Insecurities
There was a girl who was always happy. She was cheerful and wished for everyone to be happy. For the longest time, she believed she could do just that.
A dispute broke out between the girl's two best friends and she was devastated when neither would listen to her advice to apologize and make up. They both told her the same thing. "Pick a side," they said.
The girl was torn. She loved both of her friends and couldn't possibly chose between them. But, would she rather lose two friends or just one?
She began to feel insecure. Her mind was full of thoughts that constantly ate away at her. She started to think that the whole thing was her fault. If only she had noticed their bad relationship sooner, then she could have made more attempts to fix it, to prevent the fight from happening in the first place.
"It's all my fault. I'm such a bad person." She thought to herself.
While the girl was silently blaming herself, her two best friends were declaring war on one another. The girl wanted to help them, she really did. But she couldn't help both without hurting them. All she wanted was for everything to go back to normal, for everyone to be happy again.
A week passed and the pressure upon the girl was overwhelming. She had to pick soon but she couldn't bring herself to choose just one of them. If she did, then the other would feel left out and sad.
"I can't do this," she told herself, tears streaming down her face. "Why is this so hard?"
Days passed on and the two former best friends not only hated each other but the girl who couldn't choose between the two of them.
The girl was heartbroken after losing her two precious friends but never once blamed them for the problem. She blamed herself. She felt so insecure and pressured by her own feelings that she started to break away from her social life.
She was left alone, no one bothering to help her cope with her insecurities. She was left alone, no one to make her happy and smile. She was left alone, blaming herself for all the wrongs in the world.
Soon, a year was gone and the girl was entering her senior year in highschool. Because of the incident that happened a year ago, she felt she should keep all her feelings bottled inside her so she wouldn't hurt anyone else like she did before.
When she hung out with her friends, she'd be the only one not having fun. When ever there was a group or partner project, she'd always be the last one left, forced to do the project alone. Whenever the other girls would talk about the latest gossip, she'd never join in. But that was the way she liked it.
In her eyes, she was shielding everyone from being sad and left out. She put all of that upon herself, not thinking of the consequences of doing so.
In everyone else's eyes, she was avoiding any form of relationship or friendship with anyone. She was putting herself above everyone else, not bothering to even talk to them.
The girl, without trying, was making everyone sad and left out. She just wanted everyone to be happy, that she forgot about herself.
She thought that her own happiness wasn't worth it if it was gained by someone else's sadness. And although it was a good mindset, the girl had forgotten one crucial thing.
One fact that was harsh but true. One fact that would have helped her avoid all the trouble she had caused, for herself and others.
You can't make everyone happy.
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