People cast me all types of weird looks as I walk down the hallway. I keep my head down, anxiety bubbling within me. They're all judging me for my freak out yesterday. I know they are.

As I gather my necessary materials for class, I realize there is no sign of the familiar swoop of midnight hair. My heart plummets to my stomach as I realize Jared isn't here. The one day I really need him here, he isn't.

Is he ashamed of me? Is he upset that I'm still mourning my best friend? Anger builds up inside me as I weave my way through the groups of people littering the hallway. He's my boyfriend! How could he be so inconsiderate?

Then, my anger simmers down into woe. I clutch my books tighter towards my chest, tears pricking my eyes once again. I force myself to calm down. I can't make a fool of myself again.

I enter my homeroom class with my head held high. I haven't been one to shy away from confrontation, and I'm not going to start now. So, every stray giggle, every lingering glance, every pointing finger receives a cold glare in response.

My bottom plops into a seat smack dab in the middle of the classroom. The girl next to me snickers. In response, I turn my legs in her direction and lean in close. I've had to deal with enough. I don't need this.

"What's so funny?" I query, challenging her with my gaze.

She swiftly shakes her head and points her own gaze towards the front of the classroom. Good, jerk.

By this time, the teacher has entered the room. It has descended into silence, the scary kind that makes your heart beat a tad bit faster. The teacher sits at his desk, hands folded in front of him. His severe gaze honestly scares the heck out of me.

I hear someone settle into the empty seat on my other side. Glancing to my right, I notice Cody slouching in his seat, a sullen expression dominating his features. When Autumn was here, his hazel eyes were bright and expressive. Now, they hold a tale of horrible loss and overextended adventure.

Instead of bothering him, I leave him to his thoughts. There's no point in questioning if either of us are okay anymore because the answer is quite obviously 'no'. I begin to wonder if I look like that; worn out, only capable of sorrow or anger. I probably do, and maybe that's why I'm such an interesting topic.

Finally, the bell rings, dismissing us to our first class. I all but bolt out of the classroom, Cody close behind me. As we both trudge our way down the hallway, students flooding in like water from various faucets, I decide to try and hold a conversation.0

"Hey, what's up?"

It takes him a few seconds to register my words and a few more to answer. "Oh, hey Ev. You okay?"

I furrow my eyebrows. "Me? Me? You're the one looking like someone stabbed a thousand holes in your heart!"

He shrugs. "Maybe they did."

He's taking this way harder than I am. "You know, we can't go on like this anymore. Cody, this isn't good for either of us."

His expression turns cold. "I can't just forget everything that happened! I can't forget Autumn, or what my jerk of a father did, or the fact that my cousin seems more distant than ever! Or that random girls won't leave me the heck alone! I wish people didn't realize who we are."

I nod. "Yeah. It sucks."

As to prove our point, a young girl walks over to us. A giddy smile lights up her pale face. "Hey, you're the girl who knew Autumn right?" Then, she turns to Cody and her grin grows wider. "Oooh, and you were her boyfriend, right?"

I barely refrain from rolling my eyes. Either people are scoffing at me or asking me about Autumn.

"Yeah," I end up nodding.

"So, like, is she really dead?"

Glancing to my right, I can tell Cody is becoming uncomfortable. He's become stiff and his gaze is cast towards the ground. Annoyance flares up inside of me as I grab his arm and push past her.

"What do you think?" I snap right before I pass her, my stern gaze boring into her bewildered one.

I release Cody's arm and stop in front of our next class. I glance at my friend, the poor boy who looks like he's aged five years in the past few months. Experience has done nothing but deteriorate us at the core. One day, there might not be anything left.

"Cody, have you seen yourself?" I whisper. "Something had to give. We can't survive like this!"

"You're right," He exhales slowly. "Something does need to give."

My heart sinks to the bottom of my stomach, but I know it's for our own good. My best friend is gone, and I think I'm going to have to accept it. My brain knows it, but my heart is the one struggling.

"We're going to prove she isn't dead."

My eyes nearly bulge out of heir sockets. "You're crazy!"

We both back away from the classroom door, the tardy bell having rung a few minutes prior. "Look, I miss her too. I really, really do. But I think it's best-"

"They never recovered her body! Come on, that has to account for something!"

I want to believe in this. I really, really do. But, I'm not sure if I can. I'm not sure that if we turn up empty handed, my heart will be able to take being shattered into a million pieces all over again.

"Eva, you're the last person that hasn't given up. Please, I'm begging you. I can't do this alone."

Solemnly, I place a hand on his shoulder. Tears gather in the corners of my eyes as my heart starts to fracture. "I'm so sorry, but I can't. I can't do this anymore. Please, please don't do this to yourself!"

Tears pool in his own eyes. "Eva-"

I turn away from him, stepping forward and gripping the doorknob. "I can't. I'm so sorry."