My mom worries, I know she does. I can see it shining in her eyes as I sit at the dinner table for the first time in a few weeks. It's not like she's not hurting too. She lost her husband. She realized what a horrible person he was. She saw her creation, Chips, being destroyed before her very eyes. But she had also seen what a horror they had become.

She twirls her spoon in her soup, idly staring down at the murky mixture. Mom has never been the best cook. She always hired people to do it for her. But, after everything with Autumn, she fired the cook and the staff.

She saw this as a new start. A new start for her as a mother and as a person. Looking at her, I can easily realize I'm not the only person affected by all of this.

"So, how was your day?" Mom finally asks, looking up and staring into my eyes.

I shrug, staring down at my own food. I really, really don't want to eat it. No offense to my mom. I mean, her food is edible, just not very flavorful. Even besides that, I'm not very hungry.

"Cody?"

"Oh. Um, it was alright."

Again, her gaze bores into my own. I can tell she doesn't believe a word I'm speaking. Worry and sadness pools in her eyes and it takes all I have not to break down and cry in her arms. But, I feel like we're not that close yet. After all the mistrust and all that occurred, the healing is going to take a while.

"You can be honest, you know. I know this has been hard on you. I'm so so sorry. I really am."

I sigh. Every dinner, almost every waking moment I spend with her, she apologizes. In the end, she tried to help. Even if she was seen as evil before, it was never her fault things ended the way they did.

If only she could realize this. If only I could get back the mother I knew as a child. The one that frolicked with me and took me to my aunt's ice creamery to get a scoop of ice cream every weekend if I behaved the week before. 

To be honest, even if I didn't, she'd still take me against my father's wishes. She was the lenient parent. She was the 'fun' parent. At first, my dad was fun too. But, slowly, he morphed into something he shouldn't have.

Back then, I never knew it had to do with Chips. I just knew I had one in my wrist. I just knew that every where I went it was to be scanned. Once I turned twelve I had to start working out. Everything had to be perfect.

Even though Chips are gone, it doesn't mean the expectations aren't. Society isn't going to change in a day, or a week, or a month.

"Please, stop apologizing," I finally whisper, not able to meet her begging gaze; eyes begging for forgiveness. I shovel a spoonful of soup into my mouth. It doesn't taste like anything. Mom either doesn't use spices and herbs or uses way too much.

Suddenly, her watch beeps. I watch her check the screen with wide eyes. Then, with a quick goodbye and zero explanation, she runs out the door.

I already know what happened. Work needs her. She still works for the government, just not the position she used to. Actually, she hasn't told me much about what she does, but I'm perfectly okay with that.

I'm left to eat in silence. Silence can be comfortable, awkward, lonely, uncomfortable, or anywhere in between. Right now, it's pretty lonely and pretty uncomfortable.

"HEY I'M GOING TO GET ICE CREAM. YOU DOWN CODY?"

That can only be one person. He's always done this, barging into the house unannounced. Well, I guess his whole thing about ice cream is his normal greeting. He's done this since we were kids, but lately I just haven't been up to join him. It's been so long since I've been to the ice creamery while it's open.

But, for once in the past few moths, and maybe even year, I reply, "Okay, coming!"

I can see the shock written across his face as I rush through the dining room into the even larger living room. Jared's leaning against one of the double doors, mouth nearly hanging open in shock.

I glance down at his sneakers and see a circle of mud around him. Mom will not be happy that he tracked mud all over her marble flooring. Plus, if it's raining, who randomly goes for ice cream? Well, I guess me.

"Mom's gonna kill you," I snicker.

"Nah. She wouldn't."

I roll my eyes. "She would. Oh, and you're paying."

"But-"

"No buts!" I laugh, rushing past him out of the door and into the torrential downpour. Water falls from the sky and pelts against my back as I make a dash for my cousin's truck. Then, I hop in and swiftly close the door behind me.

A few seconds later, my cousin enters the driver's seat. I know he put on the alarm, so I don't have to worry about that. He tells the vehicle where to take us and leans back, arms above his head.

