I walk to the restaurant I had rented to celebrate our sales Jungkook  had skyrocketed within a single photoshoot.

He's there, sitting in the middle of the crowd. The dinner must already be over, I didn't like eating in front of a lot of people, I just came here to support Jungkook.

He'd be upset if I don't come in his celebration

But he's having a lot of company, he doesn't need mine. It's nice seeing people having conversations like that, having fun trying to know each other, drinking games where all of them end up on the floor over on another except I don't like it. Any of it, I don't like it when I have to participate.

I walk to the balcony seeking some solitude

I take out a cigarette from my pocket, place it on my lips and light it a fire. The moon looks pretty, it lights up in an orange hue, it shines like a silver coin.

I blow away puff of my smoke when a shadow I see behind me, it must me Jungkook. I can tell from the tiny waiste and broad shoulders

I throw the cigarette away, I shouldn't be a bad influence on him.

He comes closer, under ethe moonlight his eyes shine brighter, who stole the stars from the sky and put them in his eyes?

He comes closer and closer as he stops just in front of me. His hands go on either sides of me, grasping the railing at trapping me in the process. His face leans close, just like that dream.

I wait, except this time he doesn't kiss me, he sniffs me like a puppy. He keeps leaning into me until I feel his nose around my neck and it trails from my clavicle to my ear.

I clench my fists to not shudder visibly in front of him, that'd be embarrassing. The heat I'm feeling, as sweat forms in my forehead, in September it feels like july

"If you want to smoke, you don't have to hide it from me," he says in my ears

As he moves aside, I leave the breath I kept holding for such a long time. Since he has been holding me captive

"It- may leave a bad influence on you" I curse myself for stuttering like an idiot

He chuckles loudly, his hand finds mine and he brings them to his thighs. When did they get so deliciously thick, they might just tear his pants by how ripped they were.

But that's not what he wanted me to feel, he laced my hand on a rectangular object in his pocket. I pull it out, it's an electric cigarette.

"It's too late, Noona, for anyone to influence me anymore" he says, his porcelain teeth shining under the moonlight, the lip ring shimmers too.

"When did you start vaping?" I ask, unable to fathom what made him so depressed to start vaping

"Let's say it was teenage hormones and as an adult it's just a bad habit" he says, " the moon, you were staring at it. It's a better subject for our conversation than our bad habits, no?"

When he puts it like that, I can't argue. It's true, he's an adult and he can have as many bady habits as he wants. I can't advocate him on it when I'm no different,

Knowing were both two lost causes, I pull out another stick from my box of Marlboro, my lighter as on my hand since the last one, Jungkook takes it away from me

He leans towards my face, so close but I know he won't put his lips on mine, he doesn't have the courage, if he did, he would have by now so I let him come close. He brings my light to my face, with the only the distance of the flame not letting both our lips touch, he lights my cigarettes. Only the flame separating us

I keep thinking if he burnt his lips from being so close to the fire but he had some fire within him to, it would not harm him.

I face the railing yet again, staring at the sky

"What do you think of when you stare at the moon?" He asks,

"Who said I was staring at the moon? I was staring at that direction looking for the Seoul stadium " I lie

"Oh yeah, you can see the Seoul stadium from here?" He asks, I could feel the note of underlying amusement in his voice.

The fruity smell of his vape, tantalizes me along with his perfume- he's got a good choice for someone in early twenties

"Yah, pabo- it's in the south, if you stare from a such a tall tower you will even be able to see the han river " I say

"I can't see it, where is it?" He asks

I point at the direction where I can see the han river

"There," I say

"Where?" He repeats as if he's holding in his laughter

"There, can't you see where my index finger is pointing?" I say

"The one where a red car is parked on the side ?" He asks

"Yes, Jungkook" I heave out a sigh

"Noona" he breaks into a fit of laughter, " That's the Anyangcheon river"

He throws his head back, his eyes crinkle and I can't help but laugh along. So that's why he wasn't seeing the Han river, because there was no han river in sight!

And then he stumbles forward

I hold him with both my arms, the railing is too short and he's too tall

"You'll fall, Jungkook" I exclaim,

He leans onto me with his head on my shoulder

"And you'll catch me everytime," he says, his words slurr

"Jungkook, you're drunk- how much did you drink?" I ask

"Secretary Jeon, you can't chicken out" Hwasa called out

"Yes, Jonggukkssi. You need to drink your share" Yieun steps forward pulling him away from me

"You're coming, no buts " Eunwoo pulls him by his other hand

Standing up straight and walking back to the crowd, everyone was leaving me alone to drink

And I felt empty without him leaning on me

At that moment I wasn't sure if he was drunk on me or if I was drunk on him

"He can't drink alcohol well, don't let him drink"I yell from behind remember how he got pregnant with my child

" Gwanchaana ( gonna be alright), let the kid grow up" Mr. Min says

"Yes, I expected no better from a part-time drunkard you" I say to Mr. Min

Rushing to them, to my surprise, Jungkook doesn't drink. He loosens his tie with a finger and eyes staring at me

"It was in the past, whatever you remember" he says

"I tolerate alcohol well but I'd have to drive you home, I won't drink" he says, passing me a Champaigned tulip

The way he's holding it by the stem, so low that I can tell he's no stranger to Champaign or any drink in the matter. I guess, past is the past.

" Secretary Jeon, you can't just act all macho and not drink at all when it's your party" Namjoon Oppa Says stepping in

Everyone cheers him as if he was the first person to prove ice melted into water

Jungkook is just starting with his carrier, he has an image to maintain when he's to take over Jeonsoft. I can't just let him destroy his image, one drunk video surfacing could end a carrier he hasn't even started.

"I'll drink on his behalf," I say

I take the drink from his large hand and gulp it down in one go, who cares about manners when I can't control my hormones around a kid? I was just letting him kiss me in my dream yesterday

Chugging down the acidic sweet liquor burn my throat yet calms down my insides

I drink no more than half a bottle