Being here again brings back memories. Back in Teresa's little house with Jared. The biggest difference is the fact that there is now electricity and water; and of course the situation. My mom and aunt are with us, and my aunt regards the small house with disdain. She's used to riches and luxuries, and now she's been ripped from that and thrust into this. My mom, however, looks happy to have a safe place to stay. She grips the handle of her suitcase so had that her knuckles turn white, and her eyes are still red and puffy. Everytime my eyes snap to the bandage around her neck, I momentarily freak out.

My aunt allows Teresa to guide her to where they'll be staying. Jared stays by my side as both woman head towards their room, which was once the room Eva and Autumn shared. I look at him. Like, really look at him. For the first time, I don't see my headstrong cousin. I don't see the boy that once bickered with Eva, that used to regard himself as someone important. I see a teenage boy who's been through a lot, and who has finally been worn down by it. The bags under his eyes are very prominent, and the sadness and worry and anger lingering in their icy deeps makes me feel bad for him. However, that's the last thing he'd want. The last thing he'd want is me showing him pity, or bringing up how horrible he looks at all.

"We could have stayed in my second house," he finally speaks. It's the first he's spoken since reluctantly agreeing to stay with Teresa.

"My father now knows about that place," I remind him.

"What'll happen to my dad? I mean, now that yours knows he helped us..."He trails off, then gulps. "I- don't want to lose him, Cody. I don't want to lose anyone, or for anyone else to get hurt. If anyone touches Eva, or my mom," he sighs, but doesn't continue.

I'm shocked. That's the most vulnerable Jared's let himself be in a while. I can barely recognize the boy clutching his single suitcase, which is much like mine. Plain black. 

As I open my mouth to respond to him, Teresa enters the living area. It's the same as it was last time. Small, with the same couch facing a tv that is now on and on mutw. The kitchen is still to the right, and the small hallway to the left. The door leading to the garden is still straight ahead, blocked by the same curtains. This place once housed a family. Now, all that's here is Teresa, a girl probably as broken as the rest of us, if not more. I can't imagine what it'd be like to have to hide from a rebellion, to run away from that.

"You guys will be staying in the same room as before," Teresa informs us. Then, she takes a deep breath, tightens her high pony tail, and exhales. "This is all so crazy, isn't it? Back here again. Hiding again, from the same people and more."

Jared just shakes his head and walks towards our new bedroom.

"Thank you," I tell Teresa.

She smiles slightly. "No problem. I'll do whatever I can to help." She gulps, and memories seem to flash across her vision. "I hope we can end this craziness once and for all."

"Me too."

"You know, I wonder what The Others are up to. If my family is okay," she breathes, blinking away tears. Even Teresa is the most vulnerable I've ever seen her, and I haven't known her that long. 

"We'll find out. But, I'm sure they can take care of themselves."

Teresa simply shrugs and turns away. As she walks towards the kitchen, I realize this conversation is over. So, I walk down the short hallway and take a right, staring at the familiar mattress lying against the floor. It's spotless in here, almost as if Teresa used all her spare time to make sure it was just that. I roll my suitcase next to Jared's at the right corner of the room, then glance towards my cousin sprawled on top of the mattress. His eyes are open, staring at the ceiling of the room clothed in darkness. Not much can be seen, just a single window with blinds over it, the mattress, a clock next to the mattress, and a dresser to the left of the door.

I know better than to ask if my cousin is okay, so I just sit down on the opposite end of the mattress. I wonder how my mom is taking this, how Autumn's family will or has reacted to the news that she's alive. Will she appreciate what I wrote in her journal? My cheeks heat up a bit thinking of how I handed the journal to her, and of what happened. That memory instantly vanishes as I glance back to my cousin. Somehow, he's drifted to sleep, but he still doesn't look peaceful. His mouth is scrunched up as if he's having a nightmare, and the way his hands are folded on his stomach remind me of a corpse. I don't know why, but it does.

Instead of watching my cousin sleep like a creep, I walk out of the bedroom and towards the kitchen. There sits Teresa, still alone, in her kitchen full of electricity. She sips on a mug of something steaming, and her shoulders are hunched.

