~Y/N POV~

We have two days left at the crystal falls pack, meaning Namjoon still has two days left to actually decide if he was going to kill the Alpha as he requested or not. He may of asked me what he should do and I stand by what I think he should do which is to kill him. It's very unfortunate but if this man is willing to do this for the better of others by giving Namjoon his strength this way then how can you really say no to that?

But I also understand Namjoon's concern if he were to do this. He could change and not in a good way if it's not settled right but that's where I come in as his mate.. I wouldn't leave his side and I've reassured him over and over again I wouldn't leave him.

We haven't actually spoken about it since he told me all this and as much as I'd like to say something more about it I know he thinks about it a lot when he randomly stares off into space or completely misses what I've been talking to him about at that time. He's thinking hard and I don't want to put more pressure on him about this decision but what ever it may be, I'll always be by his side.

In fact Namjoon was so frustrated this morning in his thoughts I gave him a blow job for the first time which surprised him greatly but he recuperated the actions by going down on me and we ended up having sex. Mind blowing sex I can tell you that, not like its never like that but this was different. He's stressed and I wanted to help him out in any way necessary.

But now that we've had multiple rounds this morning and all through this afternoon, Namjoon ran us a bubble bath since I couldn't walk to do it myself and together we've been sitting in this large round white marble bath tub ever since. Namjoon sitting towards the back, his legs stretched out on either side of me as I sat between his legs, my back against his chest our fingers in both hands entwined with one another as if we couldn't get any closer than that.

Neither one of us were speaking and although I couldn't see his face I just knew he was back to his thinking mode again. I just left him to it and started to play with the bubbles between our hands, picking up a clump of the white foamy bubbles just to blow hard for them to fly off our hands and land back in the water. I always liked bubbles and it was even more amusing that Namjoon didn't care that I was using the back of his hands to place the bubbles on top of before they were blew away.

"Y/n I need to tell you something." Namjoon

Finally he spoke out loud, breaking the silence in the room. I dropped our joined hands to the water by my sides and shifted my upper body to turn around so I could see his face.

"Oh? What is it?"

I know deep down what it is, especially judging by the serious expression on his face as he stares deep down into my eyes when he takes a deep breath as if to calm himself down.

"I've come to a decision on what to do about this situation we're in." Namjoon

"Well what ever you decide to do I will follow it and by right beside you."

I smiled up at him letting go of one of his hands just to cup one cheek which he leans into with a soft smile and places his hand on top of mine.

"I know you will which is why I've decided I'll do it." Namjoon

At this I swear my eyes bulged out of my head and my jaw dropped. A part of me thought he wouldn't actually go through with this but I guess I was wrong.

"Really? What made you decide to do this?"

He lowered his gaze from my eyes to the small space between us and I removed my hand from his cheek just to rest on his chest, feeling his heart beating so fast.

"For our future. There's a lot of cons for me doing this and I have to focus on them. The one and only pro con I can think of is me loosing myself after this but I'm certain that with you by my side I wont fall into that darkness." Namjoon

"Of course I'll be by your side I already told you that."

He nodded at me, a small smile creeping up upon his face.

"I know that so with that reassurance I suppose it would be a small sacrifice to make on my part but on the alpha's its huge. It amazes me what a father would be willing to do for his daughter." Namjoon

I nodded shortly before he leans a little more forwards towards me, eyes closed and our foreheads resting on each others. I don't know what possessed me to do it but I closed my eyes also, my entire body just filling with love and warmth that flows from his body to mine. I may not be a wolf like him but somehow I just feel that we have such a strong connection that it's unbreakable at this point.

"It's frustrating sometimes you know." Namjoon

I opened my eyes just to see his are still closed but a light smile still evident on his face.

"What's frustrating?"

He opened his eyes slowly, instantly to look deep into my own with his.

"That I can't get into your head to know what you're thinking." Namjoon

I giggled at that and pecked the tip of his nose.

"Shall I tell you what I'm thinking then?"

"Yes please." Namjoon

If I had to be honest with him, I had to force myself to turn around again so my back was to his chest again, sitting comfortably between his legs. What I'm about to admit to him may get me a little embarrassed since he haven't talked about it.

"I think about our future together, where it's going to go, what's going to happen."

"Like what? What do you think is going to happen?" Namjoon

Gently with one hand he ran his fingers through my damp hair from behind just to brush it off to the side and rest his chin on my shoulder.

"That one day we will get married, have children and just grow old together in a house of our own but obviously very close to the pack house. Of course always have a spare room for Yoongi so he can grow old there and be known as the grumpy uncle by our children."

I laughed just thinking of that image in my head. Even Namjoon laughed and softly pecked my shoulder, smoothly running his hands up and down the side of my arms.

"You know in my world we are practically married since I marked you as mine but if it's an legal marriage you shall one day then that you shall get. Yoongi, I can totally agree on that one and as for the children part, all you have to do is say the word and I'll try my best." Namjoon

On the inside my heart was filling with joy and relieve that I have finally told him what I've been thinking about these last few weeks. Just with everything going on I didn't think it would be the right time to start mentioning these things but also in case he thought it was too soon.

But now I know he's just as ready as I am about all these things I want in life.

But which one do I want first the most?