still and I can't get any peace from it.

"Typical!" I sally aloud and sit up. Just then Miriam enters.

"What is it, Michelle?" she asks and I rush myself to find the right mask (I mean, facial expression). I'm not going to let her suspect anything. The least of all: my twin.

"Nothing," I reply monotonously. She gives me one, long look, shrugs her shoulders, gets something from a drawer and then leaves the room. I smile to myself: Triumph!

***

... PART FIVE next! 

© 1983/2016 by kemorgan65