DEADPOOL SANG ALONG TO THE song playing from the radio as he sat on the railing of the highway, drawing a picture. Marley was tying up her shoelace on her high heeled boots with on of her feet propped up on the railing next to him and she looked up when he started talking in a random direction.

"Wha- Oh! Oh, hello. I know, right? Who's balls did I have to fondle to get my very own movie? I can't tell you, but it does rhyme with Pollverine. And let me tell you," Wade paused and continued in an Australian accent, "he's got a nice pair of smooth criminals down unda!" Marley lifted an eyebrow at him and removed her leg from the railing. "Anyway, I got places to be, a face to fix, and - oh! Bad guys to kill."

"Mista Pool, the convoy's comin'." Harley pointed out, looking down at the road below. She climbed over the railing and jumped off, landing into one of the vehicles.

Deadpool watched her land and swung off as well, "Maximum effort."

Marley landed in the car, the men stared at her whilst she nursed her sore legs, a result of the landing. "Hi, boys! Give me a sec, I'll be right with ya."

They didn't give her a second. Instead they went in for an attack and she sighed, catching the fists of the men beside her. "I guess we'll do this right now then." She knocked out the guy on her left and shot the guy on her right and in the passenger seat. She then gripped the driver in a head lock and lowered her face to his ear as the car behind them crashed from Wade's doing.

"Where's Francis?!" Harley questioned, tightening her grip until he couldn't breathe. His thrashing about made the car spin out of control and she knew that he wouldn't answer so she snapped his neck and pushed him onto the wheel. It put his weight down on the brake and caused the car to slow to a halt in the middle of the highway.

The clown woman got out of the car to see the car that Wade had crashed on it's side, it's demolished carcass hid her from view of the bad guys that were driving closer to the scene. She could hear multiple men climbing out of their cars and cocking their guns, approaching the turned over car that her friend was in. Marley re-fixed the baseball bat on her back and took out the knife from her boot, holding it tightly in her firm grip.

The window of the car is rolled down and Deadpool stuck his head out, "Hey!- Oh!"

The men began shooting at him so he quickly ducked his dead back down into the safety of the car. After a moment, they stopped and a few of them exchanged glances of confusion. The men then approached the car cautiously with their gun still raised, quickly halting when Deadpool threw his hands up out of the window.

"Wait! You may be wondering, why the red suit? Well, that's so bad guys can't see me bleed. This guy's got the right idea." Wade pointed to one of the men, as if he could actually see where he was pointing to. "He wore the brown pants."

Harley peeked around the corner of the overturned car smiling wickedly, but it was soon wiped of her face when the man in the brown pants shot at her and she had to hide again.

Deadpool retracted his arms, thinking the man was shooting at him. "Fine! I only have twelve bullets, so you're going to have to share. Let's count 'em down."

He jumped out of the window and into the air, quickly firing off two shots. Two men fell down after getting shot in the head and the men started shooting again. One rode past on a motorcycle, shooting as he went passed.

"Shit." Deadpool exclaimed, looking at the bullet hole straight through his forearm. He then noticed Marley standing there a hand on her hip and the other twirling her knife. "Oh hey, munchkin."

Through the hole in his arm, he spotted the biker coming back. He grabbed Marley, pulling her behind him so that she wouldn't get hit by any oncoming bullets. "Mother fucker! Ten."He shot and missed. "Shit! Nine." He missed again "Fuck! Eight." And again. "Shit fuck!"

He turned to Marley and patted her head, "Stay here, Sugarplum."

"Okay, Mista Pool." She grinned. Deadpool then leapt over the car and took aim at the biker, but lost his chance at a good shot.

"Bad Deadpool." Wade sulked, but then noticed one of the men sneaking around the car, unaware that Deadpool is no longer there. The mercenary shot him in the head.

"Seven. Good Deadpool."

Another man began shooting at him and Deadpool sprinted towards him before hiding behind a nearby car. The man reloaded his assault rifle and shot some more, then jumped on top of the car to find Deadpool seductively posed. He tried to shoot, but his gun just clicked from an empty bullet chamber.

"Someone's not counting." Wade shot the man in the head. "Six."

