A/N: I'm too tired to know what I'm doing anymore. *runs around room pointlessly* actually I did fall off my bed (unfortunately I'm not a bird). Wait, why am I telling y'all this? Jords? shut up! BLAHHH okay sorry I am insane but insanity... it runs in te family... ayyy see what I did there? ya okay I'll stop rambling I get it! I am writing this at night and published it, meaning I uploaded three chapters in one day. It'll probably be short but oh well! Lucky you guys!!! So yeah, it probably will be awful but I have been waiting to write this bit for ages and was really excited!!! Enjoyyyyyy xxx

***************************************

Jayden, Caleb and I were sitting on the back deck playing cards. It was late in the afternoon and the other three had gone to the supermarket for groceries and other things we might need.

"So.. What's the plan for tonight?" Caleb asked, dealing the cards out again.

We were playing snap. As childish as it was, it was our favourite game and I usually won.

"Well I was just thinking of hanging around and watching tv," Jayden smiled broadly and I nodded, but Caleb seemed to disagree. Well, not completely disagree but he looked at Jayden and it seemed like he was telling him something.

They were having another private conversation.

Obviously Caleb was telling Jay that he needed to do something but I wasn't sure what. Jayden was strongly disagreeing by shaking his head but at the end he relented.

"Fine," he said out loud, then shook his head.

"I hate when you two do that," I told them, shaking my head in dissapproval as I picked up my cards.

"You'll thank me later," Caleb smiled at me and Jayden rolled his eyes.

We stayed out on the deck playing snap until Jayden finally cracked from Caleb's constantly pestering eyes.

"Fine!" He nearly shouted at Caleb, making me jump in surprise.

I had never heard Jayden speak that way to Caleb, but if I really thought about it, it wasn't mean or rude. It was purely frustration.

"Katia," he turned to face me, a soft, apologetic smile on his face. He knew I hated yelling. "Would you care to take a walk with me?"

I took a deep breath but agreed. I don't know why but for some reason I was nervous.

Jayden took my hand and we walked off the back deck and down to the water.

One of my favourite spots was one that Jay and I had discovered when we first came to the river. It was a big set of rocks that stood out next to the water and one of them had the perfect indentation to sit in. It was officially our spot.

Jayden climbed up silently ahead of me then offered his hand to help me up.

We both settled next to each other, my tired head resting on his chest.

I looked up to his face just in time to see him wince in pain.

That was it, I had to know. "Jay, what's wrong?" I asked for what felt like the hundreth time in the past week.

'Nothing, I-"

"Don't give me that bullshit." I cut him off, my tone hard but caring. "I know you're not fine. Tell me what's wrong."

Jayden stared at me for a moment, then looked out towards the water, taking deep breaths which seemed to be to calm himself.

Just as I thought he wasn't going to tell me, he took one last deep breath and spoke, still looking at the calm water rushing to the ocean.

I had no idea what I was expecting but it wasn't this.

"Have you ever heard of fibro myalgia?" He asked, not looking at me. I shook my head and I knew he saw it. "Well, it's really hard to explain but it is basically a lot of tension in the muscles. Most of the time people with fibro wake up really sore some days. It hurts to move the muscles with tension in them, and some days so many muscles have tension in them that the person can't actually move."

My eyes started watering and I didn't want to believe what he was telling me.

"It's usually caused by some sort of emotional trauma and because it can't be let out mentally, it has to be let out physically, resulting in the tense muscles."

Jayden paused again, looking up to the sky.

"About a month ago I woke up and the muscles in my arms and stomach were in an immense amount of pain. I couldn't even push myself up to a sitting position, my arms were that weak. Anyway," he shook his head, trying to forget. "I told Mum and she said we should go to the doctor, so we did. That's when he told me I had this, the fibro myalgia. It's technically not a disease and there aren't any tests, but all the symptoms added up."

Tears had spilled over my cheeks and were dampening the front of Jayden's shirt.

He looked down to me and put his hand under my chin, lifting my face to look at his.

"Don't cry," he said softly, wiping the tears off my cheeks. "I'll actually be okay."

"What..?" I whispered. "How do you know...?"

"Well, my doctor told me that because all the physical tension in my muscles is actually emotional tension, he said as soon as something is released emotionally then it will dissapear. I was reading that for one woman, she was raped when she was only young and she developed fibro. When she was in her mid thirties, she started crying in a sad movie and she ended up sobbing, crying her heart out until there were no tears left. She screamed and cried and let everything out and then, the fibro dissapeared." Jayden explained to me and despite what he said, the tears kept falling down my cheeks.

It took me a minute to catch my breath, but when I did I couldn't find the words to say. Everytime I opened my mouth nothing came out.

It took me a few more minutes until something came out, though only in a whisper. "How do you know when it'll dissapear?"

Jayden shrugged. "I don't. I just have to be patient and wait."

"Does it hurt much?" My voice was still a whisper but now I was looking straight into his eyes.

This didn't sound good at all. I wasn't sure I wanted to know the answer, but I needed to.

"Most days it's just a dull ache in either my arms or my legs or my stomach. Sometimes it's more than a dull ache but I can deal with it."

I didn't say anything to that, I just hugged him tighter and didn't let go until it got dark.

"We should probably get going," I told him as I saw the first star appear in the sky.

"We should," Jayden responded, raking a finger through his unkempt hair.

I jumped down first and offered my hand for Jay to help climb down. He winced slightly as he hit the ground and I automatically asked if he was okay.

"Don't you dare treat me differently," he told me, but he wasn't angry. It was more... desperate. "Everyone treats me differently at home and now Caleb and Ty and Kenzie do as well. I don't want to feel different."

"I promise," I held out my hand and he smiled when we started to do our secret handshake.

We walked slowly back up to the house, taking our time and enjoying the darkness. Now that Jayden had told me, it seemed like a weight was lifted from his shoulders. He was back to his old self that had been missing since Wednesday morning, all smiley and joking and carefree.

I only just realized that we were holding hands and I smiled, but my brain was going into overdrive.

I knew it would only be a matter of time before I cracked and told him how I felt. I knew it would be easier and I was about to do it when I realised what Jayden would think it would be.

He'd think I said it out of pity.

And even though it wouldn't have been, I had to keep it in and wait for the right moment.

Something was going to happen before we went home, I knew in every part of my being that something would happen.

I didn't know what or when or why, I just knew that it would.