"So, are you ready for tonight?" Nina asks me as she walks into her room with her water.

"Yeah. I mean, I think I am." I say, as I nervously adjust myself sitting on the bed.

It has been several weeks since the night of the homecoming dance and things becoming official with Dean and I. Its been going great too. Thanksgiving was okay. I cooked most of the dinner, and it was just Seth, Val, and I. The dinner turned out good, but it had nothing on mom and dads. Nina's birthday was on December 9 and her parents ended up throwing a dinner party, and it was quite nice. I ended up buying her a new catcher's glove and she went berserk over the leather glove with her initials engraved. It was now the day before Christmas Eve, and we all planned to go out to the field tonight and play, and they want me to pitch. Dean has kept his promise by making me practice every night, but it has only been hitting up until tonight. I can't tell whether I am more nervous or eager to try to pitch again.

"You will do just fine. Just don't overthink it. Have you really not pitched at all with all that training you and Dean are doing?" Nina finger quotes training and wiggles her brows. She sits on the bed next to me.

I can't help but giggle. "No, pervert." I say and nudge her. "We have just been hitting in the cage. So, I hope I haven't lost my edge with pitching."

"Like I said, you will be fine. What about tomorrow night? I want to see a video! I love when people post like their proposals and stuff on YouTube." She folds her hands together and grins.

Since Christmas is...was my parents' favorite holiday, along with Seth, Val, and myself. Seth decided that Christmas Eve was a good time to propose. Nina and I had concocted, what I think, is a cute way. The plan is for Seth to take Valerie out to go ice skating and he is going to pretend to fall, which should be easy for him considering he falls every two minutes, and when she tries to help him up, he will pull out the ring and roll onto one knee. Dean and I are planning to make dinner as a congratulations for when they come back home. Though, if she says no, that could be awkward. Ahh, who am I kidding? She won't say no.

"I'm excited for them. Valerie is going to be so shocked. And don't worry, I got it covered. I already paid the man that runs the rink to film it."

The two stadium lights that stand on both sides of the field, are illuminating the well-maintained grass field. Nina and I start walking towards the dug out where Dean, Caleb, Dex, and Kaitlyn. Dean lights up as soon as he see's me and my nervousness of this game disappears.

"There's my girl." Dean exclaims and stands up to hug me.

"Hey." I flush and wave to everyone, after hugging my man.

"Well, you guys ready to do this or what?" Dex asks.

Kaitlyn, whom Nina and I have become fond of ever since Dex brought her to the dance, stands up and wipes her dirt covered butt from the cement bench in the dugout. "As ready as I am ever going to be. I am forewarning you guys now, I don't play softball. I am a cheerleader so go easy on me." She puts her hands up as if surrendering and laughs nervously while grabbing her glove.

Caleb kisses Nina's cheek as she puts her gear on. As soon as she turns on her heel to head to the field, Caleb smacks her butt.

"Babe! Stop! There are children present." Nina boasts.

Caleb pouts. "Fine." Nina giggles and rolls her eyes.

I stand for a minute, trying to slow my breathing down. I see Kaitlyn standing in the outfield and she looks like she's getting ready to pick the grass. Caleb stands at short stop position, which is between second and third base. Nina stands waiting for me at home plate where she is going to be the catcher and Dean is going to be hitting first. He has never seen me pitch. Well, not in person at least.

Dean walks up next to me holding his bat and swings his arm over me. "You got this Scar. Show me what you can do." He brings his hand to my cheek and kisses me ever so quickly before jogging to the mat to hit and I admire his behind in those tight baseball pants. Okay, get it together Scar.

I walk to the pitcher's mound and wipe off the dirt on the white slab. I can do this. I flip the ball around in my hand and then put my glove on. A glove that I have had for about three years now when my dad got it for me for Christmas. The feeling is familiar to me as I glide it over my hand, but it feels almost different now. I admire the batter momentarily before looking down at my hand holding the ball. Nina throws a signal for me to pitch a fast ball. I nod and then get in my stance, bringing the glove up, close enough to smell the old leather. I glance up and exhale, my vision now zeroed in on the bleachers behind Nina.