Two men sneaked closer, one of them pulled a pin out of a grenade, ready to throw it. Deadpool shot it while it was still in the man's hand, causing it to explode and kill both of them.

Wade started to dance in celebration, not noticing someone sneak up behind and put a bullet in him. Deadpool was sprawled on the ground, pretending to be dead and the guy walked closer.

"Four. Gotcha" The merc groaned, releasing a bullet from his gun and hitting the man right in the crown jewels. Deadpool stood up, groaning. "Ah! Right up main street."

He walked up to the man he just shot and shot him again twice. "Three! Two! Stupid! Worth it."

Some more men arrived and released a rain of bullets at him. He ducked behind another car as they come into his view. Deadpool jumped over the car and shot a single bullet, which travelled through all three of their heads.

Deadpool smelled the smoke from his guns. "Ooh. I'm touching myself tonight. Harley, you can come out now!"

Marley walked out from behind a van with a loud laugh as she nudged a dead body and Deadpool began prancing through the wreckage and bodies in her direction.

"Francis! Francis!" He searched one of the cars, only to find nothing. "What the shit biscuit! Where you at, Francis?"

Behind him, one of the men he shot stood up, picking the bullet out of his forehead. Deadpool groaned in annoyance and Marley walked up beside him, "Ugh. You're not Francis."

The man dropped the bullet to the floor and rolled up his sleeves.

"Are you kidding me?" Marley moaned in displeasure.

"Really? Rolling up the sleeves?"

The man pulled out some knives and charged at Deadpool. Marley threw her knife, lodging it into the man's shoulder and distracting him as Deadpool retrieved his swords from their holster on his back and impaled the man. He then cut the man in half and put his swords away.

"Now, if I were a two-hundred pound sack of assholes named Francis, where would I hide?" Wade asked rhetorically. The sound of a motorcycle turned the two anti-heroes around. "Oh."

The biker sped past them, shooting. Marley and Wade chased after the figure, the former keeping up quite well in her six inch heeled boots. Deadpool jumped into the air, throwing his sword into the front wheel of the motorcycle. The biker flew off of the bike, hitting the underside of the overturned car from before. Harley and Deadpool walked over happily, stopping a few meters away.

"A hush falls over the crowd as rookie sensation Wade W. Wilson out of Regina, Saskatchewan lines up the shot. His form looks good." Deadpool kicked the biker in the chest, sending him back down.

"And that's why Regina rhymes with fun! Ladies and gentlemen, what you're witnessing is sweet, dick-kicking revenge." Wade continued beating the biker. "Oh! Giving him the business."

"Make him pay, Puddin'!" Marley laughed maniacally, "Beat him til he turns blue."

"I will, Sugarplum. Don't you worry! Incoming!" He threw the biker to the side of the bridge. Then, he kicked the biker's helmet off, revealing it to be Francis.

"Why hi there, Francis!" Harley cackled, "How you holding up? Horribly, I hope."

"This is taking unsportsmanlike conduct to a whole new level!" Wade stabbed his sword through Francis's shoulder and into the bridge barrier, pinning him down.

"Looking good, Francis. Well rested. Like you've been pitching, not catching. Ringing any bells? No?" Wade lifted up his mask, revealing his horrible skin. "How about now?"

"Huh. Wade fucking Wilson. Well hello, gorgeous." Francis's annoying accent taunted.

"Like I got bit by a radioactive Sharpei." Wade jested, putting his mask back down.

Francis then turned to Marley who was twirling her knife at him. "Which makes you Marlene. You're looking a little pale there, doc."

"Yeah, and whose fault is that, Francis? Time to undo what you did to these butterfaces." Deadpool told him, noticing the look on Marley's face after Francis addressed her.

"You two should thank me." Francis replied. "Apparently I made you immortal. I'm actually quite jealous."

"This isn't a life worth living, Francis. We want out." Marley retorted, bending down and showing her knife into his collarbone.

"Now, I'm about to do to you what Limp Bizkit did to music in the late '90s." Deadpool raised his hand back, preparing for a punch, but he hit something else. One of the X-Men named Colossus was stood behind them and Wade felt around where his hand had hit up against. "Dad?"

The teenager that was accompanying Colossus grabbed Marley into a hold as Colossus threw Wade into a car.