"Hey," I hesitantly greet her.

"Hey, again," she sighs. "Your mom said you're still going to go to school."

Have they talked? Maybe I was lost in my own thoughts for longer than I thought. "Yeah. Jared and I have to, or people will start to ask questions."

"Are you sure you're not putting targets on your foreheads?"

I shrug, then sit down across from her. "We'd be doing that either way, you know."

"I guess you're right. What about Autumn?" After she asks, she takes a sip of what I think is tea.

"Well, the city needs to know that she's alive eventually."

"Do they really?"

I think about it for a moment. Does the world really need to know that Autumn is alive/ I guess it's her choice, but she can't just hide forever. I think she needs to spread her story, of how she's alive and that she's a hero. Maybe she can rally people up to help fight against the rebels. Maybe. "I think they do. It's up to her, of course."

"I think you're right."

I'm surprised by this. "You do?"

"Yeah. What does she have to lose?" She takes another sip from her tea. "Also, there is something else I wanted to talk to you about."

"And what's that?"

"The government as it is now."

My blood seems to freeze in my veins. "How is it now, exactly?"

"From what your mom has said, better.  There still is not an official leader since your father lost his Chip, and since all Chips were eliminated. What Autumn did helped for sure, but society isn't going to change so drastically just because they're no longer being monitored or forced to be what your father wanted. People are still perfectionists. People are still trying to get power. Just look at Leane and your father and these new Chips. I know this might sound harsh, but I just want to make sure we're on the same page."

I nod, trying to absorb all of this new information. For a moment, things go out of focus, but soon enough everything is fine again. I think people have realized this from the beginning, but never vocalized it. Why? Because we need the hope that everyone is okay, that we're all okay. Are we really? No. 

"How do we fix all of this?" I whisper. I know she doesn't have the answer. I know that no one does right now. I crave one. I need one. I need reassurance, a reassurance that I know isn't there.

Teresa merely finishes her tea in one swing and gets up to place her cup in the sink. I notice a chip on the rim, and the the cup is plain white porcelain. After it clanks against the smooth sink, Teresa turns to face me. She doesn't make a move to sit back down. Her hazel eyes are a storm. This world is a storm. Everyone is just a storm of emotions.

"We never stop trying." That's her answer. Vague, but sort of encouraging. Not an exact answer, but maybe it's something I need to hear. We need to keep fighting until the end, we need to keep trying to make sure that everything turns out okay. Some might say it isn't my problem, that I'm just a teenager and not the government. But, I know that I helped put this in motion. I know that the day Autumn's Chip fell out in front of me, my whole life changed forever. This is forever going to be my problem. It's going to be my problem until the day my heart stops beating. 

So, to Teresa's answer, I nod. She exits the kitchen, but I don't. I keep my eyes focused ahead of me, on the wall with peeling white paint. I can't stop thinking. Thinking of Autumn, of Jared, of my mom, of everything going on at the moment. Even in the middle of this chaos, I need to go to school. I need to pretend that everything is fine. I need to smile even though I feel myself cracking apart a bit. With my heart a bit heavy with responsibility and my mind still whirling, I head to Jared's and my room to get some sleep. If I'm going to school tomorrow, I don't need to be sleep deprived.

As I enter the room, I think of why I'm still doing this. Of why we all are. Before I can muster up an answer, I drift off to sleep.

_________

Thoughts? Yay, I finally wrote. Man, it felt good to write this. I'm kind of having writer's doubt for both of my stories, but I'm still excited to write. Let me know what you think! Any silent readers out there?

In two days, I'll be doing the author takeover on Facebook! Details on my message board! Again, it'll just be me typing to respond to whatever questions I get. If you want, leave me some questions about Removed (not this book, or anything that will be spoilery) and I'll try to answer them there. Or, just ask them then.

What do you think will happen next? Any predictions?

-Sarah (the number of times I accidently type my name wrong at the end of author's notes is ridiculous)