This is kinda an extension to my last rant about how misinformation is spread which creates romanticizers and haters of mental illness. And one of the ways that happens is in school education systems.

In my school mental health is briefly talked about for around a week or so. In 9th grade you have to take a semester of health class and there's a unit on mental wellbeing. We take a few tests to see how high our stress level is, briefly learn the names and like 2 facts about some mental illnesses, and then the unit's over and we go to the unit on drugs which lasts for about two months and goes in depth on why many different drugs are bad for you and how they fuck up your body.

A month's it? That's all we get to talk about mental issues? Not to mention the way it's done is terrible! We pretty much had to use Google definitions on the mental illnesses and that was it! We went a little into depression's symptoms and did a test to see if we had a healthy lifestyle or were at "high depression risk" based on our lifestyle. I remember I got the second highest scoring category {and highest of all freshmen} on the test for high depression risk and nothing even happened. My teacher didn't try to start a conversation or anything, just graded the assignment for being completed and that was it.

When we had class discussion about mental illness it wasn't informed discussion. It was mostly:

"Why would people hurt themselves? That's stupid."

"Don't only the like, really crazy people see stuff?"

"Watch out guys I'm scared for my test it must be a mental disorder!"

And so on. My teacher didn't even try to correct anyone when they said things like that either which bothered me. Is school education on mental illness really that terrible? There's also so many times I've told a classmate friend that I'm bipolar and they have no clue what that means so I have to explain it briefly to them.

There should be a longer, more informing unit on mental illness or perhaps even a class just dedicated to mental illness. The fact that much stigma went around during and after the unit and it wasn't corrected or really discussed bothers me.

It also bothers me when in other classes my teachers talk about mental illness like it's impossible one of their students has it. Once my English teacher said, "Some of you maybe have a grandparent with PTSD after going to war. That's a serious mental illness," and so on. At least she understood it was serious but really? Young people can get PTSD too... in fact I had it then and still have it now because of some wonderful childhood rape that I don't feel like discussing. Well, it's not like now it's that serious anyways, my therapist literally doesn't even think it needs treatment because I've already had 6 months of trauma therapy in the past and unless I think about it a lot it doesn't usually bother me to the point it's debilitating.

My English teacher this year doesn't seem to understand what bipolar disorder is at all and he treats me rather poorly. I can tell he seriously doesn't like my issues, I'm not sure if he also doesn't like me because of them but he's legally obligated to say he doesn't hate it in case I decide to sue for emotional damages or discrimination or something. Y'know, covering his ass and the school's ass.

Well, he clearly doesn't get it because he often says rude things to me that hurt my feelings and then he complains I hurt HIM for not responding. Excuse me sir, you said something rude and it hurt me a lot! I don't think I have an obligation to respond if I'm hurt, in fact usually I walk away first because I'm just so hurt I don't know where to begin. Then he'll start his sentences to me with, "I know you're going through something, but..."

I'm always going through something, mister. Don't try to use that to 'cushion' your comments at me. If you're gonna hurt me, at least be committed to your act instead of trying to say things in some rude but legally permitted way. It hurts less because then at least I know you don't care enough to have to think through your remarks. A, "I hate you Shaun!" is much less hurtful than, "I extremely dislike your recent behavior." Just be blunt about what you mean dude, aren't writers supposed to be concise and blunt? Except in rare cases when it's a style thing...

Even teachers that care don't get it. They're constantly asking me questions and I know they need to learn somewhere but it's just sad they're adults who don't know this stuff. If I didn't know the typical symptoms of mania off of the top of my head I'd be in trouble and probably get into some serious shit because I wouldn't be self-aware enough to stop it, but if they don't know they can just ask me. Why didn't somebody teach them about mental illnesses in school or something? I'm not expecting them to be as smart as psych students but I would like them to at least know a little bit here and there. I'm not angry, just disappointed in the lack of education. Not in them because it's not their fault, and I don't mind them asking questions, it's just sad they have to in the first place.

My school had a group called Students Against Destructive Decisions and they're supposed to be an anti-drug, anti-alcohol, anti-smoking, anti-suicide, healthy eating, etc. group. They do presentations once in a while and you know what they say about depression and suicide? They have so many topics to cover that they maybe throw a couple stats about depression and suicide then throw the suicide hotline at us and move on to why vaping is bad for you, which they then have a whole demonstration and everything for.

How come so many other topics of learning are always upstaging mental illness and they only get glossed over? I could probably fill an entire book with just me talking about how bipolar disorder impacts me, many episodes I've had, how I hate that I got it so young, etc. And all we get is five minutes to talk about how many people kill themselves and a suicide hotline?

We need better education about it in school. If they do mention mental illness it's usually depression or they immediately hit extreme and talk about schizophrenia. If bipolar disorder is mentioned people usually comment about how it just, "Sounds like someone going through life" and they should "stop exaggerating." I don't exaggerate when I'm having an episode, or at least it doesn't feel that way. In my head screaming and trying to kill myself just for losing my other shoe is perfectly rational while on the other end throwing a huge celebration just because I finished one homework assignment seems very logical because I should celebrate the little successes, right? I have to really take a step back and realize I'm in the middle of an episode, which I think only works so well for me because I have a very strong self-awareness.

If schools worked better to explain mental illness I think that'd help how much misinformation gets spread instead of just leaving the subject untouched and allowing students to have their own false beliefs about mental illness manifest themselves for years because the subject was mentioned and not explained. After so many years of thinking one way they'll be very unlikely to change in the future even if they know it logically makes sense.

I sometimes mention how makeup promotes bad body image by making girls think their natural appearance isn't good enough and requires some colored powders and gels or whatever to make it look acceptable, and that if I had a daughter I wouldn't let her wear makeup because I want her to think positively about her body. My sister brought up to me that that's exactly something our dad does: not allowing something because he doesn't really fully understand it. She used the fact I'm LGBT as an example, he doesn't really get why someone would like someone the same sex ever so he discourages and tries to disallow it. I was shocked at the comparison and the realization that I did in fact sound exactly like my father really bothered me, and yet still a part of me wants to stick to what I said just because I've thought that way for so long. If she'd said so sooner I wonder if I wouldn't think that way.

And guess what? I bet it's the same with mental illness except even worse because the topic is still controversial. We need education young and fast, not crappy explanations as late as freshman year. I experienced bipolar symptoms as early as the age of 9 years old and was told I "wasn't old enough" to know what I was talking about when I said I wanted to kill myself. Three years later I'm told I just need to wait until later in life to really appreciate it. Two years later I'm told I'm bipolar but just wait 'till college because life will get better. That's it? Really...?

That's why we need better education.

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