Images of my last game come flooding in my mind. I was beginning to have déjà vu, with all the painful memories coming in at once. Coach needs to talk to you. I'm sorry, they didn't make it. They were on the way to your game. Yes, the drunk driver lived.

"Scarlett! Scarlett, what's wrong baby?" Dean mutters and grabs my shoulders. "Talk to me. Jesus, your shaking. Breathe baby, breathe." His voice full of worry as he tries to wake me from the horrid flashbacks. I hadn't even noticed him run over to me.

I see Nina standing over home plate, holding her helmet. Her eyes wide in terror and confusion as she watches her best friend have a public melt down. I exhale and vigorously shake my head, dropping my glove and ball, and bend over my waist to place my hands on both knees. The throbbing in my chest continues, my skin prickles, and the sand soaks up the tear drops that have fallen from my eyes.

"I...I.... can't do it Dean." I croak. Everything that happened with my parents...it's like it is happening all over again when I hold that damn ball." I wipe my face and pick up the ball. "This damn ball! This fucking game! This-" I hold up the ball, "this is why my parents are dead." I can't even focus...my eyesight gets blurry just remembering everything and it gets dark. I stand up as I exhale and look at Dean, who looks as lost as I do. "This brings nothing to me but darkness now!" I shout, throwing the ball to the ground.

His firm hands are rubbing my arms and it is slightly giving me a tingly yet comforting feeling. I look into his eyes and I can feel myself starting to breathe again. "Scar, you can do this. You need to pick that ball up and not give up. This- "he says as he picks up my glove, "is nothing but a game. A game that you happen to love. A game that your parents knew you loved. This isn't the reason why they died baby. Once you release your first pitch, it will come back. You need to face your fears and know that you are not alone." I put my head down to try to hide my quivering lip, but he tucks one of his long fingers under my chin and pulls it back up. His blue eyes boring into mine. "We will get through this together, I promise. Let me be your light in the darkness." He whispers.

I shiver at his words, but not in a bad way, more of a understanding way. I sniffle and wipe my runny nose on my long sleeve. I can do this. "I can do this." I repeat my thoughts.

"Okay baby. Just look at me if you need to. Remember to breathe Scar." He grabs the ball from the ground and hands me my glove and the ball. "Remember, its just a game. Its just a ball and a glove. Nothing else. Just play Scar. Play and let yourself love it again." He kisses me and jogs back over to Nina and talks to her.

She looks over at me, still looking frantic as ever. I nod, reassuring her that I am fine, and she slightly nods back, hesitating before putting her helmet back on. She crouches down in her stance once again and signals for a fast ball and I nod again.

Please, please let me do this. I exhale and look down at the white slab on the dirt. 'Dirt is our thing shithead. If the feeling of the grainy sand rubbing on your fingers, helps ease your mind and grasp that ball better for control, then do it. Some use chalk for pool, we use dirt.' I remember my dad's words and look back into Dean. Even with a helmet on, I can see his electric blue eyes still piercing. He is my light. I am not afraid when I have those eyes looking at me. Only at me.

In a fast motion, I throw my arm in a circular motion and throw my leg out in front of me, pushing off with the other, and with a flick of my wrist, I pitch the ball. The wonderful sound ringing in my ear, a sound that I had craved to hear again for so long. I exhale again, not realizing I was holding my breath, when I hear Dex whooping and hollering.

"Fuck yes baby. Just like that Scar! Do it again." Dean rejoices the same time Nina says, "Yes girl, yes! Again."

My cheeks burn with the adrenaline rush that it just gave me from pitching that ball. I need more. I need to hear that sound again. The sound of heaven. "Show me your best Scar. I will hit it this time." Dean yells and winks at me.

Nina throws the ball back to me, grinning as she signals a curve ball. She is fully aware it is my best pitch. I grin back and look at Dean once more. I repeat the same motion, flicking my wrist to release the curve and I hear it smash right into Nina's glove. I close my eyes and almost cry at the sound; it is so beautiful. I feel something come back to life in me. All thanks to these wonderful people whom have came into my life when I needed them most. And to my light, who looks startled at the plate, for bringing me out of the dark.

He smacks his helmet and laughs. "Alright. Alright. You a fine ass pitcher, so you were distracting me. Try it again." He begs and winks at me.

I tease him by slightly swaying my hips. "Alright baby. Game on."