THE TIME HAD FINALLY ARRIVED. It was time to go and kill Francis, and Marley couldn't have been more thrilled. She had spent way too long lounging around in their apartment and she could only watch so many episodes of Jeremy Kyle before getting bored, resulting in her painting her nails. They had worked out that the British dickhead would be on the motorway at exactly midday. All they had to do was get there and ambush him and his groupies. Wade called a taxi whilst she was touching up her make up, putting on an extra layer of red lipstick that stood out on against her pure white face. The pale woman failed to notice the subtle glances that Wade sent her way whilst he was on the phone and he was glad for that.

Ever since his birthday, and perhaps even a little bit before that, Wade had come to realise that he cared for her more than he should have. She had done so much for him, more than Vanessa had ever done and he began to question what he would do after this whole Francis thing was over. Would he go back to Vanessa and forget about Marley? Or would they stay in touch? It even crossed his mind that there was a chance he didn't want to get back with his ex and stay with the blonde that was now tightening her wavy pigtails in front of him. It was a strange turn on and channeling his inner daddy kink. (I AM NOT ASHAMED OF PUTTING THIS IN AND NEITHER IS DEADPOOL)

The taxi company on the phone announced that they would be sending a car soon and Wade hung up the phone. The two anti-heroes gathered their weapons and jogged out of the door when the taxi driver honked their car horn outside.

"Hop in!" The driver greeted the two, the passenger side window down as he leaned into view. Wade and Marley climbed into the backseat of the cab and informed the man of their desired destination.

They had been driving for a few minutes and the two anti-heroes were already getting bored. Marley leaned on Wade's shoulder as he picked up a pamphlet for Haunted Segway Tours, folding it up and putting it into his pocket. The blonde reached over him to play with the window, even though she could have easily played with the one on her side of the car. It was more fun that way. Deadpool watched as the window went up and down in sheer boredom and he began to twirl Marley's pigtails between his glove covered fingers.

After he had twirled her blonde locks to perfection, he reached above his head and began to pick at a piece of gum on the room. The ex-psychiatrist had lost interest in the window and started poking holes into the back of the passenger seat with a small knife she usually kept in her high-heeled boot. Suddenly, she felt something hit her head and it took her a second to realise that Wade had accidentally flicked the gum in her platinum hair.

"Puddin'!" She exclaimed in frustration, moving her hands up up to find the disgusting piece of chewed gum.

"Whoops! Sorry...let me just-" Wade reached forward,p pulling the gum carefully from her bright hair and dropped it to the floor of the car, "There we go! Good as new."

The clown glared at him playfully, pushing his hands away and tightening her pigtails. She could tell by the way his mask stretched around his chin that he was grinning. 

"Y'know, they say chewing other people's gum gives you cancer." He quipped.

"You must have chewed a hell of a lot of Hubba Bubba in your lifetime then." She retorted, shifting to look out of her window.

"Rude" Wade scolded playfully. Marley just smirked smugly in reply and checked her makeup in the rear-view mirror as they continued to drive in the back of the taxi.

Silence enveloped the car for a few minutes (Something neither Wade nor Marley were ever used to) and of course Deadpool had to do something about it. He poked his head through the small gap that separated the front of the car from the back and addressed the driver.

"Kinda lonesome back here." The mercenary sulked, "Harley hasn't said a word to my sexy ass since I accidentally threw gum in her hair." He  began trying to get through the gap and grunted to Marley and the driver, "Little help?"

"Sir, I have to keep my hands on the wheel." The driver informed, moving off to the side in his seat a little bit to let Wade fall down.

"I hate you." Marley grumbled, pushing him by the ass through the tight hole so that he fell into the passenger seat. He grunted as he finally got comfortable and glared playfully at Marley as she smiled at him through the gap, resting her chin on her arms.  

"That's a lie, everyone loves me." He replied, poking Marley's nose. She flipped him off after pushing his hand away. "Excuse me."

"Dopinder." The taxi driver introduced holding his hand out to Wade.

"Pool. Dead." Wade replied, shaking his hand. Dopinder held his hand out for Marley, who wasted no time in grabbing it.

"Harley Quinn, hun. But you can call me whatever you want." She smirked, running her hand along the man's shoulder and winking at him. Dopinder had a visible blush on his cheeks and a large smile that both anti-heroes noticed, but only Marley laughed. Wade was glad he was wearing a full face mask, otherwise his glare would've been fully noticeable.

