The old Christmas lights flash against the darkness of night. Many of the bulbs have long since perished their light, but it's still something. It's a tradition, and these lights are somewhat a family heirloom; passed down from generation to generation. My grandmother gifted us these lights, and ever since she died it's been the only part of her I have left.

Christmas has always been special to me. It's a time when all of my family would gather around a large table and eat various foods. We'd all talk and laugh together. As for the night before, the older kids would walk the younger ones around the neighborhoods to see all the various decorations. The richer neighborhoods were always our favorite, as they could afford to go all out.

Now, I turn and walk away from my house, Lily's hand in mine. A giddy smile lights up her face and it's contagious. My little cousin, who is a little younger than Lily, clutches my other hand. His name is Breydon, and he's a goofball full of unmanageable energy. He's also the only son of my mom's brother.

My dad's sister has two children, a girl a year younger than me, Gracie, and a little girl, Emma Rose. Emma is a few years older than Lily, and even looks a bit like her. They have the same hair, eyes, and face structure, just like Gracie. They all remind me of my father.

My father died when Lily was just born, and it still stings. Walking around, glancing at the scarce lights on our street, reminds me of him. My heart aches. He used to walk with us kids on Christmas Eve. He enjoyed the lights so much. He said they reminded him of the light Jesus brought into the world to make everything better. He was very religious.

I tightly squeeze my sister's hand as she chatters away with Gracie and Emma. They're all so oblivious to my pain. My father, being poor, didn't have many job choices. So, he decided to be a night guard to make sure everyone kept curfew. One night, however, the government found out he let people break curfew. After ignoring a warning, his punishment was death.

He was such an amazing, wholehearted person. He didn't deserve to die. I wish he could have lived to see the day things changed, that Chips were abolished and things got a little better for us poor folks. Because, I think things have. The government has been more generous and people have become a little less judgmental. If anything, all this has brought us closer together.

Finally, we turn onto a rich street. The bitter night air slaps against my cheeks, causing me to shiver. I wish I could experience 'snow' and the cold winters they talked about in history. But our climate has warmed, and a little winter's chill is all we'll ever experience along with faux trees and shrubbery at every turn.

The lights on this street are almost blindingly bright. Every color of the rainbow dances along the street and adorns houses. I see santas, which people barely believe in anymore, except the rich, and reindeer, and snowmen. Everything is tradition. Some lawns are even littered with faux snow, the white so sparkly and surreal.

Lily squeals in delight, her hair whipping every which way as she attempts to glimpse at each and every piece of decor. Breydon also yanks on my arm, trying to touch a blow-up snowman waving in the air. Emma spins in circles on someone's lawn, falling down and covering herself in the fake snow. Gracie has to drag her back onto the sidewalk before anyone notices.

My heart drops into my stomach as I eye the one house I don't want to- Jared's. I turn away, tears pricking my eyes. I thought we had something special. Yet, he refused to believe me. All he did was put me down and belittle me.

Before I know it, we're back at my house. All the vehicles outside Jared's mansion are plastered in my mind. He had a Christmas party and didn't even invite me. Whatever, who needs him, right? Who am I kidding, I do. I freaking need him right now, but he's being so insensitive!

I drop Lily and Breydon's hands and run to my room. My door doesn't have a lock, so I hope no one bothers to run after me. I close it anyways, then slide down it, wincing as the doorknob jabs into my back. Tears run rapid down my cheeks and I hug my knees to my chest. Darn it, this is Christmas! I shouldn't be hiding away in my room, yet I am. I shouldn't be crying, yet I am.

My chest heaves up and down. It feels like all the air is slowly being squeezed out of me. It's not fair. Nothing is fair. Not Life, or Death. Life is torturing me, yet Death took away my father. I thought it took away my best friend, but no, Life is playing games with me.

I hear a sharp rap on my door. "Eva, are you okay?" It's Gracie.

I sniff, wiping my eyes dry. "Yeah, just fine."

"No, you're not! It's Christmas Eve! It'll be Christmas in a few hours! Come on, come out here and celebrate. This is a time to be happy, not sad!"

"There is no way I can be happy right now! Just go away!"

"No! I'm not going to leave you in there!"

I stand up and swing open the door. Gracie's eyes widen and she jumps a step backwards.

"Here I am. Merry Christmas." I storm past her and into the dining room, where I join my family in eating dinner. No one notices my less-than-cheery mood, but it's not like I can blame them. They're all clinging to the happiness of the season, and no one wants to address the girl with wet eyes and a broken heart.

««««

"Merry Christmas, Evs!"

I bolt upright, dried tears clinging to my cheeks. Is this a dream? Standing in my room, with his dark hair plastered to his forehead, is the very boy I just cried over last night.

I pull the covers closer around me. "What are you doing here? Get out!"

Jared sighs, taking a step closer to me. "Eva, it's Christmas. What kind of a jerk would I be if I left things the day they were on a holiday?"

I roll my eyes. "What, no present?"

"Money can't buy your forgiveness."

"Congratulations, you got something right about me. But, actions speak louder than words. And, your actions prove that you're an insensitive jerk!"

"Didn't you call me that before we started dating?"

"Yes, and I'm going to repeat it again!" I stand up, tossing the covers off of me. "Just leave me alone!"

"I'm sorry, okay?"

"Who let you in here?"

He points to my window, which shows the rain slapping against the ground outside.

I point to the window as well. "Well, go climb back out of it!"

"Eva, just hear me out."

I purse my lips together. My feelings for him outweigh my burning anger, so I just nod and allow him to talk.

"I'm so sorry. I just don't know how to deal with my feelings very well. And, well, I am upset that Autumn's gone. I'm upset that my cousin and my girlfriend are upset. When I have strong emotions, my way of dealing with them is pretending like they don't exist. Yeah, I know it's not a very good solution, but that's the way I am. I couldn't live with myself for being such a jerk."

My eyes get watery. "Darn it, you're such a freaking idiot! Why don't you just talk about your emotions instead of being a jerk?"

He shrugs, a smile playing on his lips. "So, are you going to forgive me or not?"

I laugh, running into his arms. He hugs me tight, and I ignore the sogginess of his shirt. Nothing matters to me in this moment other than the pure elation I feel.

Once he releases me, I walk to my bedside table.

"Eva?"

I take the charred Chip off of it and walk over to Jared. "Just, look at it."

He sighs, then plucks it from my grasp. His eyes go wide and then he shakes his head. "Anyone-"

"-Could have wrote it, I know. But, please. Cody and I made a deal that after a week, starting after christmas break, so the day after tomorrow, of searching, I'll give it up. Well, if we don't find anything, anyways."

He cocks an eyebrow. "So, if you promise? No more of this craziness after a week?"

I nod. "I promise."

"What am I going to do with you?"

"Will you join us? Please?"

"One week, Eva Olson. One week."

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I started editing Removed! Hopefully I can still update this and FITYMI, but it's going to take time out of my days. I'm not sure how long it will take but can you guys tell me what you liked, what I should add, what you didn't like, and what I should remove? I'd greatly appreciate it!

-Sarah