His parents finally gifted him a truck. Since vehicles have the self driving option, you can can one as early as fifteen (with the right amount of money. Cars are expensive these days.) However, you must take courses if you want to manually drive. Not that anyone does anymore.

I glance around the interior. I remember the outside being a sleek midnight black. The interior is plush and modern. It's all black as well with the newest bells and whistles. You know, seat warmers and chairs that message you. No, that isn't a joke.

I'm not sure why Jared wanted a truck instead of a sweet rich kid ride. The honest answer is probably because he's always been infatuated with them. He loved the idea of old trucks when he was younger. He even collected models of them. Of course, he had to get a modern one though. I mean, who doesn't want a message while driving around?

I reach turn on the message mechanism but Jared slaps my hand away.

"We're here!"

I sigh, unbuckling myself and hopping out. I walk through the familiar glass door, rushing out of the rain, something spinning inside of me. Memories rise to the surface and I try my hardest to swallow them back down.

Things aren't the same as they used to be; things are different now. Yet, I'm still determined. I have a feeling that Autumn is out there somewhere, that this isn't all over yet. It can't really be over just like it was.

Eva wouldn't help me. I sure as hell know my cousin won't. So, now what?

Pushing my worries to the back of my mind, I approach my aunt with a timid smile. Her lips stretch into a wide grin, hair from her ponytail whacking her in the face. "There's my favorite nephew!"

She rushes from behind the counter and pulls me into a hug. Luckily, she doesn't have any business besides a very affectation couple in the corner.

I hug her back and laugh.

"I'm here too, Aunt June," Jared pouts.

She laughs, pulling him into a hug as well. "And here's my other favorite."

"Sureeee."

I find myself still laughing as she pulls away. Jared has his lips tugged down into a frown, but I can see in his eyes he's only joking.

Aunt June rolls her eyes and steps back behind the counter. A plethora of smells twirl around me and I find myself inhaling deeply. It smells like my childhood, like happy memories, and most importantly, ice cream and coffee.

My eyes land on the flavors behind the glass. She's got a lot of new ones, but one catches my eye and I gulp.

"I'll have a Fruity Rainbow Swirl please, Aunt June." It was Autumn's favorite.

She doesn't know that, and neither does Jared. So, my aunt just nods.

"And I'll have it in a cone."

Again, she nods and hands me my order. My cousin gets some kind of chocolate supreme ice cream in a cup. After chatting with our aunt for a few minutes, we find a table on the opposite end of the shop than the couple. She was nice enough to give us free ice cream. Her being my aunt has its perks.

The table we sit at hides behind the counter full of yummy treats. I don't think it's one we've ever sat at, either.

"So, how've you been?"

Jared looks me straight in the eye and I gulp.

"At least you came out for ice cream. I was pretty surprised. But, hey, it's a nice change."

"Yeah," I nod absentmindedly, licking my ice cream. A little fruity for my taste, but amazing nonetheless.

"You okay?"

"Yup."

"You don't seem okay. Come on, you can be honest with me. We're basically like brothers!"

I shrug, glancing down at my cone where swirls of pink, red, and and everything in between are already dripping.

"It's about Autumn, isn't it?"

Slowly, I nod. "I know you don't want to hear about her anymore. I know exactly what you're going to tell me, to move on."

I glance up to see him debating something. Finally, he sighs. "Yeah, I am. But let's not go there, okay? Why don't we just have some fun?"

I force a smile. "Alright." Having fun is the last thing on my mind right now. This isn't just about Autumn anymore. I feel that it's so much more. I just have a feeling. But no one's willing to listen.

We eat, talk about random stuff, and glance out of the window at the pouring rain. Jared talks about Eva like a lovesick puppy. He doesn't even realize he's hurting me, talking about something I no longer have. I'm not going to yell at him for it. That's the difference between him and me.

His eyes are lit like the stars. He's animatedly talking and I almost laugh. Almost. He's almost oblivious to me sitting across from him, or from the pain his girlfriend and I are both feeling right now.

But it's all okay, right? Just because people say everything's okay it just has to be.

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QOTD: What would you have said to Jared as he talked about Eva if you were Cody?

-Sarah