"Mmm. Nice." Deadpool voiced, looking at the picture of a woman on Dopinder's dashboard and distracting himself from scolding Marley about her flirtatious manner with another man that wasn't him. He knew he had no right to tell her who to flirt with. They weren't together.

"Smells good, no?" Dopinder said absentmindedly, thinking Wade was talking about the air freshener.

"Not the Daffodil Daydream. He means the girl." Harley informed, tilting the man's head by his chin in the direction of the picture.

"Ah, yes. Gita. She is quite lovely. She would have made me a very agreeable wife, but, um... Gita's heart has been stolen by my cousin Bantu. He is as dishonourable as he is attractive." 

"Dopinder, I'm starting to think there's a reason we're in this cab today." Deadpool said, looking at Dopinder. 

"Yes, sir, you called for it, remember?" Dopinder replied, clearly not understanding what he was suggesting.

"No, my slender, brown friend. Love is a beautiful thing. When you find it, the whole world tastes like Daffodil Daydream." Wade ranted, pointing to the air freshener and taking a slight glance at Marley without her noticing. She was too busy checking her nails in the backseat.

"Mmm." Dopinder nodded, hanging on to every word.

"So you gotta hold onto love. Tight!" The mercenary exclaimed enthusiastically, raising hit fist along with Dopinder. "And never let go. Don't make the same mistakes I did. Got it?"

Dopinder nodded, "Yes."

"Or else the whole world tastes like Mama June after hot yoga." Wade remarked, staring out of the window.

Dopinder looked at him confused, "Sir, what does Miss Mama June taste like?"

"Like two hobos fucking in a shoe filled with piss." Deadpool stammered, lifting his hands in exasperation. Dopinder waved him off, disgusted with the description.

"Okay, stop."

'He asked for it by asking him,' The voice in Marley's head giggled. It had been a while since she said something. Marley put it down to the fact she had been distracted and therefore had no time for the voice. She was somehow glad it was back again.

"I can go all day, Dopinder. Hell, Harley might even join in." Deadpool said, turning to the cabby, "The point is, it's bad."

Dopinder nodded, "It's bad. Uh, why the fancy red suit and the clown makeup Mr. Pool?"

"Oh, that's because it's Christmas Day, Dopinder. And we're after someone on our naughty list. We've been waiting one year, three weeks, six days, and oh..."

"Fourteen minutes." Marley adds in, peeking over her partner's shoulder at his adventure time watch.

"Fourteen minutes! To make him fix what he did to us." Wade continued.

"And what did he do to the two of you?" Dopinder asked, glancing at Wade and Marley in curiosity.

"This shit." Wade lifted up his mask and stared wide eyed at the man sitting next to him, Dopinder leaned sideways in his seat in a way to avoid him. "Boo!"

"Puddin'! Don't scare the poor guy. He probably shit his pants because of you." Harley scolds her best friend, whacking him on the back of the head and causing him to whine.

"Ow!"

"Oh stop being a little bitch." She reached forward and grabbed his mask, fixing it back on his head to prevent further nightmares for their new friend.

"Someone's Mr grumpy cat today." Wade grumbled to himself, but she heard him clearly.

"I'm not the one who stuck gum in my hair." Marley retorted. Wade began to pat himself down as if he was looking for something, causing his partner to get confused. 

"Aw, shit!" He exclaimed, slumping in his chair.

"What is it?"

"I forgot my ammo bag!"

"Ah crud. You were supposed to leave it by the door so that we wouldn't forget it!"

"It's not my fault the studio was on a budget and had to limit the action scenes!"

"Shall we turn back?" Dopinder asked, eyes travelling between the two mercenaries as they argued.

"NO!" They shouted without meaning to.

"No time. Fuck it. We got this. Nine, ten, eleven, twelve bullets, or bust. What about you sweet cheeks?"

"I don't have a gun. Only a bat and extreme style." Marley replied, checking the backseat if she had brought any stuff. "We're here!"

Dopinder slammed on the breaks in the middle of the highway, causing the cars behind them to stop aswell. 

Dopinder checked the cost of the cab ride and turned to his passenger, "That's uh, twenty seven fifty."

"I, I never carry a wallet while I'm working. Ruins the lines of my suit." Deadpool excused.

"Oh."

"But, uh, how 'bout a crisp high-five?!" he asked, holding up his gloved hand.

"Okay." Dopinder smiled, high-fiving the man.

"Harley you too." 

Marley leaned through the gap and hive-fived Dopinder before getting out of the cab with Wade.

"Merry Christmas."

"Good luck with the cab driving, hun!"

"And a convivial Tuesday in April to you too, Pool!" The driver called after them and then drove off.